Rio Grande River

Well I sure ain't got much to talk bout today....with all this cold weather we got last night. I'm like, what the hell? At midnight, it was 51 degs. Well I can live with that. But when I got up at 6am for the morn'n ritual in the bathroom, it was 44 degs. I'm go'n back to bed.

I was so hyped up with all the beautiful warm weather we was hav'n that I folded up my two heavy blankets an' stowed them under the bed. This left me with 2 skinny blankets what is good for bout 60 degs.....somewheres round there. Bout 2am, I were stumbl'n round junk on the floor try'n to get them heavy blankets out. It were slap cold back there in the sleep'n quarters. Anyhows.....damn it were cold.

There's a possibility that today may turn out to be a nice day. If'n ya believe the weather forecast thingy, it supposed to get up to 75 today. So far this morn'n there ain't no wind. A little sunshine ever once in a while. I'm think'n...."what if....I launch the "bubba boat"??? Just cain't wait to try out them new modifications.

Did ya see that great big ol' fish what OFM Barney done hook into? Now that what I'm talk'n bout. Great job Barney.  

Speak'n of fish. The Falcon Lake Tackle fish'n report says bass fish'n is look'n up. A few DD's (double digit over 10#) have been caught in the last couple days....in the wind. I'm think'n spawn here in a couple weeks. That means there gonna be some big fat bass up in shallow water "do'n their thang".

I suppose I should make a trip over to the lake. If for nuttin else, but to check out "da rock". You remember that rock don't ya? I placed it on the shore to see how much the lake level was com'n up. It was way hell out in the lake last time I check. But it's gonna take bout 10 feet, or something like that, of water to get back to the level it were last year. I don't think it's gonna happen 'cause Lake Amistad ain't got that much water to release. You did know that Lake Amistad and Falcon Lake are both fed by the Rio Grande River....right??? The Rio Grande also has two names. In America, it's called Rio Grande and in Mexico it's called Rio Bravo del Norte. Just thought you might want to know.
Just in case ya want to know more....http://www.tshaonline.org/handbook/online/articles/rnr05 from the Texas State Historical Association.

Meanest monkey in Texas

What was that???? I were sit'n on the couch....sip'n up a cup ya know, when I hear what sound like a hunnert hunters shoot'n AK47 guns....or something like that. Sound like a war zone....right over there along the border. Then I got to think'n, are we be'n attacked or something? It happened before ya know, over there in Columbus, NM. back in 1916. So why not in south Texas in 2013? Didn't find nuttin on the news bout it this morn'n so it must have been a hunnert hunters shoot'n AK47's.

Then there was the black cat. I just happen to be sit'n here at the computer when I see a black cat out in the yard. Seemed to be a friendly black cat. Didn't seem to be skeered or anything like that. But ya never know till ya pick 'em up an' try to pet 'em. Well, that was bout the time Sadie Mae see that same black cat. She make a bee line out the door....chase that cat plumb across the field do'n a hunnert mile a hour, headed for the woods. Sadie Mae huff'n an' puff'n when she get back. I thought that was kind of funny. She know damn well she ain't gonna never catch no cat. That was her exercise for the day. The entire day.

The winds changed direction last night. Start blow'n out of the north. Nobody tole me nuttin bout no cold front com'n this way....it was start'n to get a bit nippy. 30 mile a hour winds expected by noon today. Last nights low was 54 degs. Weather for the next few days ain't look'n too good with the highs in the mid 70's. Oh, before I forget, yesterday we broke the 90 degs. mark. What ya think bout that? Summer maybe??? By the looks of the weather thingy, it's gonna be Saturday before I can go fish'n again....wind 3 mile a hour.

Did I ever tell ya bout the time......I had a monkey. Meanest gawled damn thing ya ever see. Bite the hell out ya for no reason. Tear stuff up. Climb the walls. Mean like a snake. Called him Monk Monk, short for monkey.

Look something like this...... 

Monkeys stink ya know, 'cause they just don't give a damn. So stink'n monkeys get a bath every other day. But they bite the hell out ya when it was bath time. Boy howdy I mean to tell ya. Had to wear leather gloves. I get bit every other day purty darn good. Little bastard draw blood too. So's I stick his head under water....that fix his ass. That's what I was think'n anyhows. 

I were sit'n on the couch watch'n tv. That monkey jump up there on the back of the couch, grab holt to my ear and bite hell out it. I'm talk'n BITE hard. I grabs holt to him an' give him a fling across the room. He hits the wall, slide down to the floor an' give me some nasty cross eye monkey looks. Never bite my ear no more. But he would sneak up on me, grab a hand full of hair an' run like hell. Mean I'm tell'n ya.

But that wasn't all that monkey done. I walks up to his cage with a glass of iced tea in my hand....to talk to him ya know. Say "how ya do'n ya mean little bastard"...stuff like that. He makes a fly'n leap, grabs all fours on the cage front an' piss all over me. Out of reaction, he is wear'n a full glass of ice cold iced tea all over his skinny little ass. He never piss on me no more.
He catched pneumonia one winter. That what the vet said anyhows. Then one day he was dead. I throwed the darnest party ya ever see.

Love that dawg modifications

Yesterday evening I were feel'n just like a hunnert dollar bill. When ya been down in the dumps for a while and ya do a  project what turns out perfect, ya got good reason to feel good. But then, wouldn't ya know it, something throws a monkey wrench in the works.

First, the monkey wrench. Right bout 2am I were hav'n a dream that I was hav'n another one them backards  leg cramps. I waked up and yeah I was. Then at 6 am, I had me anuther one. So I got up, put me on a pot an' says...."might as well stay up". Don't even suggest I eat up a bunch of bananas 'cause these ain't them kind of cramps.

Now what made me feel like a hunnert dollar bill? Yup....."bubba boat". Ya see, I love my dawg, Sadie Mae. She like to go everwheres with me, go for rides, lay next to me, git under my feet, sleep with me, touch me.....and she like to ride in the "bubba boat". So's I modified the "bubba boat" so the damn dog won't be lay'n in my lap whiles I'm try'n to catch me up a fish. That dog needs to go on a diet....dang!!! Anyhows, I moved the seat and motor mount back bout 8 inches. "That ain't much modification Billy Bob". Well no, it weren't, but it took me all afternoon to do it an' I did it right. That takes time ya know.....sip'n up a cup an' think'n.
Modifications performed by 'Billy Bob Engineering Specialties LLC Inc'.

 This simple modification gives me the option to mount the motor bracket in the forward (original) position or in the rear position, as in the photo....depend'n on if'n I take that fat dog fish'n with me or not.

Since I moved the boat balance point back 8 inches or so, the spare battery will be placed all the ways up there in the front. I'm think'n I got me one mean blow up fish'n machine.

As a test to see how long it takes to dismantle and stow the "bubba boat" in "that jeep", I looks at my watch. 8 minutes to be exact. But boy howdy, I ain't gonna do that no more...I were winded. And this is where them backard leg cramps come from. While pick'n up the rolled up "bubba boat" to throw in the back of "that jeep", my back says...."whoa there Billy Bob, slow down...take it easy". But it were too late, I done pull my old weak lower back.

Now that I'm all excitis bout try'n out the new modifications, the freak'n wind come up. Blowed a hunnert mile a hour last night and ain't slow down enough for a test run this morn'n. But it's warm....72 degs at 7:30 this morn'n.

Ok, here's the deal. Them other BIGGER boats what I were look'n at, what I showed ya yesterday, yeah I would love to have me one them. But then I got to think'n....they gonna be heavier than my Sevylor Rio blowup canoe. They gonna take a bigger motor, a bigger battery, and bigger set of muscles. All of which I ain't got.  

Just in case you want to know, the big fish are show'n up at the lake....take a look at this 11.26'er. Things are pick'n up at Falcon Lake....come on down...catch ya up a fish.

Now that's what I'm talk'n bout.

Boaters delight

If I had only known...... Us old retired folks don't keep track of days like the younger generation do. To us, every day is a ....take your pick of a day. Well, that's what happen yesterday. It was Sunday. But I should have knowed 'cause the day before was Saturday, and I knew it.

Ya see, when I get to think'n bout stuff, what day of the week it is don't make no matter what-so-ever. But in a small town it do. Stores close on Sunday in small towns. Even Gonzale's Auto Part store in Zapata, Texas. And that's where me an' Sadie Mae went. We was on a mission to buy a BIGGER "bubba boat" battery.

After a 60 miles round trip to Zapata an' back, something clicked in my mind....Tractor Supply. They got lawn tractor batteries I betcha. Now we headed off to the south another 6o miles round trip. Just for a battery for the "bubba boat"....and some milk, and some plumb'n fittins, and some Churches chicken. After all those stops, the old Billy Bob was wore slap out and needed some rest.

But "bubba boat" has a new BIGGER battery. Same physical size as the other one, but more "power"....go a hunnert mile a hour an' last all day long.....maybe. Ya see I says maybe??? Well, that don't make no matter 'cause I have TWO batteries now. One for run'n the motor and the other for balance.....and back-up power. "You a genius Billy Bob...who would'a ever think to take two batteries on a fish'n trip"???

I been want'n a bigger boat. One what I have room to move around in an' not worry bout turn'n over an' fall in the water....drown ya know. So's I spend a few hour do'n some research. Hot damn, I want you lookie here at that boat. The guy is stand'n up throw'n his fish'n pole in the water. And he got a dog in the boat.

 Now that's what I'm talk'n bout......

