Homebrew gold machine

Rich??? What you talk'n bout Vern. Ha Ha, the old Billy Bob like to bust a gut....while he count'n pennies for a loaf of bread an' some balony. "I'm broke honey, ya got to go find a job".

I used to watch them gold prospector programs on TV. Well hell, I can do that I betcha. I'm think'n it was long bout 2003 when I start do'n some internet research. I'm gonna build me a "gold git'n" dry washer an' get rich. That what I were think'n anyhows. Well, the fact of the matter is, that people don't get rich dig'n for gold.  It's a hobby, git over it. A expensive hobby.

I fount me some plans on the internet. A dry washer what all ya do is pour dirt in the top an' 24 karat gold bars come out the bottom.

My first attempt at building a dry washer was a "super sized" sucker upper model. Used for suck'n dirt an' shit out of cracks an' crevices. Work like a vacuum clean on steroids. 

 Well, the damn thing don't work. Only thing come out the bottom that thing was more dirt. Where the hell my gold? Salvaged what parts I could an' throwed the rest in the dumpster.....$$$$$.

Then I builded the "Gold Machine". That what I call it anyhows. This was my baby....after rebuilding an' modify'n a hunnert times.

As you can plainly see by the dust an' stuff, it's making gold. Ya see, what ya do, is ya throw ya some dirt in the top section, it falls down on the lower section, the lower section wiggles an' vibrates and then, pure gold falls out the bottom.
Well, gold prospect'n ain't really that simple. In fact, it's plumb ass hard work with very little monetary ($$$) reward. If'n ya find enough gold to pay for gas, you do'n a excellent job. Most don't.

 This is what I'm talk'n bout hard work....a hole that big don't dig it's self. 

Before ya haul all your gold prospecting equipment out the back of the truck an' set it all up, ya gotta first find a place that has been proven to have any gold in it. Ya don't just go out in the desert an' start digg'n. Ya got to "prospect" an' take samples for "color". Get on your hands an' knees, smell the dirt, look at the types of rocks, the plants....stuff like that. (Sampl'n is done with a gold pan an' a bunch of water).  If'n ya ain't never operate a gold pan, you'll hate it. Onest you see the first tiny piece of color in your pan, you'll love it. That's where "gold fever" got it's name.

I was prospect'n (search'n for a place to set up the "gold machine") in the Rademacher Hills, a gold bearing set of mountains just south of Ridgecrest Ca. I was look'n for color in my gold pan. Any color as long as it was gold. I fount me some, little pieces of gold in the bottom my pan. Yee haw, I are a prospector. Ok, you heard stories before....bout lost treasure an' lost gold mines. How the hell can I get lost in the Rademacher Hills? I should have mark the location on my BLM maps for when I come back tomorrow with the "gold machine". I never did find that location again.

If'n I was able to dig dirt today, I would be build'n me another "gold machine" an' get'n me some that gold. I be rich in nuttin flat.


Grrrrrrrrr....growl, bark an' stuff.....Dad gum Blogger not work'n again.