A few days of posts...

Saturday gloomy weather

Boy howdy, what the hell is a go'n on in Del Rio? Ya see, I were sit'n there on the couch read'n a book bout the old west, outlaws, shoot'n, fist fights, git'n drunk, wimmins scream'n...stuff like that, when all a sudden like, the wind start shak'n "da house". Wind blow'n cold air in through the open winders. It's winter....that what it is. That all happen before the OFM Barney hook up his little trailer and head south, what I done tole you bout.....gone....pooof, just like that. Now the old Billy Bob is sit'n here all by hisself. Ain't got no internet. Ain't got nuttin to do.

Last night while I were sit'n there on the couch I got to think'n bout the time a stranger asked the old farmer..."ya think it's ever gonna stop rain'n"? The old farmer look that stranger right dead in the eye an' says, "it always has". The sunshine is out this morn'n, ain't no wind, temp is climb'n to comfortable (60 degs) and the fish is bit'n.....I betcha. Oops, there went the sunshine behind a big ol' cloud.

Remember I were talk'n bout chang'n my internet service? Well, I'm still think'n bout that. I been us'n a Verizon air card for over two years and the only place it don't work is in Del Rio, Texas. That where I am ya know....catch'n fish an' stuff. Anyhows, I done decided it might be best to just keep Verizon and do the best I can. We'll see.

Just 'cause my name is Billy Bob don't mean I was brung up in the backwoods of Kentucy, or somewheres like that, an' don't know nuttin. I went to skool ya know. Learnt how to read books and stuff. Got me a PHD in spell'n....an' arithmetic. So, the next time ya wanna say the old Billy Bob is wrong an' don't know nuttin, do some research first.
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Sunday beautiful weather

Well shoot, here I were think'n I was gonna freeze to death when I see the temp was down to 45 degs overnight. But low and behold, the sun comes out an' it turned into a beautiful day. So beautiful, I decided me an' Sadie Mae would take us a ride in "that jeep". My first thought was to head off to town and do some shop'n at Walmart. What we didn't do.

Ya see, I been think'n bout driv'n over to another campground, Rough Canyon, and check out the fish'n possibilities. A short drive of 14 mile brung us to the waters edge. Well, not ecactly. The water was way down a hill an' below some rock clifts bout 300 yards from where we park "that jeep". "How the hell ya gonna git down there Billy Bob"?
Cross'n a field of brush and brambles (weeds and cactus) we come to a rock cliff over look'n 50 feets of crystal clear water. There a big ol' bass in there I betcha. Being the cautious feller what I am, I took my time find'n the safest route down. There weren't none. Slip'n an' slid'n over big ol' rocks and bolders, the last 20 feet was scoot'n on my ass till I reached my destination. Two big bolders over hanged the waters edge...a straight drop off into bass haven. One jump clean out the water. Holy crap, that were a big 'un.

Choos'n my bestest fish'n lure, I begins to sling it out there where that fish jump. Bout a hunnert times an' no fish. Maybe if'n I throws something to attract his attention....like a spinner bait. Yeah, I'll try that. A couple tosses t'wards that tree stump thingy stick'n out the water....and BA BAAM. I done hook me up a big ol' two dinner bass fish. I tosses him back think'n I got me a big ol' pot of homebrew chili to eat up back at "da house". Have a good day big ol' bass fish.



Chang'n lures, I hook me up another bass fish. Not big like the first one, but he could have made a good breakfast side with some fried taters and 3 or 4 over easies. Toss him back too. He were one happy fish when he found out I weren't gonna murder him and yank his head slap off. I learn't that trick many years ago when I were out in the woods starv'n to death an' didn't have no knife.

The fish done quit chas'n my fish'n lures, so's I pack 'em up. Got me a cliff to climb. I looks at it and says...."how the hell I get down here in the first place"? I eyeballs a escape route an' on hands an' knees make my assent to the top. Over there bout a hunnert yards is where me an' OFM Barney was catch'n up bass fish last year. Can I make it that far? Just barely, I were out of breath....huff'n an' puff'n. I sits down and start get'n scared. I can't get enough air....I'm gonna die right here. That what I was think'n anyhows. I lights up a smoke, still gasp'n for air and fore I knows it, I'm suck'n in air just like I suppoed to. I'm gonna live....yee haa!
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Monday cold morn'n

Boy howdy, were it cold or what when I waked up. It were 39 degs out there.....two burner morning. By 10:30 the temp is up to 61 degs.....an' i can hear big ol' bass fish call'n my name...."hey Billy Bob, over here....hurry". Now I have a decision to make. Do I go down the road a half mile to the bridge, over to the same fish'n place I were at yesterday, or do I head off to Walmart for a few eat'em ups I'm out of? Sadie Mae is all excitis 'cause she knows I'm think'n. She knows something is up, an' she is ready to "go". Don't ya just hate decisions like this???

The next decision I got to make is, how long am I gonna stay in Del Rio. My rent is paid up till Wed. afternoon, but I'm hav'n fun. Catch'n me up a few fish. The weather is look'n better. Lots of sunshine an' warm days (upper 60's to lower 70's). What more can I ask for? Life is good.

