My God...what the hell???

Holy crap, I don't understand any of this stuff.

Ya see, it's like this....I went to my Walmart store and bought me some stuff. A new battery for "that jeep", an external hard drive for the computer, a can of air to blow out that fan and some groceries.

Well, first thing I done was blow out that fan...what didn't help not even a little bit. If I knew how to take this sucker apart, that fan wouldn't be mak'n those noises. Ya gotta take screws out of the bottom to get the top off. Then when ya get the top off, ya gotta take screws out of the top to get the bottom off. Kind of reminds me of Windows...ya gotta hit the start button to turn it off.

Then I hook up that external hard drive....500 gig, more than I'll ever need. Installed some kind of a progran and went to work. Holy crap, it's doing a back up.....WHY??? What's the use of backing something up that ain't work'n anyhows. Ok...that was done while I finished a book. THen I copied my entire "D" drive to the external drive....that's the stuff I don't want to lose. You know, about 5 gigs of photos and stuff like that. OK that's done.
Now what the hell ya gonna do Billy Bob??? Hell, I don't know....what do ya suggest? It ain't work'n right so I suppose I'll restore it back to day one and start all over.

Oh, I fount a Toshiba 17" laptop at Walmart for around $800 and some change.....think it was something like $79 in change. Let me see if I can remember....hell no......!!!! Anyhows....it's brand spank'n new and I bet ya a buck the fan don't make no noise.

Then....I plugged my Verizon air card in a USB port on the other side of my laptop. There went my signal. What the hell is with that? Then I plugged it back in the other side and there's my signal. HUH???

Ok I ain't done yet. Went by a battery sell'n place and had the battery in "that jeep" checked. Got the print out right here in my pocket. Now where the hell did it go??? Anyhows, it siad the battery was good but need a charge. Well shoot, that what I been try'n to do but it don't charge. I was think'n I replaced that battery, but then I figgered out I didn't 'cause of the size of it.....it's different from what I always buy. So, at Walmart I fount one exactly what the book says to put in it.....yep different size than what I usually buy.

Bought me up some chili mak'ns. Gonna brew me up a big ol' pot tomorrow....like a couple three gallons. Yum Yum Yum!!!!

Computer nightmares

Don't even ask.

Hot damn....what a beautiful morning. Is it summer again already? I think the storm has passed....at least I'm hoping it has. Guess I'll be outside sit'n on "da porch" sip'n a cup and think'n after while. You know what I'm gonna be think'n bout ....right? Yep, these damn computers.

Ya see, it's like this...yesterday I hook up that old laptop. Soon as I install the Verizon and Yahoo Messenger set up programs, all hell broke loose. First thing happen, I got a "blue screen of death". Everyone know what that is. That mean something is terribly wrong. So I says, hell I'll fix that. Did a system restore what didn't fix nuttin.  Back on the HP now.

Ok, who the hell stole my Texas flag? What a crock. Here I have my flags fly'n in the breeze and I get up the next morning and my Texas flag is gone....pooooof, just like that. Either California don't like Texas or there's another Texan camped at the slabs.

Today is the day we go up to the American Legion for breakfast. Had I got up in time, I could have gone also. But no, old Billy Bob was dream'n under all them blankets while everyone else was get'n ready to go. Maybe I'll just fry me up a slab of balony and some eggs. Sounds good to me.

Computer cursed

Holy crap Billy Bob.....now ya went an done it.

Ya see it's like this....my piece of crap HP laptop is bit'n da dust. That little fan is maki'n all kind of weird noises and won't quit do'n it. Then....when I boot up the laptop, the damn thing is missing a file. Then Yahoo messenger don't work no more. I don't know how to take it apart and I don't have any canned air to blow it out. Old Billy Bob is stuck between a rock and a hard place. So, I broke out the spare laptop and here I are. 

Internet connection still sucks even with an antenna stuck out the winder. But I did notice the weather may be the problem. Ya see, we had a freak'n cold front come through here. It's all hazy about where I think the "tower" is at, but really I have no freak'n idea where it's at. The other day, before the storm, I had a good signal. But now it sucks.

Holy crap it was cold this morning. Somewhere's in the 30's outside.....and not much over that inside. Ya see, I don't run a heater at night. No sense in wast'n a bunch of propane when I'm gonna be wrapped up in a pile of covers all night long. I stayed under them covers till I could'n take it no more. Got up and pee'd, turned on Mr Heater full blast and made me a pot of coffee. 

