Whoa hoss....brake problem

 
Yesterdays most stressful adventure was find'n some gas for "Sally da house" to continue her journey west. All of that was taken care of within an hour after pulling out of a wonderful Texas rest area/rv park. And to think I stayed up half the night in worry I would die along side the road with a empty tank.

Ok, we made a second fuel stop in Van Horn to top off the fuel tank. 28 gallons were added, cheap shit 86 octane. Went to the truck stop where I received my citation an' pull up between two big ol' trucks....out of sight an' out of mind. After a nice lunch, we was on the road again.

I cain't take this no more, I got to pull off an' get me some relief. My brakes are failing.....what the hell??? More on this later.....

I hit El Paso right at 4:30pm. Oh lord, it's bumper to bumper an' I'm do'n a hunnert mile a hour (60). I push on the brakes hard, an' then harder, we ain't slow'n down. Well, we were, but get'n awful close to that car in front us. More on this later.... For the next 20 mile or so, it was regular ol' slow an' go, sometimes 50 other times 20. Arrived at the New Mexico Information Center RV park right bout 6pm with a sore right leg from push'n that brake peddle.

Ok, the brakes. Ya see, when I push on them, they are hard to push an' ya gotta pull the peddle back up with your toe....what means ya ain't gonna stop in a short preferably safe distance. I was think'n vacuum brake booster, but "Sally da house" don't have a vacuum brake booster (internet search). What it do have is a hydroboost doomaflochie what runs off the power steering pump. Maybe that's what it is? Further google search reveals a little device called a "bell crank" or something like that. This device has caused RV'ers all over the country to have the same problem I have. There's a fix. It's up under the front and needs a grease job. More on this later when I crawl my ass up under "da house" an' take a look.  But not today.

Ok....Now what the hell??? I push the start button on the Onan generator. Lights start flash'n on the switch. It's a fault code. I get it run'n an' turn on the AC's....both of 'em. Two minutes into the cool down period, Onan stop run'n. This ain't good "cause it's hot in "da house". I piddle with it, crank up an' turn on ONE AC. Another project to checkout in Deming.

I sleep good last night once the temp got into the 70's. Before that....it was misery....little fan blow'n 87 degs air on me at 10pm. Back and hip didn't feel too bad last night. Felt good this morn'n. Although, climbing in altitude (3900 feets) does make it harder to breath.

I ain't in no hurry to crank up an' finish my trip to Deming. It's still quite cool here (79 degs) at 10am mountain standard time.

Refill my coffee jug, down a alka seltzer, swaller a aspirin....let's hit the road. "Sadie Mae, git in "da house"". 

Updated......Low fuel warning

There weren't no adventures, no close calls, nuttin unusual happen yesterday to write about. Just a steady 60 mile a hour cruise westward.


Well, here I am, just sit'n here 30 miles from the nearest gas station. There damn well better be a gas station in the next little town, that all I got to say bout that. Ya see, I was do'n some figger'n in my head...."I should be able to make it to Van Horn on what gas I got". I pull off in Fort Stockton. I cain't fit into that station or that one neither. There's one over there I can fit into. I pull up to the pumps....."what the hell"? They got plastic bags on the nozzles. They ain't got no gas.The only exit from this station is the I-10 ramp....what I get on.
The lower the gauge got, the more figger'n I did....."I need gas now". I'm get'n nervous.
This morn'n, after a miserable night of worry, I'm 80 miles to Van Horn an' according to my calculations, "it's gonna be a close one" if'n I cain't fuel up in Balmorhea or some other little hick town along the way. I'm talk'n....I could get by with just 2 or 3 gallons.
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Afternoon update....

I stop in Balmorhea  an' buy me up some gas. Get back on I-10 an' lay back like a big shot, not a worry in the world. I got me enough gas to make it to Deming. Whoa there bucco, you said that back up the road a piece....remember?

Arrived at my designated gas station in Van Horn right bout 12:30 oclock. Put me another 28 gallon in the tank (hunnert dollar bill). Now I'm sit up here at that truck stop where I got a citation a couple year ago. As I entered town, the city proudly display a "no overnight camping" sign. Dirty bastards.

Tomorrow I may tell ya why you should never worry bout petty stuff. Like run'n out of gas. YIKES, run'n out of gas ain't petty....that some serious shit.

Yikes, don't stand on the ants

We sit'n in the shade at Junction City Park in, believe it or not, Junction, Texas. I had a hard time find' the place 'cause all the instructions to get here was on my laptop. "Well shoot Billy Bob, just fire up the internet an' everthing be fine". NOT!!! There ain't no internet anywheres close to Junction. But anyhows, I had wrote down the "back road" I was supposed to turn left on....2169. Ok....there was three 2169's, start'n 20 miles back up the road a piece. I says....Grrrrrrrrrr, "how I gonna turn around on a narrow road like this one". I managed. Then there was the next 2169. Nope, not this one neither. Finally.....I'm camp'n. Nice quiet little park. Fount me a spot next to the river under a couple pecan trees.

Not the best view in the world, but what the hell, it's free. Maybe I stay here two days? Read on.

The first thing I do is get out an' look my camp'n sight over. "Pull up bout 20 feets be fine". OUCH, I stand'n on a ant mound. Them suckers is bite'n the shit out me me. I pulls up the designated 20 feets, sit on the couch doctor'n my poor ol' ant bited feet. Brew me up a new pot of coffee an' lay back to relax from a tiring an' miserable day.

7pm....HOLY CRAP, it's a hunnert degs in "da house". 89 to be exact. Nice little breeze blow'n, lets sit outside for a bit. Hey, is that a pecan lay'n over there on the ground? I love pecans. I goes over an' pick it up. OUCH, I stand'n on another ant mound.....hunnerts of them little black critters. And them little bastards are crawl'n up my legs, bite'n the crap out me. Mind ya, these ain't good ol' "fire breathing" Texas fire ants, they just regular ol' black critters....with alligator teeth. Back to doctor'n up my feet an' ankles. Man, them suckers done bite me a hunnert times. Fifteen minutes later, Ahhhh, that feels sooo good. In case ya wanna know, Equate Pain Relieving Cream, from Walmart, works wonders for ant bites. Same stuff I use on skeeter bites.

It's 8pm. I'm sit'n on the couch eat'n up a peanut butter jelly sammich an' a cup of ice cold milk.....dunk'n that sucker ya know. I got sweat run down my cheeks....it's hot in "da house". Fire up the generator, set thermostat on 37 degs....Ahhhh!!! that feels soooo good.

Bout this time, I'm cooled down, lay'n back on the couch...got my little 12 volts fan blow'n on me (generator off), I'm relax'n. 10pm the dreaded leg cramps start. Ain't talk'n bout no little sissy leg cramps, these things are serious, both legs at one time. Hurt like all holy hell.

By 1am I make it to the bed. Leg cramps die down an' I get me some sleep. 3am....Now I got me some belly rumbles, a quick dose of alka seltzer.....damn, I need sleep. Another hour by the wayside, back to sleep by 4.

I get up at 9am.....yup, I was sleep'n pretty darn good. I done decide I ain't stay'n here another day....too damn hot. That little car is gone. But in it's place is a big ol' box truck....block'n my departure. RV'ers know ya cain't back up when ya got a "toad" hook up. 

Crank up "Sally da house right at 11:45. How the hell am I gonna get out of here? Last resort would be unhook "that jeep" and back out. Maybe if'n I make a hard left I can miss that tree on the left an' not hit that truck on the right. I walk's out there....yeah, I think I can do this. "Billy Bob, you good....had a foot or two to spare".

2pm....I'm down the road a piece, put a hunnert dollar in the gas tank....put cruise on a hunnert an' let 'er eat. Should hit Ft. Stockton and beyond long bout supper time. If'n I got it all planed right. Spend the night at the rest area an' be all refreshed for the next day of travel to the rest area just across the border of Texas in Anthony.  That's the plan anyhows.

In case ya wonder'n, no I ain't enjoy'n this trip so far. Sit'n in that chair up there driv'n down the road for two hours at a time, my back is kill'n me. I'm bout out of alka seltzers an' I still got a long ways to go.

Westward ho...."did he say ho"?

I leave the gulf coast behind....and that "damn goat". 

Go'n through San Antonio do'n a hunnert mile a hour...."slow this thing down Billy Bob, we go'n way too fast".

We sit'n long side the highway 70 miles from destination stop #1....Junction, Texas. In the hill country ya know.
Had to make stop #2 for a pain pill. I may be mentally ready for the road, but damn....this is kill'n my poor old back. Stop #1 was for a alka seltzer.....dang, I was burp'n up my hot dog an' donut breakfast.

Weather delay....wind and rain

Well boy howdy, I want you look out there in the yard. Great big ol' mud puddles from all that rain last night. Hmmmmm, I got to drive through them mud puddles....sink down to the axle. Well, maybe I wouldn't sink down to the axles, but I betcha a dollar I gonna leave big ruts in the yard if'n I drive "da house" across it. *Check the weather forecast* Hmmmm....winds 15 to 20 out of the north an' more thunderstorms predicted.