 A bit later.....

Yup, the old Billy Bob went down there and stand on the bridge for a hour or more. Ain't catched a thing, But I did have a few pretty nice bumps. "Learn to set the hook Billy Bob". It were still too cold for a sissy like me to be stand'n out in the wind and cold, so me an' Sadie Mae loaded up an' went to town. Ever time I do that, I end up spend'n a hunnert dollar at Walmart. End up with "junk food". But junk food is good for ya....grow hairs on yer chest an' stuff like that.   

Another day in paradise

"What you talk'n bout Billy Bob, this ain't paradise....it's Del Rio, Texas". Well it could be paradise if'n the wind weren't blow'n an would cool down a few degrees. But as far as that goes, anywheres you feel comfortable, that's paradise. Since me and OFM Barney moved to this campground, I been a whole lot more comfortable. And I can see water from right here from my camp'n site.....way down the hill bout half a mile or so.

Ok, here's the deal. A great blue norther blowed in last night. Got down to a disgusting 59 degrees. Wind blow'n a hunnert mile a hour....or something like that. The redneck blue tarp what was used for a sun shade and wind breaker done blowed down. Got the heat blast'n full bore.....one stove burner. "Now what ya gonna do Billy Bob"? Well, I'm gonna sit here an' "do nuttin"....that what I'm gonna do.

Did I mention all the fish I catched up yesterday? I was down there on that fish'n bridge an' I hook me up a goodern. Musta weigh somewheres close to a pound or something like that. Breakfast size. Then in the late afternoon I goes back down there and hook me up a great ol' big 'un. Bout 2 pound worth. They git'n bigger as I go.

Barney done make a decision to head his way back south. I were think'n bout do'n the same thing a couple hours ago, but the old Billy Bob is gonna stick out this storm for a few more days. Still got a couple things I want to do here before head'n south. Storms don't last forever ya know.

Ok, I need tyo get this computer back to it's rightfull owner before he forgets where he left it. Have a safe trip Barney. See ya down the road a piece.

277n bordom

Ain't got nuttin to say what would interest anybody this morn'n. That is unless you might be interested in boredom.

Ya see, old Billy Bob can be quite boring from time to time. 'Specially when he don't do nutting. But I got to think'n bout that. I don't have to do nuttin. I'm retired an' I gonna do as I damn well please....even if'n it's sit'n back sip'n up a cup an' do'n some think'n. I enjoy my life. I enjoy be'n free. I especially like "do'n nuttin" whenever the mood strikes me. As of late, that mood strikes me a lot.

Yesterday afternoon I throwed my old dawg Sadie Mae in "that jeep" an' we headed off down the road a piece to go catches us up some fish. I chunk that lure out there bout a hunnert times an' ain't got a bite yet. What the hell?, I see fish jump'n all over the place....bout 2 of 'em. The OFM Barney ain't did no better. But, I'm figger'n we left too early for the big'uns to come in to eat.

Went down town to the internet sell'n places yesterday, Sprint, an' AT&T. Gonne get me a brand spank'n new air card. Or so I was think'n. Nice lady at Sprint made me a pretty good deal, but couldn't answer all my questions of coverage areas. Almost same thing happen when I go to AT&T. I'm think'n all they care bout is sell'n me a telephone....what I already got one. So I'm on Barney's computer do'n some researce. He has a Sprint air card and it works super good in Del Rio. But....will it work in the other places I have on my travel agenda???

The other night I throwed a old over ripe bananna out there in the yard think'n some critter would come by an' eat it up. Well, that diodn't happen. But Sadie Mae fount it, sniffed it and then began roll'n in that bananna. Oh my god....look at you Sadie Mae, you got over ripe bananna all over you. Sure were glad she didn't find a old dead critter to roll in.

Poor old Barney is fit to be tied. With his truck in the shop get'n a brand spank'n new alternator, he been walk'n round the campground look'n for something excit'n to do.

Ok.....got thing's to do. Laters.  

Change campgrounds....

I feel really privileged this morn'n with all the cool air blow'n in "da house" and I got a computer to make a post. It ain't my computer, but the OFM Barney brung his over for me to use while he is off to town get'n "the truck" fixed. Seems the alternator done bit the dust...or something like that. More news on that later.

Anthows, yesterday, me and Barney done figger out we was gonna pull out of here to a new campground bout a hunnert twenty mile to the north. South Llano State park at Junction, Texas on Interstate 10. We run into town to grab us up a hamburger, then decide to drop by a couple campgrounds just to take look see before we make any drastic decisions. Well shoot, the 277 campground look'n pretty good. Got a big ol' road, what used to be under water, for bike riding and fish'n off the bridge, what used to be under water and bout a hunnert places to launch a "bubba boat".....what used to be under water. Why don't we move out here? And that what we did.....pooof, just like that.

