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Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Go'n on a diet....I'm freak'n fat

A diet for a grow'n boy.

Ya see, it's like this....Billy Bob is get'n FAT. This extra fat is affecting my physical and mental health. I cain't button my britches no more by bout two inches. My belly is fill'n the area where my lungs live.....make it hard to 'breeve'. My feet hurt from carry'n around all this extra load. I suppose my gas mileage is gonna go down in "Sally da house" too. Sheesh, why did I eat that whole pack of donuts? Cookies an' shit like that? I love donuts an' shit like that. And all them freak'n super size beef hot dogs. I also love fat super size hot dogs with a big ol' glob of mayo, ketchup, mustard an' onions.

I 'member one time many years ago, I had a dumb ass doctor tell me I'm underweight. I need to go on a high calorie (did I spell that rite) diet an' gain some weight. Eat 5 times a day. Chocolate shakes with a bag of tater chips two times a day . High protein/calorie "mix in milk" stuff two times a day. One in the morn'n an' one at bed time. Well, you see what I'm get'n at, something like bout 4000-5000 calories a day. I did that for a whole month. Spend something like $300 or $400 on that crap. Go back to the doctor an' I gained one (1) freak'n measly pound. So much for the old Billy Bob gain'n weight.

After I start work'n the University of Texas (1986, I started eat'n great big ol' "fattie" breakfast tacos every morn'n. Two years later I settled in at a reasonable weight of bout 148 romp'n stomp'n pounds. Feeled good at that weight. Actually, I feeled GREAT at that weight. Held that weight for 24 years. Plus or minus a pound or two. Then all a sudden this year, my belly start get'n fat. What the hell??? I'm go'n on a freak'n diet.

My favorite time of day is the last hour (give or take) before I retire (that's go to bed an' toss an' turn for a hour or so). This is my "think'n time". It's quiet in the house, Sadie Mae is sound asleep, let's do some think'n. Last night was a exception to the rule of bout 15 to 30 minutes of think time. I spent a good two hours think'n bout that rambunctious troublesome little boy on the farm (think'n Tom an' Huck here). How I got there an' what I did for the next few years. I might just do a continuing blog post on that. Boy howdy, this gonna be fun. What ya think?

In the past, I have posted some the stuff I did as a youngster. Most either have forgot or have never seem what I posted. So we gonna do it again.....just for fun ya know.

 


9 comments:

  1. Does this mean your cutting out the Mexican food?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is Mexican food fattening? If it is, I rekon I'll stay fat.

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  2. I always love to read about your early years. I want some fat on me, but spread out more than just in the belly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There was a time I also thought I wanted to gain some weight. When I did, I felt like crap. It's best to stay at the weight you feel best at.

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  3. I would go with Barney's suggestion.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I did not suggest anything, just made a random statement of facts.

      Delete
  4. You asked, I'll answer, you spelled rite wrong.
    Mickey

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hmmm, well ya gotta do what ya gotta do, wish I could be 148 again. been a long, long time.

    ReplyDelete