Yesterday afternoon I got myself a really bad belly sick. After I ate me up a can of spaghetti an' meatballs an' a couple fresh baked chocolate covered donuts. Damn them donuts was good. Then I feel "rumbles" build'n in my belly....there's a sick come'n on. By 6pm, I had dumped all that stuff in the nearest trash can. I ain't stick'n my head in that stink'n commode in the bathroom....nope, ain't gonna do that. What's the old say'n???.....been there done that.

"So Billy Bob, what ya gonna do now"? First thing I gonna do is take me some alka seltzer to calm down my belly. Just sit'n here watch'n that "plop plop fizz fizz" makes me feel better already.

Speak'n of Alka seltzer, did I ever tell ya bout the time? Me an ' my buddy was sit'n in a little cafe hav'n a coffee break. He goes off to the restroom. I'm sit'n there look'n at his coffee cup......hmmmmm, alka seltzer time. Right bout the time he sits back down, I drops a seltzer tablet in his steam'n hot cup of coffee. It begins to "boil" foam up over the rim of the cup....an' all over the table top. He's say'n "what the hell"....an' back'n up. Try it some time....cool.  

So there you have it, yesterdays tomorrow is not today. There's always tomorrow ya know.

Destination Deming New Mexico....tomorrow

Help? Well let me tell ya, them boys was gone in five minutes. One trip to the VW storage bus an' they was out of here. They ain't carry no more Billy Bob stuff. Ya just cain't get good help now days. Text'n, iPod'n....stuff like that ya know.

I'm think'n probly I-10 as my intended route to Deming. Not that I like travel'n interstates, but it's the most practical route for destination. The more scenic and most comfortable route would be US 90 out of San Antonio to Van Horn where ya pick up I-10 west all the ways to Deming. Boy howdy, I hate decisions like this.

I suppose some of ya remember my adventure in Van Horn bout three years back. Caused a internet ruckus amungst the RV'n community. All over a "overnight camp'n" citation I received at the local truck stop. There was so many emails an' phone calls, City Hall's internet system shut down an' phones only rang....nobody answer. Do I still pass through Van Horn? Yup sure do, bout a hunnert mile a hour. Only stop for fuel if'n I don't think I can make it to El Paso. Did I pay the citation? Nope, an' I ain't gonna.....never ever. Wonder if'n Van Horn ever changed their ordinance on overnight park'n??? I ain't gonna overnight park there just to satisfy my "wonders". At $85 a pop, I ain't gonna do it.      

That's all behind me now, there's a new day on the horizon. Tomorrow!!! I'm think'n long bout noon tomorrow, the gates of El Rancho Abraham will be shut behind me an' I'll be on my way. A couple hunnert miles up the road a piece, I'll overnight. Be it the rest area in Kerrville or the Walmart in Uvalde, I'll get me a good nights sleep an' wake up to a new tomorrow. Don't ya just love tomorrows???

In the mean time, I got stuff to do......laters.

Deming prep....Oh my god what a mess

I was just sit'n there, mind'n my own business an' I got to think'n...."Billy Bob, what ya gonna do with all them tools an' stuff lay'n on the floor"? Well, that easy, I'm gonna put them away.

Got me some help (muscle) lined up for today. Bubba an' the boys. All that stuff lay'n out there in the yard gonna be transported to the VW bus for storage. I'm think'n I can sit out there in my chair an' say "hey boy, git that". Now if'n I can only find me somebody to wash dishes.

Yeah boy howdy, put'n stuff back where it belong sure is easy....right??? I got waaay too many tools.....and stuff/junk. I rekon I could be a "hoarder" if'n I had me some more space to put stuff. So's I start go'n through the outside compartments one at a time. Throw out stuff I don't use no more. Two hours later I got me a little Walmart bag half full of "stuff" destined to the dumpster. What a complete waste of my time that two hours was.

I got me some tools ya know. If'n I was want'n to, I could build a house or rebuild a engine on a car. I ain't gonna do neither. So why do I carry so many tools and stuff? Simple.....I may need them. This means I kept all my hand tools, power tools an' "stuff" in overcrowded compartments. What the hell am I gonna do with a freak'n table saw????


That beef stew soup I was tell'n ya bout, well, it's over half gone. I was gonna freeze some of it, but shoot, I'm just gonna eat it. After supper tonight, there won't be but bout a bowl full left. "Where that damn goat"? Goats eat anything ya know. Sadie Mae like it too.

As the days wind down I ain't at all excitis bout that 800 plus miles I got ahead of me. Although, the weather in Deming is perfect....lows in the mid 60's an' hi's in the mid to upper 80's. Winter comes early in Deming so I better not plan on many lengthy "projects". Pesky neighbor Wayne says the weeds are growed up bout 2 feet in my old spot. I ain't gonna be do'n no weeds...."where the lawn tractor"?  Look in one of the compartments, ya might just find one.

Ok....I got many things to do.....laters. 

Billy Bob beef stew soup.....yum yum

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For those want'n a recipe, I don't do recipes. I go by what sounds "good" to me an' my taste buds....what are bout dead. Everthing taste like chicken ya know.

Billy Bob Beef Stew Soup: If'n ya ever make beef stew, this is gonna be easy.

Ya grabs a big ol' pot what will hold bout 2 gallon....or maybe 6 quarts. It really don't make no matter.  Pour bout 1/4 cup extra virgin in the bottom. Careful not to catch it on fire.
Cut ya up bout 2 1/2 pounds of beef.....not chicken an' not pork. Although they both make a good soup. Cut them pieces in bite size, bout 3/4 inches, not big ol' 2 inches square thingys what you are likely to choke to death on. Throw 'em in that super hot pot an' stir 'em so's they all brown bout the same. Brown'n is important, specially if'n ya bought some meat with a good content of "fat". Fat is good. Think flavor. At this time ya want to add a bunch of salt an' pepper. This is gonna be a big pot of soup so don't be stingy. Wild guess here...bout a teaspoon each....????? Put too much, ya cain't take it out.

Bout the time that meat is all browned up, throw in a hand full of onions, chop up of course....bout a medium will do fine. Smash 4 or 6 big cloves of garlic, chop 'em up a bit an' throw them in there too. You did lower the heat, right? Well, if'n ya didn't, do it now....medium is fine. Wait exactly 3 to 8 minutes before ya pour in a whole gob of beef broth (4 or 5 cans). At this time, I must warn ya, never ever use generic OR low fat beef broth. Flavor ya know. Put a lid on it, lower the heat just a smig more an' let 'er boil for a bit.....something like 20-45 minutes be just fine. Some chefs call that a simmer. That loosen up the beef so's it ain't like eat'n shoe leather, but you already knowed that....right?

We at a point where we gonna put some carrots in there. Three medium size is fine 'cause we gonna be add'n some more later. Again I stress bite size....choke issue ya know. Now if'n celery weren't so blamed expensive, I would suggest some chop up celery. What?....quarter cup or so? Up there in your spice cabinet, see if'n ya got some dried celery flakes....bout a teaspoon be just fine. You decide.  Hint, the celery flakes do make it taste much better.
Quickly peal a couple taters, cut in bite size pieces ya know. Ya see, if'n ya wait too long to put the taters in there, the carrots are gonna be overcooked (no more than 5 minutes between carrots an' taters). Onest the taters are in there, throw in two hand full of wide noodles.  Bring 'er up to a fast boil an' lower back to a simmer (still boil'n). Watch the clock....8 minutes. Now it's time to add some vegetables.

This is a excellent choice of vegetable, but you could always use what ever fits yer fancy. Ya want something like a couple cups. 
Now it's time to finish up the beef stew soup. Grab holt to a pac of McCormick Beef Stew seasoning. Yup, ya put that in there too. Remember, we think'n flavor here. I been knowed to use 2 pacs of seasoning depend'n on if'n I want it to taste like beef stew, stew soup or soup.

So there you  have it....enjoy.

Trip on hold

Do I dare mention what a "terrible night" I had? I am very close to throw'n my hands in the air an' say'n "eff it".

Today is "Billy Bob beef stew soup" day. Well maybe. Ya see, I been think'n bout a big ol' pot of nutritious, put some meat on bones, soup for bout a month now. But it's been too blamed hot to even boil a cup of water. With a new a/c crank'n out super cold air, I can boil anything now, an' still be comfortable.

See how easy plans can change? It was just a couple days ago I was talk'n bout I could be out of here by today. And that was my plan. But....all that stuff is still lay'n out there in the yard. Then there's "that jeep". Ya see, it's like this. Remember I tole you the a/c is die'n a slow death in "that jeep"? I ordered an' picked up the parts....twice. Joseph says to me...."Uncle Bill, let's take a look....fix it". While look'n, I find a small "cool juice" leak. None the parts store have the gasket to fix the leak, nor can they order it. I breaks out my gauges, adapters an' a can of "cool juice".....fill 'er up. Replac'n new parts an' that leak can wait. It's almost winter ya know, don't need no stink'n a/c in winter.

