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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Where's Wayne???

Boy howdy, will summer ever get here. Someone told me it was snow'n.....somewhere. Well it ain't here in Deming, but it is rather chilly.

Old Billy Bob has been busy for the last couple days. Yesterday....or was it day before, I loaded up 8 washer loads of clothes and blankets from 4 months of boondock'n out in southern Calif. Got rid of the "old man" smell ya know. Think'n bout wash'n up all them other clothes hang'n in my closet. Or throw them in the dumpster.

Has anybody been watch'n the stock market? Boy howdy, old Billy Bob is get'n rich. In just 2 days ATT has gone up almost $2. Suppose that 'cause they are buying T-Mobile??? What ever it is, I hope it keeps climbing till I'm a multi thousandaire.

Yesterday old pesky neighbor Wayne throwed a scare in me. He been hav'n a problem with a pulled muscle of pinched nerve in his neck. He went to a "bone bender" and made it worse. So worse that he had to go to El Paso to the hospital. But he didn't tell me. I waited for him to make his morning visit to "da house", but he never showed up. What the hell, is he lay'n over there on the floor dead? So I go check. Ain't nobody home. Sure glad I didn't find him.

Still don't have the slightest where I'm gonna go this summer. If I go east again, I will be making a stop in Dallas to visit old Uncle Ben again. But this time we gonna do something other than sit'n in an old recliner watch t/v all day. Then there's Dizzy Dick. Sure would like to go catch that big bass out his swamp. Gonna have to do some sit'n on "da porch" sip'n a cup and think'n.


Wonder if that "little red Bronco II" will start up if I go out there and twist the key? I got to think'n, maybe I should put a couple bucks in the Bronco instead of spending another $5000 on a Suzuki Side Kick. More think'n on that matter.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Toad hunt'n in Deming

Holy crap, it's cold in Deming. Last night it got down to 37 degs.

Went off to the golf course yesterday. Ain't gonna mention the score, but I beat old pesky neighbor Wayne like a step child.

Oh, did I tell ya that Wayne murdered a duck??? Ya see, it was like this.....we came around to the 10 hole tee box and there was 2 mallard ducks. Sadie Mae seen them, jumped out the golf cart and took off after them ducks. One went one way and the other ran up under the golf cart. Dead duck.

Got up this morning hurt'n in the hip again. Does pain ever cease? So, nuttin exciting was done today that I can write about. Although I did sit on "da porch". Didn't realize how much I missed sit'n out there sip'n a cup and think'n. Had a serious thought about painting it, but if I did that, the paint gonna peel and have to be scraped and painted again. Hmmmmm....enough of that thought.....looks good from here.

Got the urge to go up in the mountains and do some "shoot"n" guns. Wayne got him a .357 like mine and a couple boxes of 38 specials. We could have a good ol' time. Take my Henery .22 and my shot gun....shoot all kinds of stuff.

Pretty much decided to look for a new "toad" to tow behind "Sally da house".  The "that jeep" is just too heavy. Close to 6,000 pounds. Although "Sally" doesn't complain, I'm sure it's a lot of extra weight for her to be pulling around the country. Seen a couple Suzuki Side Kicks behind motor homes at the "slabs" and liked to look. They weigh less that 4,000 pounds, have 4 doors and ride good. What more could I want???

Friday, March 25, 2011

Cowboy country

Holy Cows Billy Bob, slow this big thing down. Didn't you see the turn off to them ostriches back there? There musta been a ga... gazil.....bout ten of them. Now I done forgot the name of the place....damn.

Anyhows, I got up early this morn'n think'n time would fly by and I could hit the road come bout 10 or 11am. By 9am I was so bored I had to do something. So here I am at 1pm sit'n in Texas Canyon 200 mile down the road. Went through Tuscon do'n a hunert mile a hour. Well maybe not that fast, but poooof, Tuscon was in my rear view mirrors. Gonna make it to Lordsburg sometime this afternoon....get'n low on gas. May even decide to goon to Deming before the sun sets. Only another 130 mile. What ya think???

After read'n all them cowboy books, I been noticing all these little towns along the way. Well hell, that's where Luke Short rode his horse, Wyatt Earp shot them fellers in Tumbstone, Wile E. Coyote done catch up to that pesky damn roadrunner. Boy howdy.

Walked the dog and stretch my legs, ate me up a samich and now I think I feel a nap com'n on.

