Ain't nowhere to get warm

This is attempt #3 to write something. There ain't nuttin there......pooooof, empty tank, just like that.

Some people call times like this "winter blues" or something like that. I call it "freez'n my ass off" an' it's too damn cold to go outside. I'm stay'n in "da house". You think I'm kid'n don't ya? Well I ain't....I don't like cold...an' I ain't go'n outside. When ya get up bout my age, you'll know what I'm talk'n bout.

Speak'n of cold....Boy Howdy, it's freak'n cold out there. There's RV people (snowbirds an' such make'n their way south) stranded all over the country in Walmart park'n lots, long side the road, camp grounds....all 'cause of blizards, snow, ice storms....nasty winter stuff. Now down here in south Texas, it might be a little cold an' stuff like that, but we ain't exactly stranded or nuttin like that. All we gotta do is hook up an' go to somewhere's warmer. But there ain't nowhere's warmer left to go where ya ain't gonna freeze slap to death.

A quick look at the weather in Zapata, Texas....Falcon Lake.....it's cold as the arctic there too. That's where I been wait'n to go. Not the arctic silly....Falcon Lake. There's a 14 pound bass what lives in there. I know, 'cause I saw him a couple years ago.

Ya see, I was out there on the lake in my little blow up "bubba boat".

Bout then, this great big ol' bass fish grab holt to my fish'n lure. He makes bout 4 jumps clean out the water.

Then he take off like a freight train, right up in a bunch of old dead brush an' tree stumps. He got my bass fish lure hang'n out his lips. He winds my line round one them tree stumps an' he ain't com'n out no matter how hard I pull. Stalemate if'n we was play'n chess. But he checkmate me in the end....broke my line slap off. Damn cheap Walmart fish'n line.
I'll get him this year I betcha.

Ok, I got things to do. *whip cracks* "Git this house clean up Billy Bob". Oh god....dishes!!!