Lost for words

Don't know where this gonna go but this is a good place to start.

Ya see, it's like this....old Billy Bob ain't been feel'n the best for the last couple months....so he don't do much to talk about. What brings to mind...."ya gotta get off the backside and do something". Well, every time I do that, I get wore slap out and have to go lay myself down for a bit. Now...just a few years ago, I was a house on fire. I could do 14 hours a day and still have energy left over to "make" something.  Did I ever tell ya bout the time, I was in the refrigeration business, had me a nice shop and all that stuff, worked no less than 10 hours a day and still had time on my hands to "tinker". So...what I did was to build a coffee pot. Not just "any" coffee pot, but a 12 volt 12 cupper. Anyhows, a saleman from Sears, where I did a lot of contract work for visited my shop one morning. He spied my 12 volt coffee pot sit'n on the bench and says "what the hell is this contraption"? I gave him a demonstration of the finest brewed cup of coffee ya ever tasted. One year later....Ronco came out with a 12 volt 8 cup peculator. Do ya rekon this Sears salesman stole my invention???

Yesterday, me and pesky neighbor Wayne (old blue eyes) went off to the golf course to swak some balls. Yeah I beat him....as usual. Only lost one ball, but that was only cause I hit it in weeds 3 feets high.

When Barney, the old fat man made his visit, he showed me his bicycle. My God, that one fine look'n machine. Then he look at mine....and laughed. "You can't ride "that". He suggested I look at crank forward bicycles.....what I did. MY GOD....$1500 for a bicycle, what I probably would never ride. I could buy two motors for mine for that price.  That's when I stopped look'n at bicycles.

Lug Nut has not returned, so I'll be writing him off as another "dog gone". Sadie is still look'n out the door for him every night but she is also look'n for a frog. Sadie is a frog hunt'n dog ya know. But she ain't too smart. She puts them in her mouth, then they pee, then she has a mouth full of foam....like a mad dog. Crazy dog.