Yesterday I did something for the old Billy Bob. I went golf ball swak'n. Ya see, since I've been in Deming, I pretty much scheduled all my events around old "pesky neighbor" Wayne. When he pulls up on the golf cart....to pester me, I drop what ever I'm do'n an' we sit on "da porch" tell'n BS stories and a bunch of lies. We don't talk bout current event stories an' stuff like that.....you know, national news, elections an' all the people whats dying every day. BS and lies is the talk of the day.
So, I was sit'n out there on "da porch" sip'n up a cup, an' I says to myself...."I can swak a golf ball bout a mile or more". The reason I think'n that was 'cause I watch golf on the TV over the week end. Inspiration ya know....git all excitis. On the first hole I breaks out that twice modified 3 wood what Barney gifted me with. Swoooosh.....baaamm!!! See that tree over there on the right? That where my ball go. I got a clear shot at the green, although it's a long ways off, so's I break out another club. Swooosh.....baamm!!!. See that tree over there on the left?? Hit that sucker dead center. By the time I finally got a ball on the green, it was way too late to get anywheres close to a par. Damn, we play'n "redneck" golf.
This is pretty much what the rest of the game was like. Hit the ball over there to the right and hit the ball over there to the left. Damn, we play'n "redneck" golf. Things picked up a bit after a few more holes an' end up with a halfways decent score of 94. If'n ya ain't never played golf afore, 94 is a excellent score. But if'n ya have played golf before, ya don't brag or even mention a score of 94. That's just the way it is....golf ball swak'n 101.
All the wonderful comments yesterday made me do some think'n. I didn't have no idea there was so many people watch'n me and my crazy world. Makes a guy stand up an' look in the bushes....see who's out there sneek'n a peek. Or as one the comments say....walk to the front the barn and see what go'n on.
Ya see, the old Billy Bob has got it in his mind that he don't write no good stuff no more. It never cross my mind that people might just stop by to see what's go'n on.....no matter what I write. That makes a old man feel good inside when he thinks he's been "put out to pasture". So.....the old Billy Bob will continue to write.
So get jur Sally on down here for some pasture pool and fish catchin. I need help gettin all the things available to do, done. Like ride dat bike around Charlies Pasture and hit San Juan to make up for it. You'r buyin.
ReplyDeleteYou are good, Bubba. I like reading your stuff; you have a unique style. But when it's not fun any more, it just might be time, as you are doing, to step back and take a look. I write for a living, and beleave me, there are times when it's a real chore. When that happens, I take a break, do something else for a while, much to the disgust of my editors.
DeleteSo go fishing. Play some more golf. Get that bird standing tall. Head out somewhere new. The words will come back. I know they will.
Well now a 94 might be acceptable for 18 holes of swaking, but then if'n it was only 9 holes then that's a different stroke. Couldn't help but notice that you decided not to tell us which it was.
ReplyDeleteBob, the old Billy Bob ain't never swaked 9 holes. That's for girls and old men.
DeleteGlad you decided to keep writing. I do follow your adventures even if you think they are not worth writing about.
ReplyDeleteThe important thing is that you got some exercise and had fun doing it!
ReplyDeleteLife is way too short to worry about the details, ya know?
Exercise??? Billy Bob exercise? I ride in a freak'n cart....right up to the ball. No exercise required.
DeleteYour movin your arms and climbin in and outta the cart. Thats exercise!
DeleteIt's a GOOD day! Glad to know that you're rethinking things. Now that you KNOW how much you are appreciated!! Look forward to following you for a long time to come.
ReplyDeleteBilly Bob put out to pasture???? Hahahaha, that'll be the day. Keep on keeping on.
ReplyDeleteOnly BB could put BB out to pasture.
DeleteHi BB, I see that you read oldfool's blog. I was reading his comments on his last blog and read that he passed on last Sunday (I think). Didn't know if you knew. Brownwood Ed
ReplyDeleteYes Ed, I knew. I had a lot of respect for him and was sad to read he had died.
DeleteGolf?? Is that the game where the looser with the lowest score wins and the winner with the highest score looses?
ReplyDeleteYou don't know much bout sports do ya Dizzy? In base ball, a guy throw a ball at ya. The only defense ya got is a stick what ya can hit the ball with before it knock ya slap out. Then ya better run like hell 'cause they gonna keep throw'n it at ya. Golf is something like that, only the ball is sit'n on a little stick stuck in the ground instead of some guy throw'n it at ya. Ya git to swak that ball as hard ya can swing with the biggest bat ya got in your golf'n bag. If'n it don't go far enough, ya get to swak it again....and again, an' again as many times ya want, until ya finally swak it in that little hole on that really pretty green grass. Oh nevermind, you ain't never gonna learn.
