Damn mean cat

Ok, that discussion is over with. I'm here to stay come hell or high water. Now, let's get on to other things. You know, like silly stories and nonsense.

Silly stories and nonsense is the meat on my plate. Ain't no meal without it. Some people will sit down to dinner....and eat a salad. Where's the beef??? Ya gotta have some meat.

When I was a little kid, a couple years ago, I always found humor in most every thing what went on around me. That damn "nap'n" cat fell off the TV. Now that's funny no matter how ya look at it. I fell out a tree one time. At the time, it weren't funny at all. You know what I'm talk'n bout, slam'n into them tree limbs and hit'n the ground in a heap. Scrapes an' bruised all over me. But if'n ya knowed the whole story, you would see the humor as I do. Ya see, we had this old mean cat on the farm. You remember that cat, right? The one what didn't like Billy too much. I tormented that cat.....hit bite me too. Anyhows, that cat see me com'n and heads up a tree think'n Billy don't know how to climb a tree. Up that tree I goes...almost to the top where that cat was all puff up mak'n hiss'n sounds at me. Just a little bit farther up that tree an' I grabs that cats tail.....got ya sucker. Ha, that cat jump all over the Billy Bob. Scratch'n an' bite'n. I losed my balance an' I'm headed for the ground....still got that cats tail in a death grip. You git the picture....right?

Speak'n bout that cat. I tole this story a while back, but since we on the subject of "that cat", we gonna tell it again. Ya see, that cat didn't like Billy Bob too much 'cause of the torment I inflicted on him. He was a big ol' cat with long fingernail and fangs for teeth. He scratch an' bite me all the time when I corner him. Anyhows, we had a old wood stove in the middle room what we all sit around at night. That cat was lay'n there on the floor soak'n up the heat....sound asleep. Nows my chance...gonna git that cat...git even. I sneeks up and grabs that cat by the nap an' he come alive...out a dead sleep. He claw me up one side an' down the other. Pops, the man of the house stuffs that cat in a gunny sack an' takes him off down the road. Dumps him at a neighbors farm. That was after Moms beat hell out him with a broom. That cat was gone for bout a couple week or something like that and then one day here come that old "skinny" cat. His attitude done been changed. That old mean cat never scratch an' bite me no more. Well, he never let me get close enough for another encounter....sleeped with one eye open.

Wind blowed like hell yesterday. Good thing I didn't go to the golf ball swak'n place an' lose all my old scratched up golf'n balls. It's time for a new set I rekon. I were sit'n out there on "da porch" when all a sudden here come one them dirt devils through the park. There was dirt, dust, sand an' a few small boulders fly'n through the air. It hit "da porch" like a mini tornado.....stuff fly'n everwheres. I says "what the hell" and it was windy the rest the day.

Ok....got things to do. Texas trip get'n close and I got stuff lay'n everwheres to pick up. Laters.