Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Scratch scratch scratch....dad gum chiggers

I don't see nuttin to write bout this morn'n but these dad gum chigger bites. It's been a few years since I got in a batch of chiggers an' I don't have no idea how I did it this time......but, I did. What surprises me is that I don't have nary a one bite below my knees. They all on my thighs from the knees up to my whatsadoolies.

First night I says...."strip down an' bug spray them suckers before ya shower". And that what I did. But I was already covered with bout a dozen itch'n bites. But anyhows, I spray that bug killer too high. Set my sak slap on fire. Boy howdy that was uncomfortable. I'm think'n I kilt all them little bastards 'cause I ain't got no new bites. But the ones I got....MY GOD!!!!

Then last night them bites was so bad I had to do something. Doctor Billy Bob to the rescue. I looks in the medicine shelf an' I ain't got nuttin but alcohol, peroxide, hydrocortisone, maximum strength Ambosol an, some mouthwarsh. I strip down to my underdrawers an' apply each. This morn'n I have a little relief.

But as I was apply'n all that stuff, I see this little spider crawl'n up my leg. I knock hell out that spider. Then I got to think'n, "do spiders bite"? Think'n this 'cause chiggers usually bite hell out your ankles an' lower legs. Anyhows, I will live through this episode of "beat hell out the old Billy Bob".

Them two jobs that was so necessary to do yesterday are on todays list of "things to do today". What's one more day??? But......

I grabs holt to my medication containers last night. I'm gonna fill my pill dispenser thingy. What the hell, I'm out of meds. Only got two of each. This means a trip to Walmart, either today or tomorrow. Any bets on which day???   

Holy cows!! I had me a case of sciatica last night. Hurt'n pains run'n down my right leg all the ways to my big toe. I ain't had this happen in quite some time. I take me up a aspirin an' get my ass off'n the couch...."that couch". Then.....it was 4:30 this morn'n an' I got me some them dad gum leg cramps. Regular ones what make ya stand on yer toes. That's been a while too. I'll be sooo glad when all this doctor stuff is behind me. Go fish'n in the "bubba boat". Go golf'n. Do a little walk'n. Maybe another "billy bike".

Ok, I got to get this day underway. Been talk'n too much. See ya laters.

Grrrrrrrrr.....just for fun.
Got laundry warsh'n an' the damn "billy jeep" won't start.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Yesterday I did nuttin....absolutely nuttin

Another day is behind me. I did exactly what I said I was gonna do....nuttin. An' while I was do'n that tedious job, my mind filled with all kinds of thoughts. One was "who the hell is Billy Bob"?

Well let me tell ya who Billy Bob is. He's the guy that lived his childhood in somebody elses house. He's the guy that had no parents to guide him to a adulthood life. He lived on the streets up to the age of 20 with an' occasional assist from his Aunt Myrt an' Uncle Luke. I would have made a perfect orphan boy.

I was called "Billy" up till the day I joined the Navy. They legally changed my name to a simple "Bill", William or just my last name. The government does that ya know. Later in life I was knowed as "Uncle Bill", not only to nephews an' neices, but to inlaws an' even the local beer establishments where I did my damnest to dance with all the young wimmins.....hoochi coochie girls. It was a hard life.

When I went to work for the University of Texas, I was still knowed as just "Bill". I didn't like that. My name is Billy. A boat captain from the university, a Wisconsin redneck, started call'n me Billy Bob, an' that name fit me just fine. It fit my lifestyle....a redneck.

When I moved aboard my sail'n boat, I changed my name to "Barnacle Bill". That lasted for 7 years when I went back to Billy Bob. 

Speak'n of redneck. Rednecks keep everthing ya know. Little used nuts an' bolts, screws, pieces of wood, chunks of aluminum an' steel....broke stuff that will never see life again. While at the university I had drawers an' shelves full of "stuff". The rest of the maintenance crew would ask me...."hey Billy Bob, ya got one of these"? Most time I did. In my RV "Sally da house" basement, I have such a collection today. Stuff that may someday be of some use to me. After I fix it that is.

Let's change the subject. That one is too boring with out spices (details). I like spices ya know.

I was still wide awake at 4am this morn'n. The old mind go'n a hunnert mile a hour think'n bout "crap". I don't know how everbody else thinks, but I'm think'n my life as a adventurous rambunctious little boy is slap over. But then, this is today.....tomorrow is a new day. But seriously.......?

