Wednesday, April 16, 2014

A new day has arrived....a good 'un

Holy smokes......I don't believe it.

Because I was totally bored with TV programming last night, I went to bed early. And I went slap to sleep. Weren't none that toss'n an' turn'n I get every other night, I was sound asleep, off in another world. I thought that was rather cool.

Well it was cool up until I got cold somewheres bout 4 am or somewheres round there. "Where the hell is my blankie"? But what was really cool, when I got up this morn'n, my back feel like a hunnert dollar bill (.20 to .30 cent worth). But it was cold in "da house". Turned me on some heat. My god, my Walmart special temp thingy says it got down to 34. There ain't no way that can be right. I'm think'n I need a new Walmart special temp thingy.

Ok, enough bout the weather. "What ya gonna do today Billy Bob"? Well I suppose I'll run up to the golf ball swak'n place an' hit me a few golf'n balls. That's always excit'n. Gonna use a brand new swing technique today as I attempt to get my ball on the green in 3 or 4 strokes. Then I can putt that sucker bout 3 or 4 times into that little hole. That's the way ya play golf.

Made that trip to Walmart yesterday. All I did was pick up my meds an' then go back home. Frank says...."I smell antifreeze". I says...."I smell it too". Dang I hate crawl'n up under the "billy jeep". Thermostat needs changed ASAP. But I ain't gonna do it today.

Look'n at my "to do" list. Dang, I got lots of stuff to do. Some the stuff I did a week ago needs done again. That is not progress.

Ok, I'm out of here. Wish me a successful day at the golf course. Maybe I'll beat the OFM Barney today. Fat chance of that happening. These young kids just hit a golf ball toooo far.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

I like....do'n nuttin

Ok, I know it's late to be start'n a blog post, but what the hell, it's got to be done.
"Now what ya gonna write bout Billy Bob"?

After yesterdays be'n bended over most the day, I was expect'n to be in bad shape again this morn'n. I got up an' I was straight as a stik....a 2x4. An' speak'n of yesterday, that dad gum cold front was just that, a cold front. Now accord'n to my Walmart special themp thingy, it got down to 37 degs last night. I just looked at it an' that what it says. That folks is cold for tropical south Texas.

Today was supposed to be cloudy an' rain by the bucket full. Well it ain't. Sun is shin'n in my winders, there ain't no wind an' there ain't a cloud in sight. Stupit weatherman don't "no nuttin". Hmmmmm, wonder what tomorrow will be like....golf ball swak'n anybody?

Speak'n of golf ball swak'n.....I like golf. It's just like any other sport ya might have a like'n for....ya get all excitis just think'n bout it. Not everbody likes golf though. An' they don't like to read bout it. But I do, an' this is "my" blog, so I write bout it.  In fact, I remember one time me an' old "pesky neighbor" Wayne showed up at the golf course with snow on the ground. It was cold too. We both scored in the low 90's an' only lost bout 3 balls a piece (little white balls an' white snow). Went golf'n with two my sons over in Georgia during a rain an' lightning storm. Well, it didn't happen until bout the 8th hole. Spent bout a hour at the club house wait'n for the rains to pass. Then we went back out an' finished the round. Another time me an' my son Jesse went golf'n up on some mountain (Tally Mountain). It was 40 degs or less when we got there. Ice everwheres. Yet we played 18 holes. Yes I like golf'n. An' I'll play as long as my body will let me. I might even go fish'n in the "bubba boat" if'n I want.

My hopes are that in the very near future I will be writ'n bout "go'n down the road a piece"...see'n trees an' stuff. Alligators bask'n in the sun. Racoons steal'n stuff off my picnic table. Cook'n hot dogs, an' catch'n T-bone steaks on fire on my Weber grill. Boy howdy do I ever miss that. In the mean time, just hang on to yer hat an' listen what I have to say bout "do'n nuttin". Do'n nuttin ain't really all that bad. It's much better than dig'n a freak'n ditch or something like that. That's work, an' I don't like work.