Now I have one more really important decision to make. What am I gonna do bout a internet connection in Del Rio. Since I visit this area maybe twicst a year, I need something that will work here. Verizon don't. Sprint do. It may seem like a simple decision, but it ain't. There are places I visit where Verizon do and Sprint don't. ....why don't MsB have a Sprint air card?

Barney just rolled back into the campground from go'n the the alternator fix'n place. Appointment for tomorrow morn'n at 8am. Probly gonna cost him a good arm an' a leg, but that's the way the tree falls. Auto repair shops see ya com'n a mile away. Boy howdy, I hope they don't see me com'n any time soon.

Got the "bubba boat" battery all charge up full of energy for a jaunt around the lake.....gonna go catch me up some them big ol' bass fishes. Maybe even catch up something that I can eat. I'm a good fish cooker ya know.

Ok, got things to do.   

Me an' OFM Barney camp'n.

I'll not bore ya this morn'n with all the activity what's been go'n on in my adventurous life. I'll just tell ya like it is....I ain't done nuttin what could be considered excit'n.

The decision to visit Del Rio and Lake Amistad was made long before I arrived here. I like it here and it's on my way to where ever I'm go'n. But.....did I make another bad decision? Well, kind of. Ya already know there ain't no water in the lake. There ain't no easy place to launch the "bubba boat". So I rekon I made a bad decision. But wait a minute. There's other options.
Ya see, I were sit'n out there under my tree, sip'n up a cup ya know, an' do'n a little think'n. Here come old OFM Barney mumbl'n something bout "up the road a piece". Maybe we will just do that....go up the road a piece.

I case you didn't know, Barney sneeked in on me the other day. I hears this big ol' truck grind'n gears, motor rac'n, crash'n through the sage brush an' weeds, and I says to myself...."that sounds like the OFM Barney". It were. He sets up camp right across the road from "Sally da house"....so we neighbors. Barney's a good guy ya know.

Well anyhows, it's boring here at Lake Amistad. Did I mention there ain't no water. That means no fish'n. No "bubba boat". No swimm'n. No nuttin like that. I breaks out the "billy bike" and do some riding around the campground, unlike Barney what rode his bike across the lake. Serves him right if'n he has to stay in bed all day recover'n. We got the entire campground to ourselves....do anything we want.

Sit'n here with the wind blow'n a hunnert mile a hour, I'm bout ready to move on. Just up the road a piece, accord'n to Barney, is a nice little camp'n place on the south Llano river. Then, on the other side of there is Inks Lake, where I stayed a couple weeks last year. Since it's a constant level lake, I'm think'n that's the place to be if'n I want to do some "bubba" boat'n an' fish'n. Might could be a tad cooler too.

Ok, that's bout all I have to say this time. Maybe see ya up the road a piece....who knows?
No internet sucks ya know. 


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I are here...yippy ki yah

Wednesday 10-16-12 Del Rio, Texas

Boy howdy, is old Billy Bob got a new problem or what. Ya see, I fired up this laptop this morn'n to do some writ'n for my blog. What the hell???? The keypad ain't work'n like what it suppose to do. So's I hooks up a freak'n mouse.....now it work'n. I betcha a dollar I gonna be look'n for a new laptop here pretty soon....what ya yhink?

No I don't have a internet connection in Del Rio. Sucks sucks sucks. There's a RV park just down the road a piece what I can steal me some WIFI from....an' that what I'm gonna do. Not now, but later when I goes to town.

Anyhows, arrived in Del Rio right bout 3pm yesterday. Pull into San Pedro campground, put the slides out and lay back on the couch. Yee ha, I'm here....but where the water in the lake? It's gone....ain't none to be seen from my camp.

Ok, ya wanna know why there ain't no water? Ya see, when I cross the Rio Grande river back there in New mexico, the river was dry....just a little creek flow'n to the south. There weren't no torrencial rain falls this year, the monsoons, in Colorado or NM, so there ain't no water in Lake Amistad. Not where I'm camped anyhows. 

Out there where there used to be a lake is plumb dry. Grow'n up in weeds an' stuff. But the fish'n for big ol' bass is supposed to be excellent. Go figger on that one.

It were a hard decision this morn'n how long I gonna stay in Del Rio. Stay or go down the road a piece? Well, I decided to try for 5 days....rain or shine. If all fails, I can always move to another campground just up the road a piece.


Thursday 10-17-12 San Pedro campground Del Rio, Texas

Boy howdy were it ever hot or what yesterday. By mid afternoon, it was too hot to stay in "da house" and almost as bad out under the tree. 94 degs it were. Sweat beads was roll'n off'n my head down to my chin whiskers. Only the slightest of a breeze ever once in a while. Damn!!!
When ya ain't got no AC, it gets downright miserable.

Took a trip around to the other campgrounds. Me and one other old fart is all that has the nerve to camp at Lake Amistad National Recrecional Area. When I pulled into the 277 campground, there he was. Same old feller what was here last year with his homemade 5th wheel trailer. He has a boat this year, but no wheres to launch it.

Went on around to the Rough Canyon campground. Both boat ramps are open, but there weren't no boats. Well, there was one pontoon boat at the fish clean'n station. He had just come in with a load of bass....cutt'n their heads off and stuff like that. This campground is the only site I see any chance of wet'n a hook. And it don't look good neither.

