Old news

Well, I guess it's about time to "write" something.

I found that the older ya get and the more ya write, the less there is to tell. For the last 1 1/2 years...or something like that, I've poured my life's story out to this blog. There ain't nuttin more to write about.

Christmas dinner at the slabs was a complete success again, just like the 2 years before. There was right at 25 in attendance with plates and eat 'em up utensils in hand. We had a solar baked ham (by Chili Bob) and a big ol' fat turkey (by Rich and Mary). Both were spectacular. After dinner, we all sat around the campfire, bellies full, and BS'ed about world affairs.

This is a test...... gonna see how long it takes to upload a 15 meg video. Hmmmmm....right at 5 minutes.

Been work'n on "da boat" for the last week installing the motor and drive for the stern wheel. Look'n good so far. Turns right bout 120 rpm what should make it go close to a hunert mile a hour or so. Looks like I may be tak'n a day trip to San Diego for more parts. Why don't Walmart carry parts for Mississippi river boats???

Speak'n of Walmart....got my list all wrote out and ready to roll. Been out of meds for a couple days now so guess it's bout time to go git me sum more. Speak'n of meds....since I ain't had none for a couple days, I been feel'n pretty darn good. Ain't had no pains, blood pressure fine, still breath'n, but still can't remember a damn thing. Why just the other day I was talk'n to old Uncle Ben and was gonna write something down on my Walmart list...in just a minute. Well, waited more than just a minute....now have no idea what it was. Drives me crazy cain't remember shit.

Look'n like old Billy Bob gonna get a taste of winter here in a couple days. Weather thingy says it gonna get down to 32 degs. Not in the day time silly's....night time. Yeah, go head and laugh....it's headed east where all you other people lives. Glad I filled my propane tank the other day.
We been in the upper 40's at night and lower 70's during the day for the last couple weeks. Cain't beat that with a stik. Eat your hearts out!!!

Jet powered BBQ

 

Jet Powered BBQ Pit
by barnacle bill

   

In south Texas everyone has a homemade BBQ pit of some sort, but old Barnacle Bill, he didn't have none.  I seen some really snazzy look'n ones and now I got to decide what kind I was gonna build. Barnacle Bill is a builder, ya know!!!....Make stuff....  After lots of thought as to design, I decided on building one those round ones.... You know, them really cool look'n ones.      I searched around and found this old 10 gallon propane tank like what ya use on a travel trailer.  The size looked right and not much rust. I made a quick drawing of what I thought I wanted it to look like.  A few measurements was made and a lid was sketched out on the side of the tank.     Now Barnacle Bill ain't no dummy ya know! This thing at one time contained propane, a "highly flammable liquid" what explodes on contact with sparks and flame..... and I'm going to open it up with a cutting torch. Got me a big ol' pipe wrench an' takes out that valve assembly thingy...then I takes me a big ol' whiff.  Sure nuff, this thing used to contain the "highly flammable liquid" gas cook'n stove fuel called propane. Then I got a think'n...."how the hell ya gonna get that smell out there"?  Now, what better way to remove the fumes than to fill it with water?  What I did!!! Three times. Then to be on the safe side, I blows it out with a air hose...three times. Ain't no more that "highly flammable liquid propane" stuff in there.     Then I take it back into the shop, laid it on the floor, but still being just a mite leery as to the  past contents, "highly flammable liquid propane", I lights up a smoke and takes me a five minute break to survey the upcoming game plan.   And think out all the possibilities as to what was about to happen. Hell....it couldn't blow up. Could it?? I took all the "highly flammable liquid propane" stuff out.     Being safety minded, I made sure that the fire extinguisher was handy and that there was an open unobstructed path to the door. All looked well!!! Precaution #2 was to be on the "extra" safe side. So I pulls out my trusty Bic lighter. Yeah!!! I cautiously put the flame in front of the hole, keep'n back at arms reach...ya know. Bet you thought all hell were gonna broke loose, didn't ya?Nuttin happen.  Well it didn't.....until I turned the flame into the hole. Holy Crap!!!! Ignition!!! There was this God awful sound of a big ol' jet engine filling the room. Beautiful blue flames com'n out from that hole where I took that valve out...shoot'n 10 feets. My BBQ pit was on the move...LOOK OUT!!! Shoot'n across the room under it's own power. Across the shop floor it went, taking out and bounc'n off everything in it's path.     I was definitely just a little "shook up" by all this excitement...boy howdy let me tell ya, was I ever...thought I done wet my drawers. My pride and dignity was terribly hurt from all the laughter and hee ha's from all the onlookers, which had kept their distance and made quick exits from the building. As I surveyed for any damage to property or person, I felt this numbing and burning feeling to my right hand. MY GOD, am I on fire??? A couple weeks later my hand was completely healed and that "Jet Powered BBQ" was sizzling the finest steaks anywhere south of Dallas!!! Happy Sailing !!!

Slabs

Someone asked me about the slabs. Well shoot, what is there to say?

If ya ever been out in the desert....you know, where there ain't no grass and trees, then you have an idea of what the slabs is like. But then again, it ain't at all like that at all. In the winter it becomes a city of r/v'ers from every walk of life show'n up in little homemade travel trailers, converted vans, old school buses and  makeshift tents....all the way up to high dollar Prevost motor homes.  As of today there may be only bout 2000 of them, but they are still coming. From everywhere. They come in droves from Canada and every State as far east as New Jersey. This place is known throughout the country as simply "the slabs".

Now why do people come from all these different places to this God awful place called the slabs? There's other places you can camp for free. Other places that are warm in the winter. But yet, they show up at the slabs. There's nothing special about the place other than it's uniqueness to anywhere else. There's no electricity other than what you make yourself with a generator or solar panels. There no water, no sewers, no grocery stores, no services of any kind....only emptiness, bushes, a few desert trees, concrete slabs for years past, trash piles here and there....a dismal look'n place. But it's alive. There's a church, a couple little makeshift clubs where campers congregate, two book exchange libraries, two outside live entertainment establishments where people hang out drink'n beer, smok'n pot, hoot'n and holler'n...hav'n a good ol' time.

Now if ya wanna do something at the slabs, ya could run over to the Salton Sea and look at the old abandoned buildings that were packed with tourist back in the 50's. Or ya could drive up the road a piece to Indio and Palm Springs...just to take a look see. If ya like to gamble, ya could drive up to the Indian Casino on the other side the sea. Or stop off for a world reknowned "date shake"...just up the road a piece. Actually, there ain't much to do any wheres close. Oh, there's hot springs all over the place, but who want to see an old hot spring? Then in February there's the donkey BBQ not too far from here. Yeah...they used to BBQ a donkey. Now it's a pig or two.

That's bout all I got to say bout the slabs for one day. Will try to post some pics on my next post.

Now I got to heat me up some that chili and a couple dogs before the campfire. See's ya laters....

Bored at da slabs

Somebody was tell'n me "ya gotta update your blog". Well hell, update it with what? I ain't been do'n nuttin.

Tuesday I was sit'n here think'n....let's go golf ball swak'n. That what I did. For such a small town, they got a BIG golf course (6100 yds). Trees and stuff in the way. This course was designed for "young pups" what can hit a ball a mile or more. Us old farts can't even see that far, much less hit a golf ball over 180 yards. Old Billy Bob was hit'n 'em straight and true, putt'n like a pro for a nice 92. Cain't beat that wit a stik.

Broke out the old remotet control car just for something to do. Boy howdy here come the dogs say'n...."what the hell is that"?? They was chas'n it like they was gonna eat it...but they was skeered of it.... not know'n if it bites or not. Anyhows, that got boring so I just sat in my chair sip'n a cup and think'n..... "now what ya gonna do Billy Bob"?

Old Tennessee Ken got caught down at the hot spring with no clothes on. Sheriff ask him where his clothes was and he says.... "at the house".

Speak'n of no clothes on....I remember one time I was down on the beach drink'n a few beers when up pull the local law enforcement shining a big ol' bright light on me. My God, somebody done stole all my clothes...that what I told him anyhows. I were stand'n there stark neekid with a fish pole in one hand and a beer in the other. Just thought you'd like to know.

Been lots of people out here what been sick. Some kind of "bug" go'n round or something like that. Well old Billy Bob ain't gonna get sick too, so I takes me a whole hand full of vitimin "C". If'n ya takes mega dose vitimin "C" ya ain't gonna get "da bug". Been over 17 years since old Billy Bob had sniffles...knock'n on anything made out of wood.

Been watch'n the weather all over the place and hehehehehe.....let me tell ya. It been it the lower 50's here at night and a few days in the lower 80's. Now where else can you find weather like this?

Ok.....that's the news from the slabs in southern California.

More "Cotton Pick'n" jail

Ya see, it's like this....when ya go to jail for Mr. Meaners they don't lock ya up in a cell with some rough look'n dude. They send ya out to the farm so's they can make ya work for your room and board. When ya get there, theyt put ya in a big building in the minimum security area with bout 40 other criminals. Ya sleep in bunks just like what they used to do in the military. I think our military have condos now days.

