back seat driv'n

There comes a time in every mans life when he has to "git in da back seat" and let someone else take the wheel. Today is one of those days. It's not that I don't know how to drive....
sheesh, who would ever think that?

There ain't a cloud in the sky, sunshine and beautiful, but it's been a "black cloud" day for old Billy Bob, hang'n right over his head. Let me 'splain what I'm talk'n bout.

It all started early this morning when I stepped on a double freak'n A battery. That's the one I throwed on the floor last night 'cause it were dead. You might be ask'n yourself, "now why would Billy Bob be throw'n a AA battery on the floor"? Well, it's like this....I knowed I would be walk'n down the hall this morning to make me some coffee and see it lay'n there on the floor, pick it up and toss it in the trash. Simple, but I don't see very well in the dark.
Upon stepp'n on that AA battery....what hurt like hell, losing all sense of balance, I fell off to the left , knock'n coffee pot, my CoffeeMate and a canister of sugar to the floor....right next to that GD dead AA battery. Still in an unbalanced stupor, I fell over the trash can trying to regain my footing in all that sugar and stuff. Then I turned on the light.....holy cows Billy Bob, now look what ya went an' done.

Then.... me and my golf'n buddy Ron showed up at the golf course. He says, "what the hell happened to you"? I had CoffeeMate in my hair, CoffeeMate on my pants and a big "thump'n" right there on my forehead. But then...."here comes Jones"... I fell slap out the cart on a hard left turn and Ron run slap over my favorite golf'n foot.

Then.... back at "da house", I commenced to clean up the mess I made earlier. Apparently that "thump'n" on the head dulled my senses....fell plumb out the door when my feet got hung up in the dog ropes. And I did all this before the first stroke of noon. Boy howdy, Billy Bob, you need to lay down.

So I decided to take the rest of the day off and let "someone else drive".