I sat on "that couch" last night. Well, not really sit on it, I lay my ass down for a hour nap. That was a big mistake. When I got back up, I feeled like that neighbor done run slap over me with his bulldozer. It was that bad. Robert should be pick'n up the new foam rubber today. What's the old say'n....third time's a charm???

I got freak'n chiggers. That trip to Alabama, them suckers jump on me think'n they was gonna have a feast. An' a feast they have. Ok, here we go....Google is yer best friend. I googled chiggers. Look'n for a way to stop all this itch'n I got. Did ya know, chiggers, spiders an' ticks are of the same family? Anyhows, hydrocortisone is all I got. It don't help very much.

Speak'n of buy'n property, I ain't think'n of a final rest'n place to put "Sally da house" up on blocks an' never go nowheres again. It's Robert that is look'n at property with enough space for his daddy to have a "homebase" to visit from time to time. Nuttin permanent.

Did I mention the pot of beef stew soup I made yesterday. One bowl an' I'm done with that stuff. To the bushes it goes. Maybe the cats will eat it. "Billy Bob, don't buy no more generic stuff". Yuk!!!

Ok, I got a couple things that must be done today to have a successful day. Where the hell are my shoes???         

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Downhill continues.....ouch

I had a doctor tell me one time..."Mr. Piep, you know too much about back issues". That was way before Google. Now, in 2014, with the help of Google, guess what? I know all bout the doctors that will be see'n me. I know their bedside manners, what they eat for breakfast, what kind of car they drive....I know everthing.

Then I got on Google an' learn how to read a MRI. That took a while. But with my MRI, the damage is obvious. Even a 6th grader can see that. I posted only one MRI image. I have bout 20 of 'em. An' some are worster than the one I posted. I have Mr. Arthur I Tiss of the spine. Along with the rusted out disks. I know tooo much bout back issues.

I been keep'n track of my down hill battle for the last couple months. It ain't git'n no better. People what seen me in person just 6 months ago would never recognize me today. I can't find anything to be "happy" bout or anything to be excitis bout. This really sucks.

Me an' Robert took a trip to Alabama yesterday to take a look see at a piece of lake front property. We drove mile after mile of wind'n country roads. The lake came into view. We're close. The seller guy says...."turn here, turn there, it's up on top that hill". "Sally da house" would never climb that steep rutted gravel road. As we approach the property, I'm think'n West Virginia....this sucks. The property has West Virginia wrote all over it....an' ya know, the old Billy Bob don't like West Virginia nary a bit.

Back at "da house", I takes me up a couple aspirin, sit back in my easy chair an' relax a bit. Outside a "spud gun from hell" awaits me. Very little was accomplished....but what was, looks absolutely awesome. Do you how much a ten pound bag of taters cost in Georgia? My god, almost $5. 

Today I will sit back, watch some golf on TV an' take it easy. 

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Couches an' spud guns....good combination

Ha ha "Goldilocks and the three bears". Now that was funny. *a comment from yestarday*

I sit on that "damn couch" last night. An' let me tell ya right now, I didn't sit on it very long. Grrrrrrrrrr....that sucker is way too hard. Shoot I could build me a couch out of old oak pallets an' be just as good.

Now is the time ya got to understand something bout the old Billy Bob. No matter how many times  attempts to fix something, if'n it don't work, or I don't like it, I'm gonna fix it again. Even though it could easily be replaced with a brand spank'n new one. Yes Robert will be pick'n up another piece of foam rubber next week. I'm gonna get this thing right if'n it's the last thing I do.

Then I can sit back like the little bear did an' say...."this couch is just right".

I sure have been creat'n some turmoil around the house. Grandkids say I'm too grouchy....say'n stuff I ain't aughter. How the hell do ya spell aughter? Hell, I don't mean to be grouchy an' say stuff, but shoot, when ya hurt, your brain malfunctions. When your brain malfunctions, you ain't the same guy ya was last week. Anyways, if'n any my grankids are read'n this, I'm sorry an' will try to be a good "papaw". Shoot, I'll even brew ya up a pot of "girlie" coffee". "Billy Bob, 7 year olds do not drink coffee". Anybody else offended by me say'n something off course....I'm sorry to you too.