Anyhows, I was in minimum security....on a top bunk with a great big ol' wrastler, or something like that, sleep'n under me. I step on him one night get'n up to go pee......boy howdy, don't wanna do that no more. In minimum security ya get to got to town and stuff like that.....to work shovel'n stuff, pick'n up trash and what ever. Well....we jump in a truck before sunrise and head out the gate for another exciting day in town. But it weren't town we was go'n to.....it were a cotton field and we was gonna pick cotton.

Old Billy Bob ain't never pick no cotton so this was gonna be a new experience. An adventure. They give me this big ol' long sack and says...."fill 'er up". My God, it's a half mile to the other end that row. By the time I got there to the other end I musta had me at least 3 pound of cotton in my sack. Well, the night before I didn't get much 'cause that big feller what sleep under me snore so loud. I was sleepy. I look around and I'm down there on the other end that row of cotton all by myself....nobody around. Well hell, I'll just lay down here for a few minutes....nobody gonna see me. Yep, they sure did see me. They take me right straight back to the jail place and lock me up in one them little cells with only one wide open window and a bunch of bars. Sheesh, I were only rest'n for a minute. Pick'n cotton ain't easy ya know.

I got me 10 days in solitary confinement...two meal a day and no smokes. It were cold in there with only one little skinny blanket and no heater to keep the place warm. The meals was 2 slices homemade bread and a can of ice cold fresh milk. But on the third day, for supper ya got what the rest of the convicts was eat'n. What ever it was they was feed'n me sure did taste good. Probably goat 'cause it smell like old dirty socks.

I weren't in solitary confinement but 2 night and I hears someone call my name through the open window. It were that big ol' feller what sleep under me what snore all night long. He brung me some smokes and matches what he throwed in the window.....what I couldn't reach. So's I take my bed sheet and tie it to my "blankie" an I rake all them smokes and matches right in my cell.

In the cell right next to me was this "crazy" guy on crutches. He scream all night long all kind obsintities. "let me outta here"....you know stuff like that. And he bang'n on the back wall and bars with them damn crutches. One night he says...."is that smoke I smell"....."toss me one"...."you bastard". Well that did it. I was already perturbed with his holler'n an' bang'n with them damn crutches for the last 2 nights, so's I start blown'n smoke in his direction. Boy howdy, ya should a hear him do some holler'n now. Anyhows, the day before I was to get out of there, this "crazy" had done busted a hole on the back block wall with them damn crutches and was walk'n around the fenced in compound in broad daylight like he own the place. I think he was sent back to Bakersfield for mental evaluation.

So there you have it, Billy Bob's cotton pick'n days.

American Legion Beer Joint and Grill

Yup...that where we headed off to this bright Sunday morning. Just up the road a piece bout 30 minutes eat 'em up some country ham, some fried eggs and a pile of fried taters....yum yum yum. Listen to some drunk beat up the piano, mumble a few tunes....drink'n a beer.

My mechanic dropped by yesterday for to fix some stuff on "da house" and replace the water pump on "that jeep". See, I tole you something else would go wrong with it.

Still t-shirts and one blanket weather. Boy howdy. All the rest of the country is already shovel'n snow and old Billy Bob is sit'n outside on "da porch" sip'n a cup and chas'n dogs with the remote control car. One big ol' dog, "Luke", bout the size of a great dane ruffle up his hair and here he come say'n "what the hell is that"? I rekon he ain't never see a remote control car before. He was chase it like it were a rabbit or something like that. Holy crap, if he catch it, he gonna kill it and eat it.

Since I restored this computer it's been work'n a little bit better....until this morning when I woke it up. Hard drive been run'n for the last 30 minutes and ain't done yet. What the hell is it look'n for???

Had us a nice campfire last night....bout 10 of us sit'n round BS'n and look'n at the flames. I went look'n to hear some "gossip" but nobody had any good news. Kilt feller got his stuff straightened out so I rekon that episode is history. Damn....I wanted to see a fist fight like back in 1914 when my great grandpa knock some guy on his ass. Weren't nobody mess with old Willian Perry Birchfield when he show up in town. He rode a horse name Snorter and toted a big .44 on his hip. That what they did back in them days. There was still Indians steal'n stuff ya know and kill'n people what they didn't like. Yep....them were rough times.

Ok....time to hit the road up to the American Legion Beer Joint and Grill for a hearty breakfast. See's ya laters.
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Boy howdy let me tell ya.....that were one breakfast. By the time we got there, the place was packed....fill'n up 3 25 foot tables and 1 16 footer. Of course the old feller was plank'n away on the piano, sip'n a beer and attempt'n to sing a tune. Old man Leonard Knight was there sit'n right next to me. He's the guy what built Salvation Mountain. He were eat'n french toast what I suspect he ain't never ate before. Pick 'em up with his fingers and took a bite. He didn't know ya supposed to put surrp on them before ya pick 'em up. Twenty five year he been build'n that mountain and he ain't done yet. Oh go head...google it.....knows ya want to.

Now wait just a minute here....Dizzy. I can only write one story at a time and you want'n to hear bout old William Perry. I still got to write about "cotton pick'n" in jail. And then there was someting else I was suppose to write about....but no one reminded me....what made me forget what it was.

Anyhows, back at "da house" with nuttin to do. To dag nab hot to do very much. Somewhere's in the mid 80's I'm rekon'n. Finished another book bout some 6 foots tall Indian out here in Death Valley. Almost kilt his self with no water to drink, his horse done run off and some hippy dude was shoot'n a .50 cal. buffalo rifle at him. Funny how he surrived and saved all them people.......just like that.

Computer restore

Ok....everyone knows Billy Bob is hav'n computer problems....right???

Ya see, it's like this.....every time I turn the computer on, there this little window what pops up and says..."can't fine such and such file". After that, it's takes almost 30 minutes before the hard drive gives up and quits look'n for that miss'n file.....or something like that. So here what I gonna do. Restore the entire computer back to the way it was when I got it. Sounds simple huh? Maybe it is for you, but for old Billy Bob, I dread it. It gonna take me a month to get all my stuff back up and run'n.

But never fear....I have a second computer in "da house". I can even get online with it. Speak'n of get'n on line.....boy howdy I been hav'n a time. The signal keeps drop'n out and then it come back on....then it drops off again. This really sucks ya know. I'm think'n that being this close to Salvation Mountain has a lot to do with it. Don't know what Salvation Mountain is??? Google it. This old religious fart built him his own mountain out of hay bales and mud. And then he painted it all different kinds of colors. Really interesting....Google it.

Some guy wear'n a kilt came up to the campfire last night and started run'n his mouth.  Thought there was gonna be a fist fight the way he was a carry'n on. What the hell, men don't wear kilts (skirt). After all that excitement, there was a bunch of drunks, or something like that, run'n round the camps holler'n and scream'n like they was in a bar or something. Seen 'em shin'n flashlights in peoples windows, so I loaded up the ol' .357 with some powerful medicine. A .357 is an off button on a flashlight ya know. Ask Santa bout the .357 one dark night. Remind me and I'll tell ya bout that one.

Ok.....I'm off to start the restore on this POS computer. Wish me luck....I gonna need it.

Update......well I got part of it done.....and it weren't easy. But I am back online an "watch'n ya". So don't be try'n no silly stuff.

Jail??? Who, me?

Ok, here's the deal.

As most of you know, old Billy Bob is an upstanding law abiding individual, never break'n the law or none that stuff. Pay my taxes, drive the speed limit, don't steal stuff....yep, Billy Bob is a clean cut feller. But....when I was a teenager, things were different. I had long hair combed back in a DA, wore mostly black clothes, drove like a maniac, didn't have no driver license and broke the law.

Ya see, it were like this.....I had lived with my Aunt and Uncle for a little while when I arrived in Ridgecrest. I hitchhiked there cause my dad was in jail down in Los Angeles for drunk driv'n or something like that. I lived in an old construction trailer for a while and then we moved the trailer out to the 5 acres bout 6 mile from town. You know, the one with no electric or water. At the time I had this old 1936 Dodge 4 door sedan what had a rod knock'n in the motor.....never could blow that sucker up, and I tried. Rev'er up as tight as it would go, pop the clutch spin them tires. Yeah boy howdy.

One night I decided to head to town and see the girls and listen to rock an roll at the "hang out". I was cut'n down the road bout 60 mile a hour and I see these red lights a flash'n. Oh crap, it's the cops. We didn't call 'em cops back in them days. They was police/police officers/the law.....that was call respect. I says..."well shoot, I'm a quarter mile ahead and get'n close to town....I'll out run him and hide". There were only two cop cars in town so I figgered I had a good chance long as the old Dodge kept run'n. Spun around a couple corners headed into a residential area....yeah, I'm home Scott free. Only two blocks to go and that cop was gain'n on me.....only half a block behind. I come around the last corner headed for the home stretch when I think I went up on two wheels....started slid'n and into the bushes and someone's fence. Then the motor died.

