68 degs golf day

Oh my god, I'm run'n out of time. I got a dog to transport to the vet place for a groom'n an' then got a appointment at the local golf course for a round of golf ball swak'n.

I ain't got no time this morn'n to be writ'n no silly stories or nuttin like that. Golf is important....never be late.

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As requested by one my fav friends, here is a photo of poor little Sadie Mae. Ain't never gonna take her back to that old lady for a haircut.  

Not visible in the above photo can you see the screw ups this woman "hair butcher" do to my poor little puppy Sadie Mae. I'm so disgrunted, I ain't even gonna say nuttin more bout it. Grrrrrrrrrr....!!!! Ain't she purty though???

Now there's something you have to understand bout golf. Old men are unstable on their feet. The first rule to hitting a ball off the tee is ya gotta stand there like a well rooted tree. Steady and unmoving. Gather your bearings and aim for the middle of the fareway. "Whoa right there Billy Bob...that ain't nuttin like what you do". Ok, so I didn't have a good golf game today. In fact, it sucked.

Actually, me an' OFM Barney had a rough go of it today. It weren't all that hot, but the humidity was a killer. By hole 7, I was done....my goose was cooked. Barney tuffed it out and completed the 18 holes, but I swear, I thought he was gonna die. "Call 911 somebody, Barney is lay'n in a ditch".

There is a place in my bedroom where I hang my golf bag. That's where my clubs will hang until the weather changes. I'm through with golf ball swak'n when it almost kill me or send me to a hospital with a heat stroke.

Ok, that's it for today.....birthday party go'n on. 

Broke down in Texas

Dizzy Dick got to wondering bout fire ants yesterday. That got me to think'n bout the many times I had encounters with them dastardly critters. If'n ya ain't never stood in a fire ant mound, ya won't know what I'm talk'n bout.

It was back in the summer of '86......
I was driv'n along in my old 1974 VW bus,  just mind'n my own business ya know. I was com'n back home to Texas for the last time, speed-o-meter laid over on bout a hunnert mile a hour.  It was a old Texas county road, CR 549 or something like that....grass growed right up to the edge of the blacktop.
 
Spitter, sputter, bang, clank, all sorts of noises an' puffs of black smoke come out the back that old VW. The motor quit run'n right now....deader 'an a doornail. I pulls off to the side the road....grass an' weeds two feets tall. Out there in the middle of nowheres, Texas sun bear'n down on me, hotter 'an blue blazes. There ain't a cloud in the sky. Not another car in sight what can give the old Billy Bob a help'n hand. Ok, you got that picture in your head now?.....I'm stranded a hunnert mile from civilization, my damned old VW don't run, I'm all by myself....an' I'm gonna die out here in this blasted Texas heat. Are we all in focus now?

I walks round to the back that VW an' opens up the engine compartment. Well shoot, looks fine to me. A little hot maybe with all that smoke an' stuff in there. That when I see something leak'n up under the back....my gasoline is drip'n down on the ground. That's purty good evidence I got a gasoline leak. Bend'n down for a closer look, "I betcha a dollar I can fix that". All I gotta do is to crawl up under there with a hand full of tools an' some bail'n wire or a hose clamp......walla, gas leak fixed. But wait.....

What I failed to do when I take that closer look, was to notice them little dirt mounds what was up under there. I slides my skinny ass up under that VW bus unaware of what was to happen next. I was up under there for only for a few seconds. I'm on "fire". "No damn it, I didn't set the gasoline on fire". What ya think I am...crazy or something??? I was plumb covered with fire ant's an' they was eat'n away at my delicate fleshly parts. Hunnerts of 'em. Swarm'n up my pant legs, in my underdrawers, run'n up an' down my arms. They was everwheres. Eat'n me slap up. Holy Crap, I need some relief.

Off come my pants, shirt an' shoes. I'm beat'n them critters off'n me fast I can with a old baseball cap. Holy Crap.....yeee haw!!! I'm out there on that hot blacktop barefooted,  put'n dad gum blisters on the bottom my feet, danc'n round like a neekid fool. I done got the majority of them fire ants beat off me an' up drives a Texas State Trooper in a shiny black car..... "Whatcha do'n thar boy danc'n in the middle tha road all neekid like that"?