Don't know what go'n on with the weather. Last couple days the wind been blow'n like there was a storm on the horizon or something like that. And it's been "hot". Air cond weather. Low last night was 68 degs, yesterdays high was 88 in Rio Grande City. Boy howdy yee ha....it's summer. 

Modifications

After my great adventure out on Falcon Lake (pirate lake) in the "bubba boat" a couple days ago, I've come to the conclusion....I got to do something different. Although the "bubba boat" is a perfect example of a 'redneck' bass fish'n boat, some "modifications" are in order. First off, it needs to go much faster than what it do now. That means I need me a bigger motor. A bigger motor would require a bigger battery. A bigger battery would require a bigger battery charger. A bigger battery charger would require bigger solar panels.....and so on an' so forth. All that just to go faster.

But a faster boat is not the only requirement for a great day of fish'n in a little 10 foot trolling motor powered fish'n boat.....like the "bubba boat". For an enjoyable and excit'n family outing out on the water, a well designed boat needs to have ample room for each family member to stretch out and relax. The "bubba boat" does not have this added feature. So what to do??? Modify, that's what. Or....make the purchase of a bigger boat. I have both options....and to hell with the cost...I'm go'n fish'n.

Now when ya modify something like a boat, ya gotta take many things into consideration. You know like....am I gonna sink an' drown. Or is the "bubba boat" gonna just go in little circles like it did on the first modifications I made (which further modifications corrected that problem). A blow up boat has a design feature built in. It's called balance. Too much weight foward and the bow is under water.....ya sink. Too much weight in the back, the stern is under water....ya sink. So here's what I'm think'n....move the seat back a foot and put a big ol' heavy battery up front. That looks like balance to me. And there would be room for my entire family (me an' Sadie Mae) to lay back an' relax. "Damn Billy Bob, you're a genius....you gonna sink an' drown".

That's enough boat talk for one day....but stay tuned.

Yesterday was another beautiful south Texas day. Other than the wind what was blow'n up a storm. You know, blow the "bubba boat" all the ways to Mexico an' never get back. But all that wind is gone this morn'n. Look'n like a good day for fish'n. Oh wait, that little breeze is pick'n up out there. There goes fish'n.

So, what will the old Billy Bob be do'n today? Since I missed the morn'n Sunday go to meet'n. I rekon I'll just sit back, sip me up a cup an' do a little think'n. It's still early enough I could go to town an' spend some hard earn cash......you know, donuts an' stuff like that. Speak'n of donuts, I need some new milk. I pick up the jug last night an' that milk come out in chunks. Tasted terrible too. Anyhows, I ain't got nuttin planned.

There this big ol' diesel powered motor home pull in yesterday. Set up camp just up the street a piece....walk'n distance. He come this little old man walk'n his dog "Yuma" down to "Sally da house". I'm think'n bout 67 or 68 year old. We talk a while. Then he says he's 83 year old. I was think'n..."damn, he sure do hold his age good". So ya see, even old people still travel all round the country. And that got me to think'n.....I can do that. I rekon I can count my lucky stars that I don't have me a little piece of property somewheres. I probly sit my ass down in a old rock'n chair on the front porch an' shrivel up an' die. Buy me a tractor though.

Ok....let's do something......laters.   

"bubba boat" launch

For those that desire to to read  "Billy'the kid'Bob" in it's entirety....just click the name.

Now on with the regular day by day adventures or not-adventures of Billy Bob's & Sadie Mae's blog. We are a team ya know. Damn dog goes everwheres with me, eats the same food I eat, sleeps in my bed....talks to me when I'm lonesome. Sadie Mae is a good dog.

Ain't no use report'n on the weather. It's beautiful an' that all that matters.

Me an' Sadie Mae loaded up "that jeep" an' headed for the lake. I was think'n fish, but she had no idea what we was gonna do. When I started unload'n stuff, I rekon she thought "he's gonna get in that damn "bubba boat" an' he ain't gonna never come back". She laid down in the front seat.

I took my time sort'n out all the required parts to put the "bubba boat" in work'n order...this goes here an' that goes there. "Where the hell is my blow up pump"???

All necessary gear loaded ready for launch......we go'n fish'n. 

I drags the "bubba boat" out in the water. Here come Sadie Mae...."I wanna go, please, can I go tooo....please". So's I load up the damn dog. All systems go. Turn on the little fish finder thingy and we look'n for fish. Well hell, there ain't none...."oh wait, there's one". By now we are a hunnert mile from shore. Sadie Mae look at me an' says....."where your life jacket"??? Oh damn, knowed I would forget something.

Look'n back....we out to sea. Just Sadie mae an' me.

We trolled around out there for a couple hour, chunk'n lures everwhere....drag'n some in the bottom. Ain't catched up nuttin...."OH WAIT....FISH ON, LOOK OUT, FISH ON". I were excitis. Never mind, he got off. One more little bite an' I says "we need to go deeper". So we head farther out to sea. Ten minutes later.....what the hell, we ain't mov'n nowheres. We dead in the water. Freak'n battery is deader than a fence post. "Row, row, roll your boat, gently down the stream".....holy crap Sadie Mae, we got a quarter mile to go. I paddles an' paddles for bout 20 minute an' we finally make it safely back to shore, right where I park "that jeep". I can drive a boat ya know.
Have ya ever see a 71 year old man paddle a boat??? It ain't a pretty sight. In fact, it's downright scary. I were plumb wored slap out. Sadie Mae lay there on my lap, just look'n at me...."are we there yet"??? Ain't never gonna take a dog fish'n no more. "Bigger boat Billy Bob, bigger boat".

Now I got to figger out how I'm gonna charge that fence post dead battery. But how comes the battery was dead? Well, I'm think'n that damn fish finder thingy eat up all the amps thingys. "Bigger battery Billy Bob, bigger battery".

Oh, did I mention the water level done come up some more? That rock is out there somewheres....right up close to the ol' dead tree stob.

And then when we got back to "da house", I says..."what's for dinner honey". Ok, how bouts some grilled ham steak an' some stuff. Ya see, when ya buy a ham steak, they got it all injected full of water. Don't ask me why 'cause I ain't got no idea. But ya gotta get that water out. An' the bestest place to do that is on the grill. That what I did. In the mean time, what goes good with ham steaks? Macaroni, maters an' green beans....all mix together. Yum boy howdy, we gonna be make'n this again. It were delicious. All season up just right with a handfull of coarse grinded pepper and salt to taste.

Billy 'the kid' Bob

Billy 'the kid' Bob stepped out of the door of the cafe on to the boardwalk. He squinted his eyes into the bright sunshine. A toothpick hang'n from his lips, a smile on his face. He was think'n of the cute little waitress that brung him his breakfast. And that where his thoughts lay. He wandered off to the west at a slow easy step, his spurs jingl'n with every step upon the wooden boardwalk.

Billy 'the kid' Bob weren't a big feller. His height reach'n 5 foot 9 inch in his scuffed up high rise rid'n boots with a added ince for good measure. Soak'n wet he would weigh in right at 145 pounds. On his right hip hung a Model P 1873 Colt Frontier with a 7 inch barrel 44-40 caliber single action pistol. It was carried in a well oiled leather holster tied down just above the knee. His trail worn and faded jeans tucked into the tops of his boots. On his head he wore a black narrow brim Mexican sombrero with a silver hat band and little ball thingys hang'n off the edge. One distinctive bullet hole marked the center of its crown. This was "the kid"....Billy 'the kid' Bob.  

Just a few doors down was the town water hole, The Giddy-up Saloon. A  loud roar could be heard from behind the bat wing swing'n doors. Out stomped Dead Eye Dick. The ugliest man in the west. His straw like hair stood out from under his tattered, torn and sweat stained Texas ten gallon hat. His face was covered with scars from long past knife, fist and a recent axe fight. One ear was missing. His nose rested on his left cheek. He let out another blood curtling roar liken to a grizzly bear what had stubbed it's toe. He was mad. Stomp'n mad. People were scramb'n out of his way as he shoved his way through the crowd, swing'n his fists at anyone within reach. On his hips he wore a brace of short nose 45 caliber Army Colts, tied down just above the knees. 

As Billy 'the kid' Bob continued to stroll down the boardwalk, his mind was preoccupied with thoughts of the cute little waitress that had brung him his breakfast. He had no awares of the approaching mad man, the ugliest man in the west. 'Dead eye' took up most the boardwalk with his broad upper body and as they passed each other, they brushed shoulders ever so lightly.

With his preoccupation, eyes still a glow, 'the kid' continued on with his stroll down the boardwalk. 'Dead eye" had came to a abrupt halt, stomped his feet an' let out another blood curtling roar.

"HEY" he screamed at the top of his lungs. 'The kid', realiz'n he had erred in his ways, turned and voiced a quiet "escuse me". Then continued on...still preoccupied.  "YOU", "PIP SQUEEK", I'M TALK"N TO YOU", he yelled.

'Dead eye", steam flar'n from his flattened nostrils shouted, "YOU PUSHED ME". No one had ever pushed 'dead eye' and lived to tell about it. He was mean....and the ugliest man in the west. Again he yelled, "YOU, PIP SQUEEK, I'M TALK"N TO YOU" Now Billy 'the kid' Bob had a thing bout name call'n and pip squeek rattles his bones. Two times this mad man had called him that name. A name lower than a rattlesnakes belly. His spurs begun to jingle, the rowels was set to spin'n. His muscles tightened. He slowly turned to face Dead Eye Dick, the ugliest man in the west.

