Ha ha, me an' Robert was sit round last night. I got to talk'n bout the good ol' days when I was knowed to pull pranks on people. That part of my life even went back into my teenage days, but we ain't gonna be talk'n bout them days today. Let's set our minds on the late 80's an' up to bout 2001....or there bouts.
But before I get into my prankster days, let's talk bout this damn coffee pot I bought. It's a espensive sucker an' make a pot of coffee faster than ever I knowed possible....think 4 minutes to brew 8 cups. But, there a couple or three or four things I don't like bout it. First, there is no way in hell you can pour a cup of coffee, like I could with my dead Mr. Coffee, while it's brew'n. You got to wait for the brew to finish. Then ya got to wait for the coffee to drain out the coffee grinds thingy. Bout 8 minute wait for a cup of coffee. I don't like that. Then there's the fact that I have to used a estra scoop of grinds to get the strong flavor I like. Then it has a freak'n lid ya gotta screw on top the pot when all the wait'n is done. An' last but not least, I don't like the flavor, what I suppose is from the super fast brew time. This sucker has got a 1500 watt brew heater in it.
Think'n seriously bout buy'n me up another Mr Coffee.
Ok, while I was work'n at the University of Tejas, my fellow workers never knowed what might happen when I come into view. Ya see, I love pranks. Not on me, but other people. An' it don't make no difference who them people are.
I was stand'n over there in my work are sip'n up a cup an' hav'n a smoke. The supervisor come out an' says....."Piep*****, the director says he is hot, the a/c ain't work'n". Well, I got me a smoke to finish up an' a few more sips of coffee to finish......let's make the director a portable a/c unit. Some sticks an' some paper is quickly glued together. I jump in my service truck an' heads to the directors office. I hands the director a little hand held fan with his name on it. I catched hell from the supervisor, but the director kept that fan on his desk for the nest 5 years. I DID adjust his thermostat before I left.
We was over at the other facility, supervisor, plumber an' me. There was a leak on a air vent on the heating system hot water pipes....way up in the ceiling. Ladder required. For me to get up the ladder to the air vent weren't near as close fit'n as it was for the plumber, be'n he was much bigger than I was. Jim climbs up the ladder, wind'n his way through an' around ceiling grid, electric conduit, a/c vent piping.....he's to the last step on the 8 foots ladder. He holler down, "hand me the 16 inch channel locks". What the supervisor hands up. Plumber Jim start holler'n..."Damn you Piep*****", an' few other choice cuss'n words. Ya see, here's what I did. As Jim was going up the ladder, blabber'n shit all the way 'cause it was a tight squeeze, I tightens the the nut on the channel locks so's it don't open up.
Jim the plumber was a easy mark for pranks. He had a roll around shop tool chest an' every morn'n he would open the drawer an' get out a few tools. Opening that drawer was my que to pull a prank. A hole was drill in the back of his tool cabinet an' a heavy piece of string was run through the hole an' hook up to the drawer. The other end that heavy string was connected to the squeeze handle on a big ass fire extinguisher. You git'n the picture ain't ya? The nozzle was placed under the tool cart point'n where his feet would be. Then we sitted back an' wait for Jim. Jim grab the drawer handle an' give it a tug.....it don't open. Then he rare back an' give a great big tug on that drawer. Out from under that tool chest come this humungus cloud. Skeer hell out poor old Jim while he's back'n up bout 10 15 feets hold'n his heart in his hands. "Damn you Piep*****"!!!