About the Thanksgiving dinner. All the foods were wonderful, probably better than last year. But, sit'n outside eat'n up a big plate of food in the cold with the wind blow'n didn't cut it. It were bout 58 degs and 15 mile a hour winds. So after I finish my plate, I head to "da house" where it was warm. That's when Sadie Mae got lost. Ya see, she was sit'n under my chair protect'n me from all the big dogs run'n round. Apparently she was chas'n some big dog down the street when I left. When she come back, I was gone. I call her a couple times, but no Sadie. Finally here she come. Tail a wag'n and eyes a glow....she fount her daddy. 

Think'n come Monday I'm gonna go off to town and do some shop'n. You know....Walmart. Gotta get me some them zip drive thingys to copy all my files to off that piece of crap HP computer. Then I'm gonna restore it to day one and start all over. In the mean time, I'm gonna fire up my big ol' air compressor and blow that thing out goooood. If the fan still screams....don't know what I gonna do. Buy a new one????

Internet connection sucks

Holy crap Billy Bob, why did you move to a different campsite?

Ya see' it's like this......my internet connection don't work worth a crap over here. Yesterday it didn't work at all. Well, to make a long story short, I found out that my antenna has the wrong adapter on it and it don't fit my air card. Well that's a simple cure....just go to the Verizon Store and buy the correct adapter.....RIGHT. The freak'n store is closed. So....it looks like a couple more days of sporadic to none internet service.

Yesterday kind of sucked. What do ya do at the slabs? Not much. If I had a remote control helicopter I guess I could go outside and fly it. Yesterday was a cloudy day so all I did was sit inside and catch up on a few "wimmin" chores. Read me a book...the whole thing. Went out and hooked up my battery charger. Went over to the neighbors house and retrieved that old ugly cat that the dog hauled off. I wonder if he thought it was a real cat.

Speak'n of batteries....mine ain't get'n fully charged...or something like that. Ya see, I let the water get too low in them a while back and now I'm think'n I may have "murdered" them. So today I'm gonna check stuff. You know....clean off the solar panels, clean all the battery connections, check the water again, break out the volt meter....all that good stuff.

Brewed me up a big pot of chicken soup yesterday. Boy howdy, I gonna be eat'n on that pot for a week. Oh, and before I forget it, I decided to drink me some water. Drank it right on down. Holy crap, what the hell??? My water tastes like bleach. Oh yeah.....I forgot to flush my tank when I sanitized it.....so naturally, there was too much bleach left in the system. Now what I gonna do with all that bleach water?

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Fount me a adapter for the antenna.....had a drive almost a hunert mile to get it. And the damn thing don't work worth a crap. Gonna have to do something else. Anybody got some duct tape and a long pole??? 

Changed campsites...

Boy howdy, did that old lady give me them "dagger" looks or what?

Ya see, it were like this. I picked out a campsite on the spur of the moment yesterday before taking the time to look around. It was close to two other campsites....tooo close. When I crank up my generator this morning, the that old lady, not more than 50 feets from me opened her door and give me a "go to hell" look. Like "what the hell you do'n run'n a generator this time a morn'n for"? My God, I were only mak'n a pot of coffee....sheesh!!!

After I been up a while, I took a walk. Just across the road was this really nice look'n campsite. Yup, it all mine now. Ain't got no neighbors close by and no one look'n in my winders to see what I do'n.

Now all I got to do is make it look like a "hi class" redneck homestead. Gotta go find me some junk for the yard.

Well shoot. I done went and moved and now my Verizon connection sucks. What the hell??? Got an antenna on it but don't think it's do'n what it were designed to do. Oh well, I got plenty time to mess with it later.
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Ok now we talk'n business. I got to look'n at that antenna thingy and it has the wrong adapter to fit the air card. My God, don't nobody "no nuttin" when they sell stuff to old Billy Bob. I thought about duct tap'n it to a pole, but that would be tacky.
Boy howdy, I been busy this afternoon. I gots me a yard and some my stuff set out. Look'n good Billy Bob.

 Now what ya think bout that????

Slabs bound...day two

What a beautiful day for going on a picnic.

Got up this morning bright and early. Holy cows, it were only 50 degs at 6:30am....sun just com'n up. The reason I was up this early was cause I were expect'n to beat the winds go'n down the interstate. Every thing look'n good so far.