The kid looked Dead Eye right square in the eye with a bit of scorn on his face. Then gave Dead Eye a quick once over from head to foot. "I don't like no name call'n, feller, so don't do that no more, Ok"?, said the kid. 

Dead eye laugh one them roar'n laughs of his "HAR HAR HAR". He was on a roll now, enjoy'n his self like a hog eat'n slop. "Nah nah nah....pip squeek, pip squeek, pip squeek" roared dead eye with a big ol' possum grin on his face. I'm gonna blast ya plumb full of holes with these here shoot'n guns of mine"

That was the last straw for Billy 'the kid' Bob. He had done took all the tak'n he could stand. So 'the kid' began to explain. "Feller....ya see this here big ol' hedgehog 44-40 I got here hang'n in my hip?"
"Ain't that kind of a big shoot'n iron for a little pip squeek like you to be tote'n round?"  "har har har", replied dead eye.
"Why, I can shoot the eye out a horny toad at 50 yeards with this here big ol' gun" "Drive a nail in a fence post at a hunnert yards" Place two bullets one on top the other shoot'n over my shoulder"
Why, I could shoot that gold tooth right out your mouth an' you never feel it"...esclaimed 'the kid'.
 Things were get'n a mite thick now as 'dead eye, sneered. "Har har har", said he.

"Why feller, I'm so fast, even lightning don't strike anywheres near me". "I can draw this gun so fast, all you gonna see is a streak of blue pass yer bloodshot eyes".....said 'the kid'.
"The ways I see it...feller, is you got two choices, make yer play an' eat lead or walk away an' live to see tomorrow".

Well, all this talk bout straight shoot'n, faster than lightning and his gold tooth, an' stuff like that, got old 'dead eye' to think'n, "is this pip squeek kid as good as he says he is, and am I as mean as I think I am"??? With that thought, 'Dead Eye' Dick softly says..."well, you be careful where you walk from now on....OK?" He then turns, walks across the street to his await'n swayback hoss an' gallops out of town. 

Wyatt Earp, a longtime friend of Bill 'the kid' Bob steps out of the shade an' says...."damn kid, I thought you was surely a goner. At that, 'the kid' replies, pull'n the huge hedgehog 44-40 from his hip, look'n it over...."how ya work one these here thangs"????

It's summer in south Texas...well almost

Now that I have "that other stuff" out of the way, let's make a feeble attempt at a blog post.

The OFM Barney is experiment'n with a change to the format of his blog. All I can do is ask...."why"?

I would rekon that each blogger wants to make things easier for themselves and also for their readers. Brew'n up a blog post takes special ingredients. In my case, a little bit of redneck, a pinch of "cuss'n", a handfull of humor, a bit of BS. then dilute said mixture with some good ol' honest to goodness "stretch the truth". In about that order. Now I ain't say'n I would ever tell a outright lie to ya, but theres always a thin line between what's real an' what ain't. With proper "seasoning", any truth can be made into questionable results, but still remain truth.    

Rolled out of bed this morn'n to another very nice look'n day. Other than the fog, what lifted before finish'n my first cup 'o, it's look'n to be hot again today. Was up to 87 yesterday afternoon rather ya like it or not. I liked it. Was a little too much wind to launch any kind of water craft, but there ain't a whisper of a breeze out there this morn'n.

I ain't got no idea a'tall what I'm gonna do today. I got a big ol' basket of stink'n clothes back there that need to go to the laundry, but it's too nice a day for that. Sunshine gonna be com'n out here in a bit. I'm think'n a ride over to the lake. Look for critter tracks an' maybe take Sadie Mae for a "bubba boat" ride. As far as fish'n, there ain't no sense in that. The damn fish ain't bite'n.

I been hav' the darnest time try'n to figger a way to post the continue'n sage of "Billy the kid' Bob" without offending anybody. As a kid, I was bullied by school yard thugs because of my small stature....skinny and short. Got me a few lumps an' bumps along the way too. Although, I did have to whoop a couple them bullies onect or two times. But mostly I either talk my way out of being bullied or I run like hell. And that where I got my idea for this story. So here what I'm think'n....write the entire story on a separate post, and those that were offended by the first part, have the option to not read it. But I bet ya a dollar, they watch TV an' don't change the channel.


Yesterday afternoon I thought I were gonna die. Bout 1 oclock pm, my stomach was hurt'n up a storm, I was weak an' got all dizzy. So's I lay down. Four hour later I wakes up all sweaty with chills. What the hell??? I take me up some alka-seltzer an' by 6pm I were all right again. Just like nuttin happen. An' I were hungry. But I weren't sleepy.

 What the hell.....where this guy come from???

Them green jays come back for a visit. They sure are a purty bird. If'n you was to Google "green jay", you'll find out that their habitat only ranges into south Texas. Very interesting!!!

Ok....off to see the wizard....or something like that.

Tasteless tales of the west...

I were really disappointed....an' that's all I have to say bout that.

A quick look out the winders this morn'n reminded me that all days aren't always good days. It's foggy out there and I do mean foggy. 100 feets visability. But....as always, the fog will go away. Always has, always will.
Low temp last night was 62 degs. This is what boondock'n is all about. Camp'n in a well known area that is "warm" when compared to the colder climates of the north.....where water lines freeze and it snows. Presently it is 64 degs....and the fog has lifted. See, I tole you!!! 

If there were a rating system for blogs, I wonder where my blog would stand in such a system. Realizing there are different kinds of people with different backgrounds and different tastes, I attempt to cater to them all. Since there's a possibility I may have a little redneck in me, I tend to swing that way as I type. You know...."hey Bubba, watch this".

I don't publicize my views on politics, of which, 50% would be in disagreement. Religion is a subject in which I keep to myself. No discussion there.
I write as if the words were roll'n off my lips....with a little spicy seasoning and a touch of humor added. I spell by the way the words sound. There ain't no violence or mayhem in my writings, or in the way I speak....matter of fact. Although, you may find a slight hint of "mischievous deeds". Guns? Oh hell yes I have guns. I love guns. "Hey Bubba, watch this". Bout 50/50 here don't ya think?
I'm not a crazy person. But I do attempt to give that illusion of confusion in my writing. I'm as normal as any other redneck raised in the south.

And that brings me to question, is the story of "Billy 'the kid' Bob" the correct (PC) piece of historical literature to present on my blog. It contains a slight hint of violence (bully'n), guns are mentioned and of course, it's strictly fiction.

Yesterday even'n I was sit'n outside sip'n up a cup and had me some chicken on the grill. The damn grill catched on fire.....pooof, just like that. But you already knowed that would happen. Chicken has to be grilled at a precise temperature. Low enough so's it don't catch a fire and high enough to thoroughly cook the meat. There is no in between. But I ain't talk'n bout MY grill here. The "billy grill" has a mind it's own....gonna do whatever it damn well pleases to do. Don't have to adjust nuttin. Just turn it on an' it slap burn up anything ya put on it. Chicken come out perfect by the way.

Did I ever tell ya bout the time....I got banned from the St. Holiness Catholic Church???  I'll keep that story in mind until after I finish the tasteless tale of "Billy 'the kid' Bob". So stay tuned....don't touch that dial.  

 

Billy"the kid"Bob

Well I want you lookie here....sunshine. And the weather thingy said fog. Go figger.
60 deg low for last night. Ain't narry a thang wrong with that.

Talked to my boys up in Iowa. They both got electrician jobs up there. Sure make their daddy happy. "Send me some money boys". It were a bit nippy up there in in the tundra....or what ever ya wanna call it. Something like 20 degs for the warmest part of the day. Ha....and they want me to come visit....go fish'n....RIGHT!!!

Just a quick note here, the lake has rizen. Damn....ain't rizen a real word??? Come on spell check, do something. Look'n to me like it come up another 3 or 4 inches. Seen a few fish jump'n in shallower water. Weren't no new critter tracks. All is well.

Billy 'the kid' Bob steped out of the door of the cafe on to the boardwalk. He squinted his eyes into the bright sunshine. A toothpick hang'n from his lips, a smile on his face. He was think'n of the cute little waitress that brung him his breakfast. And that where his thoughts lay. He wandered off to the west at a slow easy step, his spurs jingl'n with every step upon the wooden boardwalk.

Billy 'the kid' Bob weren't a big feller. His height reach'n 5 foot 9 inch in his scuffed up high rise rid'n boots with a added ince for good measure. Soak'n wet he would weigh in right at 145 pounds. On his right hip hung a Model P 1873 Colt Frontier with a 7 inch barrel 44-40 caliber single action pistol. It was carried in a well oiled leather holster tied down just above the knee. His trail worn and faded jeans tucked into the tops of his boots. On his head he wore a black narrow brim Mexican sombrero with a silver hat band and little ball thingys hang'n off the edge. One distinctive bullet hole marked the center of its crown. This was "the kid"....Billy 'the kid' Bob.   

Just a few doors down was the town water hole, The Giddy-up Saloon. A  loud roar could be heard from behind the bat wing swing'n doors. Out stomped Dead Eye Dick. The ugliest man in the west. His straw like hair stood out from under his tattered, torn and sweat stained Texas ten gallon hat. His face was covered with scars from long past knife, fist and a recent axe fight. One ear was missing. His nose rested on his left cheek. He let out another blood curtling roar liken to a grizzly bear what had stubbed it's toe. He was mad. Stomp'n mad. People were scramb'n out of his way as he shoved his way through the crowd, swing'n his fists at anyone within reach. On his hips he wore a brace of short nose 45 caliber Army Colts, tied down just above the knees.  