Supervisor an' plumber Jim was work'n on a steam generator over on my workbench. Bout a hunnert pound piece of equipment with some burn slap up wiring. I just happen to be in the shop when they was bout finish their repairs. I walks up an' make a few remarks...."you sure you guys know what yer do'n"? Supervisor give me one them looks......ha ha, he had no idea what that look would cost him. I pulls a big firecracker out my pocket an' I unbeknownest to them, I place it under the rim of the steam generator. I then casually walk off. I'm watch'n carefully as they hook up the 230 volt test leads. I heads that way with a lit smoke in my hand. Supervisor reach up to turn the power switch on as I reach down an' touch my smoke to the bug ass firecracker....an' I casually walk off again. Supervisor flip the switch, we have power....an' then that firecracker go off. There's a big cloud of smoke an' them guys is back'n up a hunnert mile a hour. "DAMN YOU PIEP*****"!!!!
Boat crew guy had a boat in the shop work'n on the drive system.....under the boat (inboard/outboart). As I casually walk past the rear of the boat where he is work'n, I drop a lit firecracker. BABOOOOM, he hits his head on the bottom of the boat. He was a little bit pissed, but his only words were...."Damn you Piep*****"!!!
Jim the plumber come back to the shop one day. He had fount a bag of corks what fit perfectly in 1/2 inch pvc pipe. Placing a air hose in one end of that pipe, squeeze the handle an' that cork would reach the other end of the shop. Jim was shoot'n people with corks. More of us got involved. We done run slap out of corks. Hmmmmm, wonder how far a plastic pvc cap will shoot. Ok, I'm a modifier as most of you already know. I grabs a short piece of 1 inch PVC, adapt the other end to fit the air hose an' I shoots a 1 inch PVC cap to the other end of the shop.....aim'n high so's not to knock nobody slap out. The walls of the shop are 25 feet high, an' in the wall up close to the top is a huge exhaust fan with louvers on it. The two carpenters are work'n at a bench right under that fan. On the louvers is a accumulation of dust an' dirt....probly bout 10 years worth. POOOOOFF!!!!, I shoots that 1 inch PVC cap at the exhaust fam. BAAAAAM......like a shot gun hit it. Down come all the dirt an' dust....all over the 2 carpenters. That was the end of shoot'n corks in the shop.
In summer time, we would get into water fights. You know, toss a cup of ice cold water on somebody....an' run like hell. Well, me an' mechanic Charlie, we done pass the stage of a cup of water. We graduated to half a 5 gallon bucket full. We had some scooters what were used for small jobs, run;n back an' forth to the offices.....stuff like that. Ok, a young feller named Veril took off to the offices on a errand to pick up some shit for the storekeeper. He'll be back in just a few minutes. Me an' Charlie loads up our 5 gallon buckets of water an' hide on each side the roll up door.....wait'n for Veril to drive through. We gonna douse him good. I head a scooter. I takes a look see. Ha ha, it's the supervisor....not Veril. I'm gonna prank Charlie...."here he come Charlie, git ready".
Supervisor drive through the door an' Charlie let loose with his bucket of water. I had already walked off from my position. Boy howdy let me tell ya, poor old Charlie got him a ass chew'n like he ain't never have.
One more on plumber Jim. I tole you he was easy....right. Well Jim had acquired a big 6 foots high double door cabinet. Before lunch he was design'n the shelving system he needed. I mean he was put'n some effort into this project. Cut'n this, cut'n that, git'n it all laid out. Lunch time Jim takes off for lunch. The old Billy Bob gits him a idea. A simple idea. Turn the cabinet upside down.
Jim comes back from lunch an' heads to his cabinet project. Opens the doors, starts tak'n measurements an' cut'n an' install'n some shelves. That's when Jim notices something ain't right.
"DAMN YOU PIEP*****"!!!! Believe it of not, Jim toss that big ass cabinet out of the shop he were so pissed. But he bringed it back in after he cooled off.
Supervisor was stand'n in the storekeepers area.....behind a steel door. I owe the supervisor for him skeer'n the shit out me when he slam a sledge hammer against the steel plate under the tire changer thingy net to where I was work'n. Yeah, I jump a foot straight up. Anyhows, I takes a 4 foot 2*4, turn it on edge, place one end against the steel door an' with the force of Hulk Hogan, I slam the other end against the door. In the shop, it sound like a shot gun, but the storekeeper later tell me it sound like a cannon on the inside. Supervisor had to take a break an' sit down for a spell. Ha....we even.
