Boy howdy, am I gonna survive another day? The last two days have been total hell at Billy Bob's house. "Am I gonna die or what"?
Ya see, it's like this....I don't feel worth a crap. Ain't talk'n bout my back here, we talk'n bout a overall feel'n. All the ways from the top my head (headaches) all the ways down to my toe nails (little bit of sciatica). My dad gum legs feel like jelly (the cheap shit from Walmart), I got them wooosie feel'ns (dizzy), eyes look'n different directions.....I call that "crazy eye", an' I think I got to puke (junk foods). A couple more issues, but we ain't gonna mention them this morn'n. I feel like hell!!!
As much as I try to not think bout those negative thoughts, there them suckers are. When I had my open heart surgery, I didn't have a negative thought at all. Never even thinked bout that kind of stuff. And open heart surgery is way to hell an' gone a more serious operation than a simple laminectomy (cut'n chunks of bone out yer back). This sucks.
Won't be long an' me an' Robert will be up at the doctor place fill'n out all kinds of papers for my surgery. I dread this. As mentioned earlier, what if'n Medicare don't want to pay? Will my secondary insurance cover the operation 100%? They did once before for a procedure Medicare refused to pay for.
I researched the cost for a single laminectomy in Mexico and India. India is cheaper by bout a thousand dollar. In Mexico the cost is from $6000 for a single, to $16,000 for a double. With out insurance in the US, $20,000 to $40,000. Also in Mexico and India, the success rate drops considerably. Google is your best friend.
I rekon the most fearful thing I'm think'n bout is that I can have me a heart attack. Remember what Dr. Fronkersteen tole me...."did you think you would live forever"? Accord'n to what I read, bypass surgery is temporary....not permanent. It's been go'n on to 7 years (April 2008) since that surgery. How long do I have to live?
For some strange reason yesterday, I got to think'n bout fish'n an' golf ball swak'n. Maybe things ain't as bad as I thought.
Ok, Robert showed up....got to get some shoes on an' head up the road a piece
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Update......3pm
Ok, we done the doctor place thingy, but all is not well. My next appointment will be with a cardiologist. STRESS TEST an' all the good stuff to see if'n my heart will hold up to the surgery. I'm think'n it will 'cause I never have any heart issues. That I know of anyhows.
The appointment after that is with a general practitioner (family doctor) for a physical an' all the related stuff to make sure I'm healthy enough for a surgery. A breathing test will be done. I have COPD, so don't know how that will work out.
This reminds me of when I was in school an' we had test to see if'n we graduated to the next grade. I didn't always pass all them tests. I know how healthy I feel an' "OH SHIT....this sucks".
With all this information, I'm now back to square one...."can I stand this pain the rest of my life? What changes can I make? And then, on the other side the coin...."Billy Bob, you passed all your test with fly'n colors.
Oh shit, Robert just called. I have 4 appointments with doctors for all kinds of stuff. Sheesh!!! Heart. Lungs. Blood clot.???? And a gen. pract.
Ya see, it's like this....I don't feel worth a crap. Ain't talk'n bout my back here, we talk'n bout a overall feel'n. All the ways from the top my head (headaches) all the ways down to my toe nails (little bit of sciatica). My dad gum legs feel like jelly (the cheap shit from Walmart), I got them wooosie feel'ns (dizzy), eyes look'n different directions.....I call that "crazy eye", an' I think I got to puke (junk foods). A couple more issues, but we ain't gonna mention them this morn'n. I feel like hell!!!
As much as I try to not think bout those negative thoughts, there them suckers are. When I had my open heart surgery, I didn't have a negative thought at all. Never even thinked bout that kind of stuff. And open heart surgery is way to hell an' gone a more serious operation than a simple laminectomy (cut'n chunks of bone out yer back). This sucks.
Won't be long an' me an' Robert will be up at the doctor place fill'n out all kinds of papers for my surgery. I dread this. As mentioned earlier, what if'n Medicare don't want to pay? Will my secondary insurance cover the operation 100%? They did once before for a procedure Medicare refused to pay for.
I researched the cost for a single laminectomy in Mexico and India. India is cheaper by bout a thousand dollar. In Mexico the cost is from $6000 for a single, to $16,000 for a double. With out insurance in the US, $20,000 to $40,000. Also in Mexico and India, the success rate drops considerably. Google is your best friend.
