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Monday, August 18, 2014

Yesterday I did nuttin....absolutely nuttin

Another day is behind me. I did exactly what I said I was gonna do....nuttin. An' while I was do'n that tedious job, my mind filled with all kinds of thoughts. One was "who the hell is Billy Bob"?

Well let me tell ya who Billy Bob is. He's the guy that lived his childhood in somebody elses house. He's the guy that had no parents to guide him to a adulthood life. He lived on the streets up to the age of 20 with an' occasional assist from his Aunt Myrt an' Uncle Luke. I would have made a perfect orphan boy.

I was called "Billy" up till the day I joined the Navy. They legally changed my name to a simple "Bill", William or just my last name. The government does that ya know. Later in life I was knowed as "Uncle Bill", not only to nephews an' neices, but to inlaws an' even the local beer establishments where I did my damnest to dance with all the young wimmins.....hoochi coochie girls. It was a hard life.

When I went to work for the University of Texas, I was still knowed as just "Bill". I didn't like that. My name is Billy. A boat captain from the university, a Wisconsin redneck, started call'n me Billy Bob, an' that name fit me just fine. It fit my lifestyle....a redneck.

When I moved aboard my sail'n boat, I changed my name to "Barnacle Bill". That lasted for 7 years when I went back to Billy Bob. 

Speak'n of redneck. Rednecks keep everthing ya know. Little used nuts an' bolts, screws, pieces of wood, chunks of aluminum an' steel....broke stuff that will never see life again. While at the university I had drawers an' shelves full of "stuff". The rest of the maintenance crew would ask me...."hey Billy Bob, ya got one of these"? Most time I did. In my RV "Sally da house" basement, I have such a collection today. Stuff that may someday be of some use to me. After I fix it that is.

Let's change the subject. That one is too boring with out spices (details). I like spices ya know.


I was still wide awake at 4am this morn'n. The old mind go'n a hunnert mile a hour think'n bout "crap". I don't know how everbody else thinks, but I'm think'n my life as a adventurous rambunctious little boy is slap over. But then, this is today.....tomorrow is a new day. But seriously.......?

I sat on "that couch" last night. Well, not really sit on it, I lay my ass down for a hour nap. That was a big mistake. When I got back up, I feeled like that neighbor done run slap over me with his bulldozer. It was that bad. Robert should be pick'n up the new foam rubber today. What's the old say'n....third time's a charm???

I got freak'n chiggers. That trip to Alabama, them suckers jump on me think'n they was gonna have a feast. An' a feast they have. Ok, here we go....Google is yer best friend. I googled chiggers. Look'n for a way to stop all this itch'n I got. Did ya know, chiggers, spiders an' ticks are of the same family? Anyhows, hydrocortisone is all I got. It don't help very much.

Speak'n of buy'n property, I ain't think'n of a final rest'n place to put "Sally da house" up on blocks an' never go nowheres again. It's Robert that is look'n at property with enough space for his daddy to have a "homebase" to visit from time to time. Nuttin permanent.

Did I mention the pot of beef stew soup I made yesterday. One bowl an' I'm done with that stuff. To the bushes it goes. Maybe the cats will eat it. "Billy Bob, don't buy no more generic stuff". Yuk!!!

Ok, I got a couple things that must be done today to have a successful day. Where the hell are my shoes???         

13 comments:

  1. Find your shoes old boy and get somethin' done so's tomorrow you don't have to write about a nuttin' day! I haven't had chigger bites since I was a kid but I still remember them. For some reason even the mosquitos don't want me any more, but when I do need it I like Benadryl anti-itch cream.

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  3. Love your blog, Billy Bob. I was "attacked" by chiggers recently, and the only thing that helped me was a miraculous product called Chiggerex. Good stuff!

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  4. Wish you hadn't mentioned the chiggers! Now I itch all over my legs...and I haven't had a chigger bite since I lived in East Texas!

    Hope the new foam does the trick!

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  5. My bro B and a cousin wrestled all over a bermuda grass lawn one night, for a long time. You couldn't touch him anywhere without hitting a bite. LOLOLOL We don't have em here, but up in E TX,, man!

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  6. Chiggers: paint the spots with nail polish--clear is fine but if you can only borrow colored go for it. It stops them from breathing so they die and stop itching. Been doing this for years. That's why there's a bottle of nail polish in my first aid stuff.

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  7. You can even get nail polish in various colors and with sparkles in it. You could look like the star spangled banner!

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  8. We couldn't do without our Chiggerex. Keep several jars of it---it's a cream---on hand. It works just as well for mosquitoes as for chiggers. Next time you make a trip to Walmart, you should get some.

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  9. Boy you brought back some memories when you mentioned chiggers! The ex and I and our best friends at that time bought some property in Sugarland, Texas. We went to clear it and my God...we thought we had been attacked by invisible ants! Never had heard of those nasty things.

    The former owner of the land had a good laugh about it and recommended Deep Woods Off, worked like a charm.

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  10. Up there Paris TX,, they spray their ankles with right guard, keeps them from crawling up your legs.

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  11. Good luck with them itches, not fun.

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  12. Right Guard deodorant, Trouble? There's one I haven't heard before! We used the nail polish trick when I was a kid getting red bugs in Round Rock, TX. Haven't had any red bugs, chiggers, or fleas in some time down here on the gulf coast (knock on wood), but my grandson sure seems to attract those skeeters! It's a spray with the Deep Wood on his shoes, then wiped down with a dryer sheet on his face and neck and anything else that's exposed. Then tuck that dryer sheet in his pocket. Works like a charm, and no nasty stuff on little hands and faces that might get put into his mouth.
    Go for 3, Billy Bob - can't hurt worse, can it?

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  13. BTW thank you for clarifying that the land was for your son and not yourself. We still want to see Billy Bob in Texas :)

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