Well shoot, here we go again.....what to write?
"How do ya feel today Blly Bob"? Oh hell, I don't feel worth a poop.
"Where ya gonna go today Billy Bob"? Well, I thought bout that for a few minutes....I ain't go'n nowheres.
"Did ya know Billy Bob, the fish are bite'n"? Ha, last time a fish bite me, I got a bad infection.
"Did ya sleep good last night Billy Bob"? Nah, didn't sleep worth a poop.....bout 5 hours.
"What about yer feet, are they still swoled up"? Yup, I'm sit'n here watch'n 'em git bigger by the hour.
"Well what the hell are ya gonna do"? Hmmmmm, think'n here....probly nuttin.
"What ya gonna eat for supper tonight Billy Bob"? Oh, I don't know, probly breakfast...a big ol' pancake.
Man boy howdy, see what I'm talk'n bout....I ain't got a thing to write today. In other words, my life is at a standstill. An' I don't like that nary a bit. Something is GOT to get better.
Me an' first mate Vickie Lynn pull into Joshua Tree National Park. She's feed'n the coyotes. An' right there on a big ol' sign, it says "Do not feed the critters". The park ranger chew ME out for feeding the animals.
*look'n for photos*....*cain't find 'em*
We went to Death Valley. Vickie Lynn is feed'n the coyotes...an' yeah, there's a sign there too.
Taken at Grand Canyon...
By the way, all these photos are poor quality....taken from a photo album.
Taken Death Valley....
Now let me tell ya bout them coyotes in Death Valley. Ya see, Vickie Lynn didn't believe me when I said coyotes was eat'n the dogs food every night. She gets all lit up one night an' says she's gonna sleep outside....with the her rat terrier dog "Snoopy" an' the cat "Webster". I tells her the coyotes is gonna eat the dog an' cat an' bite hell out her while she's passed out. She sets up her camp, one more big slug of vodka an' she's out like a light.....sleep'n under the awning.
I stays up to keep a eye out for coyotes. Yup, there they are, right on time bout midnight....bout a dozen of 'em. An' them suckers is hungry. I goes outside an' round up the bark'n dog an' the hiss'n cat. Carry Vickie Lynn back inside. Next morn'n I tells her bout all the coyotes that come to visit. She don't believe me.
I goes up to the park office an' pays for one more night, just to prove my point....there are coyotes in Death Valley. Fresh water an' a few big piles of dog food is put out. We was sit'n on the couch look'n out the winder....Vickie Lynn ain't quite lit up yet, but she's well on her way.
"Oh look, a coyote" she screams.
As time pass by, here come a bunch more...an' more sneek'n round out in the bushes. They drink up all the water an' fight over the dog food. It's all gone in nuttin flat. Vickie Lynn believes me now.
Our week stay at Death Vally was a good stay. We went everwheres.
Devils Golf Course... I could go golf ball swak'n here.
The sand dunes.... Man you talk bout a hard climb to the top them dunes.
A freak'n rock..... Now how comes that sucker don't fall over?
We buy all kinds of stuff in the souvenir shops....eat up some hamburgers...tastes something like coyoteburgers or ravenburgers. Hunnerts of ravens. Cool birds.
See that one in the air? He weren't land'n, he were jump'n straight up in the air. Ya see, ever time ya yell, they jump straight up bout two feets. I musta have me a good 14 hours yell'n at them ravens. Then laugh my ass off.
Ha ha, does that make me a raven molester now?
By the way, Vickie Lynn had places a good 2 pounds of bird seeds out there. "Do NOT feed the critters".
We see a man die when his Jeep go over a cliff. That was a sad day. Ride a bicycle all around the campground with bells ring'n. *Vickie Lynn had a bunch of bells on her bike* Along with flowers an' a bunch of hippy stuff. It was super cold at night. Run the freak'n battery down on more than one occasion just try'n to stay warm. Had a neighbor I call Wyatt Earp....had a big ol' gun hung on his side. I says to him...."Hey Wyatt, are ya skeered of something in a park full of campers"? Next day his gun was gone....pooof, just like that.
That's Wyatt in the background sit'n outside just wait'n for a outlaw to pull up.
Sorry for the photo quality, but I weren't gonna scan the photos into digital. Shoot, I don't even think I knows how.
"How do ya feel today Blly Bob"? Oh hell, I don't feel worth a poop.
"Where ya gonna go today Billy Bob"? Well, I thought bout that for a few minutes....I ain't go'n nowheres.
"Did ya know Billy Bob, the fish are bite'n"? Ha, last time a fish bite me, I got a bad infection.
"Did ya sleep good last night Billy Bob"? Nah, didn't sleep worth a poop.....bout 5 hours.
"What about yer feet, are they still swoled up"? Yup, I'm sit'n here watch'n 'em git bigger by the hour.