Now let me tell ya....have ya ever been somewhere and think you was somewheres else? Well, I was sit'n on da couch last night read'n a book....yeah I read books. Old cowboy western books. Relive the past. Anyhows, every time one them big trucks pull in I says "what the hell ??". I were think'n I was back in Deming and big trucks was driv'n throught the r/v park.


Well it's time to hit the road again and see if'n I can make the slabs before it gets dark. Ain't got but 280 miles to go. See ya down the road.
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Well shoot, I must be in California. All the guys are wear'n silly frilly look'n clothes and the wimmins are slim and trim, curvey and some good look'n.  I got here an hour ago, but the time  to get here was backed up an hour.....so's I made the  200 miles in three hours. I must have been go'n a hunert mile a hour to get here that fast.

I'm only bout 65 mile from the slabs, so I think I'm gonna take me a little nap.

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Ok, just like that, I'm at the slabs.  Winds picked up so bad this afternoon I thought I were gonna turn over. I'm guess'n they blow'n bout 30 mile a hour.

Holy crap, where I gonna park? Took care of that real quick like. Now if the guy next door don't get all twisted up in his underdrawers, I'll be just fine right here. Only bout 100 feet from the campfire ring.

YUP!!! On the road again

Boy howdy, got up this morning and my water hose weren't froze. In fact, it was over 30 degs and "da house" was warm. Mostly cause I left both heaters on last night....now I gotta pay extra for electric. Dear God I waste a lot of money.

While coffee was brew'n, I poooshed them buttons to bring the slides in. Both worked so we ahead of the game.
Then while I was readn't the news and talk'n to old Uncle Ben, I checked the weather forecast go'n west. My God, what the hell....winds from the west at bout 15 to 18 mph. That's really gonna help my gas mileage...huh? By 8:30 I was ready to roll....disconnect the electric and sewer and hook up "that jeep" to the back end "da house". GRRRRRRRR....damned jeep has a dead battery. Thought I fixed that last week. Apparently not. Charge it up just enough to start and hooked up. We on a roll now. Said my good byes to Wayne and a couple neighbors and headed to I-10 go'n west.

Bout 40 mile down the road....here come the wind. For the next 230 miles. After fueling up I figger I got right at 8mpg....what sucks. Since there's still bout 4 hours sunlight in Arizona, I may go on for another hunert mile or so. I ain't tired after 6 hours behind the wheel fight'n to keep this big sucker on the road and in my own lane. But, I have a great camp'n spot at the truck stop where Sadie Mae can go out and pee and poop if'n she wants to. This is the same spot I camped last year when Lug Nut broke loose and was everywhere. Took me an hour to find the little bastard. He was over help'n a mechanic work on a truck.

Nothing exciting happed on the trip so far, unless ya want to consider Billy Bob get'n pissed off at gas stations. Ya see, it's like this. The first station I pull into had the slowest pump ya ever see. Ten minutes to pump 4.7 gallons. Now where the hell am I gonna go on 4 gallon of gas? Went on down the road to another, and crap, no card readers. And ya know old Billy Bob ain't about to walk all the way inside just to give them a hunert dollar bill....nope ain't gonna do it. The next station....across the street where I always get gas was no problem at all.....so why the hell did ya go to the other one in the first place.

Shot through Tucson just like it weren't there. Never slow down for nuttin. When I went by the ostrich farm I were cran'n 62 mile a hour. Too late to stop now.  Hell, I never stop nohows, so what the deal?
Have ya ever notice when ya by yourself, ya never stop to look at stuff....unless it's macho man stuff. You know, like wild buffalo or a gun shop.

I have no freak'n idea what time it is. Back in Deming it's 3:25, but what time is it in Arizona.....no daylight savings time ya know. And what freak'n time does it get dark? I just stare up at the sun to see where it were....now I can't see. But it looks like a couple hours left before it gets "scary" dark. Billy Bob don't drive at night. Almost smashed into a deed do'n that one time. Scared hell plumb out me.

Ok, I think that's bout it. Gonna lay down on the couch, open a good book and go to sleep.

Postponement

Yep that what I did.....postponed my trip to Ca. for another day.

Since yesterday was a golf ball swak'n day, that's what me and pesky neighbor Wayne did. And you know by now that every time Billy Bob swaks golf balls, he hurts the next day. After toss'n and turn'n all night long I were too tired this morning to perform the last details of "get'n on the road". My God, didn't know there were so many things left to do.

