Thursday, March 10, 2011

Texas Hold 'em

Got up early this morn'n wonder'n what I were gonna do for the rest of the day. Spent my 2 hours, or more, read'n a few blogs and the news. Stocks were up so that put a smile on my face. Another few more years and I might just be a multi thousandaire.

Had my morning chat with old uncle Ben even before I had my first cup of coffee. I think the guy is stalk'n me. It's so late in the evening/night that I don't even remember what we talked about. Nonsense I'm sure.

Decided to take a run to town for 5 gallons of coffee water and drop off a couple bags of trash. Had it in my mind to pick up some ice cream but that didn't work out. Ya see, I went in this Mexican grocery store what I ain't never been in. I looks around and half their refrigerated cases was not work'n. So, no ice cream. Now the other store has super cold ice cream....two brands. One is good and the other is not so good....in fact, it sucks. But the flavor I had my heart set on was no where to be found. So I decided I would go plat a little Texas hold'em poker on the way home. What I did.

Ya see, it's like this....theres a bunch of old junk travel trailers with a big patio in the middle of it. They call it the Oasis Club. What ever. Anyhows I stood on the sidelines for a spell. Wait'n for an empty chair. And boy howdy was that chair ever cold. All I did was warm a chair and toss a few chips in the middle of the table. Never won a dime. In fact, I never had a hand worth play'n. Next time I'm gonna win all the chips, take my winnings, go to town and buy me some ice cream.

Did I ever tell ya bout the time.....I figgered out a system to beat the odds at blackjack. Simple system. Just takes balls to do it. Spent a couple months fine tun'n the system and then on my way back from Georgia I stopped off at a casino in Mississippi. Set myself down at a blackjack table and started cuss'n right off the bat. Out loud too. Anyhows, I don't know if the system works of not....they throwed me slap out. Special escort. Two big ol' boys bout 3 times my size. Wouldn't even let me play the slots on the way to the door. 

Had another nice campfire tonight. But damn, that old Tennessee Ken is so full of poop. My god some of his stories. I think everyone know he's just blow'n smoke. Tells the same story over and over....different every time. I know!!!


  1. Well Now, I see you got to experience playing with one of the most welll known high rollers in Atlantic City and barely lived to tell the tale. ya see, James which no doubt was at the oasis, used to be a very famous high roller card player.Now a slabber.

    I wonder if my name is still up on the Oasis membership board?

  2. I think craving ice cream is right up there with craving a smoke! But the ice cream is good for you. Hope you get some soon.

  3. Waz amatter,did ole Tennessee Ken tell his lies and stores without stopping so you never had a chance to one up him with yours ? :-)

    Remember , fist lair ain't got a chance.

  4. ^%$%$#@ after that story about a mexican grocery, guess i gotta tell u about stopping at a mexican bar. Was out just driving, n bar hopping, and way out in nowhere, saw this ol vehicle pull out from this little one room place, told bf,,thats a bar, i can tell,,by the way he drove outta there, sooo here we went. Stopped just inside the door at the bar, looked around, and the few in there was just staring. Went to the bar, ordered our beer, and ooo noo. NO HABLA ENGLISH,,had to call a customer to come up and interpret for our beer order. Needless to say,we sat way over with our backs to the wall, watching them watch us, drank most of those beers, and left. Got on down the highway, about 30 mins, and this one looked lots better. Got outta the car,, and oooo NOOOO,,,I had left my purse back there!!!!Had quite a bit of money in it, so,,just back in the car, back to the wetback bar, get the interpreter again, and then, i glance over at the table where we had sat. There was that purse, same spot. Never been touched!!! We grabbed and ran.....
    btw, got a blog now, if u wanna check it out ,,http://troublentx@blogspot.com Probably post about as much as u do. lololol

  5. Heh heh Billy bob! I only been here three nights, and I heard that ole Tennesse Ken tell the same story FOUR times already! Got it twice tonight~! hahahahahhahahah

    We got his ticket, fur sure!

  6. Billy Bob, if the bouncers put their hands on you then you can charge them with assault.

  7. Ill tell you a story about some folks I met in Alaska when I was out in the middle of way out yonder.

    my closest neighbor was abotu 90 acres away from me. and all the others were lots farther. but this neighbor said it was time to meet my other closest neighbor. So we drove and drove and drve through these little trails until we came to a clearing and there was a home built log cabin with turkeysand chickens runnin around the normal junk int he front yard, but no one coming out to greet us. Hmmm thats odd says Adam, so we came up to the front door and just before we knocked the door opens and a double barrel shot gun is sticken in my face, the tall shaggy man kinda creature says Friend Or FOE" I say friend Adam says it me ya dummy. he lowers the gun and puts it back above the door on the nails. introductions aside ,he invites us in. sittin on the couch is grandma, ( no description for now) and no one else in the one room two story cabin. There is stairs made of half logs going up. I hear noises like lots of people are up stairs. Hmmm place smells funny. Anyway after the usual nosepickin. (investigation) he tells me he wants to introduce me to his girls. So he yells ATTENTION! and one by one comes these Girl like creatures down the stairs. they take their time lineing up like in the army and then I am introduced to one at a time like field in spection.
    " this is is so and so ( forgot the name) she has been returned a few times for insubordination, this is so and so ( anther just as purdy, Not really) and she is holdin out for a gooden. anyway after meeting 5 of his daughters he turns to me and says , so who will it be? I say huh? he says common I cant afford to feed em and you are alone out here decide which one you want. I look at adam smiling and say I think I need to go out side for abit. The dad says " what fer? you havent picked one out yet. go ahead and take one home and try her out see if you two get along. then quickly he says OH you prolly are over come by the smell ATTENTION BOY! just then his son comes down the stairs and the dad says to him , its changing of the guard time go get it and dump it. the son whines and says its too full and he doesnt want to. the dad gives him a look and the son goes into a closet and I hear him making throw up sounds. he yells out , you should make So and so dump it ( forgot the girls name , obviously his sister though) because she is the last one who over flowed it. She says no I didnt , the boy said yes u did cause you had corn last and I see it. any way the boy walks out through the room with a spilling bucket of crap. and I almost lost it. a few minutes later after Adam and the Dad are talking I go to the door and leave before it shuts. The dad and Adam follows me and the dad says , remember next time you come knocking you could get shot.

    Adam says to me in the car, " I tried a few of them out and they aint so bad , you should have taken him up on the offer"

    I tell him Im married and thats ok
    I go drop him off at his house and get home and just sit for while before I write this all down in my journal.

    Ok most of you know me by now and know , if I say its the truth , then its the truth, Folks this is a true story.