Made that trip to Port Aransas and Walmart in Aransas Pass yesterday. I was surprised when I pull up to the ferry land'n that there was few cars waiting to cross. In 15 minutes I was sit'n in front of the liquor store. That where I get my smokes ya know. Weren't no time flat, I was pick'n up my mail down the road a piece. Made a quick loop through town an' back in the ferry line. Did Walmart in Aransas Pass in record time, bout 2 hours an' head back to "da house" in Sinton. Was a good day for shop'n. Now I got to put all this crap away. Be'n a "old folk" sucks.

That's it, done, kapoot.....ain't got no more to say......laters.

Hunnert mile a hour golf ball

Oh boy, yesterday it seemed so easy to load up my crap an' hit the road. NOT!!!! If you think I'm fit as a fiddle an' ain't got no pains, you got another thing com'n. This shit stuff ain't easy.

After spend'n 3 hours do'n my laundry, I could hardly get out of "that jeep" when me an' Sadie Mae got home....much less carry that big ol' basket full of clothes in "da house". I was hurt'n like a sum-a-gun....I betcha a dollar. No more work for the day.

I been want'n to go swak me up some golf balls, but been kind of skeered of all that twist'n an' turn'n ya gotta do. Spend the night jump'n in an' out of bed with leg cramps all night. So.....
I go's outside, grabs my trusty driver, a ball an' a tee......KAAAPOOOOW, I swak a ball. It hits a fence post go'n a hunnert mile a hour an' that sucker come right straight back at me go'n a hunnert mile a hour. That's all for the idea of swak'n golf balls for one day. I could'a been knock slap out by that damn golf ball.
That remind me the time I tee up my ball, swak that thing a good'un, hit a tree an' it come all the ways back to where I'm stand'n. Why would anybody plant a tree that close to the fareway? An' them holes in the ground full of sand....I would rather hit a ball out of water than hit one out of sand. Sand traps suck.  


Now.....bout that a/c in "that jeep". Yesterday I was all fire up, "gonna fix this thing". Well, it's not a 2 hour job. I got to let all that "cool juice" out, replace the accumulator an' orifice, evacuate an' recharge with new "cool juice"...that takes time. With my coffee an' smoke breaks, that's a "lot" of time. So here what I gonna do....ain't gonna fix it till I get to Deming.....when ever that is. It ain't like I gonna need a/c in "that jeep" when it's hook up to the back of "Sally da house" go'n down the road....right???

Yesterday something go wrong with Google. It didn't update my blog after I punched that publish button. That was strange. After I "updated" later in the day, it show right up....poooof, just like that. I rekon the Google "gurus" was mess'n with stuff. I was think'n Blogger was work'n just fine, but if'n ya look at Yahoo, they do'n the same thing....mess'n with stuff. There ain't no call to fix something that works.

I had me a old 1956 Ford. Run just fine, don't miss a stroke, fire'n on all 8....so's I mess with it. Sheesh, now that sucker spit an' sputter, backfire, die when I trys to go...I done mess with stuff. It took a week before I get that thing back to run'n like it was before I "mess with stuff". "DON'T MESS WITH STUFF BILLY BOB!!!!"

As promised, but late, here is that new A/C unit on the roof. Boy howdy I mean to tell ya, that sucker is work'n fine. Even with the door wide open so's Sadie Mae can go in an' out, in an' out....goat come in if'n he want to.

Updated.....Diesel locomotive on the roof

Holy crap, somebody park a dad gum diesel locomotive on my roof. That what it sound like anyhows. When that new a/c come on, you know it. I'm go'n with poor design on this one. Ya see, when the a/c kicks on, the compressor vibrates, what is normal. A well designed a/c unit does not transmit that vibration throughout the entire roof structure, down the walls and make little vibrating ripples in the standing dish water. Well, it ain't really that bad, but when it kicks on, I knows it. In case ya wanna know, it works just wonderful. It's cool in "da house".

One time when I lived on the boat, I built a "Billy Bob" heat pump. Put that noisy sucker right under my bunk. When it come on, ya wake up right now. The guy what design that a/c needs to go back to "design" school. But cool, I had me the coolest boat on the block (dock). Just don't invite no chick-a-babys to spend the night.

Today I got some stuff to do. Important stuff, like pick up all the junk out there in the yard....what I throwed out of "da house". The pile gets bigger as each day passes. "Put it in the VW Billy Bob". The VW bus is my storage facility ya know. I got stuff in there I ain't use in 10 years an' ain't never gonna use again. But it's good stuff....you never throw good stuff in the dumpster.

What I'm try'n to say, is that I am mak'n preparations for departure. I'm think'n if'n I was to put my mind to it, I could be out of here in a couple days headed west to Deming, New Mexico. But.....!!!
I have to make one more trip to Port Aransas, pick up my mail an' buy me up enough smokes to last for 4 months. Walmart to refill my meds, buy a few groceries....donuts an' stuff like that. Drop by the bank an' get me a few hunnert dollar bills for pocket change. A trip to the laundromat, wash up all those dirty clothes sit'n in the bedroom. That gonna eat up a full day...or two......dang!!!

Am I excitis??? Well hell no I ain't excitis. There's work involved an' I don't like work no more. There was a time though, I would stop work only 'cause I couldn't see no more. The sun done went down...it were dark. An' I was probly hungry too. Boy howdy, if'n I was only younger again. *Sigh!!!*

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 Whoa boy howdy, them nasty clothes are now clean. Although they are still sit'n out there in "that jeep" patiently waiting to be carried inside. Maybe when it cools down a bit.

And speak'n of cool'n down a bit, I don't remember who said it, but something else broke. Not all the ways broke, but the a/c in "that jeep" is get'n close to broke.
Ordered a new accumulator and a "fizzlestik" orifice tube for it. Couple cans of "cool juice" an' I be good to go. At least that what I'm hope'n for.   

Ok....things to do ya know....laters.

Icicles on the door knob

There's not a bunch I can say bout yesterdays trip to Houston. Just another day. A physically miserable day.

While I was walk'n the aisles of the PPL r/v parts an' goodies store in Houston Texas, I forgot all bout my aching back an' a throb'n headache. I was a kid in the candy store.
"I want this, I want that.....Ummmm chocolate."
A brand spank'n new propane detector an' a light for over my stove was the extent of my "candy" purchases. Installation of these two items will be performed in my leisure time....if'n I ever get any.

The old a/c unit was removed from the roof and the new one set in place.

I'm sit'n there look'n through the box that the new control panel and digital thermostat came in.

"Where the hell is the instructions an' shit"??? Google failed to be my best friend, all installation instructions have been hidden from public view, just like Obama's past has been hidden from public view. "Now what ya gonna do Billy Bob"?

Now I got to think'n bout the situation....no instructions an' shit. "Why wouldn't this brand spank'n new a/c unit work with the "old" control box"? So's I plug in the new unit to the old box.....turn the breaker on, flip the fan switch on the old analog t-stat....the fan come on a hunnert mile a hour. Well what ya know bout that??? Then I turn it to cool. Yikes, cold air is fall'n out my ceiling vents. And they tell me this won't work without install'n a new control box. Haaa, I rekon the old Billy Bob done prove them wrong. It work just fine. I set the t-stat on 78 degs an' in nuttin flat it is 78 degs. I'm gonna like my new a/c unit. Photo of the new a/c will be posted laters. I ain't go'n up there while it's rain'n.

It's get'n cool in "da house" while nephew Joseph an' crew button up the roof duties. I'm look'n at the control box wiring an' t-stat wiring. Hmmmmmm, I betcha a dollar I can do this. Ok, I get the wiring all figger out....maybe, but gonna wait for cooler weather to try a Bill Bob wiring job. Like possibility when I am stuck over there in Deming.

I was sit'n here watch'n the tv the other night. It got boring....nuttin on to spark my interest. So's I look at my "comfort" list. That's a list of stuff I wrote down to make my life in "Sally da house" more comfortable. I scratched off the bed topper. It's installed an' the comfort is astonish'n....been a while since I sleep this good. There ain't much more I can put on that list to be more comfortable....I got everything!!! Well, maybe not a comfortable chair to sit in while I waste away my life in front of a tv. Would love to have a recliner, but ain't no room for one....the couch stays. What I gonna get new foam installed in the "sit yer scrawny ass here" part. That's a Deming project.....more $$$$.

The awning has been repaired so it will roll all the ways up. Had three "boys" help me with that....while I supervised. Now I ain't got nuttin more to fix. "What ya gonna do now Billy Bob" Watch the damn TV I suppose. 

Brand spank'n new a/c

Bought and paid for. I call the a/c sell'n place, PPL Motor Homes. They got 30 in stock....yeee haw!!!
The sale ended on 8-16, but the nice guy gave me the sale prices anyhows. Just call me "Lucky" today. Total sale price, $671.44......just put this here so's I'll have a record.
1    B59516          BRISK AIR II 15K BTU              538.00    538.00
    1    3313189.000    CTRL KIT WHT LCD COOLFURN          82.26    82.26

                                          08/19/13  STORE PARTS $  620.26
                                          08/19/13  SALES TAX  $    51.18

                                                    TOTAL      $  671.44

350 miles there an' back, right bout a hunnert dollar worth of diesel the way I figger it. That what I'm think'n anyhows. Nephew Joseph is gonna take me for a ride....yeee haw!!!