Oh yeah, before I forget....I got me a new project. I'm gonna remove the kitchen table what I use for my comput'n stuff an' replace it with a long homemade table that reaches all the way from the refrigerator to the entrance door (bout 6 foots x 2 foots). Build me a homemade cabinet to replace the Walmart special POJ (piece of junk) one I use now. I like work'n with wood.   

Boy howdy, that boy of mine sure do make my day. I don't like to choose a #1 son, but I got me one that fits that category to a tee, my oldest. I love my Robert. Now go find my dad gum golf ball over there in the woods.

It's Walmart time. What meds I thought I was low on is gone....poooof, just like that. I ain't got none. Ha....I just called Walmart an' they be ready in 2 hours. But then, I remember the last time I called in...they weren't ready. Hope they don't make me "cuss an' swear" again when I go there to pick 'em up.

Hired nephew Frank to do my laundry. He needs the money an' I need to mark it off my list. Last time he done 'em for me, he did a perfect job. Much better than I do. He folded them.

I really ain't got nuttin to talk bout today, other than I feel pretty darn good.....consider'n. See ya tomorrow.

Monday, April 14, 2014

I was excitis I betcha a dollar

Am I gonna write bout food again this morn'n? Probly not......but, I do like eat'n food.

Now.....let me tell ya bout get'n all excitis.
"Be careful Billy Bob what ya say".
Yesterday morn'n me an' OFM Barney had us a tee time at the local golf course. We were both there on time with smil'n faces. After I hit a few golf'n balls, I began to feel pretty good. No pains an' I was excitis as hell......it's a good day. By the time we reached hole #9, my score sucked.....hit'n balls like a girl. But I was still excitis. That don't happen very often. The back 9 was a bit better than the front, I was hit'n 'em straight an' true. Ended the round with a decent 93, even with a hunnert mile a hour wind blow'n an' a terrible score on the front 9. 

A quick decision was made for where we would eat our normal "after game" meal. In Sinton, Texas, there ain't many choices. We chose Dairy Queen. It was so so. Then we sit there an' talk for bout a hour. "No...I don't know when I'm gonna leave". "No....I don't know what I want to do". "Yes....I still think bout my dream". Stuff like that....we had a great conversation.

This morn'n I got up barely able to make it to the bathroom. I'm all bend over again this morn'n, an' "damn, I got to pee". Other than that, it's just another day.

Oh wait.....remember yesterday I said it was gonna be cold here (in the 40's early morn'n)? Ha....screw the weatherman. Before bed time it was so hot in "da house" (78 degs 85% humidity) I attempted to turn the bedroom AC on. Nope, the damn thing just sit there hummmm'n up a tune. The fan motor don't start. Wasn't it bout a year or so ago I said I was gonna fix that? Well, maybe it's now time.

That sucker is almost brand new, why is the fan motor not starting? When I say brand new I ain't talk'n like I bought it last week or nuttin like that. It's 9 years old go'n on 10, but I ain't got but bout two months run time on it. That motor should start right up. "Didn't you used to be a AC expert a few years back Billy Bob"?

Ok, lets see what happen when ya head to the RV repair place for a reasonable cost. The guy turns the AC on. The fan don't run. "Ya need a new motor". Then he looks in a book. "The AC is obsolete, ya need a new AC". They do the same thing when ya got a battery what needs a charge. "Ya need a new battery".
I know what that fan motor needs, an' it ain't replaced. Climb up there on the roof, take the cover off an' "oil" the motor bearings.But not today.

Oh damn, I'm bout out of meds again. That means a trip to Walmart, where I always spend a hunnert dollar or more for stuff I don't need...or even want. I've found that the older I get, the less I want. That should be a good sign. But I still pull a hunnert dollar bill out my wallet every time I go through the check out. New golf'n balls? Well yeah, ya cain't play golf with dirty balls. Figger that one out.

The news? Damn I get all piss off when I read the news. Throw'n rocks, bicker'n an' bite'n, call'n each other names......nuttin good gets done. Grrrrrrrrr. I'm think'n there needs to be some changes made 'cause this ain't work'n. Don't think this is a political thing. It's a American thing. No comments please.