One of the grounds crew catched a snake an' put it in my work truck. I like to shit my pants when I see that snake crawl'n round in the truck. I'm gonna git even. At the University, there are many stray cats what people drop off. An' they freak'n wild as hell. The grounds guy is work'n just around the corner. With my cast net, I catched the biggest cat I could find an' I heads off to where the grounds guy parked his work truck. He don't see me pull up. I eases the door of his truck open an' let that cat out of the cast net in the truck. Boy howdy, you talk bout a pissed cat. Then I went off an' waited for the fireworks. I don't know where that cat was, but as soon as the grounds guy started the truck, that cat come slap alive. I was later called to the office for a ass chew'n....but it was worth it.
Ok, that's all the pranks I'm gonna share today. But, there are many many more.
For the last 4 days I have been feel'n kind a sorta on the terrible side. I ain't got one ounce of energy an' I got me whole bunch of hurt'n muscles. Think'n maybe I over did it with the couch. Also get'n them damn backards leg cramps almost ever night. Sit in my office chair twist'n my back around this way an' that way an' after bout 20 minutes them leg cramps are gone.
Doc prescribed me some medicine to shrink my prostrate. Oh boy, let me tell ya bout the side effects. Lowers blood pressure to the point where you get dizzy....don't git up fast the pharmacist tell me. Don't stand for any length of time (dizzy). Feel'n tired an' weak. Stuffy nose, upset stomach, headaches. Damn, not sure I want to take this shit or not. Terazosin 5mg if'n ya want to know.
Yesterday I builded an' installed a Chris Craft boat shelf above the entrance door. Put the boat up there an' don't like it. Today I took the shelf down. The only other place to put it to build a plexiglass shelf in front of the winder at my desktop. That would be nice I'm think'n. Ha, do you know how much 3/8 inch plexiglass costs? Maybe oak would be cheaper.
Holy crap, I forgot to publish this. It's freak'n after midnight an' I started this this morn'n.
But before I get into my prankster days, let's talk bout this damn coffee pot I bought. It's a espensive sucker an' make a pot of coffee faster than ever I knowed possible....think 4 minutes to brew 8 cups. But, there a couple or three or four things I don't like bout it. First, there is no way in hell you can pour a cup of coffee, like I could with my dead Mr. Coffee, while it's brew'n. You got to wait for the brew to finish. Then ya got to wait for the coffee to drain out the coffee grinds thingy. Bout 8 minute wait for a cup of coffee. I don't like that. Then there's the fact that I have to used a estra scoop of grinds to get the strong flavor I like. Then it has a freak'n lid ya gotta screw on top the pot when all the wait'n is done. An' last but not least, I don't like the flavor, what I suppose is from the super fast brew time. This sucker has got a 1500 watt brew heater in it.
Think'n seriously bout buy'n me up another Mr Coffee.
Ok, while I was work'n at the University of Tejas, my fellow workers never knowed what might happen when I come into view. Ya see, I love pranks. Not on me, but other people. An' it don't make no difference who them people are.
I was stand'n over there in my work are sip'n up a cup an' hav'n a smoke. The supervisor come out an' says....."Piep*****, the director says he is hot, the a/c ain't work'n". Well, I got me a smoke to finish up an' a few more sips of coffee to finish......let's make the director a portable a/c unit. Some sticks an' some paper is quickly glued together. I jump in my service truck an' heads to the directors office. I hands the director a little hand held fan with his name on it. I catched hell from the supervisor, but the director kept that fan on his desk for the nest 5 years. I DID adjust his thermostat before I left.