No need to say any more. I'm out of here an' be back laters.

There went that idea....

That was yesterday, this is today. Ya got to think things out sometimes ya know. So today, I'm lean'n to the side of a new motor. A new a/c unit ain't gonna make "Sally da house" no cooler, it ain't gonna be more efficient....it just gonna be new. Of course I would have a little comfort an' piece of mind in know'n it ain't gonna quit on me for a couple years or so.  Oh God, there I done went an' said it....."comfort". Back to the draw'n board till another day.

See what I'm talk'n bout, it ain't easy make'n important decisions? All it takes is one word to restart the think'n process. In this case "comfort". Most times I'm think'n in $$$$$ signs...."what this shit gonna cost me"? I even do that when I go grocery shop'n. YIKES!!!, brand name is $0.10 cents more than generic. I buy generic an' throw the nasty tast'n crap in the dumpster. But we ain't talk'n bout stuff ya eat, we talk'n bout "cool"....my poor ol' dead  a/c sit'n up there on the roof.

The reason I was lean'n to a new motor this morn'n is....that's all I need to be cool again. That shroud cover thingy I can fix with some duck tape. Total cost right bout $130, give or take. A new A/C unit, right bout $800, give or take....mostly take.

Last night sucked. Don't know if'n it was from climb'n up there on the roof, or if'n I did something else. I had "backerds" leg cramps last night. Three times I sit on the couch smok'n smokes, twistn an' turn'n try'n to get that damn thing to settle down. Thought I was gonna die it hurted so bad. 

Oh Oh....a/c out

"Oh Oh Billy Bob, a breaker trip". What the hell??? I'm sit'n here mind'n my own business an' the front A/C stop blow'n....trip the damn breaker. Ok, I'm a used a/c mechanic, I know what to do....investigate. A few flips of switches on the thermostat reveals the fan motor is dead, "bite the dust". Kapoot....don't work no more.

Well poop....went up there on the roof an' forgit all bout my blog post. Be back laters!!!!

Ok, it's laters.....not only is the fan motor kaput, the shroud cover is bout to die too. Big ol' solar cracks an' a couple holes. It needs replaced. So now I have a decision to make. Do I replace the $150 motor an' the $120 shroud....and related costs, or do I replace the entire A/C unit. Ya see, the a/c unit is almost 10 years old, has been through a hail storm what beat hell out the fin gobberdoos. One of these days, the compressor gonna die too. To make "Sally da house" a "comfort house", I'm think'n the latter is the better choice.

Oh never mind....I got things to do....laters tomorrow!

I dream a dead horse

I lay there toss'n an' turn'n, try'n to find a position where a excruciating pain would shoot down my leg an' paralyze my right foot. I ain't used to a lay'n down with no pain. Well, that weren't exactly how it happened....last night was not a pain free night. You shoulda see me jump slap out of bed while I was dream'n bout a dead horse lay'n on my leg. Ya see, I was ride'n in the Kentucky Derby. I was in first place. Here come a old sod bust'n sway back horse pull'n a plow run slap into me. It's a dream, stuff like this happen in a dream. My horse go head over heel, break his neck or something like that. Next thing I know, I'm try'n to get that horse off'n me, what was my little blankie wrap around my legs.....all tangle up. I hit the floor cuss'n, up on my toes, an' that leg cramp is gone....pooof, just like that.  

Since I was feel'n good yesterday morn'n, I figgered to catch up on my daily exercises before I do anything productive. I were only a couple days behind, so's I double up. "Shouldn't do that Billy Bob". Anyhows, I takes me some aspirin an' lay on my ass most the day.

Tried out my new pizza pan last night. Work pretty dad gum good too. Didn't burn nuttin. But I learn something. Can biscuits ain't the best dough for a pizza. It got something in it that makes it taste like.....Uhh, biscuits.

Speak'n of dreams.....back in '80 I hurt my back pretty good on a mop bucket. Ended up in the VA hospital for a while. Three weeks if'n I remember right. If ya ain't never been in a VA hospital, ya don't know nuttin bout drugs. They got drugs for everthing, an' they give me a handfull every day. Then I went home, brown paper bag full of drugs, no better off than the day I went there. 

I was lay'n in bed one night an' got to dream'n. I was on a safari in the Sahara desert, hunt'n lions. I was down on my hands an' knees crawl'n through the brush, had this old blanket pulled up over me so the lions wouldn't see me as I sneeked up on 'em.  There was a whole herd of lions. They was mad as hell at something....and they spy me. They start stalk'n me. They roared at me....big ol' teeth show'n. I roared back. Got up on my haunches.....ROARRRRRR!!!....bout a hunnert time.

My darling wife, the one I don't like, wakes up......"What the hell is wrong with you, you're all wrapped up in your blanket"?


I am just sit'n here, mind'n my own business ya know....the phone rings. It's my old buddy Gerry from California I ain't see in 8 years. "Are you still alive"??? Well yeah I am...."are you"?

You don't know bout Gerry do you? In the 50's, me an' Gerry were the towns two rambunctious, git in trouble, do anything dangerous teenagers. We went to school together. We raised all holy hell together. We broke stuff together. We was hell on a used set of wheels. I've mentioned Gerry on my blog before. Just type "Gerry" in the search thingy at the top. See what I'm talk'n bout.

We talk for bout a hour or so, catch'n up for the last 8 lost years. Everthing bout the same, other than sit'n on our ass do'n nuttin. We both had heart surgery an' we both got COPD. If I ever get back to California, gonna check an' see if'n Gerry is still alive. 

Topper review....

One night on a memory topper is not enough time for a review....is it?? Well no, it ain't.....but let me tell ya what it's like to sleep pain free for a few hours.

I was sit'n/lay'n on the couch last night....flip'n channels an' stuff. My chin was bounc'n off'n my chest, head bob'n ever direction....I was get'n ready for a late evening nap. The day's events were fading away. Ain't nuttin on TV, it's 10:30 oclock, may as well go to bed an' try out that new topper. Sadie Mae jump up there an' stop dead in her tracks. She was walk'n on water or something like that. Ain't take'n another step. "Git out the way Sadie Mae....move".

While I think of it, Anony suggested if'n I leave the topper outside too long, that damn goat will get on it an' go to sleep. Yeah he did. Just lay there in the middle of it look'n at me, like..."what you want"? 

Hey, this feels pretty good, as I sink into the memory foam. Ajust the air in the Number bed an' rolls over on my left side. I don't sleep on my left side ya know. Makes my right hip feel like a "pain in the ass". But I don't feel nuttin. I rolls over on my back. I don't sleep on my back neither....no pain. Right side....no pain. What the hell, I always have pain when I go to bed. I'm test'n the waters with all this roll from one position to another. This is amazing.

My final roll over, my belly.....poooof, I'm dead asleep. Wakes up at 3:30am with my supper in my throat. "Did ya take yer meds Billy Bob"? Well hell no, I forgot. Gulp....I swallers my meds. Well, let's light up one an' think bout this while the meds do their thing. Back in bed, I'm out like a light.....pain free no matters how I lay. I'm danc'n on clouds an' dream'n of sugar plumbs.

I sleeped till 8:30 oclock this morn'n. Feel refreshed. Right hip a little stiff, less pain than usual. But it's there. "How bouts yer feet Billy Bob"? Well I want you lookie here, they ain't swolled up. Back to normal size, blood vessels stick'n out like they supposed to. Yeeee Haw....that all I can say right now.

Ok, so ya don't think a brand spank'n new can opener is excit'n. Well, it is to me. I been use'n the old one from when I live on the boat. That bout 15 years, it's time for a new one. Cain't wait to try it out....how bout we open a can of Spam for lunch? Well shoot, Spam has a pull thingy....I'll open it with the can opener anyhows.

Speak'n of "healthy foods", the old Billy Bob eat pretty darn healthy if'n ya ask me. I ain't a fruit person, but I eat vegetables. Get 'em fresh an' raw, cook 'em myself. For those what think I don't eat enough, I'll start eat'n vegs with my smothered in mushrooms an' butter medium rare steak an' drenched in butter salt an' pepper bake tater. Sounds like a deal to me. With my hot dogs, I'll put a heap'n spoon full of relish. Relish=vegetable (pickle). Damn, I like my hot dogs.

Ok, since my back don't hurt too much this morn'n, I'm gonna do some housework. Maybe even go to town with a hunnert pound of dirty laundry. Well....maybe not.   

A wonderful day at Walmart

Ya see this small box....."Hey Bubba, watch this".

Well shoot, it didn't blow up or go "POOOOF" like I was expect'n. It says to let it swell up for 48 hours before ya put it on the bed, but I ain't gonna do that. Leave it out there in the yard for a couple hours.....I will sleep on this baby tonight.