I didn't want to tell my aunt and uncle I was in trouble, so I just went off to the jail house think'n I would tell them tomorrow when they let me out. Right....I was tell'n it to the judge before 9am.  Can you believe I was sentenced to 90 days in the "big house" over in Bakersfield for driv'n with no license, speed'n, wreckless driv'n and resisting arrest.

Well it was get'n close to Christmas and things was slow at the "big house". I ain't say'n all we did was sit on our butts and "do nuttin" all day....we worked. Went on road gangs, pick up trash, shovel shit,  pick cotton.....we had a good ol' time. Then they decided they would kick some of us out...early. I had been there only bout a month and they kick me out....poooof, gone, just like that.....on the side of the road 100 mile from home.

Remind me to tell ya bout "pick'n cotton" in jail.

Jail time

Have ya ever went to jail???

Well old Billy Bob did.....but I didn't shoot nobody or nuttin like that. It were back in bout 1959 or somewhere's bout then. But I ain't gonna tell ya right now. Ya see....I had this old 1936 Dodge 4 door sedan......

Ya see it's like this, I look outside and I got me a flat tire on "that jeep". Hmmmmm....them are brand spank'n new tires. New tires don't go flat for no reason. "What's this"??? A freak'n screw. They don't use screws to put a tire on the rim. They stretch it like a rubber band.....let it loose and walla, tire is on the rim. Anyhows, I blowed it bacj up and am headed to town to the tire fix'n place. May even make a quick stop at Walmart just to say hello. You know me and Walmart.

BOOOM goes the big guns

Well, here it is another day at the slabs. I would say a beautiful day, but it ain't. It's all hazy out there and the wind is start'n to kick up.

Did you know I'm camped right on the edge of the bombing and artillery range? Well I am...and the first thing they did this morning was shoot some big ass gun or something like that. Shook "da house" and I waked up real quick like say'n..."what the hell"? Last year I remember one day they done dropped one them "bunker buster" bombs or something like that. You talk bout scar'n the hell out ya, that did it for me. I jump up real quick like....say'n "what the hell". Then I look at the mountains.....holy crap....big black could of smoke. They blow'n up the mountains.

Ain't much excitement go'n on in Billy Bob's life the last few days. Been accused of "bitch'n" too much, but that's what I do....that's my job.

Speak'n bout job.....??????....well darn....done forgot what I was gonna say. It'll come to me in a bit. It's hard being retired ya know.

Been wonder'n where some of my followers have gone off to. They may not know it, but they are missed. Take MsB for instance.....where the hell she at? And then there's Nick. I been wait'n for him to show up at the slabs for a visit. Once ya meet someone in person and look 'em in the eye, ya kind of miss 'em when they're gone.

Was read'n a book last night. There was a thousand Indians on the war path....rid'n down the hill yell'n, shoot guns an' arrows, throw'n sticks and all that kind of stuff. I done dug a hole I made with my busted saber....was in the calvary ya know and them Indians was out to kill me and my old three legged  horse. It was way past 12:30am before I kilt all them Indians. Damn I were tired.

Look'n like "da porch" time. Go outside, sip a cup and do some think'n. Be back laters or not.

What??? Clouds, I don't believe it

Boy howdy, it was a different mor'n for sure. I woke up just a little after day break and all I see is clouds. And then my Verizon card wouldn't hold a signal. But now that the sun come out a bit, I have a signal.

Ok, here's the deal. I got tired of listen'n to that freak'n fan whin'n so's I cut a hole on the bottom of the computer....right under that noisy fan. Then I got to look'n real close. Is that hair I see? Yup, it sure is. See...

Even took out the hard drive to check it. It was clean. Then I crank it back up......oops, forgot to put the hard drive back in. But the fan sounded a whole bunch better. Then I put my trusty bearing tester on the fan motor. Yup, the bearings don't feel that good. But what the hell, it's run'n.

Here's my newest project. I call it my "reed racker".

Ya see, it's like this...when I get to Yuma at "da pond" where I gonna catch all them fish, the banks are growed up with reeds. And if'n I want to throw my fish pole out there where the fish is at, I got to cut down them reeds. This little gadget is gonna do that. The round pipe fits right inside my flag pole so's I can reach out bout 10 feets and "rack" them reeds slap out of the way.

Last night I got to think'n.....let's play hide and seek. Here's the idea....don't tell nobody where ya at and let everyone guess. Maybe give a few hints along the way. What ya think???

Plenty of sunshine

Holy crap Billy Bob, is it beautiful out or not? It sure is nice to wake up in the morning to sunshine and warm temps. Try bout 47 degs outside for the last two mornings. Cain't beat that wid a stik.

Well, I guess by now everyone is get'n tired of listening to me bitch bout all the computer problems I been hav'n. Either that or you're hav'n a good laugh wait'n for the damn thing to blow up in my face. So here's the deal....I ain't tak'n this thing apart. After read'n the "manual" on how to take it apart....holy crap, forget that. There's 107 screws, every component has to be removed and disconnected....just to get to that noisy fan. Forget that!!!

Later sometime today or maybe in the next week I'll restore the operationg system back to like the day I bought it. But in the mean time....forget that too. Think'n maybe I'll just take it to someone what know what he's do'n. What ya think???

Ok, let me tell ya bout that big ol' pot of chili. Ya see it's like this, I brewed me up a great big batch....bout a couple gallon. I set it to "rest" after it was done cook'n, but I stole me a bowl just to see if it's was "right". You bet ya it was right....damn it was good. After it rested for a few hours, I says, I want me some more that chili and crank up the burner. Well, everybody know how that works, ya forget about what ya do'n and then ya smell something burn'n. Yep, I done burn my wonderful south Texas chili. Dug me out a bowl and it don't taste the same......Hmmmmm....tastes kind of burnt. No....I ain't gonna throw it out...gonna eat it.

Ain't much go'n on at the slabs. You know, just lay'n round "do'n nuttin" most the day. The bombing range has been quiet this year compared to last year. Hear a few gattlin guns and a couple bombs explod'n, no earthquakes yet.....yup, been pretty quiet. Did I ever tell ya bout the time....me and Gerry was out chukker hunt'n up in the desert and we fount an old miner cabin. Inside the shack was this half a box of dynamite. Well we done figger out a way to blow that stuff up. Yep, it blowed up. Set us on our ass too. Holy cows, no wonder that crap is dangerous for kids to mess with.  Never see a chukker the whole day.

Never tell ya bout the time I went mountain lion hunt'n did I?? We was camped up at Robbers Roost for the weekend....bout 5 of us as far as I can remember. Ya see, Robbers Roost was an outcrop of great big ol' rocks where the outlaws used to hang out wait'n for the stage to come across Walkers Pass in the Sierra Mountains. Then they would ride out and rob the stagecoach....stuff like that ya know. We used to drive down Walkers Pass in Mexican overdrive back then. Don't know why, but we was go'n bout a hunert mile a hour when we got to the flat area of the highway before it dead ended into highway 14. Boy howdy, what a ride.

Ok....got things to do.....change the battery in "that jeep". Then go for a ride look'n for my Texas flag. Still can't believe someone stole my flag. Why don't anyone like Texas except Texans???

Update......when for a ride....nope, ain't no Texas flag fly'n nowheres. But I did stop off at Solar Mikes and bought me up a brand spank'n new 600 watt pure sine wave inverter. There goes sav'n a buck. Installed it and now I can run anything I want....as long as it's under 600 watts. Ya see, it's like this, my old inverter was a 2500 watt modified sine wave....what ya can't run a fan off of and it mess up audio equipment an the little fans don't work no more. Now I'm set for life.
Oh yeah, Solar Mike says my batteries in "da house" are just fine. How bout them apples???

Speak'n of audio equipment, I fount me just what I been look'n for at Walmart. Or I think it's what I been look'n for. Will do a little research before I buy it. I like to buy stuff ya know.

My God...what the hell???

Holy crap, I don't understand any of this stuff.

Ya see, it's like this....I went to my Walmart store and bought me some stuff. A new battery for "that jeep", an external hard drive for the computer, a can of air to blow out that fan and some groceries.

Well, first thing I done was blow out that fan...what didn't help not even a little bit. If I knew how to take this sucker apart, that fan wouldn't be mak'n those noises. Ya gotta take screws out of the bottom to get the top off. Then when ya get the top off, ya gotta take screws out of the top to get the bottom off. Kind of reminds me of Windows...ya gotta hit the start button to turn it off.

Then I hook up that external hard drive....500 gig, more than I'll ever need. Installed some kind of a progran and went to work. Holy crap, it's doing a back up.....WHY??? What's the use of backing something up that ain't work'n anyhows. Ok...that was done while I finished a book. THen I copied my entire "D" drive to the external drive....that's the stuff I don't want to lose. You know, about 5 gigs of photos and stuff like that. OK that's done.
Now what the hell ya gonna do Billy Bob??? Hell, I don't know....what do ya suggest? It ain't work'n right so I suppose I'll restore it back to day one and start all over.

Oh, I fount a Toshiba 17" laptop at Walmart for around $800 and some change.....think it was something like $79 in change. Let me see if I can remember....hell no......!!!! Anyhows....it's brand spank'n new and I bet ya a buck the fan don't make no noise.