We was over at the other facility, supervisor, plumber an' me. There was a leak on a air vent on the heating system hot water pipes....way up in the ceiling. Ladder required. For me to get up the ladder to the air vent weren't near as close fit'n as it was for the plumber, be'n he was much bigger than I was. Jim climbs up the ladder, wind'n his way through an' around ceiling grid, electric conduit, a/c vent piping.....he's to the last step on the 8 foots ladder. He holler down, "hand me the 16 inch channel locks". What the supervisor hands up. Plumber Jim start holler'n..."Damn you Piep*****", an' few other choice cuss'n words. Ya see, here's what I did. As Jim was going up the ladder, blabber'n shit all the way 'cause it was a tight squeeze, I tightens the the nut on the channel locks so's it don't open up.
Jim the plumber was a easy mark for pranks. He had a roll around shop tool chest an' every morn'n he would open the drawer an' get out a few tools. Opening that drawer was my que to pull a prank. A hole was drill in the back of his tool cabinet an' a heavy piece of string was run through the hole an' hook up to the drawer. The other end that heavy string was connected to the squeeze handle on a big ass fire extinguisher. You git'n the picture ain't ya? The nozzle was placed under the tool cart point'n where his feet would be. Then we sitted back an' wait for Jim. Jim grab the drawer handle an' give it a tug.....it don't open. Then he rare back an' give a great big tug on that drawer. Out from under that tool chest come this humungus cloud. Skeer hell out poor old Jim while he's back'n up bout 10 15 feets hold'n his heart in his hands. "Damn you Piep*****"!!!
Supervisor an' plumber Jim was work'n on a steam generator over on my workbench. Bout a hunnert pound piece of equipment with some burn slap up wiring. I just happen to be in the shop when they was bout finish their repairs. I walks up an' make a few remarks...."you sure you guys know what yer do'n"? Supervisor give me one them looks......ha ha, he had no idea what that look would cost him. I pulls a big firecracker out my pocket an' I unbeknownest to them, I place it under the rim of the steam generator. I then casually walk off. I'm watch'n carefully as they hook up the 230 volt test leads. I heads that way with a lit smoke in my hand. Supervisor reach up to turn the power switch on as I reach down an' touch my smoke to the bug ass firecracker....an' I casually walk off again. Supervisor flip the switch, we have power....an' then that firecracker go off. There's a big cloud of smoke an' them guys is back'n up a hunnert mile a hour. "DAMN YOU PIEP*****"!!!!
Boat crew guy had a boat in the shop work'n on the drive system.....under the boat (inboard/outboart). As I casually walk past the rear of the boat where he is work'n, I drop a lit firecracker. BABOOOOM, he hits his head on the bottom of the boat. He was a little bit pissed, but his only words were...."Damn you Piep*****"!!!
Jim the plumber come back to the shop one day. He had fount a bag of corks what fit perfectly in 1/2 inch pvc pipe. Placing a air hose in one end of that pipe, squeeze the handle an' that cork would reach the other end of the shop. Jim was shoot'n people with corks. More of us got involved. We done run slap out of corks. Hmmmmm, wonder how far a plastic pvc cap will shoot. Ok, I'm a modifier as most of you already know. I grabs a short piece of 1 inch PVC, adapt the other end to fit the air hose an' I shoots a 1 inch PVC cap to the other end of the shop.....aim'n high so's not to knock nobody slap out. The walls of the shop are 25 feet high, an' in the wall up close to the top is a huge exhaust fan with louvers on it. The two carpenters are work'n at a bench right under that fan. On the louvers is a accumulation of dust an' dirt....probly bout 10 years worth. POOOOOFF!!!!, I shoots that 1 inch PVC cap at the exhaust fam. BAAAAAM......like a shot gun hit it. Down come all the dirt an' dust....all over the 2 carpenters. That was the end of shoot'n corks in the shop.
