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Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Damn mean cat

Ok, that discussion is over with. I'm here to stay come hell or high water. Now, let's get on to other things. You know, like silly stories and nonsense.

Silly stories and nonsense is the meat on my plate. Ain't no meal without it. Some people will sit down to dinner....and eat a salad. Where's the beef??? Ya gotta have some meat.

When I was a little kid, a couple years ago, I always found humor in most every thing what went on around me. That damn "nap'n" cat fell off the TV. Now that's funny no matter how ya look at it. I fell out a tree one time. At the time, it weren't funny at all. You know what I'm talk'n bout, slam'n into them tree limbs and hit'n the ground in a heap. Scrapes an' bruised all over me. But if'n ya knowed the whole story, you would see the humor as I do. Ya see, we had this old mean cat on the farm. You remember that cat, right? The one what didn't like Billy too much. I tormented that cat.....hit bite me too. Anyhows, that cat see me com'n and heads up a tree think'n Billy don't know how to climb a tree. Up that tree I goes...almost to the top where that cat was all puff up mak'n hiss'n sounds at me. Just a little bit farther up that tree an' I grabs that cats tail.....got ya sucker. Ha, that cat jump all over the Billy Bob. Scratch'n an' bite'n. I losed my balance an' I'm headed for the ground....still got that cats tail in a death grip. You git the picture....right?

Speak'n bout that cat. I tole this story a while back, but since we on the subject of "that cat", we gonna tell it again. Ya see, that cat didn't like Billy Bob too much 'cause of the torment I inflicted on him. He was a big ol' cat with long fingernail and fangs for teeth. He scratch an' bite me all the time when I corner him. Anyhows, we had a old wood stove in the middle room what we all sit around at night. That cat was lay'n there on the floor soak'n up the heat....sound asleep. Nows my chance...gonna git that cat...git even. I sneeks up and grabs that cat by the nap an' he come alive...out a dead sleep. He claw me up one side an' down the other. Pops, the man of the house stuffs that cat in a gunny sack an' takes him off down the road. Dumps him at a neighbors farm. That was after Moms beat hell out him with a broom. That cat was gone for bout a couple week or something like that and then one day here come that old "skinny" cat. His attitude done been changed. That old mean cat never scratch an' bite me no more. Well, he never let me get close enough for another encounter....sleeped with one eye open.

Wind blowed like hell yesterday. Good thing I didn't go to the golf ball swak'n place an' lose all my old scratched up golf'n balls. It's time for a new set I rekon. I were sit'n out there on "da porch" when all a sudden here come one them dirt devils through the park. There was dirt, dust, sand an' a few small boulders fly'n through the air. It hit "da porch" like a mini tornado.....stuff fly'n everwheres. I says "what the hell" and it was windy the rest the day.

Ok....got things to do. Texas trip get'n close and I got stuff lay'n everwheres to pick up. Laters.

17 comments:

  1. That struck a chord! I know all about 'em aire cats. :-)

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  2. The stinkin fish are even opening the lid on the ice chest to jump in down here.

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  3. Glad you are staying "on the air"! I think you might get some good gas milage if you can catch a tailwind on the trip to Texas!

    Just a thought!

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    1. One time Jim I had me a tail wind from Fredericksburg to Corpus Christi. I ain't lie'n to ya, I rekon I got a hunnert mile a gallon.

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  4. Don't forget them cats have nine lives and they may come back to get you.

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    1. I'm think'n they did come back Dizzy. In my lifetime I rekon I had me bout 9 cats....give or take. All of 'em had a little bit that mean in 'em.

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  5. Not sure it's the cats with that mean in em..

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  6. It must have been painful for that cat to come slinking back home. I guess he lost some arrogance in that battle.

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  7. Gee Billy Bob we love cats in our home, they don't scratch or bite, now the cat across the street I swear is feral, he comes in and tried to drink water and get some food..He hisses at the other cats and tries to jump them, I always have a spray bottle with water and he gets the point the people who own him saved him from being put down, he thinks he lives here, I don't have the heart to be mean to any kitteh cat..He has a warm box right by our garage, if it gets cold i put him in the garage with a way to get out to do his business, he runs home for food and water most days, when our two kitteh cats died I was in big grief he would come up to me and rub up against me and purr, he knew where they were buried..I have never hit or hurt any animal let alone a kitteh, they adore my husband and he only loves greyhound dogs, but they know he is gentle and would never hurt any human or animal at all...I am not fond of you telling your blog readers you tried to harm a cat who probably had not much to eat and water to drink and a place to be cared for, no I do not, shame on you, that is not the kind of behavior a real gentleman or little boy gentleman should be reminiscing about, cruelty to animals is a precusor to a person harming children and adults and older adults it has been proven..Many killers started out killing animals when they were young..yes they did and bragged about it, then they started killing adults or little people they could lure into whatever they wanted..Please don't write about your beating of a innocent cat at all, it is not funny...Ted Bundy killed animals,so did John Wayne Gacy oh, my God were they horrible people put to death for killing others!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    1. Sorry you missed the humor or point in my post. This mean ol' cat that slept in my bed at night, ate from my plate, followed me most every where I went, was never harassed or harmed in any way. He was my bestest friend, but he was mean as hell. At 5 years old, a rambunctious boy plays a bit more rough with their pets than do older folks.

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  8. Thanks for the good laugh Billy Bob. But man oh man that poor cat. LMAO

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  9. Ya can't please everyone, Bob, so don't even try. I think most of us got the point of "that cat". Keep up the good work!

    Gene

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  10. Love your stories..you are the highlight of our day every day. I read your blog to Eldy and we laugh and laugh. We were a little behind on our reading when we read you were going to stop blogging. Glad to hear you are going to keep going. We LOVE your blog! It's hard when people sometimes misinterpret our writing, but glad you responded to set the story straight. We've met people who have met you and said what a kind, thoughtful, intelligent man you are.

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