Ok, I got a few things I need to do today. "Sally da house" needs some attention. Oh crap, I can take warsh'n "da house" off the list.....rain start'n up. Oh man....high winds pick'n up. An' they kind of cool.....cold front? Yup, that what it are. "Now what ya gonna do Billy Bob"?

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Mashed taters for breakfast????

This morn'n I'm just gonna say "have a good day an' pass the mashed taters".

Speak'n of mashed taters, many many years ago, we fried mashed taters for breakfast. Bout 4 or 6 pieces of crisp bacon, 3 or 4 eggs over easy, fresh baked biscuits.....now that's what I'm talk'n bout. Ya don't get that kind of food no more. In fact, the last mashed taters I ate, somebody was too lazy to peel 'em first. I don't do tater peels. Tater peels go in the slop bucket for the pigs. Ok Ok, somebody said tater peels was healthy, so now everbody leave the peels on an' dont give a care what they taste like.

Boy howdy, the mention of fresh baked biscuits sure do make me hungry. I used to make homemade biscuits. Many many years ago. Now I just grab a can out of the frige, pop it open an' walla, I got fresh baked biscuits.

Now we come down to the best piece of meat you can eat. Bacon!!! Everbody loves bacon. Cooked either soft or crisp, it'll make ya "oink" on every bite. Then come along, that same guy that said tater peels are good for ya. He says bacon will kill ya. Now let me see.....I ain't dead yet an' I eat bacon.

This morn'n is the beginning of yet another cold front. It's all cloudy with 89% humidity....had a little sprinkle of rain. Ain't no winds yet but the weather thingy says 17 mile a hour by noon. I can hit golf balls in them kind of winds. Tomorrow it's gonna be only 47 degs an' Tuesday it's gonna be cold all day long....67 degs. That's Brrrrrrrr weather.

Ok....I'm out of here. Ya never ever want to be late for a tee time. It just don't look good. 

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Dad gum high winds....go away

Ok,......"why the hell did I sleep so long last night". I agree that it was rather late when I went to bed (1:30am), but to sleep till 11AM?????.....there ain't no way. That just ain't right.

Now I ain't talk'n no regular toss an' turn sleep, I'm talk'n dead to this world sleep. Once I finally dozed off, that was the last thing I remember. Sadie Mae wake me up jump'n up an' down say'n "I gotta pee".

Now that reminds me of when I was a teen. I didn't have me no regular place to sleep, so's I would sneek over to my aunts house bout 2 or 3 times a week an' climb in on the couch. We didn't lock doors way back then. Then I would sleep for bout 10 hours before I started my new excit'n adventurous day....at bout noon time. Got to let the "rest of the story" go.....too many bad thoughts come to mind.

The weather has been pretty good down here in south Texas. That is if'n ya don't mind a few high winds blow'n all day long. Day time temps have been bounc'n round in the low 70's to high 80's....which is great temps for swak'n golf balls an' stuff like that. Yesterday I did just that. Went out in the yard an' did me some practice with a sand wedge.....minus the sand. Wonder if'n I can hit 'em that good at the golf course....???? "Barney, where you at....watch this"?

Boy howdy, did I have some stuff in the old POS "that jeep". Throwed most of it in the dumpster  (three Walmart bags), but I want ya lookie here.....I been look'n for that little 7.2 volt battery for over two years (battery for the remote control on the Mississippi river boat). Now if'n ya know anything bout boats, ya know they got to have ballast in the bottom so's it don't turn over. We talk'n real boats here, not the little $30,000 bass fish'n boats. A few hunnert years ago they used rocks for ballast. Then somebody figger out that lead was heavier than rocks. That's what the recently found battery is for....ballast to keep the Mississippi river boat on a even keel. Hmmmmmm, I need to do some work on that boat. Speak'n of ballast, my Formosa sail'n boat had 9,000 pounds hang'n off the bottom.

Ok....I climbed up under the "billy jeep" again yesterday. Just to verify where I thought that water leak was at. Yup, there it is, right where I thought. Auto parts store is on the agenda for a new thermostat an' a new gasket. "Will somebody please help me up off'n the ground"???