Now I got to 'splain to this ROTFLHAO (rolling on the floor laughing his ass off) State trooper why I'm all neekid an' stuff. He think this shit is funny. He take one look at my skinny legs, what is now all covered with little red welts an' stuff....he start laugh'n some more. I didn't see nuttin funny bout this whole ordeal. He says with a big ol' Texas grin...."them are fire ants boy, ain't ya got no better sense than to sit on a fire ant mound"? I just tell him it was a accident an' that I wouldn't do it no more.
 
By the time I got all them ants shook out my pants an' put 'em back on, that dad gum State Trooper is talk'n bout writ'n me a ticket for illegal park'n an' indecent exposure. I says..."WHAT??? A ticket"??? I'm way to hell out in nowhere broke down, them damn ants eat'n me alive an' he gonna write me a ticket? He just grins at me an' says...."Nahh, I was just kidd'n".

I still got a gas leak ya know. That VW bus ain't gonna run. I ain't climb'n back under that damn VW come hell or high water. The nice trooper helps me push that VW bus back into the road where there ain't no little dirt mounds, turn his flash'n lights on an' climbs right up under there with me to help fix that leak. VW bus fire right up, I wave to the nice Texas State trooper an' I'm headed south to Port Aransas. Scratch'n them damn fire ant bites all the way.

Ok, so I'm crazy. I like writ'n bout stuff what like to have kill me. Most people find my pain an' suffer'n more amusing than when I'm just cruis'n along do'n nuttin.

This incident occurred somewhere along the Bolivar peninsula on State Hwy 67 between Port Arthur and Galveston, Texas while enroute to Port Aransas, Texas from Huntington, West Virginia.   

Another day....again???

Have ya ever wake up in the morn'n and say....."Oh hell, another day"? That happen to me this morn'n. I rekon if'n ya ain't got nuttin go'n on in your life to be excitis bout, ya gonna feel that way. Bout the most excitis thing happen to me today, I waked up.

So that leaves the question of what to write about. Well shoot, there ain't nuttin. I'm sit'n here hav'n a hard time stay'n awake much less write something. Spent the whole dad gum morn'n do'n my normal internet stuff. Now the day is half gone an' I'm just now think'n bout the blog.

I got my big ol' bag of golf clubs sit'n here in the "da house". Right over there in view from where ever I'm sit'n of lay'n on my backside. I get all excitis when I look at them clubs. Last night I looks over there at them clubs, think'n "go outside an' swak some balls". Ya see, there ain't no neighbor houses or park'n lots across the road. I can hit balls off in that direction an' not break no winders or put dents in somebody's car. Theres a telephone pole over there where I gonna swak them balls. It's right along side the road...."don't hit the telephone pole Billy Bob". I tees up a ball bout two inches, rares back with my trusty driver an' I swaks that ball a hunnert mile a hour. OH SHIT....I hits the transformer, or possibly the fuse holder, on the telephone pole. The lights in "da house" go out.....only for a second an' come back on. Scare hell out me. "Da lights go out"??? Well yeah, it's dark outside. That was the end of my golf ball swak'n for the day night.

What ya think bout this weather....HUH??? This is what I'm talk'n bout. Not too sure, but I don't think it hit 90 degs yesterday. Today is almost the same. Temp is hovern'n round bout 92 degs.

Today is the day I can take Sadie Mae back to the vet to get her stitches took out. Or if'n I want to, I can wait till tomorrow. She look like she's healed up real good. No infection or anything like that. Hair has started to grow back out. Sadie Mae is good to go.

Ok.....got things to do....laters.

What that ****CRASH-KABOOOOM****?

Bout 6am I was just lay'n there in bed mind'n my own business...dream'n an' stuff like that ya know. ***CRASH-KABOOOOM****....scare hell out me. I sit's straight up in bed, here come Sadie Mae lickity split snuggle up to me.....head under a little blankie. What the hell was that? It's dark outside, I cain't see a thing. ****CRASH-KABOOOOM***....there's another one, lightning strike right out there in the yard. I hear little pitter patters on the roof. It's start'n to rain. "The winders Billy Bob, check the winders in "that jeep"". Bout that time the rain is com'n down in 5 gallon buckets full. Shine a light out into the darkness...the winders are up in "that jeep". I goes back to bed an' listen to the pour'n rain....what finally fizzles down to a constant pitter patter again.