Now I ain't say'n I made a terrible mistake by com'n to Del Rio in mid October, but it sure weren't the best decision I ever made. Since I ain't gonna be able to launch the "bubba boat" an' probly ain't gonna do no fish'n, I been rid'n the "billy bike" around the campground. I suppose I should go to town today. Do some shop'n an' stuff like that. 

Day two Texas bound...updated

Did ya ever wake up an' wonder where the hell you at? When I got up this morn'n, I look over to Wayne's house to see if'n he was out'a bed yet. Holy crap, his house was gone....moved out over night. Gone....poooof, just like that.

By the time I finally went to bed last night, there was a nice breeze a blow'n. Blowed all night long, shak'n "da house". Now I done told ya before, I don't like driv'n in wind. Gets me all tense an' stuff like that try'n to stay between the white lines. But today the winds will be behind me. That helps tension, stress, cuss'n and gas mileage.

"Sally da house" has been run'n perfect. I was skeered since I was hav'n trouble back in Deming and on the last leg of the Georgia trip. When ya get older, you'll understand what I'm talk'n bout. The biggest fear of a RV'er is fire. Second is that ditch over there on the right and the last is walk'n to town. Today I have no fear.

Will update as the day passes me by......laters.
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Ok, yeah boy howdy....we in Sanderson, Texas. Com'n through that canyon back there on State route 285, kept me slap on my toes all the way. There was cross winds blow'n in all directions....the old Billy Bob hold'n on tight to that steer'n wheel. Now we on highway 90 go'n east. Won't be long....Del Rio here we come.  Right bout 120 more miles.

Speak'n of Del Rio, Verizon don't work there. I got to go steal me some WIFI somewheres. So, if'n ya don't hear from me in a while, ya know why.

undecided, do I hold 'em or bet 'em...updated

So  what do ya do when you ain't ready? Ya see, yesterday I was outside pick'n up all my stuff and load'n it in "Sally da house" and "that jeep". My God, where all this stuff come from?

As I sit here this morn'n contemplating my departure, the clock continues to tick away the minutes....one at a time. There's a wind blow'n out of the east, the same direction I'm gonna go (weather thingy calls for winds throughout the afternoon). My nerves are a wreck (skak'n like a hoochi chootie girl at a disco). What ever that stuff I ate last night is unsettled in my belly (rumble rumble rumble). I'm sick (Alka Seltzer...take some Alka Seltzer), undecided an' all my mind can think of is, sit'n on "da porch, sip'n up a cup an' do'n nuttin. 

Ok, so does it really matter? Not much, other than "I said". I hate it when I say I gonna do something, make plans and preparations and then turn around an' make excuses to NOT do it. I ain't say'n I won't be pull'n out of here today, but there is that possibility ya know. Betcha a buck I ain't the only one what ever did that.

Ok, got some stuff to do. Will return shortly with my decision. Sound like some kind of judge, huh?
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Update:
Ok, I'm five minutes to departure. We were discuss'n the winds for this afternoon and the old Billy Bob says..."what the hell, git out my way....here I come Texas". 

Just check the El Paso weather....moderate winds (6 mile a hour). I can handle that.

See ya down the road a piece.
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Well I want you lookie here, the old Billy Bob is slap in Texas, exit #1. By the time I get down the road 10 mile from Deming, there weren't no wind. It done quit. If'n I hadn't took me a Alka Seltzer this morn'n, I would probly still be sit'n on "da porch" sip'n up a cup an' feel'n sorry for myself.  Boy howdy I sure am gonna miss that old porch....again. Last time I left it, I figgered by the time I come back, it would be in a heap on the ground. I musta done a purty good job when I builded it. Ain't narry a board fall off'n it, ain't move a inch in the high winds of Deming....yup, I did a good job. Took me a freak'n week though.
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Last and final update for the day.
I'm run'n out of daylight and I don't drive at night. Bout 185 miles into Texas for a total run for the day of 268 miles give or take a couple. Ain't where I wanna be, but this is close enough.

See ya tomorrow....I betcha.

Lov'n my Walmart

Typical Sunday morn'n here at Billy Bob's Place. Woke up to 39 degs outside at 5am. Now that's get'n cold in my world. Only reason I wake up that early is usuall for a bathroom run. But this morn'n, I were covered with little gooses bumps an' stuff.....covers was on the floor.

Worked my way through all the blogs this morn'n, read what news I could stand and now it's brass tacks time. Got lot's of things to do, but less than I did yesterday. And....the freak'n wind is blow'n up a storm. With a Walmart run right around the corner, half my day will be a waste. How do ya prepare for a Walmart day?

Ya see, there gonna be all kind of people at Walmart today. Some gonna still be dressed in their jammies, while other will be show'n off butt cheeks and belly buttons. Old folks run'n all over the store in them electric shop'n carts, bump'n into anything what get in their way. Mostly other shoppers. No respect!!! Oversize wimmins stand'n in the middle of the aisles jabber'n with their neighbor....ain't gonna move for nuttin. Yes, I love Walmart.

