Ha, if'n ya think Billy Bob'b Place was boring yesterday, just wait an' see what I write today.
With yesterdays sciatica episode, I didn't do a damn thing. With all that morn'n sunshine we had, I was plan'n to go outside an' jump on the "billy bike" an' take me a long ride to Calallen.....do me some grocery shop'n. I figgered by the time I returned an' put all them groceries away, I would have plenty time to run up to the golf course an' play me a couple 18 hole rounds. But, as it turned out, the sunshine died......poooof, just like that. Little rain drops start fall'n from all them clouds. My wonderful day was totally destroyed.
Remember I was tell'n ya bout how my feet has been hurt'n more than usual? Well shoot, it's no wonder they hurt, them suckers is all swoled up again. When my feet swell up like this, I get a little nervous. What could be caus'n it? What can I do to fix it? Am I gonna die from swoled up feet an' not something normal, like a heart attack? This shit sucks.
Before I bought my 41' Formosa ketch sail'n boat, I purchased a sunk 22' Catalina sail'n boat. All it needed was to be pumped out so's it would float again an' give it a good warsh job inside an' out. The little kicker motor had been under water for a couple months, so's it had to be brung back to working order with a complete disassemble an' a internal warsh job.
Look just like this one.....
I didn't know the first thing bout sail'n no boat. All I knowed was what I read from a couple books. Shoot, I'm think'n "I can do this".
I take the afternoon off from work (University of Texas) an' go down to the boat slips. There sits my little sail'n boat....high an' dry. I loosen the lines an' climbs aboard....we go'n sail'n. Fires up the little kicker motor an' head out to sea. Actually it was the Corpus Christi ship channel. That's where big ol' ships go by ya know. When I'm far enough so's I don't crash into the rock jetties, I put the kicker motor out of gear, leav'n it run'n just in case. Just in case happen real quick like. The mailsail won't go up. Hung slap up....now it won't even come down. The wind catches what little sail I have (half ways up the mast) an' I'm headed for the rock jetty. I'm frantically try'n to get the sail either up or down....at this point, what does it really matter? I kicker motor further out into the channel towards the north jetty. The sail is finally loosen an' I winch that sucker all the way up. I'm sail'n....towards the south jetties.
There's people from work watch'n me, I got to make this look like I know what I'm do'n. I give 'em a great big "sailor" wave an' sit down at the tiller (steer'n wheel). I point the little Catalina towards Corpus Christi....but I ain't go'n to Corpus Christi. I'm only on step #1 to "how to sail a sailboat". Thoughts go back to the books I read, I trim the mainsail. My god, I'm go'n a hunnert mile a hour. I sit back an' relax....what could possibly go wrong?
That was when I hear in the not far distance....a loud ass horn. I says, "now who the hell is blow'n a loud ass horn"? MY GOD, it's a huge freak'n ship bear'n down on me...go'n much much faster than I am. I got to git outta here, an' fast...simple as that. It should be noted at this time....do not sail in the middle of a ship channel where ships travel. The little kicker motor start right up....on bout the 25th pull of the starter rope. I'm clear of the ship, let's get back to sail'n. I swear to God, it weren't 30 minutes, an' here come that dad gum horn blow'n again. It's another ship, an' I'm back in the middle of the channel. The freak'n kicker motor refuses to start...."OH SHIT". By now I am a seasoned sailor, I can do this....I sail towards the Aransas Pass shrimp boat channel. I'm done with this dad gum "ship" channel. I'm fight'n to stay on a straight course...weav'n right an' left for the next half hour an' I ain't mak'n no progress in any direction but the wrong direction.
A little sailboat passes me by. The nice sailor waves an' shouts back to me as he zoooms by...."have a nice day". Ha, does this look like I'm hav'n a nice day???
As soon as I sail into the Aransas shrimp boat channel, the wind ceases to a little puff here an' there. I'm in trouble. The motor don't start an' I'm go'n somewheres I don't want to go...aground. Fortunately, I went aground on the side of the channel where I could walk back home if'n necessary. An' I was think'n it certainly could be necessary. I throws the anchor overboard.....just in case ya know. My god, I forgot to warsh all the mud off'n the anchor rope....I'm covered in mud.
Any time I go somewheres, I go with a good assortment of tools. I got a motor to fix an' it needs fixed before dark. The carburetor is pulled. A good look see shows a little piece of blue silicon in the main jet. Silicone was used as a gasket during overhaul. YOU DO NOT USE BLUE SILICONE as a gasket that comes in contact with gasoline. The anchor come loose. I'm float'n down the shrimp boat channel drag'n the anchor behind. I'm covered with sweat an' mud an' I got a carburetor lay'n in my lap.
