Well I'm try'n my darndest to make a serious situation as humorous as possible. Taking a homemade shrimp'n boat out to sea in extreme conditions ain't something to laugh at.
The winds had picked up shortly after leaving dock. The entire Galveston bay is whitecapped, 3 to 4 foot seas awaited us. Cold ass water was com'n over the bow, drench'n captain an' crew. That Corvair engine is purr'n like a new borned kitten. We go'n bout 5 knots against a north wind blow'n bout a hunnert mile a hour. Could'a been closer to 20 or so.
It was early afternoon an' we ain't got far to go. Bilge pump hooked up an' removing gallons of sea water. But this is the old sea Captain Billy Bob. Things like this is a normal occurrence....he ain't skeered of nuttin. With that statement out the way...."what the hell is that noise"? "Why is the boat slow'n down to 2 knots"? Land, an' a bit of safety, is a good mile or so away. We are close to the Houston ship channel, an' as I recall, ships go to Houston. It's the clutch.
Before we get into the clutch, let me 'splain something to ya. Boats don't have clutches. Not like the ones they put in cars an' trucks anyhows. But, go back an' read who builed this thing. Billy Bob, that's who. This shrimp'n boat has a clutch in it. After much modification ya know. Anyhows, the clutch don't work no more. All it do is slip an' make god awful noises.....vibrates like hell.
Back to Billy Bob an' the way he do things. There is no way, never never gonna happen, that he would take a homemade shrimp'n boat out in heavy seas without a ton of tools. That truck transmission had to be pulled to get to the now wored slap out clutch. It's get'n later in the day now ya know, not much sunlight left. Yes I got a flashlight. I ain't completely stupit ya know. A big ass hammer an' a hand full of 16 penny nails drove into the right places fix that clutch right up. Transmission is reinstalled an' we fire that sucker up. Now it's dark. An' we still got four more mile to the Texas City dike....an' safety.
The last hunnert yards are by paddle power. We run slap out of gasoline for that damn Corvair engine. Don't go say'n nuttin, I figgered 2 gallons was more than enough. A small wooden dock awaits us bout half a mile from where we supposed to be tie'n up. The boat ramp an' "yo mama" with the truck an' trailer. As we walk that direction in the clouded over moon light, I say...."What the hell is all them flash'n red lights"? As we get closer, I see a bunch of dad gum cop cars, fireman trucks, a amblalance an' bout a hunnert people stand'n round. A couple Coast Guard boats in the water. "I wonder what happen for all this excitement go'n on".
Do I need to say any more bout this adventure? Did I get into any trouble? You bet yer bippie I did. Damn, I was think'n I was gonna spent the next 5 years behind bars. I sign bout a hunnert papers an' that homemade shrimp'n boat with the Corvair engine.....it was banned from any more sea trials in Galveston Bay. Something bout "safety issues" to other boaters.
Ok, speak'n bout boats.....I worked all afternoon yesterday on that tug boat. Wires was run an' soldered. Batteries installed. Controls hook up.
We [this] close to a finished remote control tug boat. The remote control part anyhows. Still got a ton of other stuff to be done.
I turn on the switches, everthing works. I hit the throttle full bore....."What the hell is that noise"??? "Clutch, it's the freak'n clutch....git some nails". Ha ha, there ain't no stink'n clutch. Motor alignment is off just a tad. More on this situation later after I tear shit apart again. But....that noise sound sooo cool....just like a engine run'n.
Then I eat me up a thick ham steak what was in the frige. My god that was sooo good. Two rounds of Alka Seltzer later, I fall slap asleep in my office chair. Sleeped in that sucker all night long until 8am this morn'n. My back didn't feel too bad when I waked up, but let me tell ya bout neck pains.
Nephew Joseph bringed me a present this morn'n. I alway take a guess as to what's wrapped up an' I win again. It was tools. But, it is tools I been want'n for ages.....a hobby size, 51 piece screwdriver set. You're a good boy Joseph, good boy.
It was cold in "da house" last night. Had to fire up Mr Heater to break the chill. When I falled fast asleep, that Mr Heater was still crank'n BTU's. I don't never do that. But, over there on the other side the room, there was a winder part ways open from yesterdays heat wave (68 degs). Looks like next week will be a bit on the cool side too. But...there is "one" day next week that could possibly be a perfect day for golf'n.
Ok, I got to do something. It's get'n late morn'n, very close to early afternoon. Yup, you guessed it, that dad gum floor needs sweeped again. Done up them dishes yesterday. Took trash to the dumpster too.
Smoker is all fired up. Two fat turkeys are cook'n. Dang, I can hardly wait. "Psssssst Billy Bob, you don't like turkey".
The winds had picked up shortly after leaving dock. The entire Galveston bay is whitecapped, 3 to 4 foot seas awaited us. Cold ass water was com'n over the bow, drench'n captain an' crew. That Corvair engine is purr'n like a new borned kitten. We go'n bout 5 knots against a north wind blow'n bout a hunnert mile a hour. Could'a been closer to 20 or so.