I rekon I done tole ya yesterday that this damn computer is still lock'n up and stuff like that. Well, it get'n time to load up the ol' .357 magnum an' put it out of it's misery. After 2 reboots this morn'n, it finally settled down to business of clickity click click.....we got internet.

Ain't really got much to do today to get ready for my departure. Could do it all in a couple hour if'n I was to "git with it". But you know by now how the old Billy Bob works. Should be finished by 9am tomorrow morn'n. "Maybe we should leave Tuesday Billy Bob"???? Yeah, I thought bout that.

Git'n my shoes on, brush my locks, grab a long sleeve shirt....I'm ready for the trip to town. Yee ha...we go'n to Walmart.

Computer from hell....

Well shoot......done lost a entire well thought out post.

First thing happen this morn'n was a locked up computer. What the hell??? I were think'n I done fix this sucker. When I reboot, everthing what I had neatly arranged on the desktop was all changed up. Everthing up there in one corner. Some program want'n to be installed. A little video screen pops up....where the hell that come from? Undesirable content. Another notice pops up...."do ya wanna restart now". Well hell no I don't wanna restart now....what go'n on?  

Woke up this morn'n with my head under the covers....it were cold last night. Not a uncomfortable cold, but cold enough for the old Billy Bob to be want'n warmer weather to sleep in. You know, something like bout 60 degs or somewheres around there. Wak'n up to 40 degs ain't my idea of fun and adventure. And it gonna get worse if'n I don't get out of here pretty soon. "Monday Billy Bob...let's leave Monday".

Let me tell ya bout them winds we had yesterday. It were blow'n I mean to tell ya. Something like bout 30 to 40 mile a hour. Gusts bout a hunnert mile a hour or so. Stuff was blow'n all over the place. Anything what weren't tied down is out there in the field, hang'n in the mesquite bushes...scattered all over the place out there in the desert. Kind of remind me of when I live on the boat during a hurricane....or something like that.

Ya see, when ya live on a sailboat on the Texas gulf coast, the wind is gonna blow. Not 'cause ya live on a sailboat, but just 'cause that the way it is. Storms brew up out in the Gulf of Mexico for no reason what so ever.....torment hell out ya, harass ya and make your life miserable.

 500 mph Winds

by Barnacle Bill (1997)

 Just a couple years back, we had some fierce weather right here on the southern coast of Texas.
I seen it rain 5" in less than an hour. And, you know what that can do to the 'Captains' bunk.
The winds were nothing to speak of on some of the rainy days.
    It was just another dreary day. Overcast skies. A drizzle of rain here and there. With temps in the lower 60s. All seemed well, as I finished my nightly chores and prepared myself for a quiet nights sleep.
JoJo lay next to me in the Captains bunk as all lights were put out.
I dozed off into a dream world of sailing into Montego Bay. Dozens of sailing craft were anchored
in this little harbor, lights flickering in the moonlight. All was calm.
But then, changes were made in the heavens. God upgraded from 486 to Pentium Pro.
    Then all hell broke loose.
The 'Great Norther' slammed down on this peaceful little fishing village of Port Aransas Texas like a sledgehammer.
Boats were rocking like they had never rocked before. JoJo, my faithful boat dog, began to howl.
I heard torrential rain pelting the decks above, 'Captains' bunk was taking on water fast.
    Being the calm person I am, I proceeded to open the companionway hatch to take a look see what's going on.
The winds were screaming out of the north making the the most god-alful sound you ever heard.
People were running every which way, making fast loose mooring lines and stowing loose gear.
My bimini (canopy) over the cockpit was straining against makeshift tie downs. Bellowed out like a balloon.
I thought "what the hell, I'll just jump up there, let it down and all will be fine".
    Jumping through the hatch to the slippery deck, I was met by my now blowed out bimini trying to get inside out of the rain and wind. Met me head on.
I had nothing on at the time but my old salt stained sailing cap and a lot of courage.
The rains pelted me like pellets from a shotgun.  We had one hell of a battle, that bimini an' me, of which the bimini came out on top. Beat me half to death it did.
My dock lines strained by the forces pulling against them, so I thought it best to check them real good, double up where needed.
A turn on a cleat here and a little slack there put me at ease for the present.
As I stood on deck, drenching wet, admiring my seamanship abilities, I received a grand applause, standing ovation, from onlookers not 30 feet away. Clapping and cheering me on.
Scurrying to the open hatch, the wet decks send me sliding into yet another embarrassing situation.
Arms and legs frailing, I crawled into the safety of the now water soaked galley below decks.
Now, there are only so many pots and pans on a boat, but that is another story!!!
Happy Sailing !!!



This is a true story, one of many from the wonderful world of "liv'n on a boat".

Doctor who

I had a doctor tell me one time....take this pill an' you gonna be just fine. It were a depression pill of some kind or nuther. I took that pill, after pay'n a bunch of pocket change for it (30 day supply). My blood pressure zoomed to numbers I ain't never see before. I were all dizzy an' stuff like that. Probly a reaction from all the other pills I take. Hell, I thought I were gonna die for sure.