Then....I plugged my Verizon air card in a USB port on the other side of my laptop. There went my signal. What the hell is with that? Then I plugged it back in the other side and there's my signal. HUH???

Ok I ain't done yet. Went by a battery sell'n place and had the battery in "that jeep" checked. Got the print out right here in my pocket. Now where the hell did it go??? Anyhows, it siad the battery was good but need a charge. Well shoot, that what I been try'n to do but it don't charge. I was think'n I replaced that battery, but then I figgered out I didn't 'cause of the size of it.....it's different from what I always buy. So, at Walmart I fount one exactly what the book says to put in it.....yep different size than what I usually buy.

Bought me up some chili mak'ns. Gonna brew me up a big ol' pot tomorrow....like a couple three gallons. Yum Yum Yum!!!!

Computer nightmares

Don't even ask.

Hot damn....what a beautiful morning. Is it summer again already? I think the storm has passed....at least I'm hoping it has. Guess I'll be outside sit'n on "da porch" sip'n a cup and think'n after while. You know what I'm gonna be think'n bout ....right? Yep, these damn computers.

Ya see, it's like this...yesterday I hook up that old laptop. Soon as I install the Verizon and Yahoo Messenger set up programs, all hell broke loose. First thing happen, I got a "blue screen of death". Everyone know what that is. That mean something is terribly wrong. So I says, hell I'll fix that. Did a system restore what didn't fix nuttin.  Back on the HP now.

Ok, who the hell stole my Texas flag? What a crock. Here I have my flags fly'n in the breeze and I get up the next morning and my Texas flag is gone....pooooof, just like that. Either California don't like Texas or there's another Texan camped at the slabs.

Today is the day we go up to the American Legion for breakfast. Had I got up in time, I could have gone also. But no, old Billy Bob was dream'n under all them blankets while everyone else was get'n ready to go. Maybe I'll just fry me up a slab of balony and some eggs. Sounds good to me.

Computer cursed

Holy crap Billy Bob.....now ya went an done it.

Ya see it's like this....my piece of crap HP laptop is bit'n da dust. That little fan is maki'n all kind of weird noises and won't quit do'n it. Then....when I boot up the laptop, the damn thing is missing a file. Then Yahoo messenger don't work no more. I don't know how to take it apart and I don't have any canned air to blow it out. Old Billy Bob is stuck between a rock and a hard place. So, I broke out the spare laptop and here I are. 

Internet connection still sucks even with an antenna stuck out the winder. But I did notice the weather may be the problem. Ya see, we had a freak'n cold front come through here. It's all hazy about where I think the "tower" is at, but really I have no freak'n idea where it's at. The other day, before the storm, I had a good signal. But now it sucks.

Holy crap it was cold this morning. Somewhere's in the 30's outside.....and not much over that inside. Ya see, I don't run a heater at night. No sense in wast'n a bunch of propane when I'm gonna be wrapped up in a pile of covers all night long. I stayed under them covers till I could'n take it no more. Got up and pee'd, turned on Mr Heater full blast and made me a pot of coffee. 

About the Thanksgiving dinner. All the foods were wonderful, probably better than last year. But, sit'n outside eat'n up a big plate of food in the cold with the wind blow'n didn't cut it. It were bout 58 degs and 15 mile a hour winds. So after I finish my plate, I head to "da house" where it was warm. That's when Sadie Mae got lost. Ya see, she was sit'n under my chair protect'n me from all the big dogs run'n round. Apparently she was chas'n some big dog down the street when I left. When she come back, I was gone. I call her a couple times, but no Sadie. Finally here she come. Tail a wag'n and eyes a glow....she fount her daddy. 

Think'n come Monday I'm gonna go off to town and do some shop'n. You know....Walmart. Gotta get me some them zip drive thingys to copy all my files to off that piece of crap HP computer. Then I'm gonna restore it to day one and start all over. In the mean time, I'm gonna fire up my big ol' air compressor and blow that thing out goooood. If the fan still screams....don't know what I gonna do. Buy a new one????

Internet connection sucks

Holy crap Billy Bob, why did you move to a different campsite?

Ya see' it's like this......my internet connection don't work worth a crap over here. Yesterday it didn't work at all. Well, to make a long story short, I found out that my antenna has the wrong adapter on it and it don't fit my air card. Well that's a simple cure....just go to the Verizon Store and buy the correct adapter.....RIGHT. The freak'n store is closed. So....it looks like a couple more days of sporadic to none internet service.

Yesterday kind of sucked. What do ya do at the slabs? Not much. If I had a remote control helicopter I guess I could go outside and fly it. Yesterday was a cloudy day so all I did was sit inside and catch up on a few "wimmin" chores. Read me a book...the whole thing. Went out and hooked up my battery charger. Went over to the neighbors house and retrieved that old ugly cat that the dog hauled off. I wonder if he thought it was a real cat.

Speak'n of batteries....mine ain't get'n fully charged...or something like that. Ya see, I let the water get too low in them a while back and now I'm think'n I may have "murdered" them. So today I'm gonna check stuff. You know....clean off the solar panels, clean all the battery connections, check the water again, break out the volt meter....all that good stuff.

Brewed me up a big pot of chicken soup yesterday. Boy howdy, I gonna be eat'n on that pot for a week. Oh, and before I forget it, I decided to drink me some water. Drank it right on down. Holy crap, what the hell??? My water tastes like bleach. Oh yeah.....I forgot to flush my tank when I sanitized it.....so naturally, there was too much bleach left in the system. Now what I gonna do with all that bleach water?

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Fount me a adapter for the antenna.....had a drive almost a hunert mile to get it. And the damn thing don't work worth a crap. Gonna have to do something else. Anybody got some duct tape and a long pole??? 

Changed campsites...

Boy howdy, did that old lady give me them "dagger" looks or what?

Ya see, it were like this. I picked out a campsite on the spur of the moment yesterday before taking the time to look around. It was close to two other campsites....tooo close. When I crank up my generator this morning, the that old lady, not more than 50 feets from me opened her door and give me a "go to hell" look. Like "what the hell you do'n run'n a generator this time a morn'n for"? My God, I were only mak'n a pot of coffee....sheesh!!!

After I been up a while, I took a walk. Just across the road was this really nice look'n campsite. Yup, it all mine now. Ain't got no neighbors close by and no one look'n in my winders to see what I do'n.

Now all I got to do is make it look like a "hi class" redneck homestead. Gotta go find me some junk for the yard.

Well shoot. I done went and moved and now my Verizon connection sucks. What the hell??? Got an antenna on it but don't think it's do'n what it were designed to do. Oh well, I got plenty time to mess with it later.
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Ok now we talk'n business. I got to look'n at that antenna thingy and it has the wrong adapter to fit the air card. My God, don't nobody "no nuttin" when they sell stuff to old Billy Bob. I thought about duct tap'n it to a pole, but that would be tacky.
Boy howdy, I been busy this afternoon. I gots me a yard and some my stuff set out. Look'n good Billy Bob.

 Now what ya think bout that????

Slabs bound...day two

What a beautiful day for going on a picnic.

Got up this morning bright and early. Holy cows, it were only 50 degs at 6:30am....sun just com'n up. The reason I was up this early was cause I were expect'n to beat the winds go'n down the interstate. Every thing look'n good so far.

Now let me tell ya....have ya ever been somewhere and think you was somewheres else? Well, I was sit'n on da couch last night read'n a book....yeah I read books. Old cowboy western books. Relive the past. Anyhows, every time one them big trucks pull in I says "what the hell ??". I were think'n I was back in Deming and big trucks was driv'n throught the r/v park.


Well it's time to hit the road again and see if'n I can make the slabs before it gets dark. Ain't got but 280 miles to go. See ya down the road.
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Well shoot, I must be in California. All the guys are wear'n silly frilly look'n clothes and the wimmins are slim and trim, curvey and some good look'n.  I got here an hour ago, but the time  to get here was backed up an hour.....so's I made the  200 miles in three hours. I must have been go'n a hunert mile a hour to get here that fast.

I'm only bout 65 mile from the slabs, so I think I'm gonna take me a little nap.

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Ok, just like that, I'm at the slabs.  Winds picked up so bad this afternoon I thought I were gonna turn over. I'm guess'n they blow'n bout 30 mile a hour.

Holy crap, where I gonna park? Took care of that real quick like. Now if the guy next door don't get all twisted up in his underdrawers, I'll be just fine right here. Only bout 100 feet from the campfire ring.

YUP!!! On the road again

Boy howdy, got up this morning and my water hose weren't froze. In fact, it was over 30 degs and "da house" was warm. Mostly cause I left both heaters on last night....now I gotta pay extra for electric. Dear God I waste a lot of money.

While coffee was brew'n, I poooshed them buttons to bring the slides in. Both worked so we ahead of the game.
Then while I was readn't the news and talk'n to old Uncle Ben, I checked the weather forecast go'n west. My God, what the hell....winds from the west at bout 15 to 18 mph. That's really gonna help my gas mileage...huh? By 8:30 I was ready to roll....disconnect the electric and sewer and hook up "that jeep" to the back end "da house". GRRRRRRRR....damned jeep has a dead battery. Thought I fixed that last week. Apparently not. Charge it up just enough to start and hooked up. We on a roll now. Said my good byes to Wayne and a couple neighbors and headed to I-10 go'n west.

