Friday, October 15, 2010

Remember when???

Grrrrrrr....grumble....bitch and moan and all that stuff. Too much to do.

Yep, you were right, old Billy Bob sneeked off to the golf course yesterday. You should'a seen Sadie Mae...my God, that dog is done turn'n into a "hunt'n" dog. Her was roll'n in the grass, lap'n up water out the lake and check'n every bush for an unsuspecting critter. On the greens, she would lay down.....right in front my ball....and not move. Not that it mattered, I was gonna miss anyhows. Wonderful golf ball swak'n day. By the way...yes...I had leg cramps last night.
Heee heee heee....spanked Wayne big time. So bad.... he says he ain't never gonna play golf with me again.

Well shoot, it looks like it's time to start get'n "Sally da house" ready for the trip to the "slabs". Even though I have other stuff I would rather be doing. Got the cow head to finish yet ya know. Speak'n of cow head, no I don't hand out candy. I don't do holidays and that kind of stuff. Christmas is just another day.

Speak'n of Christmas, a few years back (1991 or there abouts), I dressed up as a mummy for Halloween. All wrap up in some old tore up sheets with blood and stuff.... an one them nasty mean look'n rubber masks. You know what I'm talk'n bout. Our house was built on stilts...a beach house, way up in the air. The kiddies had to climb a flight of stairs to get to the front door, but old Billy Bob the mummy dummy were sit'n in an old raggedy chair at the bottom....not moving, just sit'n there. All the kiddies just looked at me as they passed by to the steps....think'n I weren't real....just a mummy dummy. HA....just you wait till you half way up them steps....ya little munchkins. This old mummy dummy come alive...growl'n, flap'n arms and mak'n all kind of weird noises. Them kiddies was a scream'n like their momma was done whoop'n 'em with a hickery stick. They was headed in all directions and there weren't no where to go. One little girl jump off them steps like her was on fire...right in my rose bushes. Momma's and daddys was really pissed at old Billy Bob...the neighborhood mummy dummy....sit'n in a chair.

Did I ever tell ya bout the time......I learnt to kiss. Ya see, it were like this. I was right bout 12 year old. One good look'n specimen of a pre teen hunk. Bout four feets ten inches an a hunert pounds....give or take. I were prime rib. Anyhows, there was this little girl what would chase me round the school playground...giggl'n and stuff.....every day. She were "hot". One day she cornered me, weren't no where to go. She knock me to the ground...an kiss me right on the mouth.....yuk yuk...gag...spit spit. What the hell? I think I like that. Then I starts chas'n her, just like she did me...an I corners her. She bats them little brown eyes at me an says..."Billy, kiss me". So's I knock her to the ground.... and I kiss her...right on the mouth. Just like that.

Ok, it's 8am, sun shin'n, a brisk 60 degs and I'm gonna go to "da porch", sip a hot cup and do some think'n. Lots to do at Billy Bob's place this morning, so..."it's off to work we go".


  1. Wow from a bleed'n nasty looking Mummy to a school yard Casanova, what a story line. Thanks for making my morning a little brighter, I needed that.

  2. Lol Billy Bob I really got a chuckle from your post today!!

    Thanks for answering my question, didnt figure you passed out candy but just thought I'd ask :-)

  3. BB, what kind of restaurant are you thinking about opening?

  4. I can tell ya what kind of restraint BB would have.. Short Menu, nuthing but strong coffee, and dry dogfood nuggets. With a rotating selections of left overs!!! :-)