Got myself another computer problem. Ya see, it's like this. When I go to wake up my computer every morning, there are times I get "blue screen". Google it if ya don't know what it is. Anyhows, a couple days ago, I got blue screen. Instead of letting the computer do what it does (collecting information), I pushed the off button....that's the one ya push when ya turn on. Then I did a normal boot up. Oh no, a file is missing, but it still booted up (10 minutes). Then I said, look for the missing file online. There ain't one and I can't access my "boot" drive on the computer. Then Ben told me to push f8.....lolololol....hahahaha....that don't do nuttin.  So I pushed f2.....holy crap, what this stuff? Then I tried another f.....holy crap, what this stuff? All I want to do is start up in "safe mode". Any ideas???

Now I got to grab me something to eat.....a couple cold hot dogs sound pretty good.

More on "GOLD"

Holy Crap Billy Bob, what ya do'n?

When I first went to California there weren't no super hiways like there are today. We went there on Route 66. You know what I'm talk'n bout, a little two lane road what went from like Chicago, or something like that, all the ways to Los Angeles, Ca. That where we were go'n, my Grandpa, uncle and me. We was driv'n a brand spank'n new Nash Ambassador "Upside Down Bathtub" 4 door sedan. What look something like this one.

Gotta tell ya, it were a hell of a ride. It were an adventure for old Billy Bob. We drove through hills, the plains, deserts, over mountains, miles and miles of old wooden oil derricks, little bitty hick towns, big cities and see all kind of old steam and brand spank'n new diesel locomotives trudging along go'n to nowhere.

Stories were told by gramps and uncle of the "old" days. When people crossed the US in covered wagons, cowboys and Indians roamed the deserts. The stories of gold prospectors with their little burros laden with shovels, picks and gold pans. The prospect of striking it rich. I started dream'n...I wanted to do that....and for years that dream never died and still lives today.

Speak'n of dreams, many years ago I were sit'n in the cockpit of my boat, sip'n a cup and think'n. Think'n bout dreams. That's what keeps ya alive if'n ya didn't know it. I thought, "if you let a dream die, you die inside". That what I still think today. Think about it!!!

A few year later, we moved to the desert. You know, where wild animals roam at night look'n for somebody to scare the hell out of. There was lots of coyotes sing'n their tunes, mountain lions on the prowl, snakes slither'n round, big ol' nasty look'n spiders and bugs like ya ain't never see before. Today, most them critters are gone and long forgotten. But not forgotten in the heart of Billy Bob.

When I were a teenager, I was the "wild one". Did things no normal child would do. I went prospecting. Go'n inside them caves and tunnels that the prospectors of years past had dug look'n for gold. How the hell they dig all them holes with nothing but a shovel, pick and a ton of dynamite? I had an old 1927 Buick Roadster what was my prospect'n "burro". Only costed $12 in two easy payments.

It would go anywhere a jeep would go....or so I thought. The old wooden wheels would squeak and rumble when the got loose. But it would go. Many memories surround this old car climbing the mountains in search of anything that might look something like gold.

There were an old prospector what lived up there in the mountains. He was a mean old cuss what didn't like visitors. And he had a gun. It just so happens that the road runs right through his front yard and I was on that road. When I topped the hill all I could see was sky...steep hill...and when I leveled out I was staring this mean old cuss of a prospector in the eye. He was dressed in the usual garb of a freak'n hermit. Long beard, overalls and a big ol' "holy" hat. I just stared at him.....what the hell....is this guy gonna shoot me? He made it very clear that I was trespass'n and he don't cotton to trespassers. We had coffee, what I couldn't stand at the time, shot the breeze and then he sent me back down the hill. Stories go that he was in a few wars with trespassers and the local cops on more than one occasion.

But he weren't the only prospector I ran across in them mountains. They spent their later days living in a dream of strik'n it rich.

That's it for this posting........got things to do ya know.

Dig'n dirt

I remember one time....I was out in California prospect'n for gold. I was driv'n my "little red BronkoII", had my homemade "gold machine" in the back, some gold pans and bout 5 gallon of water.

