Bicycle gears

Ok, I got to take me a break....whooooeee, I are tired work'n on bicycles.

Yee ha....I done fount me a old bicycle what I been look'n for. When I look at it, I says...."hey, that's just what I been look'n for". It has a single piece crank with 3 gears on it.....yes! One gear is flat useless 'cause it too big an' won't fit nohow. But the other two....gold mine!!! Billy Bob done struck it rich. See what patience will get ya if'n ya wait long enough??? So now I have some gears to work with and a spare 5 1/2 inches crank complete with brand spank'n new bearings. "WD-40...where's my WD-40"? 

The first thing I done was to take the 3 gears apart....chainsaw, chisel and drill bits. The first gear I tried on the "billy bike" was the 5 1/2 inches crank an' a 38 tooth gear sprocket. Well darn, "billy bike" is still too hard to pedal up a big ol' hill. So's I try the 7 inches crank with the same 38 tooth gear. Well, that's a little better....but still not easy enough for an old fart with skinny legs. Ok, let's try the 30 tooth gear an' see what happen. Holy crap, that exactly what I been say'n all along.....perfect. Just offhand, I would say the gearing on the "billy bike" is bout the same as OFM Barney's "barney bike", the trusty steed or what ever he calls it. I'm happy!!~! Now how the hell do ya shorten a bicycle chain???

So yesterday I went to my secret fish'n hole think'n I were gonna catch me up some trout or redfish. WRONG!!!! There weren't nobody even get'n a bite on live bait....shrimps an' stuff like that. Barney showed up with all his fish'n gear an' wades out in the middle of the shrimpboat channel, cast'n lures in every direction. I sit there an' watched him for bout a half a hour, but he don't know that....he was busy catch'n fish. An' then here pulls up this crazy lady....talk'n to herself and me at the same time. Boy howdy, what ever she was on, lit her up like a 230 volts Christmas tree or one them Olympics torch thingys. I jumps in "that jeep" an' I'm out of here. 

Damn goat done eat up my favorite fly swapper. He just come in "da house" like he live here or something like that. Pick up stuff an' head out the door with it. Sadie Mae don't say a word. She just lay there look'n at that goat an' shake her head. Speak'n of Sadie Mae, she done fount her a fresh deposit of burro poop to roll around in. My god Sadie, you stink like poop. Now I got to give her a bath and cut her hair. "Where my scissors"? But maybe not today.