Yikes, don't stand on the ants

We sit'n in the shade at Junction City Park in, believe it or not, Junction, Texas. I had a hard time find' the place 'cause all the instructions to get here was on my laptop. "Well shoot Billy Bob, just fire up the internet an' everthing be fine". NOT!!! There ain't no internet anywheres close to Junction. But anyhows, I had wrote down the "back road" I was supposed to turn left on....2169. Ok....there was three 2169's, start'n 20 miles back up the road a piece. I says....Grrrrrrrrrr, "how I gonna turn around on a narrow road like this one". I managed. Then there was the next 2169. Nope, not this one neither. Finally.....I'm camp'n. Nice quiet little park. Fount me a spot next to the river under a couple pecan trees.

Not the best view in the world, but what the hell, it's free. Maybe I stay here two days? Read on.

The first thing I do is get out an' look my camp'n sight over. "Pull up bout 20 feets be fine". OUCH, I stand'n on a ant mound. Them suckers is bite'n the shit out me me. I pulls up the designated 20 feets, sit on the couch doctor'n my poor ol' ant bited feet. Brew me up a new pot of coffee an' lay back to relax from a tiring an' miserable day.

7pm....HOLY CRAP, it's a hunnert degs in "da house". 89 to be exact. Nice little breeze blow'n, lets sit outside for a bit. Hey, is that a pecan lay'n over there on the ground? I love pecans. I goes over an' pick it up. OUCH, I stand'n on another ant mound.....hunnerts of them little black critters. And them little bastards are crawl'n up my legs, bite'n the crap out me. Mind ya, these ain't good ol' "fire breathing" Texas fire ants, they just regular ol' black critters....with alligator teeth. Back to doctor'n up my feet an' ankles. Man, them suckers done bite me a hunnert times. Fifteen minutes later, Ahhhh, that feels sooo good. In case ya wanna know, Equate Pain Relieving Cream, from Walmart, works wonders for ant bites. Same stuff I use on skeeter bites.

It's 8pm. I'm sit'n on the couch eat'n up a peanut butter jelly sammich an' a cup of ice cold milk.....dunk'n that sucker ya know. I got sweat run down my cheeks....it's hot in "da house". Fire up the generator, set thermostat on 37 degs....Ahhhh!!! that feels soooo good.

Bout this time, I'm cooled down, lay'n back on the couch...got my little 12 volts fan blow'n on me (generator off), I'm relax'n. 10pm the dreaded leg cramps start. Ain't talk'n bout no little sissy leg cramps, these things are serious, both legs at one time. Hurt like all holy hell.

By 1am I make it to the bed. Leg cramps die down an' I get me some sleep. 3am....Now I got me some belly rumbles, a quick dose of alka seltzer.....damn, I need sleep. Another hour by the wayside, back to sleep by 4.

I get up at 9am.....yup, I was sleep'n pretty darn good. I done decide I ain't stay'n here another day....too damn hot. That little car is gone. But in it's place is a big ol' box truck....block'n my departure. RV'ers know ya cain't back up when ya got a "toad" hook up. 

Crank up "Sally da house right at 11:45. How the hell am I gonna get out of here? Last resort would be unhook "that jeep" and back out. Maybe if'n I make a hard left I can miss that tree on the left an' not hit that truck on the right. I walk's out there....yeah, I think I can do this. "Billy Bob, you good....had a foot or two to spare".

2pm....I'm down the road a piece, put a hunnert dollar in the gas tank....put cruise on a hunnert an' let 'er eat. Should hit Ft. Stockton and beyond long bout supper time. If'n I got it all planed right. Spend the night at the rest area an' be all refreshed for the next day of travel to the rest area just across the border of Texas in Anthony.  That's the plan anyhows.

In case ya wonder'n, no I ain't enjoy'n this trip so far. Sit'n in that chair up there driv'n down the road for two hours at a time, my back is kill'n me. I'm bout out of alka seltzers an' I still got a long ways to go.