So's I call that doctor on the phone an' tell him what go'n on. "Oh my God, don't take no more them pills". An' he hangs up the phone.....just like that. So when somebody tells me "I have the perfect remedy for ya", I tend to have my doubts. Especially when I already tried it an' it didn't work.

Waked up to a beautiful day here in the desert. Almost up to 80 degs and sun shine like ya ain't never see before. But.....the wind is started to blow. Expected 25 to 28 mile a hour with gust to 40 by the afternoon. That ain't "on the road again" weather don't ya think?

Got my Walmart list all sorted out for a trip to town. Not that I'm really excited bout go'n to town, but I'm hungry....need food. Donuts...stuff like that.

Speak'n of donuts an' stuff like that.....I goes to a doctor one time for back pain. He puts me on a strict hi calorie diet so's I could gain me some weight. Potato chips, shakes, chocolates, big ol' T-bone steaks, ice cream an' cake....stuff like that ya know. Eat 5 times a day. Boy howdy that were hard to do. I stay  on this diet for a whole month. Even supliment with hi calorie drinks. Bout 3000 calories a day. Spend bout $300 above an' beyond what I usually spend. When I step on that weigh'n scale I done gain me one whole pound, one pound I tell ya....what I lost....poooof, just like that when I goes to the bathroom. That ended that diet. It took me 30 years to get to the weight I am today and I can lose it in a month on one or two meals a day.

Remember a couple years ago? I went on a trip to the "slabs". The short time I was there, I lost 15 pounds. And boy howdy did I eat good while I were there. Now two years later, I am back to my normal weight.

Ok....here come old "pesky". See ya laters.

Back to blog'n.
Yesterday I tackled the task of "fix'n" the computer. Don't know if'n I did or not. First thing I did was to update Windows with 334 megs of  old updates what's been pil'n up for the last year. Then I updated the Nvidia video card driver. That was another 165 megs. Ran two virus scans....nothing. 
Left the computer on last night, to go to sleep on it's own like I always do. Just a test ya know. Well, everthing seems to be Ok at this point....no blue screens, no shut downs. Yee ha!!!!

  

Depression 101

Poor old Billy Bob.....what we gonna do with that boy? Is it just me, or do other folks have days like this? You know, think'n in the wrong direction, mak'n choices what don't make sense, and just plain stupit decisions. Well shoot, I do that stuff every day, git up the next day and do it all over again. Never learn a dad blamed thing.

Ok, here I go 'splain'n stuff again. For bout the umpteenth time. All them suggested vitimins, minerals, witches brews, home remedies an' all that stuff ain't gonna stop me from get'n leg cramps. I've tried them all. Ya see, I've done injured my back so many times I can't remember. The last injury was a doozie....3 squished discs an' a tore tendon ....or something like that. It never healed in 12 years. Any over exertion of my lower back (swak'n gold balls or dig'n dirt) and I pay dearly for it. Excruciating mind blow'n pain and leg cramps at night. A hip what never quits hurt'n.
"That's all I have to say bout that"....Gump.

Here's the deal for today. It's cold, gonna rain, ain't no sunshine...a very dreary day. Last night I had me one the worstest nights I have in a long time. Not leg cramps if'n that what ya think'n. "Mind" cramps. I jist ain't a happy camper no more. The excitement is slap gone. Think'n bout what I gonna do when I get to where I gonna go depresses the hell out me. Been like for quite some time ya know. It weren't like that when I was just a young pup.....go somewheres an' make a adventure out of it. One my favorite say'ns was "life without adventure is just an experience". Well, I'm experienc'n life."Somebody call 911, Billy Bob needs a pill".

Since I'm a "fix it" kind of guy, this old computer ain't gonna get the best of me. It hurts me when I cain't fix something. If'n I knowed how to take this thing apart, there would be computer pieces lay'n everwheres. It's just as easy to throw a bunch of pieces in the dumpster as it is the whole thing. The thing with Billy Bob is....ya gotta give it a try first. Ok, where the hell is my PHD on computer wizardry?

Now the weather folks is say'n it's gonna rain tomorrow as well as today. Along with some strong winds tomorrow. I ain't even close to pick'n up all my "fix it" an' project stuff what's lay'n out there on "da porch". Still got a Walmart run to make. Pick up my meds. Put stuff all that stuff I took apart back together. Nope, Billy Bob ain't even close. Although, if'n I was to GOYA, I could pull out of here this afternoon. Texas bound....yeah.

Jibberish day...

Well shoot. A few good days of hav'n a good ol' time and poooof!....it's all gone.

By the way, it got down to a chill'n 42 degs again last night. Still not cold enough to break out the Mr Heater or nuttin like that, but cold enough for a old feller like me to complain while sit'n there on the couch at 2am with leg cramps. 

