Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Tooth fairy

Ya remember them teeth I was tell'n ya bout???

Ya see, it's like this. Six months ago I says...."Billy Bob, ya got to go get your teeth fixed". Well, yesterday I went to the dentist. The one that cut my gums and cut a hole in the back of my mouth with that x-ray thingy he jamed in there.......what got infected and caused "lock jaw" for a week. But anyhows, I went back 'cause the only other choice is a dental place with no parking space. Well, if'n I could stand the pain for another 2 weeks I can have a consultation with the doctor. I don't want a freak'n consultation, I want these teeth OUT.,,,right now.

So, I went up the street to the other teeth fix'n place...after hav'n to walk for a half a block. "Come back at 3pm and the doctor will see you". HUH??? 3pm? The same day? Boy howdy, can hardly wait for 3pm. Well, I showed up early so I wouldn't have to wait as long as if I got there on time. By 3:45pm I was sit'n in one them little leather recliners with a bright light staring me in the face.....knives, hammers and stuff lay'n round.

So here I am sit'n there expect'n to get these two teeth pull slap out my mouth. Well, that ain't what happen. Ya see, it's like this.....I'm gonna bleed to death. I take a couple medications what thins my blood down to the consistency of  "cheap wine". Wonderful doctor puts me on antibiotics for a week and takes me off my drugs for another 4 days. BUT, before he can take me off my blood thin'n drugs, he has to get permission from my other doctor....you know, the one what says I gonna die anyhows. So, if all goes well, in bout 10 days I gonna be a new man....less 2 teeth.

To answer a comment.....when Billy Bob tells a story, you can take it to the bank as gospel truth. I might stretch a few details to add a bit of humor, but all my stories are real true to life experiences. I got lots more, but some are so far back in my brain I gonna have to have brain surgery to recall them. Others just pop up out of nowhere. That's the ones you read here. I can feel one pop'n up right now....are ya ready?



  1. Yep, I'm ready for more. Can't get enough of your stories.

    If'n you lay face down a few nights, maybe that stuff way in the back of your head will shift some to the front. What you think?

  2. most people dont call the butt doctor for brain surgery, but in yer case.....

  3. Watch that tooth yanking doctor person. Don't let him pull your one remaining Wisdom Tooth!!! or your EYE tooth, hell ya'd be blind and dumber than a rock!! :-)

  4. I am sorry to hear about your tooth pain but at least you are on the right track now even if you still have to wait 10 days to have them pulled.

    Have you tried Oralgel or numbing the pain by soaking a cotton ball in whisky and applying to your teeth?