Here I are sit'n here at the computer read'n blogs, latest headline news, a few emails......I get to think'n. What a wonderful "cool" day to go knock some limbs off'n the trees at the golf course. Oh wait, more pitter patters on the roof. It's 12:30 an (after noon), the outside temp is 78 degs (accord'n to Walmart special), what a beautiful "cool" day to waste sit'n in "da house".

Do I need anything from Walmart? No! Do I need any groceries? No! Am I hungry for greasy food? No! Do I want to take a ride to Port Aransas? Oh hell no! Dang, the first "cool" day on a month an' I don't want to do nuttin.

There's a smell (odor). It's in the bathroom. No, it's in the kitchen. It's in one or the other, or maybe both. The investigat'n team of Billy Bob Nuclear Waste Disposal Inc LLC goes to work. Sniff'n devices (Sadie Mae's nose) are positioned in the bathroom and kitchen. "My God Billy Bob, when the last time you do dishes an' clean the sinks"? OK, that narrows down the first smell (odor). Now I got me something to do on this beautiful "cool" day. "Check the trash can too Billy Bob". Well shoot, the trash can got a lid on it....recently purchased at Walmart, it cain't stink. Sides that, it only half full if'n ya smush it down.

Boy howdy, it gonna be a long time before I ever forget bout how hot it were yesterday. If neice-in-law is the correct word, Rena tell me it was 108 in Corpus Christi yesterday. I says "ain't no way". Then she show me a pic of the truck thermometer thingy. Yup....108 degs. Corpus Christi ain't never been that hot before...not that I can remember anyways. But then, truck thermometers ain't always right. Sit'n out in the blaz'n sunshine, stuff like that, they give ya a false impression of the REAL temp.

How did last nights grill'n cession turn out? Well, not so good. Ya see, while I was prepar'n brussel sprouts and maters to go on the grill, that ham steak was out there burn'n slap up. I'm talk'n had to cut it with a meat cleaver. The maters were perfect off the grill. Cain't say the same thing for the brussel sprouts. I forgot they was out there. Burn them suckers slap up too.....blackened and over cooked.

That chunk of ham may look good on this side, but ya should see the other.

My intention was to smoke my supper. So I throw a chunk of mesquite on the grill...right over the burner. 10 minute later, that sucker still ain't smok'n. Not even catch on fire. There got to be a way to create smoke in a Weber grill. Any grill masters out there???

 

Twice updated...Holy Crap it's HOT....

Ok, I don't think we need to discuss Windows 8 no more. As long as I can find the desktop, get online, I'm fine with that.

But I do have to say something bout this heat an' my "Walmart special" thermo jiggerdoo. It's a two piece wireless thermometer, indoor an' outdoor temps ya know. The outside unit (battery powered) is mounted on the outside wall (DUH!) up under the awning where the sun don't shine. I'm think'n that a ideal place to locate a thermometer....out of the sun. Shoot, if'n it was in the sunshine, that sucker go all the way up 130 degs....something like that.

Well, I been think'n a long time that Walmart done seen me com'n when I buy this thermometer contraption. To give ya a idea what I'm talk'n bout, the internet weather thingy says it's 97 degs outside. My Walmart special says it 100 right here an' now. Yesterday the silly thing said it was 104 right bout 2pm and 109 at 4:30pm. I'm think'n something ain't right. Not that it really matters or nuttin like that....hot is hot no matter what the temp is.

So anyhows, this heat wave is got the old Billy Bob stuck in "da house". Sit on his ass all day an' do clickity click on the computer, watch some TV an' take naps. Now my ass is sore. Ain't got no blisters or nuttin like that yet, but I betcha a dollar, sit'n on your ass ain't good for ya. Yup, it affects my poor old ail'n back an' how far I can walk without sit'n down again. I 'member a time I would walk 5 mile, ride a bike a hunnert mile....climb a freak'n telephone pole if'n I was want'n to. But that was before the age of 200 channel television an' clickity click computers. I'm think'n I was much younger also at that time.