As Billy 'the kid' Bob continued to stroll down the boardwalk, his mind was preoccupied with thoughts of the cute little waitress that had brung him his breakfast. He had no awares of the approaching mad man, the ugliest man in the west. 'Dead eye' took up most the boardwalk with his broad upper body and as they passed each other, they brushed shoulders ever so lightly.

With his preoccupation, eyes still a glow, 'the kid' continued on with his stroll down the boardwalk. 'Dead eye" had came to a abrupt halt, stomped his feet an' let out another blood curtling roar. 

"HEY" he screamed at the top of his lungs. 'The kid', realiz'n he had erred in his ways, turned and voiced a quiet "escuse me". Then continued on...still preoccupied.  "YOU", "PIP SQUEEK", I'M TALK"N TO YOU", he yelled.

'Dead eye", steam flar'n from his flattened nostrils shouted, "YOU PUSHED ME". No one had ever pushed 'dead eye' and lived to tell about it. He was mean....and the ugliest man in the west. Again he yelled, "YOU, PIP SQUEEK, I'M TALK"N TO YOU" Now Billy 'the kid' Bob had a thing bout name call'n and pip squeek rattles his bones. Two times this mad man had called him that name. A name lower than a rattlesnakes belly. His spurs begun to jingle, the rowels was set to spin'n. His muscles tightened. He slowly turned to face Dead Eye Dick, the ugliest man in the west.

to be continued.....

Now that I got your attention, what's for supper? I'm think'n maybe some grilled up chicken with tater wedges. What ya think???

While I was sit'n out under the trees sip'n up a cup, I got to think'n...."maybe I should move "da house". Ya see, the sunshine don't bear down on the solar panels the entire day. There's a damn tree in the way what shades the panels right bout 3:30 oclock. The morn'n sun ain't got enough energy untill somewheres bout 11:30am. so's I only get 4 hours of good sun. An' everbody knows, that ain't enough sun to charge the batteries. On another note, I pretty much decided that the charge controller is gonna get replaced. Damn thing don't register the same voltage as at the batteries. That ain't right. There goes another 68 gallons of gas I could have used to go down the road a piece.....bout $230 dollar worth.....with ship'n.

Butterflies, rocks and a nap

Well here it are a brand new day right on the border of Mexico. How close do ya say? Well 'cord'n to my estimations, I would rekon bout 2 mile from where I'm camped.....right across the Falcon dam, give or take. Now the reason I brung this up is that Falcon Lake is dangerous place to be bass fish'n. There's pirates in them waters. Steal all your money if'n ya can't out run pirate speed boats. Ain't been much in the neews for the last couple years of such occurrences, but I betcha a dollar, they still out there look'n for an easy take. Like a "bubba boat". That why I don't go out there when the wind could blow me to the other side.

Need I say more. I'm think'n Joey was right. Somebody sneeked down there and move my rock.
For all ya engineer people, how much water came into the lake over night? To help ya out a bit, the lake is bout 35 miles long an' probly average maybe 2 mile wide. That rock was bout 6 inch thick....or something like that (water level came up bout 4 inch).

Today started out same as yesterday, no sunshine. Low last night was 58 degs.

While I was at the lake yesterday, I went off track'n again. You know, just to see what critters may have visited the shoreline for a drink. Weren't a new track one. Same ol' ones what was there the day before. Speak'n of tracks, I'm think'n that other track was a girl coyote....long finger nails ya know. But then, somebody suggested it was a Chupacabra. Now what kind of nonsense is that? Everbody know there ain't no such thing as a Chupacabra. Sheesh!!! I rekon I ain't the only one that don't know nuttin bout critter tracks.

I was just sit'n there look'n out across the lake. Just mind'n my own business think'n bout that 14 pounds bass I gonna catch up. A hour later I waked up. I were actually watch'n a little boat out there fish'n in the same place I see all them fish jump'n the day before. He never catch a damn thing.


In the State Park is a little butterfly village. So's I stop off an' take a look. Yup, there was butterflies fly'n all over the place. Little ones what would'n sit still for a photo opp. So I says to hell with it. Stupit butterflies.

Now if'n I was a butterfly, this is where I would hang out. People take my picture....stuff like that.

Track'n critters

Ah, is today some kind of holiday or something??? I'm pretty much sure it's Monday morn'n, but how comes nobody tole me it's a holiday....or something like that????

Well shoot, what go'n on? The sky is fall'n or something like that....full of freak'n clouds. Ain't no sunshine an' it ain't even 70 degs yet.

Now let me tell ya bout yesterday. Couldn't ask for a better day. Got up right bout 80 degs, short sleeve weather. Sun tans an' stuff like that. By the time me and Sadie Mae got to the lake, the wind done started blow'n. That always scare hell out me if'n I'm out in the middle of the lake in a blow up boat. You know, wind blow the "bubba boat" all the ways to Mexico an' then splain'n to the Federales what the hell I do'n over there. So I didn't launch the "bubba boat" an' go fish'n.....out of fear of go'n to jail in Mexico. I ain't skeered of drown'n or nuttin like that 'cause I got me a life jacket in the boat. But anyhows, I sit there on the hood of "that jeep" just daydream'n. You know what I'm talk'n bout. Watch'n big ol' bass fish jump'n all over the place out there.

Speak'n of fish. I don't know how many time I got to tell ya, but the old Billy Bob is a "catch and release" fisherman. A sportsman. I don't eat bass. I don't like bass. They taste like water. I don't like water.

While me an' Sadie Mae was walk'n along the shore line, we notice some critter tracks. Yes Barney, the old Billy Bob walk way the hell an' gone down there and back. Then I got to think'n, follow them tracks. I'm a tracker ya know. Graduate from Bob an' Teds online track'n school in Waco Texas. One of them tracks I rekoned was from either a dog or a coyote. But for track'n purposes, I'm gonna say coyote. Tracks went right into the weeds where I lost all sign in the dry hard ground.

But then there was another critter track. First I was think'n raccoon, but a quick Google search....it weren't no raccoon.

So what the hell is it?? A bob cat??? Well, I Google that too. Don't look the same to me. Any ideas????
I guess I ain't really no tracker if'n I don't know what I'm track'n.

OFM Barney email me tell'n me they drain'n Lake Amistad an' all that water is gonna come to Falcon Lake. Ok. Well I decided I would see just how much all that water makes it way down here. So's I mark the level yesterday.

See that big ol' rock? I toted that sucker a hunnert mile to place right on the waters edge. Sadie Mae check'n it out.....says "what the hell this rock for"? Dogs don't no nuttin.....damn!!! On my next trip to the lake an' if'n that rock is under water, the lake done come up. I'm a genious ya know. Who would'a ever thought of that trick?

Remember I was tell'n ya I was gonna grill me up some pork chops? Well, I didn't. I cut 'em in little bitty pieces an' make me a Mexican dish out them. I'm think'n maybe I invented it, but ya never know, them Mexicans do know how to cook some good eat'n. It were something like carne quisada (meat chunks and gravy), but knock yer socks off kind'a hot. Boy howdy I mean to tell ya. Too much that Louisiana Red I betcha. Long with can of corn, a couple big ol' flour tortillas, yum boy howdy eat'em up. That what I gonna eat here in just a little bit before I head over to the lake. Check my rock ya know.

Nasty nasty steak

I don't know....maybe just sit around an' do nuttin. Ya know, I'm get'n pretty good at that. I don't have to do no housework 'cause there ain't gonna be nobody com'n by to visit. Ain't got no chores what has to be took care of this very instant. Life is good when ya know how to handle it. Relax, take it easy....do nuttin.

Speak'n of chores. Remember them two steaks I took out the freezer yesterday? Them are the most god awful look'n steaks I ever see in my whole life. Weren't the right color. Feel kind of slimy. Was full of water. I'm talk'n bad ass nasty. But I cook them suckers up anyhows....throwed 'em on the grill. Then I ate one. Ha, this ain't steak. This is a old chunk of road kill 18 wheeler tire tread. Good thing I boiled me up some taters an' made some gravy.

Now that got me to think'n. I bought these things at Walmart. In a big ol' box advertis'n corn fed super delicious top sirloin steak. All wrap up in air tite vacuum baggie thingys. Wouldn't you think these would be super delicious steaks grilled up on the barbie? Ain't never gonna make that mis'steak' again. It ain't really got a thing to do with Walmart neither. These are the same boxed up steaks found in any big super market. I would be almost will'n to bet a dollar they come from China though. Maybe they was Chinese oxen or a yak....something like that. What ya think???

I been think'n since I love my coffee....what ever happened to Arbuckles coffee? Arbuckles is the original cowboy coffee ya know. A quick Google search and "MY GOD", that stuff is $18 a pound....plus ship'n. I ain't never taste Arbuckles coffee....alway stick with the cheap stuff Folgers classic roast an' Maxwell House. I like a rich body coffee with plenty kick to it. And I don't find that in the cheap coffee no more. Kind of tastes like they wash the beans in kerosene or something like that. Wonder if'n I can find some Arbuckles in one the big grocery chains? I deserve a good cup of coffee.

If'n I can believe the weather forecast thingy, we got another great week ahead of us. Last nights low was 51 degs, so that was good. Look'n like another close to 80 day again today. That's sit'n outside weather ya know.