I rekon the most fearful thing I'm think'n bout is that I can have me a heart attack. Remember what Dr. Fronkersteen tole me...."did you think you would live forever"? Accord'n to what I read, bypass surgery is temporary....not permanent. It's been go'n on to 7 years (April 2008) since that surgery. How long do I have to live?
For some strange reason yesterday, I got to think'n bout fish'n an' golf ball swak'n. Maybe things ain't as bad as I thought.
Ok, Robert showed up....got to get some shoes on an' head up the road a piece
******************************************************************
Update......3pm
Ok, we done the doctor place thingy, but all is not well. My next appointment will be with a cardiologist. STRESS TEST an' all the good stuff to see if'n my heart will hold up to the surgery. I'm think'n it will 'cause I never have any heart issues. That I know of anyhows.
The appointment after that is with a general practitioner (family doctor) for a physical an' all the related stuff to make sure I'm healthy enough for a surgery. A breathing test will be done. I have COPD, so don't know how that will work out.
This reminds me of when I was in school an' we had test to see if'n we graduated to the next grade. I didn't always pass all them tests. I know how healthy I feel an' "OH SHIT....this sucks".
With all this information, I'm now back to square one...."can I stand this pain the rest of my life? What changes can I make? And then, on the other side the coin...."Billy Bob, you passed all your test with fly'n colors.
Oh shit, Robert just called. I have 4 appointments with doctors for all kinds of stuff. Sheesh!!! Heart. Lungs. Blood clot.???? And a gen. pract.
Bad case of "nerves" is all ya got. I know about them cause I am the worst in the world about getting a case of the "nerves" over things.
ReplyDeleteHa Barney, you should a see me when I raise some hell with the nice little girl at the doctor place. I were soooo stressed out I went an' ate lunch at Waffle House. Ain't never gonna do that no more.
DeleteJust think of the alternative. That should make you ready.
ReplyDeleteIt ain't that I ain't ready Trouble. After 14 years, something gotta be done. And yes, I do think bout the alternative. That sucks.
DeleteOkay, it sounds like most of the pain is related to the back problems. I have the same issues often. Dizzy eyes I didn't connect to my back but I, "out of the blue", get this quite often - now this is scarier than pain. Puking feeling; you poor thing! Yet intense pain often brings this on. Now, Billy Bob, I'm thinking the stressful thinking is contributing to the whole situation. Don't worry about the heart. You have two choices: either do or don't. Pain for life is not a happy choice.
ReplyDeleteI'm betting your insurance will cover all this for you. As the song goes: "Don't worry, Be Happy". You've already passed several hurdles and now time for you to become a new man! Rooting for you all the way, all the way up to the next winning game with Barney.
I'm right there with ya Sissy on ever thing you say. Not much else I can say right now. I
DeleteI sure do like the way you talk to me. Makes me feel like a hunnert dollar bill.
I like talking to you. A reply always makes me feel good; that way I know someone is there listening/reading/weighing.
DeleteSo, you have a few more hurdles to get through. And I hope you pass each on with flying colors - that's the ticket! You'll look back one day and realize they were worth it and not as bad as you perceived beforehand. I recall now the ungodly number of medical procedures and appointments I had to go through before surgery. See! I'd forgotten all about them. I think you may too 'in the by and by'.
Now that fishing and golf ball swak'n is good thoughts to have, keep them in your head and before you know it you be good as new.
ReplyDeleteMy best thoughts always end up on my favorite things to do. If things go right, I'll be swak'n golf balls an' catch'n fish in nuttin flat.
Deletehi B.B. i will pray for you all the way for the very best results . just like you mentioned that is surgery is a very small one compared to 2008 heart surgery . it's like removing a pimple compared to 2008 . now mr. P. i have one very serious question to ask you and i need you to answer me with only a YES or NO . do you believe that jesus christ is your lord and savior ?
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your kind thoughts Louie. You'll never know how happy you made me back in '08 when you showed up at the hospital with a chess board. Sorry I was not in shape to play.
DeleteWe'll not talk religion.....but yes.