Mack says...."papaw, can we shoot the spud gun"? I says to him, "well shoot, lets go work on it first". We look at stuff an', my god, we got a lot of work to do before we can shoot this thing. I learned Mack something ya don't learn in school....how to draw a straight line down the side of a piece of pipe. Then he drill a bunch of holes in that pipe. This is the "fake" barrel cooler thingy. Then he paints it gloss black.

We begin work on the back grip an' trigger. Ha, I screw up an' have to start all over. This will work. Mack says..."where are we gonna put these long wires papaw"? I don't know I says. "Inside the handle papaw, nobody ever see 'em". This boy is learn'n. Then it got too dark to see outside.

Mack decided HE will paint the entire spud gun gloss black. That's the only color we have an' he wants to paint. He also wants to shoot a russet tater a hunnert yards. Damn, I can hardly wait.

Did I lift too much heavy stuff yesterday? Couch seat part bout 40 pound. This morn'n I got me a pain back there that just won't go away. Like a 16 penny nail in there. Dr. Bayer is work'n on it as we speak. An' I got me that ice pack back there too.

Got a pile of papers in the mail for my first appointment. I look 'em over an' all they gonna do is draw a gallon blood out me for test'n. I hate needles. Then I got to talk to a doctor. First appointment should be a breeze. But it still stresses me out just think'n bout that great big needle they gonna stab me with. Damn I hate needles.

See what I'm talk'n bout???


Friday, August 15, 2014

Couch update....Too much feet time....damn I hurts

Well, I rekon I done said too much again. Or could it a been the ways I say some things? I ain't perfect ya know. Ha...neither was George Foreman.

Whooooeee, I done mess up again. Actually in more ways than one. I worked too hard yesterday. Well, it wasn't really "hard", but it was way too much feet time. You knows me pretty good by now, an' you know I take lots of breaks....sit my ass down sip'n up on a good cup of coffee. Well, I didn't do that yesterday. I stayed on my feet work'n on that dad gum foam rubber replacement in the couch. Now I ain't say I didn't take a couple breaks....you know me better than that....Billy Bob is gonna take breaks.
Last night I couldn't get comfortable for 4 or 5 hours of restful sleep.....hurt an' toss an' turn all night long. This morn'n I'm dead to the world.

Then on top of that, the damn foam rubber don't fit. Ya see, when I bought this last foam rubber, I failed to measure the thickness. It's 4 1/2 inches, not 4 inches. I had also increased overall size by 1 inch. Boy howdy, it's gonna be tight. An' that's exactly what it was....it don't fit.

Another hour or so was spent on my poor old ach'n feet cut'n that foam rubber down to the correct size. Maybe it will fit now. But it's still gonna be a chore since it's over thickness. The old Billy Bob will fix that.
*pics go here*

 "Take a break Billy Bob, ya need it".

Now....where was we? Oh yeah, I was bitch'n bout all thse tests an' stuff they got me lined up to do. I got to think'n bout that stuff. When they find something wrong, they can fix it, right? Well I know a lot of stuff what ain't right an' get'n it fixed sure would ease my mind. This could result in more time spent in Georgia. There's a possibility I may be in the market for a big ol' propane tank so's I don't freeze to death this winter. They don't deliver propane for motorhomes. They have a minimum delivery an' "Sally da house" don't meet that minimum.

Ok, that's it for another day. Gonna go outside an' "try" to put that couch seat back together. Along with bout a hunnert breaks.

Couch update:
It don't look that pretty, but that sucker is back in "da house" all bolted down.
Now you talk bout sit'n on a stump...I sit on that thing an' "Holy Crap...this is stiff like a log"
 I don't like it. But I'll be damn if'n I'm gonna go through that again. I'll get used to it.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

I feeeel good.....well, close to good

I deleted the shit I writed up here so's no hard feel'ns. 

So....on with today............what ever it may be.

Speak'n of today, yesterday was a pretty good day at my house. Some pains in the lower back an' right hip, but a few aspirin an' a ice pack relieved that. My mind was straight most of the day, not think'n on all that negative shit what's been go'n on in there.

Had a very good visit from "yo mama"....drink'n coffee an' shoot'n the bull. Discuss'n the finer things of life an' how we got to where we are today. Dang, how did I manage this?