Speak'n of sit'n outside, I charge up the "bubba boat" battery yesterday. Hook it up to the solar panels with a set of jumper cables. There ain't no wind this morn'n, so I maybe/might go over to the lake and launch the "bubba boat". Take me a fish pole along just in case I see a fish jump'n round out there. I'm think'n it's bout time the old Billy Bob catched him up a great big ol' bass fish. Hell, even a little one would be OK too.

I'm think'n a grilled up fat pork chop for supper tonight. Baked tater and maybe some corn. I sure as hell ain't gonna eat this other steak I got left from yesterday. Sadie Mae???? She like steak.

Ok, I'm gone....out of here...do something. Laters.

Too hot in "da house"...

All I really wanted to say yesterday was that I only get on the internet in the morn'n to read the blogs and such. I don't see none the comments until the next morn'n. And by then it's too late to reply to any. Since I'm boondock'n, and if'n I recall, I said I said I weren't gonna mention no more bout boondock'n, any internet surf'n after dark has been kept to a minimum or none at all. My batteries cain't keep up with the high amp draw of this computer, an' I mean to tell ya, it do draw some amps. With the few days of sunshine we been hav'n, the batteries are back up to "turn sumthin on" status.

Got up this morn'n right bout 6am to do my nightly relief thing an' I was think'n, do I stay up or go back to bed. One quick glance outside settled that question right now. It were still dark out there.....enough said. I don't do dark. Couple more hours in the warm comfort of the bed I finally gets up. It were a chilly 44 dges last night and a expected 76 for the day.

Since it was such a nice day yesterday, me an' Sadie Mae took us a ride over to the State park. Everthing look the same as it did the last time we was over there. Cain't rightly say if'n the lake level has come up or not, but from what the banks showed me, it's been go'n both ways.....up an' down. There was some fish jump'n out there, so that's a good sign. Means the fish are com'n in closer to shore. Not quite wading distance yet, but I rekon if'n I was to get in the "bubba boat".....well, you know what I'm talk'n bout. "Yo Billy Bob, did ya charge the boat battery"??? Well hell no. So charg'n the boat battery is on the agenda. Hmmmmm, jumper cables hook up to the solar panels. That might work....what ya think?

Ok, I'm burn slap out on the big ol' pot of beef stew soup. Done ate all I could stand. As much as I hate it, I got to toss the rest in the dumpster. No I don't freeze stuff like what a lot of other people do. Changes the taste of it an' if'n it don't taste just like the day I make it, I don't eat it. Simple as that. I'll save a bit for Sadie Mae and call it a done deal. She says she like my cook'n no matter what it taste like. Breaked out a couple steaks for supper just in case it's still warm enough to grill later on. One for tonight an' one for tomorrow.

I sure did like read'n all the comments bout why people blog. What started out as a record an' a family thing, turn into a full fledged "look out world, here come the Billy Bob". Insert your own name in place of mine an' we be just fine with that. What other people think do make a difference in what I write, so's I try not be offensive or nuttin like that. But then, there are some times I probly piss some folks off by the ways I say stuff. But shoot, the old Billy Bob is harmless. Give him a break, he'll be OK tomorrow.

Speak'n of photos/pictures/pics, or what ever ya want to call them, I took my camera with me yesterday. Ya cain't take no pictures with dead batteries. You would think that with the technology what we got today, they could come up with a blink'n light thingy or something like that what says....charge the freak'n batteries. But no, all it gots is when ya turn it on, it says....low batteries. Buy then, you're a hunnert mile from the battery charger want'n to take some excit'n pics of stuff.   

Ok....get'n way too hot in "da house". Gonna have to go outside to cool down a bit. Sit under the trees sip'n up a cup and think'n. Speak'n of which, water is the problem with my coffee. Brewed me up half a pot on the stove yesterday. Holy crap, I done put way too many grinds in there....strong like bull. But anyhows, using the store bought little bottles of water, my coffee is drinkable.

Why do ya blog???

Maybe ya ain't noticed, but I've been limiting my internet time to early morn'ns. Well, I call it early anyhows. First thing I do, after the coffee pot make it's first perk, is attempt to get this computer out of hibernation. The hard drive should be named Billy Bob Jr.....slow an' "do'n nuttin". After a good 10 or 15 minutes, walla, I'm online for another excit'n day of "web surf'n"....or what ever ya wanna call it.

I been wonder'n....no not Dizzy Dick wonder'n, but why do we write blogs? Had me a big ol' discussion, questions an' answers, with myself bout that last night....between chapters in a rough an' tumble shoot 'em up western cowboy book. If'n ya pay close attention, roughly 50% of blogs are wrote by single people. Single people are the ones what ain't got nobody tell'n 'em what to do, when to do it and how to do it. I 'member one time when I weren't single, I took my wife fish'n with me. Boy howdy don't ever do that again. She says..."how do ya put the bait on the hook"? I shows her. The next time we go fish'n together, baiting the hook was done by her specifications. Sheesh!!!
Got off track there a little bit......but anyhows, what are people look'n for when they blog?. A means of communication? That works for me being single an' all, an' ain't got nobody to talk to other than a damn old dawg what don't speak no English.
A personal record of events in your life? Possibly, but not likely in most cases. Reason I say unlikely is if'n that was the case, you wouldn't be shar'n it in a blog.
A way to vent your frustrations to the world? I seen plenty of these in my internet travels. Ain't sure this is a ligament excuse for blog'n. Some of 'em are downright disgust'n.
I'm think'n it more along the lines of shar'n your life experiences with others. Open book ya might say. Is in my case anyhows. I don't mind people see'n me as I am. Sides that, I like to write.    

Well, I probly mess that up big time, but what the hell. Everbody got their reasons for writ'n a blog and for what ever reason they have, I enjoy the hell out'a read'n them.

What brings back up, what I do in the mornings. A good hour or more is spent on read'n blogs. See I tole ya I read blogs. Then I spend bout another hour on Facebook read'n all the silly stuff people post on there. Hard to believe what people think an' say. And some these are my friends and family.....damn!!! Also on Facebook, I read biased opinions on the daily news. So I done shot a hour or so on crap I would never bring up in a person to person contact. By this time, I got my crooked eye open an' look'n straight ahead....I hit the network news an' stock market reports. There goes another hour of biased opinion on the news of the day. Talk'n bout the comments what people write. That's a daily must read. Make me grin a little bit. By this time, the morn'n is half gone. And I still got a blog post to write.

Before I forget, last night before I wrap up everthing an' go to bed (11:30pm), it were 52 degs outside. I'm think'n it ain't gonna be a cold night. Well it were, if'n 40 degs is cold. Got all the ways up to 77 degs yesterday afternoon. Sunshine all day long. An absolutely beautiful day. And that what the weather forecast call for for the next week or so. Now if'n them damn fish would just go on their spawn....catch me up that 14 pounds bass ya know.

Falcon Lake, the #1 bass fish'n lake in Texas. Not only in numbers, but in size. Now there probly gonna be some controversy when I says Falcon Lake, but I'm gonna tell ya right now, in my book, it is #1. Of course, I got proof of that from last year. I done fished plenty lakes in Texas an' maybe catch me up a few small keeper bass, but at Falcon lake, I catched me up close to a hunnert bass last year.....right out of the "bubba boat". An' some of 'em was well over keepers. When I says keepers, I ain't talk'n bout tak'n them home an' eat'n 'em. Bass tastes like water, an' I don't like water. Catch, take a pic and release. I guess ya remember last year when I doused my camera with water? Missed a real life photo of the biggest bass I ever catched in my life. You believe that right??? Hee hee!!! 

Two dumb mistakes in one day

This latest series of boondock'n news has been brought to you by Billy Bob Reports Inc. As with any breaking news, it soon becomes old news. And for that reason and that reason alone, I will never again mention boondock'n in my daily reports. Well, maybe onest in a while I might mention it. If'n I want to that is.

Again last night, it got quite chilly outside....40 degs. I would rekon when I got up at 4:30am to do my nightly business chore, it were close to 48 degs inside "da house". I know it were cold an' that all I'm gonna say bout that.
But things are look'n up for a great future in south Texas. Night time lows in the upper 40's an' lower 50's. Of course the day time temps are to remain in the upper 60's for the next 4 or 5 days. That's almost good fish'n weather ya know.

Had one follower email me ask'n for photos. Ok, what the hell am I supposed to be tak'n photos of....the couch or dirty dishes??? Now I remember a time when I posted lots of photos. It was easy 'cause I were always do'n something that was photo worthy. You know, projects an' stuff like that. Well I ain't got no projects in the workings right now. All I been do'n is attempt'n to stay warm inside "da house" an' read'n western/cowboy books. Hang in there folks, this warmer weather may change that.

On another point of view, I don't get around like I used to do, so's I don't get to places to take photos. That would have to be for the fact that old age is creep'n into my life. To give ya a idea what I'm talk'n bout, the other day I climb up there on the roof to clean off the solar panels. By the time I got back to solid ground under my feet, I was wore slap out....couldn't breath worth a crap. An' my hip hurted from that first step on the ladder....bout 30 inch off the ground. Or something like that. OFM Barney know 'cause he been up there a few times.

On the trip to Walmart in Rio Grande City yesterday, I made two very bad decisions. Never pull out in front of a Mustang go'n a hunnert mile a hour. Scare hell out me it did. As the guy crossed the double yeller line to pass, he flip me a bird an' keep on go'n a hunnert mile a hour. I just wave back at him think'n he gave me a friendly Texas wave. Then, the light was get'n ready to change to red. So's I stomp the gas so's I don't have to wait through no red light. Holy crap, there a big ol' truck stop right slap in the middle the road. Let school kids cross. Scare the hell out me one more time. Thought I was gonna plow right in the back of that big ol' truck. Kind'a look'n like that maybe I need to be pay'n attention an' be a bit more cautious with my driv'n.