Well I want you lookie here. Old Billy Bob is in Lordsburg, New Mexico. Just put 150 dollar worth of gas in this thing and still have plenty daylight left to make it to Deming by supper time (late supper). But boy howdy is the wind ever blow'n. Lucky for me, it's blow'n on my backside....sav'n gasoline by the gallon.

6pm......Yep, here I are back in Deming. Sadie was happy to see we were finally home. Old pesky Wayne was happy to see us back. Says he can out drive me and beat me at a game of golf ball swak'n. That remains to be seen....maybe tomorrow afternoon.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Deming bound

Well shoot, here it is Thursday morning and I ain't ready to roll yet. More'n likely 'cause it's still too early. Since I only plan on driving to Gila Bend today, bout 200 mile or so, I ain't gonna leave till bout 11am.  All I got left to do is bring in the cow head and hook up "that jeep".

Had a nice farewell campfire last night with everyone present. Then the wind kicked up and I hauled to "da house".

Did I tell ya bout the guy that built one them one man airplane thingys? Well, he had it sit'n up there by the road, take off and landing strip, and fired up the engine. Sounded pretty good....till he gave it some petal to the metal. Then it sounded like an old Briggs and Straton lawm mow'n machine motor. Puff and poot'n, blow'n smoke and "pooof" it quit run'n. And this guy is gonna fly this thing??? Boy howdy, he gonna die.

Well, he finally got it all tuned out, jumped in the seat and headed for the road. BAMMM, he done hit his little Toyota van with the wing. But that didn't stop him. He whip that sucker out in the road and away he go....a hunert mile a hour. But he didn't take off. I says "Oh shit, he gonna die". Then he was airborne...."look out that tree". Made a loop at bout 200 feet high and something went wrong....he were lose'n altitude fast. I says "he gonna die". Well he didn't. Made a perfect 3 point landing.

Ok, it's time to go......in a hour or so.

Well shoot, that didn't take long. Got "that jeep hook up, lights work....ready to roll. Now what I gonna do for the next hour???

Did I ever tell ya bout the time....I was gonna go on a fish'n trip...meet the guys at the lake. Got up real early, it were still dark outside, made me up a pot of coffee and started load'n up my stuff. Bout time the sun come up, I was head'n for the fish catch'n place.....go'n a hunert mile a hour. Drove for a couple hours and pull up to the camp. The other fellers say...."what took ya so long"? We start load'n gear in the old fish boat and I start look'n round. "Where the hell my fish poles and tackle box"?
The moral of this story is........ MAKE A LIST.

Update....old Billy Bob is sit'n in Gila Bend, Arizona. That's it, I ain't go'n no further today. Not that I'm tired or anything like that, I just decided this was it......just like "the plan". Now it the cops don't come along and run me off, this where I gonna be in the morning. I could'a pick a better place to park, but Sadie had'a pee.

Holy crap, you wouldn't believe how fast my internet is work'n. I must be sit'n right slap dab under a tower.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Count down to blast off

Good morning America. Boy howdy do I feel like crap this morning. "Ya gotta get some sleep Billy Bob". Was 3 oclock in the morn'n when something woke me up. What the hell, it's rain'n and the wind is blow'n. Windows....the windows in "that jeep" are down. So I runs outside, half naked, to roll them up. They are electric. And the battery is dead. Grrrrrrrr, I left the key turned on. Went back inside and thought...."what ya gonna do now Billy Bob"? Well shoot....jumper cables....what I did. Back inside again, I was freez'n cold and wide awake. Do I stay up, like old Uncle Ben, or do I go back to bed?

Well it's been like 3 days since I had my tachicardia attack and all I get is an "ass chew'n" for not tak'n a pill. Well, I DO take my pills. It just so happened that I had run out, felt good, thought I could go a few days with out one....etc. etc.....

Have ya ever seen "weird" look'n people??? Boy howdy let me tell ya, ya gotta go to the "slabs" just one time in your life. It's Halloween 365 days a year. Now some of ya might say these people are just "down on their luck" and wear what they can find in the dumpsters and stuff. Well that ain't so when they can flop down $20 or $50 down on the poker table, 30 pac sit'n at their feet, 1/2 gallon hi dollar rum jug and a 5 pound bag of pot hang'n out their pocket. No, these people ain't down on their luck....this is the way they want to live. Sure wish old Billy Bob could live like that.