But first let me tell ya a little bit bout gold prospecting. There's an old say'n...."gold is where it was found before". Well, that's true and it gonna be no where else. Ya see, back a hunert seventy year ago, gold was discovered in California, what brung on a "gold rush" like what ain't nobody ever see. Prospectors come from everywhere....China, England, Austrailia, Alaska and Mexico. Just to name a few. The hills, mountains and valleys was covered with fortune seekers look'n for their pot of gold. Ton upon tons of this precious metal was dig up until it was thought it was all gone. So they left. But, little did they know, they only recovered bout 80% of the gold. The rest is still out there yet to be recovered.

Now.....what is prospecting? Well shoot, prospecting is try'n to "locate" some gold before it's mined. Ya see, here's what ya gotta do. Ya go dig up some dirt, bout a couple hunert pounds, run it through a gold machine,

then pan out and count the colors (little pieces of gold). 

If'n ya got enough colors to show some kind of profit for your labors, ya dig more dirt. Bout 250 shovels full is equal to a ton of dirt and a ton of dirt might bring ya $10 or $20 worth of gold. That is if you are lucky. Gold got there by following a "highway" from the "mother lode" up there somewheres. Gold goes down, never up. So ya go dig another hole, pan it out and count the colors. Doing this for days on end, your color count should increase. If not, you are on the wrong trail. In old days, the prospecors would dig holes every 50 feet or so at the bottom of a hill or mountain until they found where the golf came down.  It could take months of digging to locate a vein where the gold came from. Then the mining starts. But by todays standards, most of the veins have been located and mined out. 

Anyhows, I drove up this old trail what look like it ain't been drove on in a hunert year. I could see some mine shafts and tunnels off in the distance. I were think'n, "I'm gonna be rich". So's I started dig'n dirt....all day long. When I reached a point where I was think'n...."I'm gonna be rich", the sun was low in the sky...time to head for home. Ok, no problem, I'll come back tomorrow and "I'm gonna be rich". Now, I'm sure some of ya heard stories bout "lost" gold mines and stuff like that. Well that what happen. Next day there was no way in hell I could find my way back to that little old trail that led to "I'm gonna be rich". For weeks I looked for that trail, but it seemed to have just vanished into thin air. 

Things ya do

Read'n a book, listen to tunes, load'n up for a trip, fix'n stuff, play'n golf......ya know what I mean???

Have ya ever read a book what made ya think you was right there? I read "cowboy" and "westerns". Just finished one and boy howdy, them outlaws was shoot'n right at me too. Fell plumb off'n my horse chas'n some crazy Chinese cook. Got a bloody nose in a saloon. Felt the pain of a lost friend kilt by a renegade Indian. Yep, books sure do make ya think.

Spent most of the morning clean'n up "da porch". Tools are all back in their place. Bout a hunert pound of stuff is in the dumpster (no dumpster diving please).

Been bout three years since I fired up my tunes on my other computer. Boy howdy!!! I got tunes that go back to when I were a teenager. That make ya think too ya know. One tune played and I quickly remembered an old girlfriend. I were 19 at the time. Was driv'n my old '49 Merc down the street and I see this little "pretty". You know how it is when them girls see a pure white 1949 Mercury driven by a handsome guy with long black hair combed back in a "DA"....that's a duck tail. It were love at first sight. She died a few years ago, but that love for her never died. When I hear that tune, she's still in my heart. Just say'n.

It were freezn cold again this morning, but by 9:30 it were warm enough (57degs) for a little porch time. By 11:30, I had all my tools and stuff stowed away in their proper places......well, some of them. Still lots to do if I'm gonna get out of here before the first snow. The weather thingy says 21 degs come Monday morning. I ain't gonna like that one bit. Hope to get out of here by next Friday.

Well it looks like the cow head ain't gonna work. It went plumb off again last night before I wet to bed. Ya see, I added one more them LED light bub thingys but the solar cell ain't big enough to charge the battery to handle 3 bubs. Back to two bubs.

Tooth fix'n day

Well it's not really a tooth fix'n day, they gonna take one them high dollar Home Depot pressure wash thingys and clean my teeth. I had that done not long ago and found some miss'n marbles I were look'n for, nut an bolts and all kind of other stuff I were look'n for.