Shoot, I ain't tell'n you people nuttin no more. The last of my worries is die'n. What I'm look'n for is a few "pain free" days before I do die. And, in case you want to know, I gonna tell my doc all bout my swolled up feet. Did you know, sit'n on your ass causes your buttocks to swell up, cut'n off the return blood flow....an' your feet swell up. I'm go'n with that one.

Walmart is done. Done been there. No refills for my meds....nice lady say it's too early. Gotta wait another week before my insurance will pay.

Then I went off look'n at stuff. Every microwave I look at is the wrong size. Would have to modify the opening. But I did find one pretty close, a inch too narrow. Left it lay'n there on the shelf 'cause I ain't mak'n two trips to the car. Park it way the hell an' gone from the front door.

Fount me the perfect pizza pan for my homebrew pizzas. Cast iron Lodge what ever the hell it is....griddle pan or something like that. Fit perfect in the Weber grill.

I betcha a dollar I don't cuss my freak'n can opener no more. That sucker don't cut all the way around, jump off....piece of crap. Buy me up a brand spank'n new one. Yup, I'm mak'n my life easier and less stressful....with a simple can opener. 

While I was scop'n out the aisles of Walmart, my freak'n foot start hurt'n. I got to find me a place to sit down an' take a break. It costed me $6.92 to sit in McDonalds eat 'em up place. They timed me too, 30 minutes, ya gotta go. Of course they furnished me with a big ol' hamburger, fries an' a coke while I was sit'n there rest'n.

The #1 sell'n brand of coffee in the entire world, Folgers Classic, an' Walmart ain't got none. Yes I was a bit rude when I asks the nice lady..."what the hell, where the Classic roast coffee"? There is no reason in the world that Walmart would ever be out of Folger Classic Roast. The nice lady tell me "tomorrow".

Did I ever tell ya bout the time....I was "evacuated" from a Walmart store. Ya see, this particular Walmart didn't put no prices on the stuff I was interested in buy'n. An' I were interested in buy'n a whole cart full of stuff. So's I start cuss'n, just a little ya know. Here come a nice lady in blue. "You can't say that in here". I tells her, "Well yes I can. I'm a full blooded, raised in the south, American redneck. I got rights ya know". She get on the phone, here come this great big ol' guy, look like a gang member...tatoos an' stuff, an' a little pip squeek floor manager of some sort, bout my size. Escort me right out the front door. I didn't buy nuttin from Walmart that day.


Then I locates me a check out. I got my stuff an' I need to go. Holy crap, I'm behind a lady with stuff overflow'n her cart. And she got one them suitcase coupon thingys that she thumb'n through. The other two open check outs have people line up all the ways to the jewelry department. This is gonna be a long wait. Oh wait, a nice young feller says...."come with me". He check me out lickity split....I'm in "that jeep" an' headed home.

I eat me up a couple jelly donuts for lunch, lay back, kick my feet up an' relax. This is liv'n the good life. For supper, I eat up a couple more. Damn I like donuts, along with a fresh cup of Folgers French Roast coffee.


Ok, I got me a topper to install on my bed. Hope that sucker swells up more than what it is now....it ain't look'n too good.  

Just rattle'n this morn'n...nuttin exciting

Well.....I done work really hard yesterday morn'n....git'n myself ready for a trip to Walmart. Got all my stuff lay out on the bed, water heater turn on....gonna get me a nice refresh'n shower. All was good to go....until......I almost fall slap out the shower. I were dizzy like when we play them spin games when we was kids. I got to lay myself down. I lay there for a long time....too long to go to town. Boy howdy you talk bout a nap, it's supper time.

Coffee was my main priority on my Walmart list. Got to have my coffee ya know. I didn't go to Walmart. But wait, I got a 1/2 container of "old" coffee in the hall closet. So's I brew some of it up this morn'n. It is definitely OLD. Real old, bout 3 or 4 months. I wonder what I would have done if'n I hadn't saved that old coffee???

I used to be a pretty popular guy at one time in my life. Not because I was a social celebrity or nuttin like that, I did silly shit. Say stuff an' "act'n up". If I was in the room, something is gonna happen. When I retired an' hit the road, I took all that silliness along with me for the ride. All that I could handle anyhows. I was happy. Then one day I turn 70 year old. That's when things took a turn. I'm fall'n down that hill what took me all my life to climb to the top. I ain't never gonna be able to climb that hill again. Ya learn to accept things as ya get older, but it sure ain't easy. Downright depress'n if'n ya ask me. I guess you would have to wear my shoes for a day to see how I feel. But anyhows, life goes on. It is what it is.

Got that full propane bottle all hook up to the Weber grill. Yum boy howdy, we gonna do some cook'n now. Oh wait, I ain't got nuttin to cook. Did somebody say Walmart? And speak'n of Walmart, what the hell, everbody hates Walmart. Shoot, they got anything you could ever want...or need, all rolled up in one gigantic store. One stop shopp'n. Big ol' flat screen TVs, beanie weenies in a can, fresh meat an' produce, nuts an' bolts, power tools....and fresh bake donuts. Even disposable Depends diapers for us old folk. Did you know, Walmart is the #2 employer in the US? Our government is #1.

I was sit'n over there on the couch an' got to think'n. "Billy Bob, you was all excitis a while back bout a couple trips you was gonna take". Well, yes I was excitis when I was plan'n an' all that. But damn, I weren't feel'n worth a poop when it came time to go. Then the time pass me right on by. Make new plans for another trip. They pass me right on by too. Do I feel bad bout not go'n? You bet yer bippy I do. This shit ain't fun sit'n here do'n nuttin. I hope my trip to Deming will make a difference in my life. Something gotta change. 

Update "pesky neighbor".....Swoled up feet

News Flash.....old "pesky neighbor"Wayne is alive.

I been sit'n round here think'n bout old "pesky" over there in Deming NM.....he ain't call me like he usually do. I wonder if he's OK? I'll just give him a ring...check up on him ya know. I sit over there on the couch, light'n up a smoke, cell sit'n next to me...that sucker start ring'n. Well how bout this, it's old "pesky neighbor" Wayne.

He's do'n super good, so he tells me an' says "where the hell are you"? I tell him I should be there by the end of the month....but I tole him that before. Sheesh!!! Don't nobody listen to the old Billy Bob?

The RV park is done gone slap to hell, weeds an' desert grass everwhere. Goat heads an' stuff. My old camp'n spot is growed up 3 feets high in weeds, "da porch" fall'n down. I won't be camp'n there. I don't cut weeds no more ya know.




I keep close track on the news ya know. Ain't much happen in "small town" south Texas , so I watch World news an' keep a eye on what them fools in Washington are do'n . I rekon it's a 50/50 deal on the "fools in Washington" part with the citizenry of the US.....you know, half agree, half don't. Pretty good balance if'n ya ask me. Now when things get all lop sided in the world, an' in Washington, like they are now, we all gonna suffer one way or atuther. We shouldn't have to suffer in America just 'cause one fool group gets a "brilliant idea" to save the country. Since when did the richest, most powerful country in the world need sav'n? No, I ain't talk'n bout "your" group, I'm talk'n bout the other one. Take yer pick, you're both right....or wrong, what ever the case may be.
"That's all I got to say bout that".....GUMP!

I got me a foot swell'n problem. Every night, my feet an' ankles is swell up like balloons. I had that happen before, but it was gone the next morn'n. Well, it ain't gone this time. Been a freak'n week an' they still swelled up. I ain't usually concern with something that goes away after a good nights sleep, but I'm think'n I'm a bit concerned now. What if'n I have to walk round the rest my life with "fat" feet??? Damn these health issues is get'n me down. "Oh Lord, what did I do to deserve this"?

It's time for that dreaded trip to Walmart. Ain't got no milk...what ain't sour, slap out of bread, no donuts, down to my last hot dog an' it's time to refill my meds. There was a time, an' it weren't long ago, a trip to Walmart was the highlight of my day. My god, there weren't nuttin like a trip to Walmart. But as of late, I dread do'n any shop'n at all....anywheres. Wears me slap out.

On top that, I got to go to the laundromat....but I think I done mention that. Damn I hate do'n laundry.

Did I mention I hate do'n dishes? Yeah, I hate that too. But I get 'em done yesterday. Still sit'n on the counter is done right? I don't see no reason in the world to take all that time to put the suckers in the cabinets when I gonna use 'em again. They ain't in my way, an' they look kind of cute sit'n there. Kind'a convenient too, just reach up there on the counter an' grab holt to what ya need.

I was read'n a blog this morn'n. This guy is "down". Truck won't start, wife an' kids left him, family don't want nuttin to do with him, his two friends deserted him....yeah, he's down. In the first two sentences, I done figger out "why". GD this, GD that. Eff this, eff that. SOB this, SOB that. This guy is flat dangerous. Hope he ain't got no guns an' go off the deep end. At least it was entertain'n to read.

Ok....got things to do ya know. Laters!