Some times it takes somebody else to jiggle my mind into making decisions. I ain't say'n that I cain't make decisions on my own, but a little help never hurts. Me an' OFM Barney was talk'n the other day bout cool places to camp. That was when I start get'n a little bit excitis. I got to think'n bout the 3 months I spent in Georgia last year. I was comfortable an' I could go outside an' do stuff. At the same time I was in Georgia, Barney was in north Alabama enjoy'n a wonderful "cool" visit with family. Can ya see where I'm com'n from? It's cool in north Alabama an' it's cool in Georgia. When I says cool, I'm talk'n lower 90's compared to lower 100's ever day here in south Texas. If'n ya wanna giggle my mind a little, that's OK with me.  Twist my arm....stuff like that.

Ok, let me tell ya bout that Weber Q grill. I'm think'n that thing was a gift sent from heaven. Thanks to George, "The Weber "Q" Man of Blogland". I been cook'n me up some purty darn good eat'n on that thing.
Here is a example of what ya can do on a Weber.

Plated up, it look something like this.

Now let me tell ya bout them maters an' onion. Won't be grill'n no more onion on the Weber, but you can bet yer bippy there gonna be more maters grilled on there. I ain't never eat no grilled maters before. Them suckers was some kind of good. But they sticked to the grill grates.....leave some of the char behind. Yes, they was soused with olive oil in case ya wanna ask.

Dang, 20 minutes of editing.....I think I got it now. 
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Afternoon temp update:
Ok, here's what I'm talk'n bout.

This is that Walmart "special" reading.

This is from the Taft weather station, 12 miles south of Sinton.

 Also hang'n out the winder is my old refrigeration pocket thermometer, what says it's 108 degs.
So who do you believe?

Ok, lets move the outside sensor to a new location. Set it over there on that burned up little table on the Weber Q. Well now, how bout this....107 degs.....what I'm think'n is the correct temp for Sinton....and maybe not Taft. Hmmmmmm, heat build up under a blue awning? What ya think? I'll buy that.
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Supper update.......don't ya just love updates.

Grilled ham steak
Grilled brussel sprouts
Grilled mater
Not grilled green onions

Sounds good to me.....Yup, yum yum eat 'em up.


 

Computers....Grrrrrrrrr!!!

Whoa boy howdy, I should be at the golf course. Not that it's a good day to be play'n no outside sports, but I ain't got nuttin to do inside. It's 91 degs out there. I could handle that if'n I was do'n something I enjoy.

If'n I had gone to the golf course yesterday, it would have been a HUGE mistake. Try 104 degs right bout 2pm. I would'a have me a heat stroke or something like that. I'm not say'n I got the most accurate thermometer in the world, but I betcha a dollar it's pretty darn close when it says 104 degs.....give or take a couple degs.

Get'n back to Windows 8. Ok, some of ya don't give a flip bout no Windows 8 'cause ya ain't got it....yet. Well, I do. I was hope'n for more comments on this POS operating system, but only got one that was of any help to make me appreciate what I got. Delete stuff. Ok, so what's gonna happen when I delete stuff? And what stuff is safe to delete? Let's say I delete the Media Player app or the Video app. Will I still be able to play my cajun music and watch You Tube? And if'n I decide I want one of the deleted apps back, where the hell is it at? Really, I don't like this stuff. Windows 8 sucks.

If'n ya ain't never seen one, this is a Windows 8 start screen. Ya gotta find a way to get to your desktop for it to look like a real computer. I found the desktop by accident. I also found the "turn this damn computer off" button by accident too. I guess ya could say I'm accident prone. 

I don't know if that could be considered a rant, or just a "need to know". Then again, I don't even know if I "want to know". Computers sure have become complicated in the last few years.

Did I ever tell ya bout the time I builded my own computer? I had been cruis'n along with a old junk (found in dumpster) 286 (brand name unknown) desktop computer in a can. Whoa boy howdy was that thing ever slow. I modify stuff ya know, so I convert it to a 386. Now we talk'n. Bout that time I was play'n online drag racing. The 386 was losing me races. I goes to the computer parts sell'n place an' buy me up a whole sack of computer parts. I'm win'n a few races now with a nice new 486. But still not fast enough. Buy more parts. Soon as I mash the throttle an' pop the clutch, that little hopped up Corvette leaps in the air an' head down the 1/4 mile. Yeee Haw....Billy Bob wins again. I could fix computers back then. Make 'em do stuff they ain't supposed to do. Now, in 2013, I don't know what to do with a bunch of apps what show up on my screen. 