It was early afternoon an' we ain't got far to go. Bilge pump hooked up an' removing gallons of sea water. But this is the old sea Captain Billy Bob. Things like this is a normal occurrence....he ain't skeered of nuttin. With that statement out the way...."what the hell is that noise"? "Why is the boat slow'n down to 2 knots"? Land, an' a bit of safety, is a good mile or so away. We are close to the Houston ship channel, an' as I recall, ships go to Houston. It's the clutch.
Before we get into the clutch, let me 'splain something to ya. Boats don't have clutches. Not like the ones they put in cars an' trucks anyhows. But, go back an' read who builed this thing. Billy Bob, that's who. This shrimp'n boat has a clutch in it. After much modification ya know. Anyhows, the clutch don't work no more. All it do is slip an' make god awful noises.....vibrates like hell.
Back to Billy Bob an' the way he do things. There is no way, never never gonna happen, that he would take a homemade shrimp'n boat out in heavy seas without a ton of tools. That truck transmission had to be pulled to get to the now wored slap out clutch. It's get'n later in the day now ya know, not much sunlight left. Yes I got a flashlight. I ain't completely stupit ya know. A big ass hammer an' a hand full of 16 penny nails drove into the right places fix that clutch right up. Transmission is reinstalled an' we fire that sucker up. Now it's dark. An' we still got four more mile to the Texas City dike....an' safety.
The last hunnert yards are by paddle power. We run slap out of gasoline for that damn Corvair engine. Don't go say'n nuttin, I figgered 2 gallons was more than enough. A small wooden dock awaits us bout half a mile from where we supposed to be tie'n up. The boat ramp an' "yo mama" with the truck an' trailer. As we walk that direction in the clouded over moon light, I say...."What the hell is all them flash'n red lights"? As we get closer, I see a bunch of dad gum cop cars, fireman trucks, a amblalance an' bout a hunnert people stand'n round. A couple Coast Guard boats in the water. "I wonder what happen for all this excitement go'n on".
Do I need to say any more bout this adventure? Did I get into any trouble? You bet yer bippie I did. Damn, I was think'n I was gonna spent the next 5 years behind bars. I sign bout a hunnert papers an' that homemade shrimp'n boat with the Corvair engine.....it was banned from any more sea trials in Galveston Bay. Something bout "safety issues" to other boaters.
Ok, speak'n bout boats.....I worked all afternoon yesterday on that tug boat. Wires was run an' soldered. Batteries installed. Controls hook up.
I turn on the switches, everthing works. I hit the throttle full bore....."What the hell is that noise"??? "Clutch, it's the freak'n clutch....git some nails". Ha ha, there ain't no stink'n clutch. Motor alignment is off just a tad. More on this situation later after I tear shit apart again. But....that noise sound sooo cool....just like a engine run'n.
Then I eat me up a thick ham steak what was in the frige. My god that was sooo good. Two rounds of Alka Seltzer later, I fall slap asleep in my office chair. Sleeped in that sucker all night long until 8am this morn'n. My back didn't feel too bad when I waked up, but let me tell ya bout neck pains.
Nephew Joseph bringed me a present this morn'n. I alway take a guess as to what's wrapped up an' I win again. It was tools. But, it is tools I been want'n for ages.....a hobby size, 51 piece screwdriver set. You're a good boy Joseph, good boy.
It was cold in "da house" last night. Had to fire up Mr Heater to break the chill. When I falled fast asleep, that Mr Heater was still crank'n BTU's. I don't never do that. But, over there on the other side the room, there was a winder part ways open from yesterdays heat wave (68 degs). Looks like next week will be a bit on the cool side too. But...there is "one" day next week that could possibly be a perfect day for golf'n.
Ok, I got to do something. It's get'n late morn'n, very close to early afternoon. Yup, you guessed it, that dad gum floor needs sweeped again. Done up them dishes yesterday. Took trash to the dumpster too.
Smoker is all fired up. Two fat turkeys are cook'n. Dang, I can hardly wait. "Psssssst Billy Bob, you don't like turkey".
Thats some shrimp boat story, but at least you still around to talk about it.
ReplyDeleteTurkey is good for ya, especially smoked.
Your boating adventure didn't kill ya & smoked turkey for dinner.... it really doesn't get any better!
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas Billy Bob!!
As a former professional mariner, let me say we need a new icon on our charts - BBH2N - for a (mostly) floating Billy Bob Hazard To Navigation. You just might be the reason so many 40 y.o. ship's captains delivering to Galveston use hair dye. Merry Christmoose, BB.
ReplyDeleteSmoked is GOOD. Makes it taste all different. Why i only ate ham, was no smoked.
ReplyDeleteWhat the heck is up with OFM Barney? He gets puddleboat back, his golf clubs all cleaned up and then closes his blog? He won't allow comments now so I have to come here to ask...
ReplyDelete