You ain't so smart Billy Bob

I don't recall the circumstances, but I was bout to flunk the second grade. Now how can ya flunk the second grade? It's not possible, is it? If'n I'm gonna learn anything, it's gonna have to be learned on the street. An' that what I did. I learned mathematics by go'n to the "nickle" picture show with $0.15 cents in my pocket. Main attraction, a serial (sp), couple cartoons, and world news. Anybody remember the picture show? 

I may not be versed in world knowledge, sentence structure, spell'n or any that kind of stuff, but I know some stuff bout how to survive. Learn it right out there in the middle of the street. Actually, I was a perfect speller until I was introduced to 4 letter words. Jist kidd'n.....I always got a hunnert on spell'n tests. Everthing else, if I got a "D", I was proud. If'n recess was graded, I would be a scholar.

I would'a done much better in school if'n it hadn't been for them dad gum little girls chas'n me round the school yard, knock me down an' kiss me right on the mouth before I could say "uncle". What the hell wrong with them fool girls? Us rambunctious (spell checker did that) boys weren't into that kind of stuff. We was adventurers, action heros....throw dirt clods....stuff like that.

Ok, that all the nonsense ya get for one day. I got dishes to do ya know. Sort out my laundy an' get it ready for the laundromat. God I hate go'n to the laundromat. Oh look, golf is on TV.....yeee haw!!!

I ain't go'n to bed....not yet

Further recliner discussions will be filed under "not at this time".

Ya see, I was sit'n here look'n at the thousands of recliner choices that pop up on my computer screen' when I clicks a button, an' I'm think'n....."them are some plumb ass ugly recliners". Some of 'em look pretty good in the photos, but when I visualize them over there where the couch is at, they don't look so good no more. I think I'm like'n the looks of that couch much better. So....gonna do some research on "chang'n the foam in a couch".
I just know...."I can do that".

Have ya ever dread go'n to bed?? Well, that what the old Billy Bob been do'n lately. I been stay'n up till almost 2am every night just so I don't have to go to bed. Lay there think'n for a couple hours, freak'n bad dreams, a few nightmares, uncomfortable, toss an' turn....and them god awful leg cramps. Stay'n up late has took care of most that stuff. But I don't want to make it a habit....just temporary ya know.
Cain't wait to get that topper. Be go'n to bed at 9pm when I get that sucker installed....sleep for 4 days. Yeah boy howdy!!!

I ain't got no bad news to bitch about this morn'n, feel pretty good matter of fact. An' I ain't got no good news worth mention'n bout neither.

Hee Heee....I'm a wizard. Talk nephew Joseph into go'n to the propane place an' get my bottle fill up. We gonna be Weber grill'n now. I like grill'n ya know....been do'n it for right at 50 years or so. There ain't nuttin like smoke an' flames com'n off a a rack of chicken legs...turn them suckers black. Char grill....oh yeah mama. I little unknown trick to grill'n perfect big ol' fat hot dogs. Before ya throws 'em on the hot grate, run a knife blade down the side....slit the skin one end to the other. Them suckers swell up big an' fat eat'n size I betcha a dollar. As with anything grilled, a perfect hot dog, has to be a bit on the burned side. Take it off the grill just before it catch on fire.....you good to go.

Speak'n of grills, here's a must read for the new followers....by the old Billy Bob his self.
Jet Powered BBQ Pit.
There are times I go back an' read bout some the silly stuff I done in my life. This story is beyond silly, it were plumb dangerous. Enjoy.

Ok....I got dishes to do, among other things.
*****************************************************************************

My god, who came up with the idea to go back an' read Billy Bob adventures??? I been read'n for on to two hours now....roll'n on the floor ya know. That guy was some kind of a nut. I would never do some the stuff he did when he was young feller......damn!!!




  
. 

Piddle round do'n nuttin

Well I want you lookie here, we got some cooler weather headed this way.....mid 90's. But not today.

I spent bout a hour yesterday, sit'n out there in the shade. In the shade, it was into the lower 100's again. What the hell???? I weren't do'n nuttin important what I couldn't do inside in the air conditioned comfort of "da house", so's I go back inside. Do me up a little housework, an' when I say little, that what I'm talk'n bout. Picked up Sadie Mae's dishes she left lay'n on the floor, sweeped the floor an' loaded up a big ol' bag of trash. Dishes patiently await my attention in the sink this morn'n.

Have ya ever look for a recliner what will fit through a 24 inches door opening? There's a lot to be considered when you're think'n of put'n a big ol' chushy piece of furniture in a RV. The most important consideration is "will it fit through the door"? In my case, it will have to be a wall hugger and the ability to swivel.....and fit through the door.
This is kind of what I got in mind....in a wall hugger model. Gotta be a wall hugger!

Or something like this....

This is comfort with a $900 price tag....ouch!!!!

My other alternative to a recliner is to "fix" the couch.

Ya see, when I had the couch reupholstered, I didn't have the guy replace the foam.....what is wore slap out from "pesky neighbor" Wayne's fat ass sit'n on it 14 times a day. Wayne is just a mite on the  heavy side ya know. My skinny ass sags down to the spring thingys....very uncomfortable an' that makes my back hurt. *I'm sit'n here look'n at that couch* "I can fix that". But I would much rather have a nice pretty "cushy" comfortable recliner sit'n over there. Any RV's read'n this, what kind (brand an' stuff) of recliner do you have?

Remember that propane tank I was tell ya bout what's empty? Well, it's still empty....no Weber grill'n in a week. I'm need'n some essentials, bread, milk, donuts...stuff like that. Maybe I'll go get me some propane. Grill me up a big juicy steak for supper tonight.

Well, I cain't say much for my exercise program. I had to stop the back exercises 'cause of the pain afterwords. That pain has subsided some since I quit. I'm still do'n the arm exercises with that rubber band stretch thingy, but my muscles are still hang'n off the bottom my arms. I'm think'n if'n I keep this up I can take Gypsy in a arm rassle contest. She challenge me ya know.

Speak'n of Gypsy, On the Road Again. That old gal has got her some spunk to drive all the way across the US sleep'n in a little "pup" tent. She's my age ya know, so why am I sit'n here "do'n nuttin"?

And just for OFM Barney, here a pic of the solar panel.

 It measures 31 1/2 inches X 42 1/2 inches. 

My comfort home....or something like that

Believe it or not, I feel pretty good this morn'n. That don't mean I'm gonna put my walk'n shoes on an' go for a walk, or jump on the "billy bike" an' go for a ride. Oh hell no, ain't gonna do none that.

First phase of converting "Sally da house" into a "comfort home" has been accomplished. Yesterday I ordered a gel memory foam topper for my bed. Be here in bout a week. Of course I ordered it from Amazon, my favorite online shop'n store. They got everthing. Will it help my back??? Hell, I don't know. If it don't, there's a dumpster just down the road a piece.

Then I was look'n at wall hugger swivel recliners. Got it in my mind to remove this uncomfortable back ache'n couch an' replace it with something I can lay back in, prop up my feet in an' sip me up a cup....comfortably. Not yet certain this is what I'm gonna do, but I'm think'n bout it.

Boy howdy let me tell ya, Texas is some kind of hot. I was gonna go outside an' change that pressure switch thingy (rotten green switch). I open the door an' holy crap, I ain't go'n out there. It were 104 degrees....accord'n to my Walmart special temperature thingy.
Much later in the evening, the temp drop to a workable level, an' I go change that pressure switch. It weren't the one I thought it would be (RGS) under the hood thingy, it were the one way up under "da house". Replaced all the missing fluid what got lost....all is good to go. It works.....yeee haw!!!

Fix an' adjust my awning an' I be road ready again. Ain't likely I'm gonna be run'n round Texas in this heat, so I ain't in no hurry. Yeah I been watch'n the temps. I should be in Alabama with the OFM Barney with all my winders wide open.

So this is where I am at today....stuck in Sinton, Texas.

Remember'n the Cuban Missile Crisis

At midnight I switched the TV over to PBS. I were just check'n, before I turned in for the night, what program they would show this late. OH my god, "the Cuban Missile Crisis".....I'm gonna watch this. I was part of that ya know...1962.  USS DuPont DD-941. Shipboard electrician 3rd class. Change light bubs....stuff like that.

The first hour was about a Russian elusive submarine what slap refused to surface from their hidyholes under the sea. Not even to recharge their batteries after they had been detected and their location pin pointed by aircraft. On board was a nuclear warhead torpedo what would have blowed a ship clean slap out the water a hunnert feet in the air.....and start a nuclear war between Russia, Cuba and the United States. They had no radio contact with Russia, so they had no idea what to do when they were finally located by the US Navy. The Russian submarine fleet commander was on board, stop'n the ships captain from firing of that one deadly torpedo. They surfaced and were sent on their merry way back to Russia. Shortly after, Russia removed all their missiles from Cuba. It was over....thanks to the Russian submarine fleet commander.

