Oh no, you didn't....

Oh yes I did. Ya see, it was like this. I was sit'n out there on "da porch" just mind'n my own business and here come pesky neighbor Wayne with a golf ball in his mouth mumbl'n something bout going to the golf course.

This morning I drag myself out of bed like a bolt of lightning. Not that I wanted to, but I had me one them cramps what make ya says all kind of cuss'n stuff. I must'a holler GD GD GD at least a hunert time. Have ya ever try to pee with a cramp in your leg and holler'n obscenities?

It was 6am when my coffee was finished brew'n, dark as a paper bag outside and temp right on 57 degs. By the time the sun peeked over the horizon, old Billy was all fire up to go to work in the yard.  Went out there and start chop'n and rak'n weeds and old dead grass stuff.  Another 2 or 3 weeks and I gonna have me a sand and gravel yard again. Speak'n of trees, did I tell ya bout the two trees I built out of bushes? Yeah I did. I took all them spare limb thingys off and there ain't nuttin but one trunk and a few scrawny limbs left. Look'n good Billy Bob. See, I told ya, I make stuff.

Golf game weren't worth a flip. Clubs must still be warped. Sadie Mae was hunt'n today in every bush out there. Was wore slap out by the 9th hole. I didn't fare too well either after hunt'n all them golf balls. When ya practice something, ain't ya supposed to get better?? 

 Won't be long and "Sally da house" is gonna be sit'n right here and I gonna be catch'n me sum fish.