You know them little battery powered go buggies they got at Walmart? Handicap go carts, that what they are. Anyhows, there was a convention of 'em (4), talk'n an' stuff, right in the middle of the asile where I was intend'n to go. Now I know they speak some English, but do you think they understood "excuse me"? Hell no they didn't. They weren't gonna let this old white gringo pass for nuttin. Had to go around up into the ladies underdrawer section. Pretty neat stuff in there. Got my meds, a bag of bird seed an' 24 20oz. bottles of Sams Purified drink'n water. That for my coffee ya know.

Speak'n of meds, call my doctor over there in Deming, New Mexico. See what he say if'n I quit tak'n Advair. He says "hell no" real quick like. Got to take it the rest of my life if'n I wanna keep breath'n. Either that or tote me a oxygen bottle everwheres I go like what old "pesky neighbor" Wayne do. Then in his next breath, he says...."what ever you do, don't get pneumonia". Now what the hell he mean by that?

Since I mentioned Wayne, I figgered I might just give him a call. He's do'n fine, stay'n warm, eat'n good an' all that stuff. I was begin'n to worry since I ain't talk to him in a while. He's handle'n the cold weather just fine.  

Choice of heat

Yup, I were sit'n there on the couch last read'n another one them old cowboy books. I got bout 3 hunnert of them ya know. Give or take a few. Dang, it's get'n kind of chilly in here. Well, before morn'n, it was slap ass cold outside.....37 degs 'cord'n to my Walmart special temperature thingy. When I got up @ 4am, it were a mite cold inside too (Billy Bob does not use any source of heat while wrapped up in 20 pounds of blankets).

There's a lot of controversy over what types of heat is safe in an RV. Myself, I will never use any kind of open flame for heat while I am sleep'n. That's just common sense far as I'm concerned. After learn'n the in's an' outs of boondock'n, it common sense to not use any heat at all while sleep'n.....no matter how cold it get. That why God invented blankets an' sleep'n bags ya know. A experienced RV'er ain't gonna be camp'n in no place what is cold in the first place. That why he has wheels on his house.

The first heater we gonna discuss at this time is the built in furnace what come with the RV. They do a purty darn good job of keep'n a rv warm in cold temps. But they have a drawback. They burn gallons of propane with right bout 40% of the heat go'n outside an' do'n nuttin. Very low efficiency rating if'n ya know what I'm talk'n bout. Don't take long an' you gonna be look'n for a propane sell'n place. They also have a 12 volts fan to circulate the heat through the ducts an' a combustion fan to blow all that heat outside. This ain't a problem if'n you're hooked up to power. But lets suppose you are camped out in the middle of nowheres with no available power to hook up to (boondock'n). The batteries are gonna be dead before the morn'n dew lifts....and ya gonna freeze slap to death. In most cases right bout 4am.

The next best choice of a "safe" (???) heater is a catalytic heater. Since these heaters have no flame (burn by chemical action) (don't ask me how...Google is your best friend), they are safe to use in an RV....even while you are sleep'n. They do use a bunch of oxygen for the process to work, so ya got to crack a winder open a bit. Something like bout a inch or so to bring in more oxygen. Only drawback is the price. $300 plus.

Then there's the Mr Heater (Buddy). It has an open flame (carbon monoxide). And it uses oxygen just like any other propane powered heater is gonna do. Crack a winder ya know. Don't go to sleep with it on. Since the old Billy Bob is cheap, he uses a 18,000 btu Mr Heater ($150 with hoses and fittings). Like what I were say'n, I don't use heat while I'm sleep'n. Although, I have been knowed to take a nap with it on. Right under that cracked winder ya know. So I rekon it's just as safe for me as any the others. By the way, there are thousands of RV'ers using the Mr Heater in their rigs an' every one of  'em is still alive an' travel'n our great nation. 'Cept maybe the "dumb" ones. Life is good when you're warm.

A note here.....don't take my word for it. Do your own research.

Brewed me up that pot of Billy Bob beef stew soup yesterday. Boy howdy that were a good decision. That stuff is goooood. Ate me up two great big ol' bowls that stuff an' sleeped like a baby last night.  Good for ya too. See all them veggies in there?

By the way, I throwed out the rest of them damn beans. One night of poot'n an' toot'n was all I could handle.

Have ya ever throwed money around? Well old Billy Bob do. I got one dollar bills lay'n all over the place. Reason is, they take up too much space in my wallet. In a months time ya got a half a inch dollar bills in your wallet an' there ain't no room for hunnerts an' twenty's. I just stacks 'em up till they a couple inches an' then I go spend 'em. I could just use my credit/debit card for all my purchases, but that ain't the way Billy Bob works. I don't keep no record of my spend'n, so cash purchases for smaller expenditures works out fine for me. When I ain't got no more cash, I know I done spend too much. That's my way of book keep'n.....an' I'm stick'n to it.  

Oh.....got all them damn dishes all wash up an' put away yesterday. I'm one proud camper. There was a counter under there....yeee haa.

       

Dishes again???

Boy howdy, I sure did stick a stik in a hornets nest when I mentioned "nasty coffee".

Let me tell ya bout the pot of beans I throwed together yesterday. I like 15 bean soup, so that's what I made. With a big ol' ham hock in it. I rekon I'm gonna have to throw half of it out for the critters. Not 'cause it don't taste good or nuttin like that, but ain't nobody pull the covers up over their heads last night. Sadie Mae say she ain't get'n under there.

Pull a roast out the freezer last night. Gonna brew me up another BIG pot of Billy Bob beef stew soup. I ain't never went wrong mak'n this concoction. Better than beef stew an' better than soup. And from what I've read, it's good for ya too.

So what else did I do yesterday beside build a pot of pooof power bean soup? Well, I turn the water heater on so's I could wash up some dishes. Did I do dishes?? Who you kid'n? Well hell no I didn't do dishes.....sheesh!!! Turn water heater back on this morn'n......just maybe.

Trip to town in "Sally da house was a success. Got a almost full tank of gasoline and had a nice little ride. Without "that jeep" hang'n on the back, I almost squeeled the tires. This sucker run. But, I make a fast turn around a corner and everthing in the refrigerator went fly'n to the floor. Nuttin busted so it was ok. Got to remember that "click" when I close the refrig door.

When I got back to the camp site, the sunshine was just peek'n out the clouds. Got me bout 3 hours worth. Charge then batteries up a bit. As I was watch'n the charge controller, it was sit'n on 13.65 volts an' 12.4 amps. That's pretty good right? Next time I look at it 5 minutes later, it were on 14.38 volts with the same amount of sunshine. That ain't right. So here what I'm think'n. Something wrong with the charge controller. When I check the batteries with a hydrometer...old cheap Walmart thingy, 2 balls was float'n to the top, 1 was half ways up and the other one was just lay'n on the bottom. That should be bout 60% charged. Anyhows.....

Got up this morn'n to 49 degs......brrrrrr, that's cold. Ain't nuttin in the sky but clouds. Expected high for the day....54 degs. Ain't gonna be sit'n outside that for sure. Maybe go to town and pick up my meds.....what ya think?

Ok.....I'm gone. Have a good day where ever you at.

Shacked up

It's kind of look'n like another week of cold weather. Lows in the low 40's dip'n into the mid 30's....now that's cold. Highs in the mid 50's.

Well, the old Billy Bob ain't gonna be do'n nuttin outside for a while. It's damn cold out there, an' it's gonna stay that way till next week. But then I got to think'n, where else could I be where it ain't cold. There ain't no other place....'cord'n to the weather forecasters anyhows. This is it. South Texas. Don't even think bout mention'n Florida. Ya ain't gonna never catch Billy Bob in that tourist trap State.

Believe it or not, I was think'n earlier bout go'n back to the "slabs" out in southern Ca. again for the winter. Boy howdy, sure am glad I didn't do that. Them people are freez'n their buttocks plumb off out there.

Yesterday I decided to crank up the engine in "da house". Sucker fire right up just like a brand spank'n new one. I weren't really surprised....I take care of my stuff ya know. I looks at the gas gauge.....WTH??? Down to a quarter tank. Where all my gas go? Well, it's like this, the Onan generator runs on gasoline an' I been run'n the generator to brew up my coffee and charge batteries.....no sunshine ya know. I been here a month, so I done burn a lot of gas. Bout 15 or 20 gallon I'm think'n. This means I got to take "da house" down the road a piece (15 mile) and fill the gas tank back up. That may seem like an easy task, but it ain't. Probly take me a freak'n hour just to get ready to roll....an' it cold out there. But it got to be done before it get low enough that the Onan don't have no fuel. What is supposed to be 1/4 full in the main tank.....well, the only tank.

Still ain't had a good cup of coffee. Tried the stovetop coffee perk-a-later yesterday using water from my water filtration thingy. Nope, still sucks. Next thing I gonna try is buy me up a 24 pac of mountain fresh spring water....or something like that. Any thing that don't have south Texas water in it. If that don't work, I'm think'n my taster buds is gone haywire. Even Churches chicken tastes like chicken.

May as well stop right here. Ain't got a damn thing to talk bout. Guess I'll go outside and ready "Sally da house" for a cold trip to town.