When I joined the Navy in Oct. 1961, I didn't know nuttin bout Russia send'n missiles to Cuba. I didn't no nuttin bout Cuba neither. Nobody tole me. My first shipboard mission was to Cuba, chas'n them dad gum submarines, right bout the time the crisis was at a head......bout to pop like a festered pimple. Even while we were chasing submarines all over the Caribbean Sea an' drop'n little hand grenades on 'em to signal them to surface, I still didn't know what was go'n on. Us peon sailors weren't supposed to know nuttin. Just do the job what we was trained to do.We weren't never informed that tomorrow we may be blowed to smithereens. To us, it was just a game of cat an' mouse.

That face mask thingy I was tell'n ya bout not long ago, what I ripped slap to pieces, that was part of a chemical/nuclear defense outfit we would wear if'n it came down to a attack.....or something like that. No part of human body parts were exposed to possible chemicals or nuclear radiation....duck taped tighter an a drum. The mask thingy (OBA) made "generic" oxygen to breath.

Durn'n those times of chas'n them dad gun Russian subs, we slacked up on work time......nuttin to do but smoke cigarettes, take naps an' stand ready for battle stations. I breaks out my camera and movie camera an' start tak'n gobs pictures an' movies. Had me some good ones too. Jet aircraft land'n on carriers, ships refuel'n an' grocery shop'n, helicopters, hunnerts of US Navy ships bounc'n round in  the sea, Russian cargo ships try'n to sneeks into Cuba.....stuff like that. Well hell, ain't nobody tole me I couldn't take no pictures. They was all confiscated an' destroyed. I got me a good ass chew'n.

Ain't many left what remember how close we was to nuclear war back in 1962. One day.....it's gonna happen. Just not today. 

  

   

Updated.....Fix'n "da house"

I sit outside in the blazing heat, look'n down the road for the Fedex truck. I have parts on that Fedex truck to fix "Sally da house" ya know. At some point I must have dozed off........ZZZZzzzzzzzz.
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Hours later I waked up....niece Emma hand'n me a package full of parts. Ya see, last week the "Auto Brake" went out on "da house". But I tole you that last week didn't I? I ordered the parts from Amazon, an' in 5 days, I get me some shiny brand spank'n new parts.....plus spares. It's a bout a 15 minute job to replace the "rotten green switch", but it will probly take the old Billy Bob bout two hour. You know, fresh coffee, a lawn chair for breaks, put me on some shoes, rummage through the tool box for the right size crescent wrench, open the hood thingy....then climb in there an' do the replacement.

This is the dreaded "rotten green switch". It gets it's name from the color....I mean....like...it's green.

Today is August 6th. I have one month before I run slap out of drugs (meds). My doctor lives in Deming, New Mexico. Old "pesky neighbor" Wayne lives there too. That's where the "da porch" resides. So's I don't confuse nobody what don't know, "da porch" is where the old Billy Bob used to "go outside, sit on "da porch" sip'n up a cup an' do some think'n". Sit'n on "da porch" was bout like sit'n on the bank of a creek full of rainbow trout with a fish pole in yer hands......sip'n up a cup an' think'n. 

I been think'n for quite some time....."Billy Bob, you gonna die". Well, maybe not today, but at some point in everbody's life, they gonna die....ain't no git'n round it. I ain't skeered bout the die'n part, that's easy. What I worry bout is the pre-die'n. What shape I gonna be in. Will I be in pain? Am I gonna be a burden on my family when the time comes I cain't take care of myself no more? Who's gonna take care of me? Them are the questions I ask myself every day.....an' it gets mighty depress'n think'n bout that kind of stuff.

I done throwed my last dream out the winder....not today, but a while back. My "Sally da house" r/v shelter an' patio.

I don't know bout nobody else, but when ya throws your last dream in the dumpster, ya ain't got nuttin much left to live for.

I pretty much decided to invest into mak'n "Sally da house" more comfortable.....bells an' whistles....stuff like that. I done got everthing I need, toys an' such...automatic coffee maker, a few guns I never shoot, a bicycle I don't ride, big ol' flat screen TV, 500 watt sound system what ain't been turn on for months, r/c airplane what ain't never been in the air, that r/c Mississippi sternwheeler boat thingy what sits on the wall.....yeah, I got me some toys, an' I got room for more.

For comfort, I'm think'n rip out the couch an' put in a nice comfortable recliner. Replace the microwave I cuss ever time I use it. Ya gotta beat hell out it just to get the freak'n door open. A brand spank'n new "memory foam" topper on the Number bed so's I can sleep better. A zero gravity chair for out under the awning. Lay back an' take a nap if'n I want to.

Ok...things to do ya know....Laters.

Trip cancelled

Today's continuing trip to Arizona has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

How long does it take to write a "short" story for a blog post? Yesterdays post took no less than 4 hours, two hours what was lost when blogger eat up every word I had wrote an' left me with nuttin but a "s" at the top of a empty page. I ain't put'n no blame on Blogger 'cause I'm good at "push'n buttons". While I was feverishly push'n keys, words of wisdom pop'n up on the screen, I was also push'n buttons......, everthing was gone....poooof, just like that.

Weren't much humor in yesterdays post, but let me tell ya, when ya take a Italian ladyfriend from New York City out of the city, there gonna be humor. This girl flap her jaws from the time she wake up till the time she go to bed. All day long she flap them jaws of hers. I just says "yeah, uh huh, ok, what ever", stuff like that. Her favorite say'n was...."wait, I ain't done yet"....flap flap flap for another 30 minute. Three months I listen to that jaw flap'n....turn all my hair gray by the time that trip was finally over.

Beer? Yeah, Dee Dee like her beer. We go'n down the road...she says "ya want a ice pac for your back?" and she come back from the frige with another ice cold beer. Ever time she pop a top, I jumps slap out my skin. Now I like the taste of beer myself, but at 8am? Holy craps.....that when ya drink fresh brewed coffee.

In my stash I had a brand spank'n new quart of expensive Pussers Black rum. Hide it ya know. Only has a couple sips out that bottle. We was sit'n round after a nice Italian supper, baskettys an' meat balls all she know how to cook...I says, "let's have a rum cooler". She had already fount my stash. Gone.....poooof, just like that, that bottle was empty, not a drop left. I give her some $$$ to go get us a 6 pac....she come back with a 30 pac. Turn all my hair gray by the time that trip was over.

Ok, got a Fed X delivery coming today. Got to watch for 'em 'cause they don't know me.

I may be back later......fair warn'n.

California trip 2002/2003

Grrrrrrrrrr, growl......cuss cuss.....damn, lost a whole blog post. Took two hour an'....pooof, it's gone, just like that.

Now here's what I was try'n to say......I write nonsense, But you already know that, right?

Lately I been writ'n bout a few childhood memories....adventures an' misadventures. Jist 'cause it says in the title, up there on the top, "Billy Bob's Travels", that don't mean I'll be travel'n ever day. Or camped at some exotic RV resort with a hunnert an' thirteen touristy things to do ever day. I got to do with what I got....nonsense.  

But if'n travel is what ya want, travel I got. But of course, when I travel, ya gotta put up with some nonsense too.

Me an' second "first mate" Dee Dee decides we gonna take us a trip to California.

 I been there before, so's I know how to get there. "Alice" is run'n pretty good, get'n bout 6.8 mile a gallon, hit'n on all 8 cylinders....horsepower to spare. We heads north out of Port Aransas to San Antonio. Check on the house....see what the neighbors stole while I was away for a week. Thiev'n bastards steal everthing I got. Even lift a big ol' 400 pound lawn tractor over a 4 foot fence. Garage door is wide open, everthing gone....poooof, just like that.

We make our way west the following day, after spend'n all night driv'n nails board'n up broke doors, replac'n broke locks....just security stuff ya know. Arrived in Del Rio that afternoon. Look around and says...."to hell with this", we gonna go visit Judge Roy Beans place. Dee Dee spend a hunnert dollar just like that, buy'n touristy stuff. Drink a couple brews in the Jersey Lilly saloon (just kid'n) an' spend the night.

Yeee Haw....move 'em out, rawhide....we go to Seminole Canyon State Historic Park an' Big Bend National Park. "Where all the pics Billy Bob"?
Dee Dee ain't never see no mountains an' Indian hideyholes before, so she was some kind of excitis....squeal'n "Oh Look".  She from New York City ya know.

Santa Elena canyon in the background. That the Rio Grande river run through that cut in the mountains.

We crank up "Alice" and head west on a twenty mile washboard dirt road. I named that road the last time I was here...."the dirt road". That were bout the roughest road I ever drive on. Fifteen twenty mile a hour the whole ways.

This is the smooth part. Back there by them mountains it get hairy. Big ol' ruts in the road....stuff like that. 

But first we stop off an' see where old Gilberto Luna used to live. Raised a big ol' family in that condo....rocks, sticks an' mud.
We headed on to Study Butte an' Terlingua Texas. Be there by mid afternoon I betcha. Eat up a bite an' take a look see how people live a hunnert year ago.

Most all the houses an' buildings in Terlingua are built out of roaks, probly 'cause that's all there is in Terlingua.....rocks an' a few stiks. I took to the place real quick like think'n I might some day move all my junk here an' camp for the rest of my life. Right.....!!! I tried camp'n for a week in July a few year back. Thought I was gonna die. It were 90 degs at 11 oclock pm. Ain't nobody sleep in them temps.