Bout 40 mile down the road....here come the wind. For the next 230 miles. After fueling up I figger I got right at 8mpg....what sucks. Since there's still bout 4 hours sunlight in Arizona, I may go on for another hunert mile or so. I ain't tired after 6 hours behind the wheel fight'n to keep this big sucker on the road and in my own lane. But, I have a great camp'n spot at the truck stop where Sadie Mae can go out and pee and poop if'n she wants to. This is the same spot I camped last year when Lug Nut broke loose and was everywhere. Took me an hour to find the little bastard. He was over help'n a mechanic work on a truck.

Nothing exciting happed on the trip so far, unless ya want to consider Billy Bob get'n pissed off at gas stations. Ya see, it's like this. The first station I pull into had the slowest pump ya ever see. Ten minutes to pump 4.7 gallons. Now where the hell am I gonna go on 4 gallon of gas? Went on down the road to another, and crap, no card readers. And ya know old Billy Bob ain't about to walk all the way inside just to give them a hunert dollar bill....nope ain't gonna do it. The next station....across the street where I always get gas was no problem at all.....so why the hell did ya go to the other one in the first place.

Shot through Tucson just like it weren't there. Never slow down for nuttin. When I went by the ostrich farm I were cran'n 62 mile a hour. Too late to stop now.  Hell, I never stop nohows, so what the deal?
Have ya ever notice when ya by yourself, ya never stop to look at stuff....unless it's macho man stuff. You know, like wild buffalo or a gun shop.

I have no freak'n idea what time it is. Back in Deming it's 3:25, but what time is it in Arizona.....no daylight savings time ya know. And what freak'n time does it get dark? I just stare up at the sun to see where it were....now I can't see. But it looks like a couple hours left before it gets "scary" dark. Billy Bob don't drive at night. Almost smashed into a deed do'n that one time. Scared hell plumb out me.

Ok, I think that's bout it. Gonna lay down on the couch, open a good book and go to sleep.

Postponement

Yep that what I did.....postponed my trip to Ca. for another day.

Since yesterday was a golf ball swak'n day, that's what me and pesky neighbor Wayne did. And you know by now that every time Billy Bob swaks golf balls, he hurts the next day. After toss'n and turn'n all night long I were too tired this morning to perform the last details of "get'n on the road". My God, didn't know there were so many things left to do.

Got myself another computer problem. Ya see, it's like this. When I go to wake up my computer every morning, there are times I get "blue screen". Google it if ya don't know what it is. Anyhows, a couple days ago, I got blue screen. Instead of letting the computer do what it does (collecting information), I pushed the off button....that's the one ya push when ya turn on. Then I did a normal boot up. Oh no, a file is missing, but it still booted up (10 minutes). Then I said, look for the missing file online. There ain't one and I can't access my "boot" drive on the computer. Then Ben told me to push f8.....lolololol....hahahaha....that don't do nuttin.  So I pushed f2.....holy crap, what this stuff? Then I tried another f.....holy crap, what this stuff? All I want to do is start up in "safe mode". Any ideas???

Now I got to grab me something to eat.....a couple cold hot dogs sound pretty good.

More on "GOLD"

Holy Crap Billy Bob, what ya do'n?

When I first went to California there weren't no super hiways like there are today. We went there on Route 66. You know what I'm talk'n bout, a little two lane road what went from like Chicago, or something like that, all the ways to Los Angeles, Ca. That where we were go'n, my Grandpa, uncle and me. We was driv'n a brand spank'n new Nash Ambassador "Upside Down Bathtub" 4 door sedan. What look something like this one.

Gotta tell ya, it were a hell of a ride. It were an adventure for old Billy Bob. We drove through hills, the plains, deserts, over mountains, miles and miles of old wooden oil derricks, little bitty hick towns, big cities and see all kind of old steam and brand spank'n new diesel locomotives trudging along go'n to nowhere.

Stories were told by gramps and uncle of the "old" days. When people crossed the US in covered wagons, cowboys and Indians roamed the deserts. The stories of gold prospectors with their little burros laden with shovels, picks and gold pans. The prospect of striking it rich. I started dream'n...I wanted to do that....and for years that dream never died and still lives today.

Speak'n of dreams, many years ago I were sit'n in the cockpit of my boat, sip'n a cup and think'n. Think'n bout dreams. That's what keeps ya alive if'n ya didn't know it. I thought, "if you let a dream die, you die inside". That what I still think today. Think about it!!!

A few year later, we moved to the desert. You know, where wild animals roam at night look'n for somebody to scare the hell out of. There was lots of coyotes sing'n their tunes, mountain lions on the prowl, snakes slither'n round, big ol' nasty look'n spiders and bugs like ya ain't never see before. Today, most them critters are gone and long forgotten. But not forgotten in the heart of Billy Bob.

When I were a teenager, I was the "wild one". Did things no normal child would do. I went prospecting. Go'n inside them caves and tunnels that the prospectors of years past had dug look'n for gold. How the hell they dig all them holes with nothing but a shovel, pick and a ton of dynamite? I had an old 1927 Buick Roadster what was my prospect'n "burro". Only costed $12 in two easy payments.

It would go anywhere a jeep would go....or so I thought. The old wooden wheels would squeak and rumble when the got loose. But it would go. Many memories surround this old car climbing the mountains in search of anything that might look something like gold.

There were an old prospector what lived up there in the mountains. He was a mean old cuss what didn't like visitors. And he had a gun. It just so happens that the road runs right through his front yard and I was on that road. When I topped the hill all I could see was sky...steep hill...and when I leveled out I was staring this mean old cuss of a prospector in the eye. He was dressed in the usual garb of a freak'n hermit. Long beard, overalls and a big ol' "holy" hat. I just stared at him.....what the hell....is this guy gonna shoot me? He made it very clear that I was trespass'n and he don't cotton to trespassers. We had coffee, what I couldn't stand at the time, shot the breeze and then he sent me back down the hill. Stories go that he was in a few wars with trespassers and the local cops on more than one occasion.

But he weren't the only prospector I ran across in them mountains. They spent their later days living in a dream of strik'n it rich.

That's it for this posting........got things to do ya know.

Dig'n dirt

I remember one time....I was out in California prospect'n for gold. I was driv'n my "little red BronkoII", had my homemade "gold machine" in the back, some gold pans and bout 5 gallon of water.

But first let me tell ya a little bit bout gold prospecting. There's an old say'n...."gold is where it was found before". Well, that's true and it gonna be no where else. Ya see, back a hunert seventy year ago, gold was discovered in California, what brung on a "gold rush" like what ain't nobody ever see. Prospectors come from everywhere....China, England, Austrailia, Alaska and Mexico. Just to name a few. The hills, mountains and valleys was covered with fortune seekers look'n for their pot of gold. Ton upon tons of this precious metal was dig up until it was thought it was all gone. So they left. But, little did they know, they only recovered bout 80% of the gold. The rest is still out there yet to be recovered.

Now.....what is prospecting? Well shoot, prospecting is try'n to "locate" some gold before it's mined. Ya see, here's what ya gotta do. Ya go dig up some dirt, bout a couple hunert pounds, run it through a gold machine,

then pan out and count the colors (little pieces of gold). 

If'n ya got enough colors to show some kind of profit for your labors, ya dig more dirt. Bout 250 shovels full is equal to a ton of dirt and a ton of dirt might bring ya $10 or $20 worth of gold. That is if you are lucky. Gold got there by following a "highway" from the "mother lode" up there somewheres. Gold goes down, never up. So ya go dig another hole, pan it out and count the colors. Doing this for days on end, your color count should increase. If not, you are on the wrong trail. In old days, the prospecors would dig holes every 50 feet or so at the bottom of a hill or mountain until they found where the golf came down.  It could take months of digging to locate a vein where the gold came from. Then the mining starts. But by todays standards, most of the veins have been located and mined out. 

Anyhows, I drove up this old trail what look like it ain't been drove on in a hunert year. I could see some mine shafts and tunnels off in the distance. I were think'n, "I'm gonna be rich". So's I started dig'n dirt....all day long. When I reached a point where I was think'n...."I'm gonna be rich", the sun was low in the sky...time to head for home. Ok, no problem, I'll come back tomorrow and "I'm gonna be rich". Now, I'm sure some of ya heard stories bout "lost" gold mines and stuff like that. Well that what happen. Next day there was no way in hell I could find my way back to that little old trail that led to "I'm gonna be rich". For weeks I looked for that trail, but it seemed to have just vanished into thin air. 

Things ya do

Read'n a book, listen to tunes, load'n up for a trip, fix'n stuff, play'n golf......ya know what I mean???