Last night was a nuther one of them nights when the old Billy Bob was up an' down with leg cramps when he is suppose to be get'n beauty sleep. Ya see, I went off to the golf ball swak'n place yesterday. I hit that ball so hard I were think'n I ain't never gonna find that ball. But there it were, Lay'n up under a big ol bush. But when ya hit a ball that hard, ya gonna be pay'n for it later. Usually when you're supposed to be sleep'n. I had me some them "backards" leg cramps....toes point'n straight up in the air. What the hell kind of leg cramp is that???

Anyhows.....I usually ain't one to bring up the subject of golf on my blog, but today is a exception. Yesterdays game was right up there with the big boys. You know, the ones ya watch on TV ever weekend. Even old "pesky" was amazed at my golf ball swak'n ability...."not bad for a rookie" he would say. Com'n from grouchy old "pesky", that's a compliment.
Ok....here's the real deal. Total swaks on the front nine, 43. Total swaks on the back nine, 42. Add it up....that's a wonderful score of 85....no matter how ya look at it. 13 strokes over par...YEE HA!!! .

Bout all I got done round "da house" yesterday was to pick up the jumper cables and put 'em in "that jeep". "Rough day Billy Bob...ya better lay down an' take a quick nap fore ya fall down from exhaustion".

Oh yeah. Speak'n of departure day, have ya looked at the weather forecasts down the road a piece? Well, I did. Friday, the day I had intended to depart, the winds is gonna be blow'n a hunnert mile a hour (23 to 28) out the southwest. That would surely (not Shirley) help my gasoline consumption, but if'n ya ain't never drive a big ol' motor home in a gale force wind, ya don't know what ya miss'n. It ain't no fun. None at all.

Then on top of all that, it's still hot in Del Rio, Texas (lower 90's day time) or something like that. That where I go'n ya know. But extended forecasts are subject to change. Ask any weather forecast'n man. Anyhows, I'll be postpon'n my friday departure to a more calm day.

Well, it's com'n to bout that time to replace this computer. It's got to the point it freezes up bout 2 or 5 time a day. Won't do nuttin. Just sit there an' says...."Oh, ya want a blue screen....Ok, here ya go". Last night I shut it down think'n all I had to do this morn'n was to push the "on" button. Wrong!!! Up pops a screen what says to push F1 to continue or push F10 for set up. What the hell??? I didn't do neither. I just push the "off" button like I always do. Eventually this sucker is gonna die....an' then I gonna be shoot'n it with a .357 magnum. Like what I did to that damn ol' clock. But, before I do all that, I'll try a "day one" set up.

Edit edit edit.....

I appreciate all the comments want'n more Cactus Pete, but I'm think'n he probly died in a rodeo accident or something like that. Ya see, the old Billy Bob ain't got much education, cain't spell very well and when it come to put'n a sentence together what can be understood, he gets it all azzbackards. The time it would take to edit yesterdays post would be as long as it took to write it. Cactus Petes mother must live on, not to die on some stink'n makeshift cot in a ramshackle one room adobe house. So....if'n I decide to continue this story, I got to be think'n of some miracle for Bella to survive her burdon of the child bearing of Cactus Pete.

Then there's more to it than that what I got to be think'n bout. How much of my precious "do nuttin" time will be consumed sit'n behind a keyboard? How will I compile all my posts into one easy to read format? Do I have time? Do I really want to write a story bout Cactus Pete?

Well anyhows, I got me some edit'n to do, an' a lot of think'n. I ain't no Zane Gray or Louis L'Amour ya know. Let's just play it by ear for the time being. But don't be surprised if'n the old Billy Bob posts a edited rendition in the next few days.

Yesterday while I were sit'n out there on "da porch" sip up a cup, I make me some modifications to the "mesquite eagle" project. Made the decision of where to mount the eagle, did some grind'n and JB welded that eagle slap to that piece of mesquite. Old "pesky" bringed me a piece of old weathered wood (1 x 12) for a base. I'm think'n within a couple more days, this project will be a done deal. Then on to other things....what ever they may be. In the mean time, Im' think'n bout go'n to the golf ball swak'n place an' swak me a few.

I'm think'n friday may be my "git out of Dodge" day. But don't be writ'n that down on a big ol' rock or nuttin like that. I been knowed to change my mind from time to time ya know. I usually don't get on the road on a weekend, but what matter do it make anyhows? Gotta put all that stuff under the hood back together and one other little project to tend to before I can hook up "that jeep". Then I'm outta here.
"GOYA Billy Bob".

I did this before

A few years ago, when my memory was still intact, I began to jot things down in a Walmart special spiral notebook. A web site was initiated to write the "life and times", adventures, of Billy Bob. Much of my time was wasted in this endeavor, as I never finished it. Writing is not as easy as ya may think. Not that I consider myself any kind of a writer or nuttin like that.....but it's hard.

Yesterday I said something along the lines of....I could write a story bout "Cactus Pete", what is buried out there in my cactus garden.  Not a real grave, but an ornament...conversation piece. Cactus Pete could be anybody I care to choose. A fictional character. One that's not there nor has ever been.