Got the inside of "da house" just about ready to roll. Took some do'n, but I'm ready.

By the way....did I tell ya I won play'n Texas hold'em again. Since I didn't have any special plans for saturday afternoon, I headed down to the Oasis. (that sounds like a song don't it???) Anyhows, I plopped out enough change to get a "buy in" and commenced to fee the kitty. I'm good at that not know'n what the hell I'm do'n. Then the tables turned....my way. Chips started pil'n up in front me like I was one them Wyatt Earp/Doc Holiday professional gambler fellers. After 7 grueling hours at the table, bout to pee my pants, I ended up with a whole $28 profit.
Good morning America. Boy howdy do I feel like crap this morning. "Ya gotta get some sleep Billy Bob". Was 3 oclock in the morn'n when something woke me up. What the hell, it's rain'n and the wind is blow'n. Windows....the windows in "that jeep" are down. So I runs outside, half naked, to roll them up. They are electric. And the battery is dead. Grrrrrrrr, I left the key turned on. Went back inside and thought...."what ya gonna do now Billy Bob"? Well shoot....jumper cables....what I did. Back inside again, I was freez'n cold and wide awake. Do I stay up, like old Uncle Ben, or do I go back to bed?

Well it's been like 3 days since I had my tachicardia attack and all I get is an "ass chew'n" for not tak'n a pill. Well, I DO take my pills. It just so happened that I had run out, felt good, thought I could go a few days with out one....etc. etc.....

Have ya ever seen "weird" look'n people??? Boy howdy let me tell ya, ya gotta go to the "slabs" just one time in your life. It's Halloween 365 days a year. Now some of ya might say these people are just "down on their luck" and wear what they can find in the dumpsters and stuff. Well that ain't so when they can flop down $20 or $50 down on the poker table, 30 pac sit'n at their feet, 1/2 gallon hi dollar rum jug and a 5 pound bag of pot hang'n out their pocket. No, these people ain't down on their luck....this is the way they want to live. Sure wish old Billy Bob could live like that.


Got the inside of "da house" just about ready to roll. Took some do'n, but I'm ready.

By the way....did I tell ya I won play'n Texas hold'em again. Since I didn't have any special plans for saturday afternoon, I headed down to the Oasis. (that sounds like a song don't it???) Anyhows, I plopped out enough change to get a "buy in" and commenced to fee the kitty. I'm good at that not know'n what the hell I'm do'n. Then the tables turned....my way. Chips started pil'n up in front me like I was one them Wyatt Earp/Doc Holiday professional gambler fellers. After 7 grueling hours at the table, bout to pee my pants, I ended up with a whole $28 profit.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Tachicardia night

Holy crap, I almost died.

Ya see it was like this.....we was sit'n round the table over at the "main gathering place", Rich and Mary's front yard eat'n french fries and shoot'n the bull. I started sweat'n a bit and said "what the hell", something ain't right. Felt my pulse and yep, something weren't right. Headed back to "da house", strapped on the old blood pressure thingy and HOLY SHIT....184 pulse rate. Blood press was still ok. I have medication to control my heart rate but I was out for the last 3 days. After 45 minutes on the floor, after I lit up a smoke, my heart rate began to head back to normal. Now a day later, I'm feeling pretty good. Still a little dizzy when I stand up and weak from the attack, but will be back to normal tomorrow. Just in time to go play a round of Texas Hold'em.

Called in my meds this morning....first time I ever did that, took off for Walmart for a few grocery items and haul off a bag of trash to the dumpster down town. I was go'n lickity split down the highway and here come this big ol' bus down the cross road like he gonna run that stop sign. Holy crap, is he gonna stop. I hit my brakes just to be on the safe side. That big ol' bus crossed the highway right in front of me, never even see me com'n down the road go'n lickity split. That were a close one.