Have ya ever read a book what made ya think you was right there? I read "cowboy" and "westerns". Just finished one and boy howdy, them outlaws was shoot'n right at me too. Fell plumb off'n my horse chas'n some crazy Chinese cook. Got a bloody nose in a saloon. Felt the pain of a lost friend kilt by a renegade Indian. Yep, books sure do make ya think.

Spent most of the morning clean'n up "da porch". Tools are all back in their place. Bout a hunert pound of stuff is in the dumpster (no dumpster diving please).

Been bout three years since I fired up my tunes on my other computer. Boy howdy!!! I got tunes that go back to when I were a teenager. That make ya think too ya know. One tune played and I quickly remembered an old girlfriend. I were 19 at the time. Was driv'n my old '49 Merc down the street and I see this little "pretty". You know how it is when them girls see a pure white 1949 Mercury driven by a handsome guy with long black hair combed back in a "DA"....that's a duck tail. It were love at first sight. She died a few years ago, but that love for her never died. When I hear that tune, she's still in my heart. Just say'n.

It were freezn cold again this morning, but by 9:30 it were warm enough (57degs) for a little porch time. By 11:30, I had all my tools and stuff stowed away in their proper places......well, some of them. Still lots to do if I'm gonna get out of here before the first snow. The weather thingy says 21 degs come Monday morning. I ain't gonna like that one bit. Hope to get out of here by next Friday.

Well it looks like the cow head ain't gonna work. It went plumb off again last night before I wet to bed. Ya see, I added one more them LED light bub thingys but the solar cell ain't big enough to charge the battery to handle 3 bubs. Back to two bubs.

Tooth fix'n day

Well it's not really a tooth fix'n day, they gonna take one them high dollar Home Depot pressure wash thingys and clean my teeth. I had that done not long ago and found some miss'n marbles I were look'n for, nut an bolts and all kind of other stuff I were look'n for.

Holy crap....let me tell ya. It were some kind of cold last night. The weather thingy said 25 degs at bout 7:30. Now let me tell ya bout the weather here in Deming. If it's 25 degs downtown at the little "redneck" airport, it gonna be 20 degs here at "da house. But.....last night was just a taste of what's to come. Thursday is gonna be cold....probably in the teens....not downtown mind ya, but at "da house". I would say thursday will NOT be a day for sit'n on "da porch" sip'n a cup and think'n. But it is a golf ball swak'n day.

Break out the long johns, a heavy winter coat, some gloves and swak that ball a mile or two. Did I ever tell ya bout the time.....I decided to stay in Deming for the winter.....and froze to death. We played golf ball swak'n every Wednesday with the "old timers". Some of them in their 80's....bless their souls. I was just a "pup" of 65 at that time, so I was considered a "long ball hitter". Right over that tree and 50 yards from the green (that tree has growed a bunch in the last 4 years). Anyhows, we played in 25 degs, everybody wrap up in heavy gear. Snow all over the place. Ain't gonna do that no more. In fact, I may just move "Sally da house" to south Texas where it only snows once every hunert year. I used to live there ya know.

I was fish'n in the harbor for spotted sea trout....done had me a couple nice ones when I get this bite what almost make me spill my beer. It were a nice one, fight'n an tugg'n on my line. Just bout the time I was gonna yank him out the water, here come a GREAT BIG spotted sea trout what gobble up that other fish I were reel'n in. Now what the hell ya gonna do Billy Bob? "The net, somebody get a net." That night we grill up one great big ol' spotted sea trout on the half shell. Boy howdy!!!

Ok....I only got an hour before the dentist. Got some stuff to do. Since they gonna clean my teeth when I get there, should I brush before I go?

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Well shoot, twern't nuttin to it. Done sit my butt in the wait'n room for an hour...... I were bout to pee my pants. Then here come the nice lady what says...."William"??? That me ya know. Took some more x-rays and we was in business. Holy crap....says the doctor....lookie here. Whole bunch of stuff got to be done. How the hell I got a broke tooth I'll never know. Nobody hit me in the mouth, ain't chewed no rocks....what the hell?
Anyhows, old Billy Bob got brand spank'n new look'n teeths. What's left of them.

Here come UPS with pesky neighbor Waynes heater. LOL....first thing he do is drop it.....two times. Then he call the gas man....he gonna be warm tonight.

Oh yeah, while I think of it, battery weren't dead in "that jeep" when I went to town. Who would ever thought that a light burn'n for months would make a battery go dead? The bad thing though was that I replaced the battery over in Ga. instead of find'n that light what was on. Grrrrrrr....I hate spending money when it's not necessary.

Surround sound

Holy crap Billy Bob, now look what ya went an done.

Ya see, it's like this....I used to have this system in "Sally da house" what would blow to door wide open even when it were locked. But then one day, I smell smoke...smoke detector done went off. It were my sub woofer/amplifier what was on fire. I took that sucker an throwed it out the door. For the last two years I been us'n one them cheap Walmart specials what sounds like "junk" at it's best.

Since today is an inside day....windy and cold outside on "da porch", I decided to crank up some tunes. What the hell....that sounds terrible. Been think'n "wonder if I can use a couple my old "killer" speakers on this cheap Walmart special system. Took me out a skin'n knife and commenced to cut me some speaker wires. Yep, sure as hell can.....maybe. Ya see, my old system was like 300 watts and this cheap Walmart special is only bout 45 watts. Am I gonna have another fire??? Hot damn, this sounds good!!!

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Been feeling exceptionally well today......for a change. Ya see, it's like this, I don't know from one day to the next if I'm gonna still be alive when I wake up in the morning. Arrangements are being made to locate another cardiologist. The one I have sucks......I don't like his ass. When he told me I may never make it back to Deming from my Georgia trip, that give me the first hint he don't "no nuttin". And sides that, I think he is screw'n Medicare and my insurance company.......charges for stuff what never happen. Example: I went in for a office call to get all my prescriptions updated. Well, it costed $700....$170 for consultation (?) and $500 something for what ever. Expensive drugs HUH?

But anyhows, today was wonderful. "Sally da house" is look'n like a house again. Have ya ever go in your grandpa's bedroom an look around. Junk everywhere. Us old folks ain't got time to put stuff where it sposed to be. And all them empty spots on the dresser and stuff needs to be filled with something. And if there ain't no empty spots left, there's always the floor or just pile it up on another pile.

Member that chicken I cook in the solar oven the other day? Well it's in the pot becom'n chicken veggie noodle tater soup (no maters Ben). But....how the hell can ya over cook a chicken in a solar oven? This is the second time I done that. Won't happen again.....damn meat fall right off the bone.

Oh, did I mention that big ol' apple pie sure do taste good. I'm get'n where I like this solar oven cook'n. Everybody should have one in their back yard.  Now....I been wonder'n. What would happen if'n I put a couple three eggs in there for a while. Would they explode like they do in a microwave? Would they taste different from what they would if'n ya boiled them? What ya think?

Boy howdy.....only make it to 60 degs today and tonight gonna be COLD.......like bout 25 deg out here where "da house" lives. Don't let me forger to drip a faucet so's I don't have to use "doggie" water for coffee in the morning.

Porch time

Well, here it is almost porch time at Billy Bob's house. It's 58 degs out there after a cold night of 30 degs or less.

Yesterday was a beautiful day in Deming. Abundant sunshine and very little wind. So, you can bet a quarter that Billy Bob was at the golf course swak'n golf balls. That exactly what we did. Beat poor old pesky neighbor Wayne so bad he say he gonna sell his golf swak'n clubs. He ain't never gonna learn, ya can't beat a man at his own game. I love golf ball swak'n.

Now here what happen to Billy Bob for not think'n very good. Ya see, I went to Walmart for a loaf of bread and a gallon milk. Only costed $126. Now I have a ton of stuff to put in the freezer....and it ain't gonna fit. But that ain't what I'm talk'n bout. I bought a big ol' chicken what I gonna make a couple gallon of soup out of, freeze it and take it to the "slabs". "Well dummy, where the hell ya gonna put a couple gallon soup when ya ain't got no room for all the other stuff ya gonna put in the freezer"? Anyhows, I cooked that big ol' chicken in the solar oven and set it on the stove to cool. When I got back, I says...."now where ya gonna put it....dummy"? Took it to Wayne's house. Maybe he'll eat it and I don't have to worry bout freez'n it.

Now today, I got this great big ol' apple pie I got to cook....in the solar oven. Ya see, when I went to Walmart, I was hungry. Bought all kinds of stuff I like. The frozen pie wouldn't fit in the freezer for a later cook'n date, so now I got a pie to eat...now.

Well, "that jeep" started it's crap again. this time the battery was slap dead when I was want'n to go. What the hell? Did some check'n with my trusty voltage measure thingy and yep, it were slap dead. Put the trusty charger thingy on it and a couple hour later, start pull'n fuses to find the cause. Holy crap, that's a 40 amp fuse. More investigation....after it was almost too dark to see, I notice a light shin'n inside the car. What the hell? I never see that before. Anyhows, I push the little button and off go the light. Is it fixed? I should hope so.