I'm done. Cain't think of nuttin else to write about. Laters....

Friday, April 11, 2014

My battery is dead

"Ha ha Billy Bob, ya really screwed up yesterday by mentioning golf". I'm begin'n to think that just the mention of golf turns into a game of "don't read Billy Bob's blog today".

Had a long talk with my son Robert this morn'n. Boy howdy did he let me know a thing or two. Ya see, I was worried that I would be out of place camp'n at "Yo Mama's RV Resort". Be a "old fart" burden on all the younger folks...stuff like that. But I'll call "Yo Mama" today an' verify it's Ok to camp in her yard or if'n I'm just suck'n buttermilk through a straw.

As much as I hate the IRS, today I will attempt to "git 'er done". Cain't think of nuttin more to say bout that. Now.....what the hell is my user name an' password for TaxAct? Ha....found it.

This morn'n I am in a "no start" situation. I turn the key to start an' there ain't nuttin there. My battery is dead (cain't think), I got a flat tire (back pain) an' I have a sour disposition (grumpy as hell). So I'll say no more at this time in hopes that I'll feel better after while. Then I might tell ya a story.

Well shoot, I should have knowed it, my blog did not update again this morn'n.

This is the second try....on IE. 

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Splish splash....golf balls in da water

I was sit'n here an' got to think'n....."damn it Billy Bob, ya hit two balls in da water". For the rules of "quick play", I marked down a 6 for a par 3....an' moved on to the next hole. Then I took my trusty 3 wood an' I'm gonna hit that ball 200 yards right down the fairway. A 75 yard walk an' I hit that ball again. Over there in the high grass rough. "No Billy Bob, that was a simple 3 foot putt...an' you missed it". Ya see what I'm get'n at here don't ya... I suck at golf ball swak'n.

But, not only did I have a wonderful time out there, I only cuss bout 14 or so times. That's not a record low number, but it's get'n closer to "no cuss'n". You would love play'n golf with the old Billy Bob. If for nuttin else, it would be for the laughs.

After that disgusting round of golf, me an' the OFM Barney heads to our usual Mexican food eat'um up place. I was hungry an' in need of a alka seltzer. Ok, we get us a waiter what don't speak the first word of English. I'm tell'n him I need a small empty glass so's I can take my alka seltzer....an' I order a "numero tres" for my choice of dinner at the same time. That confused him......Grrrrrrrr. He brings green instead of red salsa. The dinner was awesome...as usual.

Back at "da house", I had to take a couple aspirin an' lay down for a bit. Checked my feet....no swell'n. That was good news. Although they were sore. Maybe my new sandals don't fit right. Or maybe I'm at that point where I will be barefooted for the rest my life. Feet don't hurt barefooted.

Now that reminds me the time....I was just a 6 year old....rambunctious little heathern kid. I didn't wear no shoes. Run a hunnert mile a hour through the briar bushes an' sticker burrs. Them briar bushes was my hide out ya know. The older boys was always chas'n me to throw me in the creek or in with the pigs....beat me up, stuff like that. As long as I was within hear'n distance, all I had to do was holler "MOMS" an' she came to my rescue. But this day, I was alone with that old ugly dog out in the corn field. I was play'n Indian, throw'n corn stalk spears.....here come them big boys sneek'n up on me. Off to the briar bushes I go....a hunnert mile a hour ya know. There's snakes an' spiders in there, accord'n to the big boys, but I weren't skeered no snakes an' spiders. Well, if'n a spider get on me today, that skeer the hell out me. I spend the rest of the afternoon in them briar bushes.....holler'n "MOMS" at the top my lungs. Dang I miss them old days.

Nothing to say bout the Georgia trip today. My mind is eat up with "when ya gonna do your taxes Billy Bob"? I've got mine simplified down to one them E-file sites on the internet. All I have to do is input a few numbers, push a button, an' it's done.....till next year. Ok....where the hell is the numbers??? Grrrrrrr.....IRS sucks.