Speak'n of never see me com'n, how many of ya depend on railraod technology? You know, them crossing gates what come down to warn ya a train will be pass'n by in just a few seconds. Go'n lickity slit ya know. Do you look to see if maybe there might be a train or do you depend on the gates to tell ya? Your life could depend on the old addage "STOP, LOOK and LISTEN". The reason I say this is years ago I was headed off to do some "night" work, where I had to cross a railroad track. It didn't have gate, but it did have them little flash'n light thingys with bells. Well, they weren't flash'n and the bells weren't ring'n, so I went lickity split across then tracks. HOLY SHIT.....there's a freak'n train, horns a blow'n and lights a flash'n. Yes I made it across, but let me tell ya.....I left my heart somewheres back there on them tracks. Took me 30 minutes to recover. Poor bro in law must'a pooped his pants 'cause he wanted to go home right now.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Poker play'n fool

Boy howdy let me tell ya....that Billy Bob is one poker play'n fool. Them cards was a fall'n my way and I was a bet'n like I knowed what I was do'n. Didn't win much, but I WON. That what makes the difference between a "rookie" and a professional. Hee Hee Hee!!!!

Sure do want to give a great big welcome to all the new followers. Boy howdy. "Ok Billy Bob, now ya got to entertain them". Get'n close to going back to Deming where old "pesky neighbor Wayne" lives, I think I can keep a smile on your faces. You know how I pick on him quite frequently....right??? Hee hee hee....he's easy.

For all the new followers, old Billy Bob is camped out where there ain't no electricity, water and all that stuff. Boondock'n....that what it is. I have to start my generator to make coffee.....since it runs off'n electricity. As for water, a shower every couple weeks and sending the dog "Sadie" over to the neighbors to drink, water consumption is minimal.

Is it possible for an older feller to catch ADD (or what ever it's called)? Ya see, it was like this.....I got up to make a cup of coffee....right now. Went and turned the generator off and by the time I got back to here, I done forgot what I was gonna do. Sheesh, I do that a lot lately.

Last night was one of them sciatica nights. Thought my leg was gonna fall off. Little creepy crawler things run'n up and down my leg, hurt like hell, thought it was never gonna quit. Got up and lit up a smoke and all was fine after that....other than the cough. Did I tell ya how much I shrinked in the last 5 or 10 years? I used to be as tall as old fart "uncle Ben", but now I'm only 5 foots 8 inches. Well maybe not quite as tall as him, but somewheres bout 5 foots 10 inch. Hee Hee Hee! 

Ok, it look like old Billy Bob has got to get off'n his butt and get ready to pull out. That what I started the other day is get'n bigger and bigger and nuttin done. But what the heck, I got till the cows come home. I think they will be here next week right bout the time I pull out. Look'n at next thursday.

Sure wish I had some pics to post, but I ain't been tak'n none. You know how it is!!!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Departure frome the slabs....soon

Here I are, just sit'n round "do'n nuttin". But that's nothing new is it?

Went down to the Oasis the other day and got me a chair at that Texas Hold 'em table. Was 8 of us play'n. Bought me up $10 worth of chips and commenced to feed the kitty. Damn, ain't I ever gonna win a pot? Bought me up another $10 worth of chips and boy howdy, I started win'n a few. After 2 hours of hard play we shut the game down. Counted my chips and I lost a whole dollar.

Went riding around yesterday just to pass the time and get out of "da house". Well shoot, weren't nothing exciting bout that. Got back in time for a big ol' grilled shrimp and pineapple cook out. Now that was some good eat'n let me tell ya.  Sat around the campfire for a couple hours and headed back to "da house".

Get'n close for old Billy Bob to start think'n bout head'n back to Deming. Well, I been think'n bout it, just ain't done nuttin. Looks like the weather is almost perfect there, so in a few days I'll be headed out. That means a "to do list" and boy howdy, just look'n round me, it's gonna be a big list.

Gonna have a St Patrick's day feast here in a couple days and I ain't got a thing that has any green in it. Thought about dying my goatee green but skeered it won't wash out.

As much as I hate it I'm gonna have to make a Walmart trip. Not today though.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Happy Birthday Peaches. Went over to the official "campsite gathering place" and ate up a piece of birthday cake. Since I'm on a strict diet, I had a very small piece.

Got to think'n bout critters. So here goes.