Holy crap....let me tell ya. It were some kind of cold last night. The weather thingy said 25 degs at bout 7:30. Now let me tell ya bout the weather here in Deming. If it's 25 degs downtown at the little "redneck" airport, it gonna be 20 degs here at "da house. But.....last night was just a taste of what's to come. Thursday is gonna be cold....probably in the teens....not downtown mind ya, but at "da house". I would say thursday will NOT be a day for sit'n on "da porch" sip'n a cup and think'n. But it is a golf ball swak'n day.

Break out the long johns, a heavy winter coat, some gloves and swak that ball a mile or two. Did I ever tell ya bout the time.....I decided to stay in Deming for the winter.....and froze to death. We played golf ball swak'n every Wednesday with the "old timers". Some of them in their 80's....bless their souls. I was just a "pup" of 65 at that time, so I was considered a "long ball hitter". Right over that tree and 50 yards from the green (that tree has growed a bunch in the last 4 years). Anyhows, we played in 25 degs, everybody wrap up in heavy gear. Snow all over the place. Ain't gonna do that no more. In fact, I may just move "Sally da house" to south Texas where it only snows once every hunert year. I used to live there ya know.

I was fish'n in the harbor for spotted sea trout....done had me a couple nice ones when I get this bite what almost make me spill my beer. It were a nice one, fight'n an tugg'n on my line. Just bout the time I was gonna yank him out the water, here come a GREAT BIG spotted sea trout what gobble up that other fish I were reel'n in. Now what the hell ya gonna do Billy Bob? "The net, somebody get a net." That night we grill up one great big ol' spotted sea trout on the half shell. Boy howdy!!!

Ok....I only got an hour before the dentist. Got some stuff to do. Since they gonna clean my teeth when I get there, should I brush before I go?

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Well shoot, twern't nuttin to it. Done sit my butt in the wait'n room for an hour...... I were bout to pee my pants. Then here come the nice lady what says...."William"??? That me ya know. Took some more x-rays and we was in business. Holy crap....says the doctor....lookie here. Whole bunch of stuff got to be done. How the hell I got a broke tooth I'll never know. Nobody hit me in the mouth, ain't chewed no rocks....what the hell?
Anyhows, old Billy Bob got brand spank'n new look'n teeths. What's left of them.

Here come UPS with pesky neighbor Waynes heater. LOL....first thing he do is drop it.....two times. Then he call the gas man....he gonna be warm tonight.

Oh yeah, while I think of it, battery weren't dead in "that jeep" when I went to town. Who would ever thought that a light burn'n for months would make a battery go dead? The bad thing though was that I replaced the battery over in Ga. instead of find'n that light what was on. Grrrrrrr....I hate spending money when it's not necessary.

Surround sound

Holy crap Billy Bob, now look what ya went an done.

Ya see, it's like this....I used to have this system in "Sally da house" what would blow to door wide open even when it were locked. But then one day, I smell smoke...smoke detector done went off. It were my sub woofer/amplifier what was on fire. I took that sucker an throwed it out the door. For the last two years I been us'n one them cheap Walmart specials what sounds like "junk" at it's best.

Since today is an inside day....windy and cold outside on "da porch", I decided to crank up some tunes. What the hell....that sounds terrible. Been think'n "wonder if I can use a couple my old "killer" speakers on this cheap Walmart special system. Took me out a skin'n knife and commenced to cut me some speaker wires. Yep, sure as hell can.....maybe. Ya see, my old system was like 300 watts and this cheap Walmart special is only bout 45 watts. Am I gonna have another fire??? Hot damn, this sounds good!!!

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Been feeling exceptionally well today......for a change. Ya see, it's like this, I don't know from one day to the next if I'm gonna still be alive when I wake up in the morning. Arrangements are being made to locate another cardiologist. The one I have sucks......I don't like his ass. When he told me I may never make it back to Deming from my Georgia trip, that give me the first hint he don't "no nuttin". And sides that, I think he is screw'n Medicare and my insurance company.......charges for stuff what never happen. Example: I went in for a office call to get all my prescriptions updated. Well, it costed $700....$170 for consultation (?) and $500 something for what ever. Expensive drugs HUH?

But anyhows, today was wonderful. "Sally da house" is look'n like a house again. Have ya ever go in your grandpa's bedroom an look around. Junk everywhere. Us old folks ain't got time to put stuff where it sposed to be. And all them empty spots on the dresser and stuff needs to be filled with something. And if there ain't no empty spots left, there's always the floor or just pile it up on another pile.