Someone wanted to see my solar powered cow head night light all lit up. This is the only pic I have. But since this pic was took a week or so ago, I have made some changes. Will post another pic as soon as it is completed. Oh...it has eye ball peeper thingys on it now and have one more LED light to install.

A black horse

Does death ride a black horse or does he cruise around in a fancy SUV.

Last night was another one them nights where the brain tells me "don't go to sleep....listen to what I gonna tell ya". Well I listen to that old brain for what seem like hours and still don't know what it was say'n. Weird stuff. Like polishing hub caps on a big black SUV with some dude sit'n in the back seat in a black over coat pull up over his head. All I could see was red eyes look'n at me, a big hooked nose and white grin'n lips dangling above a pointed chin. Then up rides this black horse. With the same dude what was sit'n in the car, just look'n at me. Hmmmmm, ya don't suppose do ya?

Yesterdays golf game start off on the bad side for old Billy Bob. I were swak'n golf balls everywhere but where they supposed to go.....out in the field and stuff. I ain't never gonna break a hunert like this. But then I got down to business and turned the game around. Hit two strokes under my handicap....what ain't the best in the world. Barney would be proud of me. Maybe.

Boy howdy let me tell ya.....it were cold this morning. Not quite cold enough to freeze my water hose, but it were below freez'n.....30 degs at 7:30. Of course, right after that, here come old pesky neighbor Wayne want'n to sit on "da porch" and BS. I tell ya, that man ain't right.

Been do'n a few things to get ready to leave Deming for a wonderful winter in the south California sunshine. This gonna be my 3rd. trip to the slabs for winter, but I ain't all that excited this year. My park'n spot is done took up by some yankee from up north. Our camp ground where we usually park was took over by some hippy crowd....done put up barb wire fences and destroyed our fire ring. But there's 640 acres, so find'n a place to camp ain't no problem. You did know that it's free....right?

Swak'n golf balls

Now I gotta go swak a golf ball.......

It's ain't like I never swak'ed a golf ball before 'cause I know what I'm do'n. Ya see, many many years ago I was a golf ball swak'n feller....with a baseball bat. Could hit 'em a hunert mile. Then I bought an old set of golf ball swak'n clubs at the hock shop. Throwed them in the truck and I was a golfer. Went off to the golf course and every ball I hit, I figgered...."that was the wrong club".

Many many years later, I took up golf ball swak'n for the second time in my life. I already knowed how to hit the ball. All I had to do was learn how to hit it in the fareway. That's that fresh mowed strip of grass right straight out in front ya.

Ok....that's enough golf train'n for one day. Old Billy Bob go'n to the course and see what I learnt in all these years. No need for comments here.

Boy howdy, I gonna have to start sleep'n during the day and forget sleep'n at night. More on this later......pesky neighbor Wayne showed up with a golf club in hand. Time to go!!!

Call the fire department....

No, I ain't on fire, but........

Did I ever tell ya bout the time.....me and Jerry was fix'n this old fellers car. We was mechanics ya know. It seem like this old car ain't gonna never run no more. It had a blowed head gasket and the tining chain was slap'n time to the tune of "Jailhouse Knock" by Elvis.We done ruined a few perfectly good shirts, acquired a few cuts and bruises, cussed some pretty serious words, but we had 'er back together in a couple days. A good swak or two on a 18" cheater bar with a 5 pound sledge hammer was equal to bout a hunert pound of torque. That be good for head bolts.

We was all acited bout fir'n this sucker up and gon'n for a test drive. We hook up the battery connections and commence to crank. Nuttin happen....absolutely nuttin. "Jerry, where the hell you do with the coil wire?" Coil wire in place, we commence to crank again......HOLY CRAP.....BAM....BOOOM...stuff was explod'n. Gasoline was shoot'n 3 foots in the air. Oh Oh...sumthing ain't right bout this. What the hell??? Then the battery give up the ghost....it were dead.

Poosh it Billy Bob....what we did.....bout 30 mile a hour. Up the street bam'n and boom'n.....gasoline and flames shoot'n 3 feets in the air. Then it catched a fire. A BIG fire. People was gather'n and shout'n stuff.

By the time we got the flames to subside, we hears a fire department sireen howl'n in the distance. Me and Jerry was gonne be in trouble for sure. We push that car off the road and high tail for home like a couple jack rabbits.....we don't know nuttin bout no fire. At my aunt's house we figger we was safe. But then there was a knock at the door. Oh Oh.

Auntie open the door and there stand the sheriff and half a dozen fire department guys not look'n too happy.  She look at me and Jerry and says...."I should have known it had something to do with you two heathen boys." Quote/unquote....that what she said.

Today was a good day. Old pesky neighbor Wayne had an appointment at the VA in Las Cruces and won't be back for hours. I brakes out my "to do list" and commenced to scratch off some the easy stuff what I been put'n off for the last month. Broke out the sew machine and sew up where the wind been eat'n on my flags. Both back up on the pole. Had a put a couple gallon water in my batteries. Yup, them suckers was low....really low. That's $500 dollar worth of batteries so's I'm hoping they still be good. Check all the fluids in "da house" and "that jeep". Two quart low in "da house". Now where the hell all my oil go? Air up all the tires to 90 pounds. Hope to get one or two more years out them. Then I crank up the "little red broncoII", hook it up to an old truck frame and drug it round the walk'n path/golf cart trail. Then Wayne come home. Sat his big ass on my porch and no more work was done by Billy Bob and Company. See what I mean by "pesky neighbor".

Then I decided I had to eat sometime today. But I weren't hungry....hain't been in a month or more. I ain't been eat'n nuttin but junk stuff, no nutritional value at all....you know, like donuts, Fruit Loops, a cold hot dog, a slab of balony......junk. That be why I ain't feel so good in a while. But, tonights dinner sucked. Only ate a half bowl of pork chops, potatoes, onions, TOMATOES, fresh green beans and some Billy Bob's special seasoning. And I still ain't hungry.

Toothless

Where ya been Billy Bob???
Well shoot, I been right here "do'n nuttin".

Thursday.....yup, I was up bright and early. Got to the dentist tooth pull'n place right on time. They sit's me down in this little chair and says...."are you ready"? Well yeah I'm ready, that's why I'm here. Holy crap....there's a road runner on sit'n top my "little red" BroncoII. Anyhows, the doctor swab my gums with some pink stuff and commenced to shoot my mouth full of novicane (sp)(I knew it, even spell checker can't correct my spelling). After a few minutes the doc says....."are ya numb yet" My lower lip is all swell up and I says...."yup" or something like that. Then he takes this little probe thingy and pokes around....then he start push'n this way and that way....I'm say'n "what the hell"? He had all kind of tools lay'n there and picks up this great big ol' needle nose pliers look'n thingys. And sticks it in my mouth. More push and pull, I hear all kind of weird noises. Then I feel him pull out a little piece of tooth. Remember I told ya he was gonna "knock" my teeth out? He says..."there it is"...the whole thing....just like that. Then he does the same thing on the other side. Nuttin to it.

Back at "da house" I was think'n golf ball swak'n. But I was starv'n to deef, belly growl'n at me....hungry and my lower lip was hang'n down on my chin. How the hell I gonna eat something with them big wads of cotton in my mouth and a lower lip what don't feel nuttin? I managed to get a bowl of soup down , mostly down on the  brand spank'n new Walmart shirt I was wear'n. There goes my golf ball swak'n game. 

Then yesterday I did nothing....nothing at all. Weren't no pain, no swelling and all is back to normal. Drink'n up coffee and smok'n little cigars....what the doc said I couldn't have for a couple days. Here's what I'm think'n, the coffee washed out all the poisons from them cigars and deadened any chance of pain and swelling. I could be right ya know. 

Skeered to death.....

Boy howdy, when ya don't feel good ya ain't feel'n good.

Ya see, it's like this....Old Billy Bob has lots to think about and a gazillion things on my mind....all at one time. Like will I still be alive tomorrow with all these aches and pains. I rekon I'm a mite stressed over my dental surgery tomorrow morn'n and that makes my back and right leg to hurt. Not that my back ever quit hurt'n, but it been worse the last week. In case some ya don't knows, that what the old timers call lumbago, better knowed as sciatica. Ya see, there a big ol'e nerve what come out your spine and go all the way down to the tip of your toes. When that big ol' nerve get squished or in a bind, it tells your brain that your toe hurts, but really it don't. That when your brain says...."lay your ass down, you're gonna die". What I usually do. Yeah, my brain says silly stuff like that.

After a week on antibiotics to kill a bunch of little infection thingys under my gums and run'n round my mouth, the doc says..."see ya thursday morning and we gonna knock them teeth slap out". Knock 'em out??? What the hell??? That what he says he gonna do. Ya see, I let them go too long and they got to be busted in little pieces and pull out with needle nose pliers. Kind of like swak'n a pecan with a big ol' hammer and pick'n out the goodies with a nail. My God, that scare the shit slap out me. And to top it all off, I gonna be wide awake, sit'n there listen'n to all that slam'n and bang'n, drill'n and stuff go'n on in my mouth. You do realize that tomorrow is golf swak'n day, right? If the bleed'n stops by 2pm, you can find me on the golf course. Otherwise, look for me on the couch in "da house".

