On a roll

Hot damn, the old Billy Bob is on a roll this morn'n. Yeee har!!! Remember them dishes what been soak'n for a few days? Well, they ain't soak'n no more. I warshed 'em all sparkl'n clean an' they drip dry'n on the sink counter. Went through a years supply of old mail, keep'n only the important stuff. Got a couple bags of trash ready for the fire pit (burn barrel). Pick up all them boxes what was lay'n on the floor. Get'n ready to sweep and mop the floor. Now we got a problem....I ain't got no mop. If'n you think'n the old Billy Bob is gonna get on his hands an' knees, ya better get that idea out your head right now. Last time I did that, I was hurt'n for 2 days.....laid back on the couch watch'n tv an' tak'n naps. Did I ever mention I hate housework???

When I lived on the boat, I didn't mind housework too much. I was a lot younger back then and I had wimmins to entertain. Plus, the boat had less liv'n space than what "da house" has. Plus, the boat didn't go all over the country pick'n up dirt, sand, grass clip'ns and leaves. Clean'n was a 30 minute chore if'n I really got with it. Now that I'm older, just do'n dishes takes days. And that's really get'n with it.

Don't know for sure, but I'm think'n I may be los'n weight again. I were look'n in the mirror an' says...."my god Billy Bob, it ain't no wonder ya can't hit a golf'n ball very far". "Ya skinny"....I been hear'n that all my life. When I was taller, I weighed less than what I do now. Last time I check, I were 5 feets 8 inches an' 155 pounds. At one time I were 5 foot 10 1/2 inches. My favorite weight is 150 pounds. All my clothes fit at that weight and I feel better at that weight. I never did want to to be a short fat guy an' I don't rekon that will ever happen. Not the way I eat anyhows.

For some reason this morn'n I got to think'n bout my old 1927 Buick roadster. The top had been took off by a previous owner, but I woulda took it off too. It had a rubble seat. Costed me $12 in two easy payments. Probably the funnest car I ever had. Had to start it up with a hand crank if'n ya wanted the motor to run. It had a 6 volt starter on it, but I were 6 volt battery poor back then. Didn't have no brakes an' the gas tank only hold 5 gallons of gas. But back then, we couldn't afford 5 gallons all at one time. The old wooden spoke wheels would make all kind of weird sounds. But let me tell ya, that old Buick was one hell of a Jeep. Go where no cop car dare to follow. Climb mountains an' never get stuck.

Me and Gerry was out one afternoon in that Buick, spin'n tires, tear'n up the new dirt streets what some developer had laid out. Uncle's house was only a couple mile away. Out of nowheres, here come a cop car do'n a hunnert mile a hour, one little red light flash'n, sireen scream'n ....think'n he gonna catch the Billy Bob. I heads to Uncle's house. Whips into the yard, throws the transmission in reverse, gears grind'n...no brakes ya know....let fly the clutch an' them back wheels start turn'n in the other direction, dirt and rocks fly'n. That Buick comes to a grind'n halt behind a 6 foot fence....out of sight and out'a mind. For 30 minutes, the entire police force of 3 cars, patrolled the area look'n for Billy Bob, Gerry and that old 1927 Buick roadster. That were only one time of many I had cause to make myself scarce from local law enforcement. I knowed 'em all by first name.

Ok....got more housework to do......maybe.