I reinstall the carburetor an' I sit there an' crank an' crank on that dad gum motor. That kicker motor don't make a sound. "Psssssst Billy Bob, turn the gas on". Well shoot, who would ever think of that? Gas on, kicker motor fire right up...."I'm go'n back to the slip". Yup, you guessed it....loud ass horn.
Back at the slip an' all tied up, I'm hav'n me some serious thoughts bout this sail'n stuff. Sail'n is supposed to be easy....todays sail was not at all easy day.
The next day, fellow workers ask me if'n I had any problems. I says...."no problems, a very nice day of sail'n on the water".
Ya wanna hear bout the time I hold up (blocked) the ferry boat haul'n people to Port Aransas?
Took my daughter Angela on a sail one time. Said she would never sail with me again. What the hell, I'm her daddy.
A little housework was done yesterday. Dishes all warshed up, floors sweeped, trash is out....I took me a nap. That was my excit'n day.
With yesterdays sciatica episode, I didn't do a damn thing. With all that morn'n sunshine we had, I was plan'n to go outside an' jump on the "billy bike" an' take me a long ride to Calallen.....do me some grocery shop'n. I figgered by the time I returned an' put all them groceries away, I would have plenty time to run up to the golf course an' play me a couple 18 hole rounds. But, as it turned out, the sunshine died......poooof, just like that. Little rain drops start fall'n from all them clouds. My wonderful day was totally destroyed.
Remember I was tell'n ya bout how my feet has been hurt'n more than usual? Well shoot, it's no wonder they hurt, them suckers is all swoled up again. When my feet swell up like this, I get a little nervous. What could be caus'n it? What can I do to fix it? Am I gonna die from swoled up feet an' not something normal, like a heart attack? This shit sucks.
Before I bought my 41' Formosa ketch sail'n boat, I purchased a sunk 22' Catalina sail'n boat. All it needed was to be pumped out so's it would float again an' give it a good warsh job inside an' out. The little kicker motor had been under water for a couple months, so's it had to be brung back to working order with a complete disassemble an' a internal warsh job.
I didn't know the first thing bout sail'n no boat. All I knowed was what I read from a couple books. Shoot, I'm think'n "I can do this".
I take the afternoon off from work (University of Texas) an' go down to the boat slips. There sits my little sail'n boat....high an' dry. I loosen the lines an' climbs aboard....we go'n sail'n. Fires up the little kicker motor an' head out to sea. Actually it was the Corpus Christi ship channel. That's where big ol' ships go by ya know. When I'm far enough so's I don't crash into the rock jetties, I put the kicker motor out of gear, leav'n it run'n just in case. Just in case happen real quick like. The mailsail won't go up. Hung slap up....now it won't even come down. The wind catches what little sail I have (half ways up the mast) an' I'm headed for the rock jetty. I'm frantically try'n to get the sail either up or down....at this point, what does it really matter? I kicker motor further out into the channel towards the north jetty. The sail is finally loosen an' I winch that sucker all the way up. I'm sail'n....towards the south jetties.
There's people from work watch'n me, I got to make this look like I know what I'm do'n. I give 'em a great big "sailor" wave an' sit down at the tiller (steer'n wheel). I point the little Catalina towards Corpus Christi....but I ain't go'n to Corpus Christi. I'm only on step #1 to "how to sail a sailboat". Thoughts go back to the books I read, I trim the mainsail. My god, I'm go'n a hunnert mile a hour. I sit back an' relax....what could possibly go wrong?
That was when I hear in the not far distance....a loud ass horn. I says, "now who the hell is blow'n a loud ass horn"? MY GOD, it's a huge freak'n ship bear'n down on me...go'n much much faster than I am. I got to git outta here, an' fast...simple as that. It should be noted at this time....do not sail in the middle of a ship channel where ships travel. The little kicker motor start right up....on bout the 25th pull of the starter rope. I'm clear of the ship, let's get back to sail'n. I swear to God, it weren't 30 minutes, an' here come that dad gum horn blow'n again. It's another ship, an' I'm back in the middle of the channel. The freak'n kicker motor refuses to start...."OH SHIT". By now I am a seasoned sailor, I can do this....I sail towards the Aransas Pass shrimp boat channel. I'm done with this dad gum "ship" channel. I'm fight'n to stay on a straight course...weav'n right an' left for the next half hour an' I ain't mak'n no progress in any direction but the wrong direction.
A little sailboat passes me by. The nice sailor waves an' shouts back to me as he zoooms by...."have a nice day". Ha, does this look like I'm hav'n a nice day???