"Well what the hell are ya gonna do"? Hmmmmm, think'n here....probly nuttin.
"What ya gonna eat for supper tonight Billy Bob"? Oh, I don't know, probly breakfast...a big ol' pancake.
Man boy howdy, see what I'm talk'n bout....I ain't got a thing to write today. In other words, my life is at a standstill. An' I don't like that nary a bit. Something is GOT to get better.
Me an' first mate Vickie Lynn pull into Joshua Tree National Park. She's feed'n the coyotes. An' right there on a big ol' sign, it says "Do not feed the critters". The park ranger chew ME out for feeding the animals.
*look'n for photos*....*cain't find 'em*
We went to Death Valley. Vickie Lynn is feed'n the coyotes...an' yeah, there's a sign there too.
By the way, all these photos are poor quality....taken from a photo album.
Now let me tell ya bout them coyotes in Death Valley. Ya see, Vickie Lynn didn't believe me when I said coyotes was eat'n the dogs food every night. She gets all lit up one night an' says she's gonna sleep outside....with the her rat terrier dog "Snoopy" an' the cat "Webster". I tells her the coyotes is gonna eat the dog an' cat an' bite hell out her while she's passed out. She sets up her camp, one more big slug of vodka an' she's out like a light.....sleep'n under the awning.
I stays up to keep a eye out for coyotes. Yup, there they are, right on time bout midnight....bout a dozen of 'em. An' them suckers is hungry. I goes outside an' round up the bark'n dog an' the hiss'n cat. Carry Vickie Lynn back inside. Next morn'n I tells her bout all the coyotes that come to visit. She don't believe me.
I goes up to the park office an' pays for one more night, just to prove my point....there are coyotes in Death Valley. Fresh water an' a few big piles of dog food is put out. We was sit'n on the couch look'n out the winder....Vickie Lynn ain't quite lit up yet, but she's well on her way.
"Oh look, a coyote" she screams.
As time pass by, here come a bunch more...an' more sneek'n round out in the bushes. They drink up all the water an' fight over the dog food. It's all gone in nuttin flat. Vickie Lynn believes me now.
Our week stay at Death Vally was a good stay. We went everwheres.
We buy all kinds of stuff in the souvenir shops....eat up some hamburgers...tastes something like coyoteburgers or ravenburgers. Hunnerts of ravens. Cool birds.
Ha ha, does that make me a raven molester now?
By the way, Vickie Lynn had places a good 2 pounds of bird seeds out there. "Do NOT feed the critters".
We see a man die when his Jeep go over a cliff. That was a sad day. Ride a bicycle all around the campground with bells ring'n. *Vickie Lynn had a bunch of bells on her bike* Along with flowers an' a bunch of hippy stuff. It was super cold at night. Run the freak'n battery down on more than one occasion just try'n to stay warm. Had a neighbor I call Wyatt Earp....had a big ol' gun hung on his side. I says to him...."Hey Wyatt, are ya skeered of something in a park full of campers"? Next day his gun was gone....pooof, just like that.
Sorry for the photo quality, but I weren't gonna scan the photos into digital. Shoot, I don't even think I knows how.
Is that bell bottoms your wearing setting on that rock?
ReplyDeleteActually Jim, them are Wranglers. Had to buy 'em oversize 'cause my back was swoled up so bad.
DeleteWhat is the story on that fish in the picture at the top of your blog?
ReplyDeleteThat was a couple three years ago at Falcon lake. It ain't the 14 pounder I was try'n for, but it was a great big ol' sucker.....think'n maybe bout 9 pound.
DeleteWhat ever happened to Vicky Lynn? Did the coyotes get her?
ReplyDeleteI'm think'n I said I carried her inside. But you may be think'n that after our return to civilization, she run off with a coyote hunter am got all ate up by a herd of coyotes. I just have no way of know'n what you're think'n Dizzy, so I cain't give ya the answer you're look'n for. But actually, upon our return, she ended up walk'n the plank. Don't ask me if'n she drowned. .
DeleteI like the pictures, digital or not. I have a lot of old photos that are better than the digital ones I take.
ReplyDeleteI like sleeping outside if I have a tent. I "coyboy camped" only one time, in the Shenandoah and lived, but prefer a tent between me and the coyotes or bears.
I enjoyed this post. That Vickie Lynn sure was a party girl!
ReplyDeleteMaybe one day you can tell us how you met her?
Thats some great memories and pretty good pics any how.
ReplyDeleteYep Vickie Lynn was somethin else.
Had me a friend years back did drank a bottle of vodka everyday, did not hang around too long and thats a good thing, can't even remember her name. She was nice when she was sober the odd time.
You sure write wonderful stories, Billy Bob!
ReplyDeleteKarenInTheWoods and Steveio
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