Summer temps

Weather news.....damn it was hot. Me and Sadie Mae was discuss'n whether we should take a ride or just sit back and relax for the rest of the day. We took a ride.

Just to be on the safe side in case we ran into some cold weather, I slipped into a long sleeve shirt....one of my many winter coats. I got me a couple jackets, but I don't wear 'em much.  We weren't but 5 minutes out of the campground before I had to switch on the dash air. I ain't ly'n to ya....it were somewheres close to 85/90 degs. I thought it were summer all ready.

We went to Walmart in Rio Grande City bout 30 mile to the south. Drop off my empty med bottles for refill....well shoot, they ain't got one of them until Monday give or take a day. That means another trip. Pick up everthing on my grocery list, stop by Churches....buy me up some chicken an' jalapenos and head back to "da house". It were still 84 degs when we arrived at the campground.

Speak'n of campgrounds and good camp sites....maybe we gonna move. Me an' Sadie Mae was rid'n the "billy bike" an' fount some vacant property only a hunnert yards or so from where we live now. It has a picnic table and a big ol' bbq pit....or something like that. But that ain't the reason we may move. I'm think'n sunshine on the solar panels all day long. If'n ya see a new photo in the header, you know we moved.

The first thing I did was brew up a pot of coffee. Using some that "drink'n" water I bought and fresh bought coffee grinds. It tastes somewhat better, but still not "Billy Bob" coffee. Something ain't right. This afternoon I'll break out the stove top perkerlater....see what that do.

After being retired and full time RV'n for the last 11 years, I should have many more miles chocked up on the odometer than what I do. I been average right bout 6000 mile a year. Give or take a thousand here an' a thousand there. An' I should have been to more places than what I have. I wasted a lot of time "do'n nuttin" when I should have been "eye gawk'n" at stuff an' tak'n pictures. I rekon I ain't no tourist like most other RV'ers. Rose gardens, wine tast'n, guided tours....stuff like that. Ain't for the old Billy Bob. Give me wide open spaces, mountains, streams, lakes, fish'n poles.....man stuff.

I don't go east of the Mississippi other than to visit family in Ga. Reason for that, all them damn trees are in the way to see anything. Sides that, what's east of the Mississippi to see anyhows??? Ain't no desert to see an' everbody know Billy Bob loves the desert. When I die, that where I want it to happen....out in the middle the desert. Just burry me under a cactus plant an' I be in heaven.  

Dad burn cold front come through last night. I sit outside until after dark, sip'n up a cup an' think'n. Notice the slight breeze done change direction. Com'n out of the north. Was still 75 degs at 8:30. But then the temp start fall'n fast. The wind pick up to a hunnert mile a hour (25 to 30). Didn't git no wheres as cold as I were expect'n (51), so life is good. Looks like another week of this miserable cold weather, with no sunshine, chance of rain and windy like hell. Come on spring time.

Hip hop

I'm thinkn.....hold on a minute, I'll think of something. Jeeze, I ain't got nuttin to write about.

Yesterday was yet another beautiful day. And accord'n to the weather thingy, today should be also....with a high of close to 80. But from what I'm look'n at right now, it ain't gonna make it. Low last night was 64 degs an' it's only 69 now....with a slight breeze out the SSE.

Holy crap, I jumps out the bed this morn'n and my right hip weren't work'n. Fall slap down right in the middle the floor. I feels my leg an' it ain't no feel'n in it, nuttin....you know, like numb....or kind of like when it ain't woke up yet. I gets up on the other leg, the one what's work'n an' hops to the bathroom....Ahhhh, much better. Then hops to the coffee pot.......

Speak'n of coffee pot, I breaked down yesterday an' clean that sucker. Holy Jimminies, that sucker got all kind of stuff in it. Now I know I ain't the best coffee pot cleaner, but I spend over two hour clean'n that thing. Well, part of that time was for fix'n what I broke.
So how do ya clean a coffee pot? Well here what ya do.... ya take ya some that super clean'n solution what ya bought in the automotive section at Walmart (Mean Green or something like that), an' ya spray everthing...inside an' out. Really give it a good spray'n, down in all the cracks an' crannys. Then ya let it soak in real good before ya take it outside an' wash it all out with the water hose. I were soak'n wet when that job was done I mean to tell ya. Then ya fills up the coffee pot with bout a half quart vinigar....the white kind, turn it on and......oh crap. it don't come on. I betcha a dollar I done got something sop'n wet. Yeah I did, water run'n out everwheres from that water hose'n. I takes it apart, parts lay'n everwheres. It sop'n wet inside there where the little control gizmo is at. I dries it off with paper towels.....it still don't work. Look like I gonna have to modify this sucker....bypass this control thingy with a toggle switch....or possibly go buy me a new one. Before I make any modifications, I take my hand held blow torch an' heat all that stuff up....dry it ya know. Yup, that did the trick. Now it work. I runs that vinigar through there bout 4 times, then run plain ol' water through it too. Rinse it out ya know. Now for the test, make a pot of great tast'n coffee.

Wrong....this crap sucks. Spend all that time an' my coffee still taste like swamp water. Well anyways at least, we got a clean coffee maker now. So that only leave two things what could be wrong. The water, or the coffee grinds. I'm think'n water. What you think??? So the next time I go to the store, either in Roma or the Walmart in Rio Grande City, I'll pick me up a couple gallon drink'n water an' a new thingy of coffee. In the mean time, I'll be drink'n swap water coffee.

That's all for today. Maybe something excit'n will happen today so's I'll have something to write about tomorrow. 

Yee ha, it was summer yesterday

Hot damn, boy howdy, yee ha....all that good stuff. Yesterday was a beautiful day.

Propane guy show up right on time at 10:10am yesterday. Fill my propane tank with 25.5 gallon of precious BTU producing highly inflammable liquid petroleum gas.....propane. The old Billy Bob ain't gonna be cold no more. Propane guy says he'll be back in two weeks to see if'n I need to fill up again, while he's stuffs $82.87 in his pocket ($3.25 a gallon). Nice guy.  

Right bout 11am yesterday, the sun was blaz'n down on "da house"....produc'n solar heat through the winders and solar electricity up there on the roof. I'm go'n outside.....that what I'm gonna do. Boy howdy, ya don't know what it feels like to be cooped up for weeks on end and all a sudden it's summer time outside (75 degs). I grabs up my coffee mug, some smokes, a good book an' out to the yard I go. Sit in the sunshine ya know. I feeled good. Even took me a short walk. Never do that again.....had to walk back ya know.

This morn'n when I waked up it was 57 degs outside.....don't know what it was inside, but it weren't cold. If there's any mountains close to Falcon Heights, ya cain't see them 'cause of the fog. There ain't no sunshine. I ain't go'n outside.

Holy crap....what that noise? Sadie Mae was lay'n up there on the dashboard look'n out the windshield. Look'n for critters I suppose. All a sudden she jump down an' start look'n under the front seats. She hear something. I do too. So's I bait up a couple mice traps with peanut butter an' slides them in place. Weren't even a hour go by an' POW....I got me a dead mouse. Then this morn'n I got me another. Damn, I hate mouses in "da house". I ain't skeered of 'em or nuttin like that, but they eat wire. Cause a short an' burn "da house" down.

On my last trip to Georgia, I bought me up one them electronic mouse deterrent gobbar do's what ya plug in. They don't work. Well maybe they do if'n ya got the generator run'n. Maybe if I was too plug it into the inverter system.....hmmmmm.....maybe. I rekon that's just one more drawback of boondock'n....the critter deterrent thingy don't work. I have my doubts if'n they even work at all. 

I just finish read'n another one them cowboy/western books. It were a goodern. The main characters talk just like what old Billy Bob do. Gonna, wanna, nuttin, hot damn....stuff like that. Make me feel like I was right there on my own hoss rid'n along with 'em. I were think'n bout buy'n me one them Kindle book thingys, but they ain't like the real thing. I got to turn pages. Cuss when they stick together. Ain't nuttin like the real thing when it come to books.

Ok, I got a few things to do. Dishes, sweep the floors, take the trash to the dumpster.....stuff like that. Maybe take me a shower. *sniff sniff*.....nope, don't smell like no goat. Forgit that.

Propane guy

Wow boy howdy, is it spring time already? Only got down to 49 degs last night what is a nice temp to go to bed by. Yesterday warmed up quite nicely somewheres up in the mid 70's. Sunshine come back out after the clouds went away. Made for a nice day to sit out in the yard sip'n up a cup.

Speak'n of sip'n up a cup.....I got a problem with my coffee. It don't taste like it did not long ago. Kind of on the nasty side. So what the hell go'n on??? I know I'm los'n my taste for things....everthing taste like chicken ya know. But dag nab it, I love my coffee. I drink Folgers 'cause all the other brands taste like a Columbian do-do bird been perch'n on the coffee bean plants down there. I'm think'n the Columbian do-do bird is directly related to the American pigeon....do-do all over everthing. But then I'm think'n I may have a water quality situation. Since I travel all over the place an' fill my water tank with unknowed water quality.....what ya think? On the other hand, "clean the coffee maker Billy Bob". I been gonna do that for some time now, but ain't got around to it yet 'cause of all the other things what eat up my time. Maybe today!!!!

I ain't got hardly a thing to ramble bout this morn'n other than the propane guy gonna be here in just a bit. I were lay'n there bout 6am, eyes wide open, think'n I hear his truck. So's I get up real quick like. Don't wanna miss the propane truck ya know. It were dark like night time out there. What the hell am I do'n up this early....damn, he ain't gonna be here till after 10am.