DeleteOut to pasture my hubby who will be 65 on Oct 21st feels like he is out to pasture, the medicare supplement and policy he signed up made us fight like we were to kill each other..The HMO he took out tried to scew me out of coverage and talked to me like I was older than dirt not 65 until may 2013 at that, we got it all straightened out but got a big laugh out of the bull you know what we got from the whole shebang, union place third party administrator got it all fixed up..Did you watch the 60 minutes interview with Arnold S????? Well if you think you are out to pasture that man should be living on Mars, really? Lovechild and all thru his marriage affairs, never told his wife Maria Shriver about his heart operation or anything else of importance no prince and certainly not claiming he is only human, a real class ass you know what...You would not conduct yourself in such a manner, the man has no MORALS, CHARACTER OR MORAL FORTITUDE...your blog is a happy one, even with the comments about your childhood, many can relate to what you went thru..you are a wonderful person, not older than dirt and should be proud you can do what you want with your life with no apologies to anyone and you certainly have the character and morals to live it proudly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteSo, here's a fishing story from wa. and someone who reads you often...This guy goes slmon fishing with a .22 rifle, does it all the time, he says...bullet richosheted..(sp)..wacked back at him, took his eye out..almost kilt him...don't know about the fish....
ReplyDeleteLove your Blog! I read it every day! It makes me smile and sometimes laugh out loud! Please don't stop writing it!
ReplyDeletePatty (Blogless)
ReplyDeleteWell danged if you don't have some of the nicest folk what read your blog!
Billy Bob, I want to tell this true memory of my moma before I head to the backside of the barn to sit a spell. It might interest some folk, some folk might think it totally dumb, but..
When my moma was a youngun she lived in the piney woods of central Louisiana, the year being about 1933. Grandma made cathead biscuits from scratch so my moma and aunt would have something to eat for lunch at school. Let me tell ya, they was so danged poor. But they did have a real water well where you could get a cool drink of the sweetest tasting water, t'werent none no better. They had an outhouse, with scrap papers and such, they was too poor to even get a Sears Roebuck catalog, much less buy from there. It was a two seater till the wood rotted, then was a one seater after my daddy fixed it. I remember fighting off wasps and other little varmits that gave me goosebumps while I in there in the summer. Just thinking on it gives me chills like a possum is walking on my grave! Their clothes was washed in the branch of the creek until grandma got her a wringer washer while in her 40's. She used it to the day she passed on at the age of 86. I remember cranking on that thing till I thought my arm was gonna fall off. Moma and my aunt didn't wear shoes in the summer while walking eight miles to school (eight miles???) They'd save their shoes so to have something on their feet in the winter while walking to school. Back to them cathead biscuits afore I forget...my grandma would get up way afore daylight ever mornin to cook cathead biscuits on a woodstove. I can smell 'em now if I close my eyes. After they'd be done good, browned on top and burnt on the bottom she'd lay 'em out to cool. Then she'd take her thumb and poke a hole right straight down in the top of that biscuit, and would fill the hole up with her homemade mayhaw jelly, the likes of which I ain't never tasted agin. Then the biscuit would be wrapped up in a piece of cloth and put in momas' lunch sack that was made from a real flour sack. Moma'd just die if she knowed that I'd be telling you folks that her 'unmentionables' were made from the very same flour sacks, but it was the need at the time, being how they was dirt poor and all. Many days my moma would get to school and at eating time pull out that folded cloth to find a dried up biscuit with nothing but a thumb hole in it! Wasn't a drop of mayhaw jelly nowheres! Course Grandma was often times forgetful, as I'm getting to be I guess.
So ya' see Billy Bob, what be interesting to some folk may not be interesting to others. We all be raised in different ways, and have different likes an dislikes an such. An those exact differences could very well be what keeps folks coming back to look for ya, seeing what ya got to say or been a doing. I reckon its human nature to want to hear what other folk think and are doing with their days. For some of us its sorta like a breathe of fresh air and gives some of us the chance to be reading bout things that we ain't able to be doing ourselves for some reason or another. Blogging ain't really 'like a box of chocolates' as Forrest Gump says. It's more like getting a cathead biscuit with no jelly in the thumb hole every once in awhile. But you still really like and enjoy that biscuit, and would miss it if you didn't have it!
I'll be looking in on ya now an agin, and it shore is good to hear you gonna stay a spell at your blogging. So instead of going to the back of the barn I'm just gonna walk that far piece up towards the house. Might even see if I can whoop up some of those cathead biscuits like grandma used to make. I'm pondering on whether to bring one or two to my sweet 85 year old moma tomorrow so's I can hear her tell me agin that she walked eight mile to school. Maybe I'll even stick my thumb in 'em!
You take care Billy Bob, and drive careful....
"Just A Little Bit Country'
Sure wish you had a blog, anon... this is good stuff.
DeleteBilly Bob I had been offline for a few days and then I come to read yesterday's post about you wanting to quit blogging and said to myself WTH? We can't always have fun filled days and interested things to blog about on a daily basis but that is life.
ReplyDeleteI just like to drop in and read about what is up on your part of the world even if it is about golf...that I do not know a thing about!
We love you and would certainly miss your blog. How else am I going to know when you are in Del Rio?
I read your every day Billy Bob, love your stories. Can't work without seeing your writing first, therefore if you quit writing I'll never get any work done!
ReplyDeleteCheryle in NC
I've found that skipping a day or so has helped. And like all the rest, i read YOU EVERY DAY!!! If you were boring, do you really think i'd do that???
ReplyDelete