Eventually your body gets so used to pain that it starts considering it "normal" and no longer communicates that pain to your brain. This does not mean the other things pain causes are stopped, you just no longer feel the pain the same way as you did before. It can be a dangerous situation.
ReplyDeleteI know what you're talk'n bout Croft. Many years ago I accepted the pain as "this is as good as it's gonna get". Until the last 2 to 3 years.
DeleteYour comments are a help.
Get her fixed Bill Bob, get her fixed. After it is over you will feel so much better. Remember how much you enjoy playing golf and fishing.
ReplyDeleteWell Dizzy, it ain't as easy as you seem to think it is. After this morn'n, it's much much harder.
DeleteRead my update for today....after NOT sign'n any papers.
ReplyDeleteI knew that would happen but didn't want to alarm you. However, these are good things. You will know for sure if you are a good surgical candidate. That should take care of some of your nerves. Also if you do have some problems, they will be aware of them prior to the surgery and for your recovery. That way you can be sure all angles will be cared for.
ReplyDeleteYou might as well suck it up Billy Bob and get it over with. You know you need the back surgery, and they always make you jump through hoops to see if you're healthy enough for surgery. Keep your eye on the prize - feeling good again.
ReplyDeletehi B.B. i really liked the comments that kristine barr and gypsy said today . all those test are for your own assurance and safety so do not get discouraged ,like barney said ..... the sooner the better .
ReplyDeletehi B.B. oh by the way, thanks for answering me today , i am happy to know that YES is your answer .
ReplyDeleteDon't you just love all the red tape. If the dang lawyers would leave the doctors alone, we all might get better health care.
ReplyDeleteJust remember, the doctors don't want you to die either. Life is a gamble; you could trip and break your neck getting out of that RV one day or a chunk of crap could fall down out of an airplane and hit your head. Anyway, seems you have a great son taking care of you, who seems to care a great deal; we wish we all had one of him in our lives Heed his thoughts.
ReplyDeletefrom: MiamiGal
Ahhh BillyBob.. you and Steveio are quite alike. You like to be "Men in Control" and when you find yourself at the mercy and whim of someone else, even a professional doc who has done this thousands of times, it's hard to swallow. Steve don't like putting his health in the hands of someone else either. I had to hold his hand the entire process for a few minor things for him. Ya think he was was gonna die by how worried he was!
ReplyDeleteI second Gypsy's comment. She is one smart cookie!
Could you ask your doc for some diazaparm (valium) to help take the edge of your worrying until all the tests are done? I know stress before all my multiple surgeries was really working me up in a tizzy and even taking half of one was enough to calm down and relax. Especially before bedtime.
KarenInTheWoods and Steveio
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(our Blog) RVing: The USA Is Our Big Backyard
http://kareninthewoods-kareninthewoods.blogspot.com
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Billy Bob, I read your blog daily but hardly ever speak up. I agree with others that the preliminary tests and assessments are a good thing and so far sounding pretty routine for your health history, age, etc. Two years ago I had a cancer diagnosis and was needing surgery for it. I'm in my 50s with otherwise good health but had an EKG, chest x-rays, lung capacity/breathing assessment, etc. It's just stuff one has to go through to get to the main event. Hope you'll go through with the back surgery plan if given the all clear for it. We're all here rootin' for ya!
ReplyDeleteWhen my grandmother had her 5-way bypass in 1993 the doctor said it would be good for 10 years. Well, she's still going strong. Last time they did a test to check on those bypasses was in preparation for heart valve replacement in 2008. Four out of 5 were still clear. She's still going strong with her bypasses and replacement valve and is now 94 years young. One thing she doesn't have to deal with is debilitating back pain, though. I hope you find some relief for that soon.
ReplyDeleteAll those tests are standard pre surgery. Relax and just go with the flow. Don't forget to get your heart meds from one of those MD's
ReplyDeleteSending hugs.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I might need a consulting engineer (you) on my Jeep air conditioning. That might be the real reason I want you to come out this way...
DeleteSon has to have a neurosurgeon do the one coming up, lots more to it than all the others. He will have to break the spine in 2 places, then it will straighten up. Fasten it back. i know im not saying this right, but thats how my son kinda explained it to me. Hes ready right now! The doc also found a place in his neck that will be a future one. So im with you on this too.
ReplyDelete