Robert showed up later in the afternoon. Gonna build "yo mama" a ramp. She just had foot surgery ya know, an' shortly she gonna have a knee replacement. I assisted Robert with the supervision of the project. He's a good boy....listens to his daddy.
*pic go here*

I also had Robert remove the broke down couch seat section so's I'll have something to work on today.
*beginning pics go here*

Ya see, I cain't sit on my couch. Even after all the work we did in replacing the "old" foam rubber.....with junk. The "new" foam rubber awaits me out there in the garage. 1.8 density 54 pounds support. Note: Most storebought couches has 33 pound support. That gonna be like sit'n on a old tree stump out in the pasture. Should be perfect.
For me, this is a project. For Robert, it's a "fix it" chore.

I went to bed a hour early last night with "git'n up early" in mind. My right hip hurted a bit. So's, I let some air out the mattress. Just enough to relieve the pain. It worked. Got up this morn'n in the least pain I had in weeks. Shoot, I didn't bump into nuttin go'n down the hallway to the coffee pot this morn'n.

I sure have been want'n to go play a round of golf. I don't care if I hit them out in the trees, in the lake, or down over a steep hill, I got me more golf'n balls. Had to hit out of water one time. Ask the OFM Barney, he'll tell ya. Landed right on the green pretty close to the hole. Have I ever hit a hole in one? Hell no, I cain't hit a ball that far. Dang I love golf ball swak'n. Hope to be back to it in the near future.

Ok, that's bout all the subjects I gonna touch on today. Maybe.....

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Short post....Yeah right

Dang....Grrrrrrrr an' all that stuff.

Today's post was gonna be extra short....an' hopefully it still will be. I'm tired bout writ'n bout all this crap go'n on. But then again, this crap is part of my "adventurous" life. Everbody wants to read bout my adventures.....right?

In short, yesterday was not a adventure. In fack, I was highly pissed. Poor little girl was only do'n her job. Me, not know'n much bout get's surgery an' that kind of stuff, had no idea all this "new" stuff has to be done before I can "git fixed".  "Git fixed"???? That's just a maybe situation. I almost throwed in the towel right then an' there. I can be pessimistic if'n I want to. Thanks to Google, I am more pessimistic than I was at the start. There's some things that a laminectomy does not take care of. Mainly "back pains". Some relief, if all goes well, but will still experience back pains.

Now, bout all these damn tests I got to take. I'm think'n I realize the "whys" of 'em, but I'm also think'n there ain't no way I'm gonna pass 'em. Lets take a look at one of them that is gonna git a flat out "F". My breathing. Shoot, I cain't even walk to the "billy jeep" without get'n winded. I puff little cigars an' cough up a storm. I have to work really hard to get a full breath. That's COPD ya know, or as Dr Fronkinsteen said, emphysema. What the hell does he know, he's a cardiologist, not a freak'n lung specialist. But....I agree with him.

Then there's the "no energy" factor I have. I don't walk ya know or get any physical exercise. Now let me 'splain that one to ya. When I try to do any walk'n, or exercises, my freak'n back an' legs hurt something terrible. Would YOU walk if'n it hurt ya like that? It's not a "ya gotta walk to feel better" situation. I cain't walk. Period. Well, maybe I could on a golf ball swak'n course try'n to whooop the OFM Barney.

Then bout my heart condition. Shoot, it works just fine. Or I suppose it does. Blood pressure is OK, blood oxygen level is just fine, ain't got no chest pains....shoot, I feel fine. But, I had decided this was the year to have Dr Fronkerstune to give me that stress test he's been whinn'n bout for the last 3 or 4 years. So, no complaints for a stress test in Georgia before surgery. Should be able to also get my prescriptions renewed. Maybe even changed.

Now I got to have a complete physical by a general practice doctor. Now how in God's name am I gonna pass something like that? I'm 72 year old. Old people ain't anywheres near as physical as young kids. Well, let me take that back. Kids now days just sit on their ass text'n, play'n games an' stuff like that.

I'm think'n I'll do just fine on everthing except for the lung thing. I'm go'n with it....first appointment on 8/27/14 an' the last on 9/11/14. My god, I'm gonna be wored slap out.

Ha....got me another little project. Ya see, I need to "git off my ass" an' do something. I got a Walmart special cabinet that I'm gonna rework....modify.

Ain't gonna tell ya what I'm gonna do, but when it's finished, you can bet a dollar there will be some photos. Before, during an' after. Damn, I can hardly wait. I love projects.

Ok, I wrote too much. Yesterdays comments were perfect....'cept'n for one. In case ya think I don't read comments, I hope ya didn't bet a whole lot. I try my best to answer, but sometimes I'm lost for words. Hang in there.