Member that chicken I cook in the solar oven the other day? Well it's in the pot becom'n chicken veggie noodle tater soup (no maters Ben). But....how the hell can ya over cook a chicken in a solar oven? This is the second time I done that. Won't happen again.....damn meat fall right off the bone.

Oh, did I mention that big ol' apple pie sure do taste good. I'm get'n where I like this solar oven cook'n. Everybody should have one in their back yard.  Now....I been wonder'n. What would happen if'n I put a couple three eggs in there for a while. Would they explode like they do in a microwave? Would they taste different from what they would if'n ya boiled them? What ya think?

Boy howdy.....only make it to 60 degs today and tonight gonna be COLD.......like bout 25 deg out here where "da house" lives. Don't let me forger to drip a faucet so's I don't have to use "doggie" water for coffee in the morning.

Porch time

Well, here it is almost porch time at Billy Bob's house. It's 58 degs out there after a cold night of 30 degs or less.

Yesterday was a beautiful day in Deming. Abundant sunshine and very little wind. So, you can bet a quarter that Billy Bob was at the golf course swak'n golf balls. That exactly what we did. Beat poor old pesky neighbor Wayne so bad he say he gonna sell his golf swak'n clubs. He ain't never gonna learn, ya can't beat a man at his own game. I love golf ball swak'n.

Now here what happen to Billy Bob for not think'n very good. Ya see, I went to Walmart for a loaf of bread and a gallon milk. Only costed $126. Now I have a ton of stuff to put in the freezer....and it ain't gonna fit. But that ain't what I'm talk'n bout. I bought a big ol' chicken what I gonna make a couple gallon of soup out of, freeze it and take it to the "slabs". "Well dummy, where the hell ya gonna put a couple gallon soup when ya ain't got no room for all the other stuff ya gonna put in the freezer"? Anyhows, I cooked that big ol' chicken in the solar oven and set it on the stove to cool. When I got back, I says...."now where ya gonna put it....dummy"? Took it to Wayne's house. Maybe he'll eat it and I don't have to worry bout freez'n it.

Now today, I got this great big ol' apple pie I got to cook....in the solar oven. Ya see, when I went to Walmart, I was hungry. Bought all kinds of stuff I like. The frozen pie wouldn't fit in the freezer for a later cook'n date, so now I got a pie to eat...now.

Well, "that jeep" started it's crap again. this time the battery was slap dead when I was want'n to go. What the hell? Did some check'n with my trusty voltage measure thingy and yep, it were slap dead. Put the trusty charger thingy on it and a couple hour later, start pull'n fuses to find the cause. Holy crap, that's a 40 amp fuse. More investigation....after it was almost too dark to see, I notice a light shin'n inside the car. What the hell? I never see that before. Anyhows, I push the little button and off go the light. Is it fixed? I should hope so.

Someone wanted to see my solar powered cow head night light all lit up. This is the only pic I have. But since this pic was took a week or so ago, I have made some changes. Will post another pic as soon as it is completed. Oh...it has eye ball peeper thingys on it now and have one more LED light to install.

A black horse

Does death ride a black horse or does he cruise around in a fancy SUV.

Last night was another one them nights where the brain tells me "don't go to sleep....listen to what I gonna tell ya". Well I listen to that old brain for what seem like hours and still don't know what it was say'n. Weird stuff. Like polishing hub caps on a big black SUV with some dude sit'n in the back seat in a black over coat pull up over his head. All I could see was red eyes look'n at me, a big hooked nose and white grin'n lips dangling above a pointed chin. Then up rides this black horse. With the same dude what was sit'n in the car, just look'n at me. Hmmmmm, ya don't suppose do ya?

Yesterdays golf game start off on the bad side for old Billy Bob. I were swak'n golf balls everywhere but where they supposed to go.....out in the field and stuff. I ain't never gonna break a hunert like this. But then I got down to business and turned the game around. Hit two strokes under my handicap....what ain't the best in the world. Barney would be proud of me. Maybe.

Boy howdy let me tell ya.....it were cold this morning. Not quite cold enough to freeze my water hose, but it were below freez'n.....30 degs at 7:30. Of course, right after that, here come old pesky neighbor Wayne want'n to sit on "da porch" and BS. I tell ya, that man ain't right.