In summer time, we would get into water fights. You know, toss a cup of ice cold water on somebody....an' run like hell. Well, me an' mechanic Charlie, we done pass the stage of a cup of water. We graduated to half a 5 gallon bucket full. We had some scooters what were used for small jobs, run;n back an' forth to the offices.....stuff like that. Ok, a young feller named Veril took off to the offices on a errand to pick up some shit for the storekeeper. He'll be back in just a few minutes. Me an' Charlie loads up our 5 gallon buckets of water an' hide on each side the roll up door.....wait'n for Veril to drive through. We gonna douse him good. I head a scooter. I takes a look see. Ha ha, it's the supervisor....not Veril. I'm gonna prank Charlie...."here he come Charlie, git ready".
Supervisor drive through the door an' Charlie let loose with his bucket of water. I had already walked off from my position. Boy howdy let me tell ya, poor old Charlie got him a ass chew'n like he ain't never have.
One more on plumber Jim. I tole you he was easy....right. Well Jim had acquired a big 6 foots high double door cabinet. Before lunch he was design'n the shelving system he needed. I mean he was put'n some effort into this project. Cut'n this, cut'n that, git'n it all laid out. Lunch time Jim takes off for lunch. The old Billy Bob gits him a idea. A simple idea. Turn the cabinet upside down.
Jim comes back from lunch an' heads to his cabinet project. Opens the doors, starts tak'n measurements an' cut'n an' install'n some shelves. That's when Jim notices something ain't right.
"DAMN YOU PIEP*****"!!!! Believe it of not, Jim toss that big ass cabinet out of the shop he were so pissed. But he bringed it back in after he cooled off.
Supervisor was stand'n in the storekeepers area.....behind a steel door. I owe the supervisor for him skeer'n the shit out me when he slam a sledge hammer against the steel plate under the tire changer thingy net to where I was work'n. Yeah, I jump a foot straight up. Anyhows, I takes a 4 foot 2*4, turn it on edge, place one end against the steel door an' with the force of Hulk Hogan, I slam the other end against the door. In the shop, it sound like a shot gun, but the storekeeper later tell me it sound like a cannon on the inside. Supervisor had to take a break an' sit down for a spell. Ha....we even.
One of the grounds crew catched a snake an' put it in my work truck. I like to shit my pants when I see that snake crawl'n round in the truck. I'm gonna git even. At the University, there are many stray cats what people drop off. An' they freak'n wild as hell. The grounds guy is work'n just around the corner. With my cast net, I catched the biggest cat I could find an' I heads off to where the grounds guy parked his work truck. He don't see me pull up. I eases the door of his truck open an' let that cat out of the cast net in the truck. Boy howdy, you talk bout a pissed cat. Then I went off an' waited for the fireworks. I don't know where that cat was, but as soon as the grounds guy started the truck, that cat come slap alive. I was later called to the office for a ass chew'n....but it was worth it.
Ok, that's all the pranks I'm gonna share today. But, there are many many more.
For the last 4 days I have been feel'n kind a sorta on the terrible side. I ain't got one ounce of energy an' I got me whole bunch of hurt'n muscles. Think'n maybe I over did it with the couch. Also get'n them damn backards leg cramps almost ever night. Sit in my office chair twist'n my back around this way an' that way an' after bout 20 minutes them leg cramps are gone.
Doc prescribed me some medicine to shrink my prostrate. Oh boy, let me tell ya bout the side effects. Lowers blood pressure to the point where you get dizzy....don't git up fast the pharmacist tell me. Don't stand for any length of time (dizzy). Feel'n tired an' weak. Stuffy nose, upset stomach, headaches. Damn, not sure I want to take this shit or not. Terazosin 5mg if'n ya want to know.
Yesterday I builded an' installed a Chris Craft boat shelf above the entrance door. Put the boat up there an' don't like it. Today I took the shelf down. The only other place to put it to build a plexiglass shelf in front of the winder at my desktop. That would be nice I'm think'n. Ha, do you know how much 3/8 inch plexiglass costs? Maybe oak would be cheaper.
Holy crap, I forgot to publish this. It's freak'n after midnight an' I started this this morn'n.