This was "Webster", the meanest cat on 4 wheels. He might look innocent, but ya didn't turn your back on this cat. He would grab ya and not let go.
This was Beaudreaux. Now this was a good dog. I've talked about Beaudreaux many times in the past cause I miss him. He was a 30,000 mile dog in "Alice" and "Sally da house" for over 5 years. He was a gold prospecting dog....dug a gram of gold out from under a greasewood bush in Golar Canyon. Rode on the top back of my driver seat or hang'n out the window for miles on end. He was epileptic so it was a very sad day when I lost him at 7 tears old.
Mikey says..."leave me alone, can't you see I'm tired"??? This was Beaudreaux's favorite buddy at the time. This cat was big....right bout 12 pounds soak'n wet....what he didn't like the wet part. Stolen from San Antonio, Texas in 2002 for his first trip to California. Poor little feller got in a fight with a "gang" cat in Atlanta, Georgia and died 9 months later from infection turned deadly. He could mark a bush 4 foots tall. Boy howdy.
"Come on Beaudreaux, wake up, it's play time"
"What the hell is this cold white stuff"????
"I'm such a stud".
Nap time......

Ok...that's it for tonight. Hard to find a few pics out of a couple thousand.

But before I shut this thing down, I want to swell a head. I done been "on the road again" for over 9 years and have met over a thousand other campers. But never have I net one like Karen....and of course her husband Steve. Now these folks are almost full fledged yankees but you would never know it by their actions. Absolutely a super wonderful couple...boy howdy I mean to tell ya. Thank you so much Karen for the donuts and books and the time around the campfire. Would camp with ya any ol' day. You can get to their blog over there on the right...or...you can clicky...here

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Texas Hold 'em

Got up early this morn'n wonder'n what I were gonna do for the rest of the day. Spent my 2 hours, or more, read'n a few blogs and the news. Stocks were up so that put a smile on my face. Another few more years and I might just be a multi thousandaire.

Had my morning chat with old uncle Ben even before I had my first cup of coffee. I think the guy is stalk'n me. It's so late in the evening/night that I don't even remember what we talked about. Nonsense I'm sure.

Decided to take a run to town for 5 gallons of coffee water and drop off a couple bags of trash. Had it in my mind to pick up some ice cream but that didn't work out. Ya see, I went in this Mexican grocery store what I ain't never been in. I looks around and half their refrigerated cases was not work'n. So, no ice cream. Now the other store has super cold ice cream....two brands. One is good and the other is not so good....in fact, it sucks. But the flavor I had my heart set on was no where to be found. So I decided I would go plat a little Texas hold'em poker on the way home. What I did.

Ya see, it's like this....theres a bunch of old junk travel trailers with a big patio in the middle of it. They call it the Oasis Club. What ever. Anyhows I stood on the sidelines for a spell. Wait'n for an empty chair. And boy howdy was that chair ever cold. All I did was warm a chair and toss a few chips in the middle of the table. Never won a dime. In fact, I never had a hand worth play'n. Next time I'm gonna win all the chips, take my winnings, go to town and buy me some ice cream.

Did I ever tell ya bout the time.....I figgered out a system to beat the odds at blackjack. Simple system. Just takes balls to do it. Spent a couple months fine tun'n the system and then on my way back from Georgia I stopped off at a casino in Mississippi. Set myself down at a blackjack table and started cuss'n right off the bat. Out loud too. Anyhows, I don't know if the system works of not....they throwed me slap out. Special escort. Two big ol' boys bout 3 times my size. Wouldn't even let me play the slots on the way to the door. 

Had another nice campfire tonight. But damn, that old Tennessee Ken is so full of poop. My god some of his stories. I think everyone know he's just blow'n smoke. Tells the same story over and over....different every time. I know!!!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

What can I say???

Boy howdy, been a while huh?

I was sit'n there on the couch read'n a book and eat'n peanut butter with a spoon and got to think'n bout my old grand pappy. He used to take a couple table spoons of peanut butter, mix it in a glass of water and drink it down. But, I wasn't think'n bout the concoction, I was think'n bout why. So I googled it with no results other than a hangover remedy. Well grandpa didn't drink alcoholic beverages. But he did have a red headed girlfriend. Just think'n.

Lot's of people been pulling out of the slabs headed back to where ever they came from. Old Billy Bob will be pulling out here in a couple three weeks. Back to Deming. Well that thought got me to think'n. Why do I stay in Deming? I can afford to stay most anywhere I want, but I always go back to Deming. Is it because it's so cheap? ($125 plus electric...$62.50 while I'm gone)

Health issues ain't get'n no better. Just the other night I woke up at 2am wheez'n and snort'n try'n to get a breath. Was this it? Got up, fired up a smoke, coughed for 10 minutes and all was fine after that. That tells me one thing. Smok'n is good for ya.