The cemetery was my favorite tourist attraction. Not that I like to look at dead people or nuttin like that, I like old historic graves.

Well shoot, I ain't even half way to California an' I got to get this in the mail before the mailman come. Maybe tomorrow we will make it to Arizona.....what ya think? 







 


 

A short blog??? Oh hell no

Got a email...."Make your blog posts shorter".

Well shoot, my posts ARE shorter. I could write a big ol' book ya know, like 200 pages of (like MsB says) adventures and misadventures. I could have wrote yesterdays post in probly one paragraph, but then Gypsy wouldn't have fall out her chair laugh'n an' almost break a hip. Ya gotta have just a little bit of humor in your live.

I started be'n humorous when I was of early age. In school, I was the class clown....or the "you silly boy". Teachers didn't like it much 'cause it disrupted the daily routine of "teacher power".

Speak'n of teachers, did I ever tell bout my first grade teacher. She were a big ol' thing lady teacher....waddle round the classroom with a stik in her hand. Whallop ya a good'un if'n she want to. Make ya sit on a stool in the corner after she beat hell out ya. Teachers in 1947 was mean critters.

I was already a "mean little bastard" by the time I start school. I weren't no bully or nuttin like that if'n that what you're think'n. The little girls thought I were the best thing what ever happen, me run'n round the school yard scream'n like a flipp'n banshee. I was cute an' I knowed it. But you laugh an' make fun of my second hand holey bibs or my too big hand-me-down lace up hightop shoes, I gonna hit ya right in the eye. I take plenty lickin from that teacher an' her stik.....sit in the corner for a hour. I knowed that corner well. 
Anyhows, that big ol' lady teacher was as mean as poor little Billy Bob was. And she always win no matter how hard I try. Ya see, she had more experience than I did.....knowed what I was gonna do before I did. She was always watch'n me out the corner her eye, know'n at some point Billy Bob gonna do his thing. The class is gonna laugh at his antics and ain't gonna learn nuttin. Be dummys all their life, all because of Billy Bob be'n a "silly boy".

Humor has served me well all my life. Even thought it has got me in a bit of trouble along the way. Like one time when I was in the Navy defending our country from a Cuban missile attack during the Cuban Missile Crisis. Do ya know what a "sea bat" is? We was on a train'n mission for newbie officers, kids just out of school. I catched me up a sea bat. Put him under a cardboard box back on the fantail (back of the ship where ya can land a helicopter if'n ya want to). There's a crowd of bout 30 sailors back there, most of 'em know what a sea bat is. Here come a young officer in train'n....he ain't never see a sea bat before an' he bout to see his first. I says...."there's a sea bat up under that cardboard box, ya wanna see him"? I tell him be real careful an' don't let him out. That officer get down on hands an' knees an' carefully raise the edge that box. KAPOW!!!....I hit that officer a good one, right in the ass with a broom....he see his first sea bat that day. Boy howdy, he were one piss off officer in train'n. I gets wrote up for stik'n a officer, make it all the way to "Captains mast" over a damn sea bat. I lose one stripe for 90 days an' get one week of "head" clean'n duty. Clean'n heads sucks.

 Now how did I get to writ'n that nonsense when I got important stuff to talk bout? Yesterday, I was think'n, today is a perfect day to go swak golf balls. And it were. Not too hot with a slight southerly breeze.

Have ya ever stand on top a "rickety" wooden step ladder what scare hell out ya? Wobble all over the place. Well, that what the old Billy Bob feel like yesterday.....knock that first ball right slap in the water. By the forth hole, I done knowed I should have stay home. My back hurt an' I were six strokes over par. Things weren't look'n too good. Golf sucks when ya cain't stand up. I hung it up on the 15th hole, lower back hurt'n like hell.  

A fool on a bicycle

You ain't gonna believe this, but the old Billy Bob is try'n to think of something excit'n to write about today. What could be more excit'n than somebody mak'n a fool of his self an' fall'n down? Get a few skin ups, noggin lumps, cut's an' scrapes....bruises....stuff like that.

Ya already know that when I was a youngster, I were a "whiz" on a bicycle. That was my transportation....I go a hunnert mile a hour on one them things. But a bicycle was much more than a means of transportation. It was a cowboy's horse. A jet airplane. A space ship. A racing car. For the adventurous Billy Bob, it was a ready means of "get'n hurt".

I lived with Grampa in Overland, Mo. In the basement was this old model 1920's something bicycle.....hard rubber tires....an' no brakes. I'm serious, it didn't have no brakes. "I can ride this" I says. I oils up all the mov'n parts what weren't mov'n, mount up on that thing, an' take off down the sidewalk. We pick'n up downhill speed, must be go'n bout a hunnert mile a hour. There's a car stopped at the stop sign, I'm gonna plow right into the side of it, I gotta make me a quick left turn. I leans to the left, wind flow'n through my hair....I ain't gonna make it. I crashes head long into a 3 feet deep concrete culvert. Billy Bob git skin up pretty good, big ol' goose egg lump on my head, bicycle is totaled....ain't gonna ride that thing no more.

Did I ever tell ya bout the time....the front wheel come off? I was rid'n a second hand Billy Bob "fixed" bicycle down the dump road. It was a mile long gravel road top to bottom. We used to roll tires down that hill till the cops caught us. "I can ride this thing down that hill". I takes off.....yeee ha....I go'n waaayy too fast. I hits a bump an' the front wheel come slap off the ground like I was do'n some kind of fool stunt....then it take off down the road all by itself. I guess you know what happen now. Them front forks dig into the ground, bicycle come to a sudden stop an' Billy Bob keep right on go'n. Forks bend all to hell an' gone, Billy spit'n dirt an' sand out his mouth....cuts an' scrapes all over the place. I done been in a terrible accident.

We was rid'n bikes way up on a mountain on a old timber trail road....or something like that. I looks "down" the road....way down, that would be one hell of a ride. I takes off, down that mountain trail, try'n my damndest to keep that bicycle on the road an' out of the woods. At the bottom of this steep incline road was a dead end into the main road. I got to stop. I hit the other side that main road do'n, you guessed it, a hunnert mile a hour. Me an' that bicycle fly'n through the air. See above...I done been in another terrible accident.

I runs slap into the back a car at a stop sign. I had just finish "fix" my brand spank'n new second hand bicycle. Air the tires up an' all that stuff. I take it out in the street for a robust test run. I see I need to stop pretty soon or I gonna crash right slap into that car at the stop sign. I need to apply the brakes right now....go'n a hunnert mile a hour ya know. What the hell, the freak'n brakes don't work.....I gonna crash. I goes up the back side that car, slide across the top an' down the windshield. Poor little old lady like to have a heart attack right there at that stop sign. I demolished the front wheel an' forks on that bicycle, got me a few cuts, scrapes an' bruises, but that weren't the last time I ride a bicycle. I ain't learned a damn thing have I???

Ok, that enough bicycles for one day.....what ya wanna do now? How bout we go water skiing? I probly tole this story before, but I gonna learn how to water ski. I was right bout 18 year old an' all my "uppity" friends had speed boats an' knowed how to water ski. They was gonna learn me. "Well shoot, I can do that". I put on a set of skis an' a ski vest thingy so's I don't drown while I'm gasp'n for air. "Sit right here on the end of the dock an' hold on tight to this ski rope". He yank me slap off'n that dock like I were shot from a human cannon at the circus. "Let go the rope, let go the rope... you gonna drown" as I go bounc'n across the water with no skis.

After a few more arm an' leg frailing unsuccessful attempts, I was "up" on them skis do'n tricks. If'n ya wanna call swaller'n gallons of water tricks. I learn how to jump the boats wake an' go fly'n through the air, but I never learn how to successfully land. I almost learn how to swim that day. Up there on the beach is a bunch of little high school chick-a-babys frolick'n in the water an' lay'n in the sand. Sun bathing that what they called it, but I knowed why they was there. I had seen this done before, I'm gonna go a hunnert mile a hour, let loose that rope an' glide right up there to the beach, step out them skis....say, "hello girls...my name is Billy Bob". Well, that ain't exactly the way it turn out. When I hit that sandy beach, them ski's stop right there, an' I keeps on go'n. Whoa Boy howdy I was one embarrass little red face feller. Spit'n sand out my mouth, check'n my extremities for cuts, scrapes an' bruises....chick-a-babys laugh'n there ass off.

Last nights exercise session was a bust. Ever thing I do cause pain in my lower back. Gonna give it a rest for a couple days.

Now what the hell??? I'm out of propane for my grill. I had me a big old steak an' a tater all prepared for my supper last night. The grill don't fire up. Don't that beat all??? Oh wait, Joseph got a BIG grill right over there. Fire that sucker up an' have me a purty good supper if'n I do say so myself.

I'm think'n I got the Weber grill all figger out now. Ya get that cast iron grate hotter an' hell, you can burn anything. Before ya know it, I'll be grill'n watermelon. 

I jumps on that golf cart, look at that first hole....."I can do this".