Only three weeks to lift off. Wayne was tell me that Thanksgiving is on the 25th this year. I were think'n I had plenty time to get ready, but now I don't. 

Sure ain't gonna want to miss a meal and crowd like this. That Billy Bob in the middle fix'n up a plate.

The solar powered cow head has eyes. Will attempt to get a shot of it tonight when them eyes light up.

Gumbo day

 Well, I were sit'n out there on "da porch" sip'n a cup and do'n some think'n. Think'n bout what I gonna do for the rest of the day. Well hell, why not defrost that chicken ya cooked in the solar oven and brew up some gumbo? That what I gonna do.

Two nights in a row it was freez'n cold here in the desert. Not in the daytime, but at night when my covers fall off the bed and leave me wonder'n why I'm cold. Ya see, I turn the heat down to bout 55 degs at night, what if'n ya ain't covered up with some blankets, ya gonna get cold. It's a beautiful day with an abundance of sunshine....and a steady breeze of bout 10 mile a hour. Would be a perfect day for golf ball swak'n, but old Billy Bob is still sore for thursday's swak'n golf balls. I'm think'n it's time to get out of Dodge (Deming).

Speak'n of Dodge, did I ever tell ya bout my old 1936 Dodge 4 door sedan.....or what ever. Remenber Cheech and Chong...the cop asked "where's your license"? "It's on the back man". Well, I was driv'n round out in the desert run'n over bushes, cactus and stuff. When I got back to the "hang-out" where all the "older" teens hung out till midnight, one them City cops come up to me and ask..."where's your license"? I says...."it's on the back man", but it weren't....it were gone. The whole trunk lid was gone, broke slap off and lay'n out there in the desert somewhere....along with the license plate. Have ya ever tried to find a trunk lid in the middle of the desert? Took 2 days to find that damn thing.

Ok....I got gumbo to make....see ya laters.

What a ride

And then there was the time........

But first we gotta go back to the time grandpa was tak'n care of me. It were the summer of 1951 and Billy was "dumped" off at grandpa's house. Not really a house, but his old closed down grocery store. We had 3 rooms and a bath, shotgun style. Gramps was 67 year old and Billy was 10 year old. What a combination. He was ail'n at that time and Billy was just get'n into "adventures".

In the basement of this old grocery store was all kind of adventurous stuff to play with. Over there in the corner sat this bicycle what must'a come cross the ocean on the Santa Maria or something like that. It didn't have brakes like most modern day bicycles of that day and age had. Weren't no air in the tires, but I knowed someone what had a pump. Down the street went Billy push'n this old brakeless bicycle what was also too big for him to ride.

After the tires was aired up, I clumb up on that seat and away I did go. Rid'n up and down the street like I knowed something bout rid'n a bike. After bout a week of minor crashes and a few scratches, I were a professional bicycle rider on a bicycle what had no brakes. I were ready for some adventure. Put my cowboy duds on and rode off into the sunset,,,bout a hunert mile a hour down the hill, down the sidewalk and round the corner. Holy crap, I were go'n too fast and I ain't got no brakes. Off in the ditch and slap down into a big ol' culvert thingy I went....head first. That were the biggest goose egg I ever see my entire life....and hurt worster than a broken heart The old brakeless bicycle was a total mess. Busted the front tire and all that air leaked out with a whooosh.. Bent the front wheel in all kind of tangles up and forks was bend back against the frame. Half the handle bars was broke slap off. Gonna have to find me a different horse to ride....this one is "dead".

Got me a pan of biscuits in the solar oven, but wouldn't ya know it, here come the clouds.  Fire up the isnside over to 400 deg and put them suckers in there. Here in just a few minutes, old Billy Bob gonna be eat'n fresh baked biscuits and sausage gravy.

Ok...eat'em up time....laters.

Is this guy serious???

As most everyday followers of my blog should know by now, old Billy Bob don't get serious.

Yesterday night, I said I would tell ya bout tachycardia and Billy Bob. Well, ya see, it's like this....back in 1995 I was work'n on a ladder and I says..."why don't you feel good"? At that time, all I knew to do was sit down and say...."I don't feel good"? A EMS volunteer come to my rescue and took my pulse. It was too fast to count, so's he took me to the EMS place where they had an ambulance with my name on it....off to the hospital we went. And kind of weird gadgets hook up to me. A heart specialist was there to greet me at the door. More gadgets connected. But....by the time they turn on them gadgets, my heart rate was down to 100 beats per minute. A miracle. Doc told me all bout tachycardia and his rendition of the causes. He told me how to "attempt" to stop the rapid heart rate, by tossing cold water in my face, simulating a bowl movement (gotta be careful here) and coughing.  He says there is a receptor, or something like that, what causes a short circuit doubling your heart rate. Mine has always been double of what it is normally. ie, 80x2=160 like last night.

Now what initiates a tachycardia attack in old Billy Bob. Sometimes nothing. Other times when I gets highly perturbed (pissed off) about something. Over eating is another cause instituted by another health issue we ain't going into. Ain't it fun get'n old and hav'n health issues? Yesterday, I got a little pissed at a neighbor and then I ate me up two great big chicken samiches for supper. That's 4 slices bread and almost a pound of chicken what I cooked in my solar oven. One more thing about tachycardia. It's not good for ya. Ya see it's like this....when your heart beats too fast, the valves in your heart float and your blood pressure will try to equalize. When that happens, you have very little blood flow and oxygen to your main computing system....the brain. You gonna die. I take medication for tachycardia and last night was the first attack in over 2 years.

OK....now you know the rest of the story.

Todays golf ball swak'n day a great time for Billy Bob, but not so good for old pesky neighbor Wayne. Seems he just don't care where he hits his balls....in the water, in the desert or in the other fareways. Shoot, anybody can do that.

It was a cloudy day yesterday, but I fired up the solar oven anyhows. Put me a big ol' 5 pound chicken in there to cook up for a pot of authentic Cajun jumbo....taught me by Larry from Lake Ponchartrain many year ago. I figger it would take bout 5 hours to cook, but right on 4 hours, it was done through to the bone. My God, that would make a great pot of chicken noodle vegetable soup with taters and tomatoes and some fresh baked homemade bread. But I chop it all up...minus the two chicken samiches I ate for supper, put it in a baggie and froze it. Now where the hell I gonna find okra in Deming, New Mexico? Peppers yeah, but okra no. I'll send Wayne look'n for some since I don't like that other grocery store. It's not really that I don't like it, but Jesus, you would think it were a UNION grocery store.

Thought this was it...tachycardia

I was just sit'n here, mind'n my own business ya know and I says...."why am I not feel'n right"??? So's I grab up my trusty blood pressure check'n thingy and now I know why I'm not feel'n right. It a dreaded tachycardia attack. HUH???? I take meds for that....I ain't supposed to have them anymore.
For the record: 7:35pm  Blood pressure 153/95....160bpm
                        7:45 98/62...153
                        7:55 120/65.....150
                         8:05 120/68....160
And then I coughed, just like ya supposed to do.....122/65....98 and falling
Now I are ok again. Tomorrow I'll explain tachycardia and Billy Bob. That is if I get back from golf ball swak'n in time.

Tooth fairy

Ya remember them teeth I was tell'n ya bout???

Ya see, it's like this. Six months ago I says...."Billy Bob, ya got to go get your teeth fixed". Well, yesterday I went to the dentist. The one that cut my gums and cut a hole in the back of my mouth with that x-ray thingy he jamed in there.......what got infected and caused "lock jaw" for a week. But anyhows, I went back 'cause the only other choice is a dental place with no parking space. Well, if'n I could stand the pain for another 2 weeks I can have a consultation with the doctor. I don't want a freak'n consultation, I want these teeth OUT.,,,right now.

So, I went up the street to the other teeth fix'n place...after hav'n to walk for a half a block. "Come back at 3pm and the doctor will see you". HUH??? 3pm? The same day? Boy howdy, can hardly wait for 3pm. Well, I showed up early so I wouldn't have to wait as long as if I got there on time. By 3:45pm I was sit'n in one them little leather recliners with a bright light staring me in the face.....knives, hammers and stuff lay'n round.

So here I am sit'n there expect'n to get these two teeth pull slap out my mouth. Well, that ain't what happen. Ya see, it's like this.....I'm gonna bleed to death. I take a couple medications what thins my blood down to the consistency of  "cheap wine". Wonderful doctor puts me on antibiotics for a week and takes me off my drugs for another 4 days. BUT, before he can take me off my blood thin'n drugs, he has to get permission from my other doctor....you know, the one what says I gonna die anyhows. So, if all goes well, in bout 10 days I gonna be a new man....less 2 teeth.

To answer a comment.....when Billy Bob tells a story, you can take it to the bank as gospel truth. I might stretch a few details to add a bit of humor, but all my stories are real true to life experiences. I got lots more, but some are so far back in my brain I gonna have to have brain surgery to recall them. Others just pop up out of nowhere. That's the ones you read here. I can feel one pop'n up right now....are ya ready?