Ok, we done talk'n bout computers. Did ya see where that big ol' high pressure system is mov'n west? That's good news for south Texas. Get some rain, temps come down a few degs....go play a round of golf. But it ain't gonna happen today.

Oh yeah, speak'n on Live Writer, I did me some research on it yesterday. The old Billy Bob won't be need'n nuttin like that. The primary advantages of us'n Live Writer is writing your post off line and drag an' drop photos. Well shoot, I can write a blog off line with Word pad or notebook. Then cut an' paste in Blogger. I don't care nuttin bout no drag an' drop photos neither. Blogger has ever thing a person could ever need to write a blog post an' I know how to use it. No need to learn something new. So there all you dedicated Live Writer lovers....I ain't gonna do it.

That bout covers everthing I wanted to talk about this morn'n. "So, what ya gonna do now Billy Bob"? Oh I don't know, I'll think of something here in a bit. May even come back an' write bout it.

Global warm'n versus Windows 8

Ok, I'm confused. While read'n blogs this morn'n, I come across one discuss'n Live Writer. Ok. Some of the comments on that blog said they would quit blogging if they didn't have Live Writer. This is where I get confused. What the hell is so wrong with Blogger that you can't make a blog post? I mean....like is it too hard?
"So now what ya gonna do Billy Bob"? Well shoot, I'm gonna go take a look see what all this rukus bout Live Writer is all about. I don't think it's gonna make a blog more interrest'n or nuttin like that....I'm just curious why some people cain't write a blog without some generic program. More on this after I do some research.

Then I read another blog bout how great the new downloadable Windows 8.1 is. Ok. Before I get into download'n Windows 8.1, how bout somebody convincing me how great Windows 8 is.

I ain't got me one them fancy hand held "do anything" cell devices like what all the younger generation uses. I hear ya can take pictures an' all kinds of "fun" stuff with a 2013 cell phone. They got these little doo dads what they call apps. Ok. What the hell is a app? Man boy howdy, I'm confused. This new laptop with Windows 8 is got a whole freak'n screen plumb full of apps. I clicks on one them things, up pops a new screen. Password, what's yer password? Now how the hell am I supposed to know that. Then I try my damnest to turn that blasted app screen off. You cain't. It just goes somewheres in the background eat'n up my bandwidth like a cookie monster.....gobble gobble gobble. Now sonebody tell me what's so freak'n great bout that. Why can't I be a teenager for a day so I can understand all this new fangled stuff?

After I returned back to "el Rancho Abraham's RV Park an' Goat Farm"....remember the "damn goat"?...I decided on a trip to Aransas Pass. The afternoon was spent with OFM Barney. Off we head to a "new" to me Mexican eat'em up place. The old Billy Bob ain't gonna be go'n there no more. I got plumb sick last night. We sit outside in the 91 degs heat up under a nice oak tree. The shade an' breeze was appreciated. It was a good afternoon if'n I do say so myself. We always find a interest'n subject to discuss....or two. Yes, we discussed golf an' golf ball swak'n clubs. And fish'n. And boats. Stuff men talk about. Told some lies an' I went my merry way back to Sinton.  

Then last night.....there was a program on PBS. I was think'n I would be interested, but as far as I'm concerned, them people was mak'n guesses instead of factual information. That's what scientist do ya know....make guesses, keep their jobs, bleed the taxpayer. There ain't no way in hell I'm gonna believe that 1/2 inches rise in the oceans is gonna wipe out half the coast line cities in America. Yeah I know, I'm just a redneck what never finish school, live most his life in the woods, eat roasted raccoons on a stik an' skillet fried squirrels....stuff like that. But damn, common sense tell ya 1/2 inch of water ain't gonna flood no mountain top. I don't like scare tactics, especially when it comes to global warm'n. That's OK, jump on the old Billy Bob 'cause he don't believe in that kind of stuff. Well, I kind a sorta do, just don't believe mankind can change mama nature. I betcha a dollar it weren't mankind that melted the glaciers what used to cover half of north America. "Shut up Billy Bob....sheesh!!!"