Been do'n a few things to get ready to leave Deming for a wonderful winter in the south California sunshine. This gonna be my 3rd. trip to the slabs for winter, but I ain't all that excited this year. My park'n spot is done took up by some yankee from up north. Our camp ground where we usually park was took over by some hippy crowd....done put up barb wire fences and destroyed our fire ring. But there's 640 acres, so find'n a place to camp ain't no problem. You did know that it's free....right?

Swak'n golf balls

Now I gotta go swak a golf ball.......

It's ain't like I never swak'ed a golf ball before 'cause I know what I'm do'n. Ya see, many many years ago I was a golf ball swak'n feller....with a baseball bat. Could hit 'em a hunert mile. Then I bought an old set of golf ball swak'n clubs at the hock shop. Throwed them in the truck and I was a golfer. Went off to the golf course and every ball I hit, I figgered...."that was the wrong club".

Many many years later, I took up golf ball swak'n for the second time in my life. I already knowed how to hit the ball. All I had to do was learn how to hit it in the fareway. That's that fresh mowed strip of grass right straight out in front ya.

Ok....that's enough golf train'n for one day. Old Billy Bob go'n to the course and see what I learnt in all these years. No need for comments here.

Boy howdy, I gonna have to start sleep'n during the day and forget sleep'n at night. More on this later......pesky neighbor Wayne showed up with a golf club in hand. Time to go!!!

Call the fire department....

No, I ain't on fire, but........

Did I ever tell ya bout the time.....me and Jerry was fix'n this old fellers car. We was mechanics ya know. It seem like this old car ain't gonna never run no more. It had a blowed head gasket and the tining chain was slap'n time to the tune of "Jailhouse Knock" by Elvis.We done ruined a few perfectly good shirts, acquired a few cuts and bruises, cussed some pretty serious words, but we had 'er back together in a couple days. A good swak or two on a 18" cheater bar with a 5 pound sledge hammer was equal to bout a hunert pound of torque. That be good for head bolts.

We was all acited bout fir'n this sucker up and gon'n for a test drive. We hook up the battery connections and commence to crank. Nuttin happen....absolutely nuttin. "Jerry, where the hell you do with the coil wire?" Coil wire in place, we commence to crank again......HOLY CRAP.....BAM....BOOOM...stuff was explod'n. Gasoline was shoot'n 3 foots in the air. Oh Oh...sumthing ain't right bout this. What the hell??? Then the battery give up the ghost....it were dead.

Poosh it Billy Bob....what we did.....bout 30 mile a hour. Up the street bam'n and boom'n.....gasoline and flames shoot'n 3 feets in the air. Then it catched a fire. A BIG fire. People was gather'n and shout'n stuff.

By the time we got the flames to subside, we hears a fire department sireen howl'n in the distance. Me and Jerry was gonne be in trouble for sure. We push that car off the road and high tail for home like a couple jack rabbits.....we don't know nuttin bout no fire. At my aunt's house we figger we was safe. But then there was a knock at the door. Oh Oh.

Auntie open the door and there stand the sheriff and half a dozen fire department guys not look'n too happy.  She look at me and Jerry and says...."I should have known it had something to do with you two heathen boys." Quote/unquote....that what she said.

Today was a good day. Old pesky neighbor Wayne had an appointment at the VA in Las Cruces and won't be back for hours. I brakes out my "to do list" and commenced to scratch off some the easy stuff what I been put'n off for the last month. Broke out the sew machine and sew up where the wind been eat'n on my flags. Both back up on the pole. Had a put a couple gallon water in my batteries. Yup, them suckers was low....really low. That's $500 dollar worth of batteries so's I'm hoping they still be good. Check all the fluids in "da house" and "that jeep". Two quart low in "da house". Now where the hell all my oil go? Air up all the tires to 90 pounds. Hope to get one or two more years out them. Then I crank up the "little red broncoII", hook it up to an old truck frame and drug it round the walk'n path/golf cart trail. Then Wayne come home. Sat his big ass on my porch and no more work was done by Billy Bob and Company. See what I mean by "pesky neighbor".

Then I decided I had to eat sometime today. But I weren't hungry....hain't been in a month or more. I ain't been eat'n nuttin but junk stuff, no nutritional value at all....you know, like donuts, Fruit Loops, a cold hot dog, a slab of balony......junk. That be why I ain't feel so good in a while. But, tonights dinner sucked. Only ate a half bowl of pork chops, potatoes, onions, TOMATOES, fresh green beans and some Billy Bob's special seasoning. And I still ain't hungry.