LOL,Prankster,i needed a good laugh,thank you!!
ReplyDeleteBB..any idea what happened to Barney's blog ...OFM?
ReplyDeletegone, poof.!! just like that.
Barney has quit blogging.
DeleteYou will certainly be missed, Barney. Hope you change your mind one day. Sissy
DeletePiggy-backing again - only on your blog, BB. But ditto on the laughs. I would not want to be on the receiving end of any of your pranks!
ReplyDeleteMore stories, please~
I can't read your blog because the writing disappears into the background. I finally gave up.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the wonderful entertainment today, BB! I wonder if you would have kept your job nowadays after pulling those stunts.
ReplyDeleteI guess you were good enough at the job that you got away with it, fun then, fun now to hear about it! Do wish your health issues would get better.
Don't forget to post a picture of my namesake when you get it on a shelf!
hi BB. WOW! is the old BB. coming back ? that was quite a lot of energy writing yesterdays blog , took you until mid-might to write . about the coffee and coffee makers , i have never in my life drank coffee so you see how much money did i save? how much money have you spent all your life on all the coffee makers and coffee ? that will be a good estimate to how much moneys i have saved by not drinking coffee not to mention all the aggravations and stress you have received all those years since when ?( when did you start to drink coffee anyway ) ?
ReplyDeletehi BB. what age did you start drinking coffee ? have you ever quit for any amount of years ? how many years all together ? how much money all together did you spend on coffee in your entire life approx. ? all canadians say that the coffee in the usa is so weak , have you tried good canadian coffee ?
ReplyDeleteAnd he's back! Thanks for the prank stories. Now, if we could just get the OFM to keep writing, too. I miss him already.
ReplyDeleteWhat Linda said...
ReplyDeleteBB, I used to work with a devil like you, after me all the time with one fool prank after another ... until I spot-welded his car doors shut, along with the hood and trunk. Last time that mommyjumper harassed me!
ReplyDeleteFWIW, I've been taking the Terazosin @ 10mg a day for going on 15 years or so. Let's just say you get used to it after a while. Which is another way of saying I modified my behavior to take it easy coming to attention from a prone position. Still get wobbly now and then, but not getting any younger, either.
I assume it's a pill you are taking that is making you dizzy. Why don't you try cutting it in half, and taking half a dose for a couple of days and see if the dizziness goes away. Doctors don't like for you to do that, and I suspect it's because the drug companies don't like for you to do it. But you are a free man, and can do what you want to (or not).
ReplyDeleteWhat a rascal you were back then. I bet that rascal is still in you IF all the med problems would disappear. Loved the stories; got any more?
ReplyDeleteMy life became devastated when my husband sent me packing, after 8 years that we have been together. I was lost and helpless after trying so many ways to make my husband take me back. One day at work, i was absent minded not knowing that my boss was calling me, so he sat and asked me what its was all about i told him and he smiled and said that it was not a problem. I never understand what he meant by it wasn't a problem getting my husband back, he said he used a spell to get his wife back when she left him for another man and now they are together till date and at first i was shocked hearing such thing from my boss. He gave me an email address of the great spell caster who helped him get his wife back, i never believed this would work but i had no choice that to get in contact with the spell caster which i did, and he requested for my information and that of my husband to enable him cast the spell and i sent him the details, but after two days, my mom called me that my husband came pleading that he wants me back, i never believed it because it was just like a dream and i had to rush down to my mothers place and to my greatest surprise, my husband was kneeling before me pleading for forgiveness that he wants me and the kid back home, then i gave Happy a call regarding sudden change of my husband and he made it clear to me that my husband will love me till the end of the world, that he will never leave my sight. Now me and my husband is back together again and has started doing pleasant things he hasn't done before, he makes me happy and do what he is suppose to do as a man without nagging. Please if you need help of any kind, kindly contact Happy for help and you can reach him via email: happylovespell2@gmail.com
ReplyDelete