As soon as I sail into the Aransas shrimp boat channel, the wind ceases to a little puff here an' there. I'm in trouble. The motor don't start an' I'm go'n somewheres I don't want to go...aground. Fortunately, I went aground on the side of the channel where I could walk back home if'n necessary. An' I was think'n it certainly could be necessary. I throws the anchor overboard.....just in case ya know. My god, I forgot to warsh all the mud off'n the anchor rope....I'm covered in mud.
Any time I go somewheres, I go with a good assortment of tools. I got a motor to fix an' it needs fixed before dark. The carburetor is pulled. A good look see shows a little piece of blue silicon in the main jet. Silicone was used as a gasket during overhaul. YOU DO NOT USE BLUE SILICONE as a gasket that comes in contact with gasoline. The anchor come loose. I'm float'n down the shrimp boat channel drag'n the anchor behind. I'm covered with sweat an' mud an' I got a carburetor lay'n in my lap.
I reinstall the carburetor an' I sit there an' crank an' crank on that dad gum motor. That kicker motor don't make a sound. "Psssssst Billy Bob, turn the gas on". Well shoot, who would ever think of that? Gas on, kicker motor fire right up...."I'm go'n back to the slip". Yup, you guessed it....loud ass horn.
Back at the slip an' all tied up, I'm hav'n me some serious thoughts bout this sail'n stuff. Sail'n is supposed to be easy....todays sail was not at all easy day.
The next day, fellow workers ask me if'n I had any problems. I says...."no problems, a very nice day of sail'n on the water".
Ya wanna hear bout the time I hold up (blocked) the ferry boat haul'n people to Port Aransas?
Took my daughter Angela on a sail one time. Said she would never sail with me again. What the hell, I'm her daddy.
A little housework was done yesterday. Dishes all warshed up, floors sweeped, trash is out....I took me a nap. That was my excit'n day.
It's a wonder you ever went back out on the water. I would have hung up my sailor's hat forever after missing all those big boats and finding myself still alive! You are a true adventurer!
ReplyDeleteLet me tell ya bout that hat. On my first sail, I wore a blue sailor hat. After me tell'n everbody I had a nice day on the water, I was gifted with a "white" captains hat. This is the one I wore when I blocked the ferry boat.
DeleteGypsy, them weren't big boats. They was huge ass ships an' huge ass ships skeer hell out me when I'm in front of 'em. Their only option is to run slap over me an' hope I survive.
Cow pissing on a rock down here.
ReplyDeleteAll we have over here is clouds an' a little drizzle......you lucky dog.
DeleteBB, like those old cigarette commercials for Virginia Slims, "You've come a long ways, Baby!"
ReplyDeleteYup Wil, I walked a million miles. Sore feet, but I made it this far.
DeleteSure reminded me of some of our sailing days. How about capsizing right in front of a Coast Guard cutter--yep we did that. They rescued us but we probably could have walked back to our car too.
ReplyDeleteHope you was in a little sailboat when ya capsized. But in front of a Coast Guard cutter, that would be soooo embarrass'n.
DeleteWow, I love those boating stories. I have a few myself but not as good as yours. Keep them coming captain BB.
ReplyDeleteI kind of like 'em too Dizzy. Brings back many many good memories. Oh wait, should I bring up some bad memory days? I had me some them too. I told ya bout jump'n off my shrimp boat an' get stuck in the mud....didn't I??? Shoot, thought I was in a hunnert feet of water an' it was 6 feet.
DeleteWent to the doc with my feet swelling, and i had done nothing different, i thot. Then i realized i had been taking an aleve every morning for my hip pain. He told me aleve would make you retain fluid, and now, feet are normal, no more aleve, ever.
ReplyDeleteI been tak'n Advil an' aspirin every day, but I don't think that's where the swell'n is com'n from. Possibly my cook'n? No, don't think that's it neither. But...I sit on my butt way too much. That's what I'm think'n anyways.
DeleteI do that too,, hurts to move. lol hurts to sit too.
DeleteMine had started swelling about 2 weeks before so it had to be something i was doing different.
Imagining you pulling that starter rope with a big ship coming is better than watching a TV show! Fun to read about it; not that much fun for you living it!!
ReplyDeleteOh, I weren't all that skeered when the motor didn't start. Shoot, I done learn by then how to set the sails an' git the hell out the way. Did I ever tell ya bout the time I went flounder gig'n over on St. Joe's island. Got sand in the water pump....broke down in the middle of the same channel....an' I hear a loud ass horn. Now that....skeer hell out ya.
DeleteI've heard of frog giggin' but didn't know you could gig flounder.
DeleteYou sure lead an adventuresome life!
ReplyDeleteKarenInTheWoods and Steveio
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(Blog) RVing: The USA Is Our Big Backyard
http://kareninthewoods-kareninthewoods.blogspot.com
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