A short blog??? Oh hell no

Got a email...."Make your blog posts shorter".

Well shoot, my posts ARE shorter. I could write a big ol' book ya know, like 200 pages of (like MsB says) adventures and misadventures. I could have wrote yesterdays post in probly one paragraph, but then Gypsy wouldn't have fall out her chair laugh'n an' almost break a hip. Ya gotta have just a little bit of humor in your live.

I started be'n humorous when I was of early age. In school, I was the class clown....or the "you silly boy". Teachers didn't like it much 'cause it disrupted the daily routine of "teacher power".

Speak'n of teachers, did I ever tell bout my first grade teacher. She were a big ol' thing lady teacher....waddle round the classroom with a stik in her hand. Whallop ya a good'un if'n she want to. Make ya sit on a stool in the corner after she beat hell out ya. Teachers in 1947 was mean critters.

I was already a "mean little bastard" by the time I start school. I weren't no bully or nuttin like that if'n that what you're think'n. The little girls thought I were the best thing what ever happen, me run'n round the school yard scream'n like a flipp'n banshee. I was cute an' I knowed it. But you laugh an' make fun of my second hand holey bibs or my too big hand-me-down lace up hightop shoes, I gonna hit ya right in the eye. I take plenty lickin from that teacher an' her stik.....sit in the corner for a hour. I knowed that corner well. 
Anyhows, that big ol' lady teacher was as mean as poor little Billy Bob was. And she always win no matter how hard I try. Ya see, she had more experience than I did.....knowed what I was gonna do before I did. She was always watch'n me out the corner her eye, know'n at some point Billy Bob gonna do his thing. The class is gonna laugh at his antics and ain't gonna learn nuttin. Be dummys all their life, all because of Billy Bob be'n a "silly boy".

Humor has served me well all my life. Even thought it has got me in a bit of trouble along the way. Like one time when I was in the Navy defending our country from a Cuban missile attack during the Cuban Missile Crisis. Do ya know what a "sea bat" is? We was on a train'n mission for newbie officers, kids just out of school. I catched me up a sea bat. Put him under a cardboard box back on the fantail (back of the ship where ya can land a helicopter if'n ya want to). There's a crowd of bout 30 sailors back there, most of 'em know what a sea bat is. Here come a young officer in train'n....he ain't never see a sea bat before an' he bout to see his first. I says...."there's a sea bat up under that cardboard box, ya wanna see him"? I tell him be real careful an' don't let him out. That officer get down on hands an' knees an' carefully raise the edge that box. KAPOW!!!....I hit that officer a good one, right in the ass with a broom....he see his first sea bat that day. Boy howdy, he were one piss off officer in train'n. I gets wrote up for stik'n a officer, make it all the way to "Captains mast" over a damn sea bat. I lose one stripe for 90 days an' get one week of "head" clean'n duty. Clean'n heads sucks.

 Now how did I get to writ'n that nonsense when I got important stuff to talk bout? Yesterday, I was think'n, today is a perfect day to go swak golf balls. And it were. Not too hot with a slight southerly breeze.

Have ya ever stand on top a "rickety" wooden step ladder what scare hell out ya? Wobble all over the place. Well, that what the old Billy Bob feel like yesterday.....knock that first ball right slap in the water. By the forth hole, I done knowed I should have stay home. My back hurt an' I were six strokes over par. Things weren't look'n too good. Golf sucks when ya cain't stand up. I hung it up on the 15th hole, lower back hurt'n like hell.