Now that remind me the time, get'n up too early ya know. Only one eye open, half a sleep. We was go'n on a fish'n trip. Had the old station wagon all load up with camp'n gear. Big ol' coller full of eats an' ice cold beer. We gonna go catch us up some stringer full of fish I betcha. We got camp all set up an' some the other fellers done down to the lake fish'n.....catch'n up fish right an' left. I looks all round camp, the station wagon....."where the hell my fish pole"? Yup, left that sucker an' all my fish'n gear sit'n up next to the garage.

I rekon I been a fisherman for long as I can remember. Used to catch up little fishes an' crawdads down at the creek what run through the farm. With nuttin but a stik, a piece of string with a hook on the end and a great big ol' worm....a piece of corn cob for a float. That the way ya fish back in the 40's ya know....right along the bank.....lay back up under a tree. By the time I were 20 year old, I done had me 3 or 4 boats. I were a big time fisherman.

Ok....hold on, don't go nowheres....propane man due to make his presence known. I be back....maybe.

Just cruis'n round

Another rather nice night for sound sleep'n. Temps got down to 53 degs last night after a blistering 70 deg day. Sun has showed it face this morn'n, but after all these sunless days we been hav'n, I ain't expect'n it to last. But you ain't gonna hear no complain'n from Billy Bob's house.

Me an' Sadie Mae was sit'n there on the couch just look'n at each other. We was bored. She says...."let's go for a ride". We jumps in "that jeep" and heads north. I had but one thing on my mind....propane sell'n place. Upon arrival in Zapata, Texas, there weren't no propane sell'n place. A quick stop at Falcon Lake Tackle shop revealed that Amerigas Propane was bulldozed to the ground a year ago. "Now what ya gonna do Billy Bob"???

Cruised around town for a bit....just look'n ya know and then we headed back south to Falcon Heights. Ask'n round a bit, we found a propane place just down the road a piece in Roma, Texas. When I pulls up, there ain't nuttin but a big ol' propane tank behind a chainlink fence an' a old, I'm talk'n old here, propane truck sit'n out by the street. Wonder if'n that thing still runs. Apparently it does 'cause the feller tells me he delivers propane every Thursday to the Community Park in Falcon Heights. That were I are camped ya know.

To celebrate, in anticipation of a full propane tank, I cranks Mr Heater up on full bore....18,000 btu's of romp'n stomp'n heat. Had to open the door it got so hot in here. 

There went the sunshine....damn, that were quick.


When it comes to writ'n stuff, I think of my favorite all time writer Samuel Langhorne Clemens (November 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910). I'm think'n he put his childhood dreams to paper in all the fictional characters he wrote about. Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn....they my favorite. My life kind of revolves around some them characters in some way or another.....the things what I done in my lifetime an' the ways I did 'em. I ain't a writer like what he was no shape or form, but I do try to put some "spice" in what I write. I use a language what most everbody can understand without the use of a dictionary. My spell'n is so so thanks to the invention of spell checker. All my writ'n is through memory, all the way back to the early age of 5 year old. What can I say....I like to write. A book? Oh hell no, too old for that.

Now that reminds me the time....I were in the 1st grade in a little country school an' we was talk'n all bout farm critters an' the sounds they make. You know, cows, chickens, horses....pigs, stuff like that. The nice lady teacher tell me to come up front an' make a sound like a pig. A pig??? Ain't no way I gonna do that with all them pretty little girls look'n at me. Why I would be the laugh'n stock of the school. Pig....nope, ain't gonna do it. That was the day that nice lady teacher done "switched" my britches. Make me sit on a stool in the corner. But I never did make that god awful sound what a pig make. "Oink oink....oh hell no. 

Bored....who me??

Boy howdy, I was sit'n there last night an' says...."damn, it's kind of warm in here". It were 67 degs right long bout 8pm. (2000 hours if'n you're militery).  Turns off the heater and open the door. Now this what I'm talk'n bout. By bedtime, 11:30pm, it were a chilly 61 degs out there. Up early this morn'n to 59 degs. Cain't beat that with a stik. But damn, it all foggy out there....an' there ain't no sunshine again.

A while back, I mentioned that I may never come back to south Texas in the winter time. But everbody know I weren't really serious. Things just don't always work out the way you was expect'n. Ya see, I was expect'n to be sit'n out in the yard sip'n up a cup in tee shirt, SHORTS an' barefoots. But this year has been a exception to the rule. It's freak'n cold no matter where you at. Well, maybe not down there in Florida where it summer all the time. I don't do Florida....nope ain't gonna do it. Anything east of the Mississippi river is out. An' that my friends, leaves only two other places in the entire country where in the winter I would camp. Southern Ca. and south Texas. Take note that Yuma Arizona is also warm in the winter.....but, my god, ya ain't never see so many RV's an' traffic an' noise in your life time? Only place in Yuma I like is "da pond". Fortuna Pond that is. And the only reason for that is the rainbow trout they stock in it (Dec, Jan an' Feb). 

Me an' first mate Vickie Lynn took off for California. When we departed Port Aransas, Texas, it was in the dead of winter. February first, 2002. We was both wear'n shorts. By the time we got to Del Rio an' Judge Roy Bean's place in Langtry, Texas, it were get'n a bit on the chilly side at night. Run the batteries slap down run'n the furnace. "Oh, let's go to Big Bend" says Vickie Lynn. An' that what we did the very next day. Now I don't know bout anybody else, but 14 degs at night is cold. And when the batteries go dead at 3am, you know exactly what cold is really about. We stay there for 4 days freez'n at night and enjoy'n beautiful sunshine dur'n the day. "My god Billy Bob, what was you think'n"??? By the time we got to Ridgecrest, Ca., our bones was all froze up stiff like boards, done fill the propane tank bout three four times an' burn a hunnert gallon gas charg'n them damn dead batteries. An' it snowed the first night we got there. When we returned to Port Aransas (end of March), upon arrival, we was wear'n shorts.

I think of old Vickie Lynn ever once in a while. Then I thank my lucky stars for the day she walked the plank. Done married herself up to some young buck an' drinked herself slap to death. God rest her soul.
But she was a good ol' girl. Knowed all bout camp'n, all bout birds an' flowers, how to wash dishes an' do laundy....smoke weed and drink vodka.

So here I sit in south Texas. Ain't got nuttin to do, no where's I want to go.....bored slap out my mind. This ain't exactly what I was expect'n when I retired and decided to be a full time RV'er. Although, it ain't all that bad. I guess I could be sit'n in a little house somewheres, probly freez'n my ass off, dream'n of travel'n all over the country with not a care in the world. But that ain't what I did. I jump right in there with two feets an' here I am. For over 10 years it's been a wonderful journey. Put'n miles behind me in my second "home on wheels". See'n stuff I though I would never see. This is a wonderful life. Even if'n I do freeze my ass off ever once in a while. I'm free. 

Bad dreams......

About the weather....somebody lied. Although my cheap Walmart thermometer thingys says it was 44 degs last night, it didn't feel anywheres close to that. What started out this morn'n as sunshine has turned into extremely overcast skys. Big ol' clouds out there.

Bout 2:30 am I were sleep'n like a new born baby. Suddenly I wakes up.....I were hav'n a strange dream. A great big round blade look'n thing fell on my foot. It were bout 4 foot in diameter made out of stainless steel an' had razor sharp edges on it. Weigh a ton I betcha. I could see the sparkle from the sharpness. But anyhows, it were just stand'n on edge an' I walks up to it.....just look'n ya know. It start to fall all a sudden for no reason. I jumps back like lickie split, but it hits my foot. Some girl scream. Who the hell that??? I sits down an' take my sandal off....everthing look OK to me. Then all a sudden, blood start build'n up under the shin....like a great big ol' blood blister. The entire top of my foot. The girl still scream'n. That when I waked up. Went to the couch, turn on a light, light me up a smoke an' check out my foot. Look Ok to me.

Now for the strange part....the rest of the story. I had other dreams of these strange look'n 400 pounds discs before. Same freak'n ones. Same color, same shape....everthing the same. In both cases, somebody got hurt when they up an' fall over for no reason. I'm talk'n they got hurt Really bad. One guy what didn't get out of the way in time was cut slap in two pieces. Another had both his feet amputated.....poooof, two feets gone, just like that.

I heared a few times that dreams have meanings. I ain't no "dream catcher" or nuttin like that, so don't ask me. What could the meanings be of these dreams I had??? Kind of makes me cringe to think 3 dreams the same in a short period of time. I had dreams before where I fall off'n cliffs, skyscrapers....stuff like that, but never hit the bottom. How comes that???

Get'n low on propane. Down to less than 8 gallon left in the tank. "Conserve Billy Bob, ya don't need 80 degs in "da house" ya know". So, I got on Google to find propane sell'n places close to Falcon Heights. Only two an' they both 30 plus miles away.....60 round trip. One in Rio Grande City an' the other in Zapata. That's right at 7.5 gallon of gasoline...bout $25 dollar worth. With phone numbers in hand, I'll call each these propane places and see if by chance they have a truck in this area on certain days. And hopefully they will fill a motorhome propane tank from the truck. Most won't. Another thing for the old Billy Bob to fret bout.....run'n out of propane and freeze slap to death.

If all winters are like this in south Texas, I may be look'n for different stomp'n grounds next year. I don't like this crap. I 'member in Port Aransas, we used to wear short most of winter. Only had a couple three weeks of really cold weather. Damn global warming.