The notion to write a story bout this guy is another one of old Billy Bob's whims....or what ever. The story is there. It's plain as day. So I started writing. I let my mind run wild. Cactus Pete was born.

But before we get too far.....or too excitis, I'm think'n I'll have to pass. Ya see, I spent a good portion of a beautiful day sit'n behind this keyboard, when I should have been do'n something constructive. Like get'n ready to pull out of Deming. Other things are more important in my life than writ'n some silly nonsense story bout somebody that never was.

Well anyhows, I'm including in this post the portion of what I wasted half a day of writing and editing yesterday. Well, maybe not a half a day, but enough to make me reconsider continuing.

It was a cool Septmeber day when (edit)Cactus Pete was born a full fledged native Texas cowboy. Born to Bella Dianna Belvedere, a long time resident of notorious New Orleans. In a little one room adobe shack, on the outskirts of El Paso, Texas, the roar of the Rio Grande River could be heard trickling southward to the Gulf of Mexico. Flow'n over thousands of desolate miles of flat land desert and over the enormous mountains of the Big Bend country. Bella was giving birth to her first and only precious little child she would love throughout all his rambunctious and trying years.

The sun had just risen over the horizon this 24th day of September, 18**. Bella Belvedere lay in a makeshift cot in the corner of the tiny one room adobe she called home. The sounds of dancing and laughter could be heard in the not so distant city of Juarez, Mexico. Above the sounds of the raging river and the joyous sounds from across the border, could be heard the first wild call of a new born child. "Yeee-Ha, damn, hell yeah"!!! Little Pete come into this world all bushy eyed and full of piss and vinigar. He was a perfect specimen by all accounts. Bella lay motionless for the remaining hours of the day. Little Pete screaming his lungs out, his first babbling of vulgarities.

A passing rancher, Dan "dead eye" Diago heard the screams, wimpering and vulgarties of this new born child. On entering the little one room adobe shack, rancher Diago discovered Bella on the cot.  (edit)Little Pete's mother was dead, stiff as a board. His abusive daddy was off in some saloon back in El Paso soaking up tequila and cheap beer. (edit)Little Pete had fallen to the floor. He was covered head to toe with dirt, sweat and tears after many hours of rolling around on the dirt floor. Rancher Dan tenderly picked up this helpless little boy child, sloshed him up and down in a bucket of water to clean him up a bit and wrapped him up in an old gunny sack what was hanging on the wall. This was the beginning of the life of "Cactus Pete". 

As you can see, much editing is yet to be made. Names, dates and characterizations to fit the story line. "Hmmmm, something here reminds me of Billy Bob".

Boy howdy, if'n anybody says it weren't cold last night, they weren't in Deming. Didn't snow or nuttin like that, but damn, it got down to 41 degs last night. We talk'n ya don't go outside in jammies or nuttin like that. Acord'n to the weather folks, it gonna be like this for a week, with daytime temps in the upper 70's to mid 80's. Now that's nice.

Yesterday old "pesky neighbor" Wayne talk me into jump'n on the "billy bike" an go'n all the way round the perimeter of the 10 acre RV park. I says "damn, that's a long way to ride a bike". Well I did. When I get back to "da house", my legs is all shaky an' stuff like that, I says...."damn, ain't gonna do that no more". Later that day Wayne talk me into go'n round again. Hot damn, I'm a "billy bike" rid'n fool.  A hunnert more trips round the park like that, an' old Billy Bob be a marathon bicycle rider.

If I could write a book

I were sit'n out there on "da porch" sip'n up a cup an' got to think'n bout that grave I got out there in the cactus garden (photo goes here....don't let me forget).

I could write a story bout old "Cactus Pete".

"Holy crap Billy Bob, don't ya think it's a litte chilly in here this morn'n"? I finally roll out of bed right bout 7:30 this morn'n. Damn, it's cold. I knowed we was gonna get the tail end of a cold front what come all the way down here to south New Mexico from Canada, or somewheres like that. But, I done forget to turn the electric heater on last night. You know, just to break the chill. By the time I waked up it were 52 degs outside. Fortunately my water hose didn't freeze up on me last night. Some people gonna tell ya this is good "sleep'n" weather, but I'm here to tell ya, it's down right cold.....right on the edge of freez'n.

After I done all that investigat'n an' stuff yesterday, I slept like a new born step child last night. No, it weren't cause it were "good sleep'n weather", but I had done relieved my worry wart mind of any thoughts of "the freak'n motor won't start". Then me an' Sadie Mae be stuck along side the road somewheres in a rag'n snow storm in south Texas....or something like that. 
Today, if'n the temp ever gets up over the 70 degs mark, I'm gonna got out there an' put all that stuff back together what I got lay'n all over the ground. I did find a little burnt wiring thingy problem where I burn a wire slap up a couple three year ago. I giggle that wire an' something go clickity click. Ain't supposed to do that ya know. Maybe I'll attempt to fix it first. Although, everthing seems OK like it is. Probly ain't nuttin wrong with it anyhows.

Well shoot, I rekon I better got down to some brass tacks and do something. I may or may not be back.....laters.

Speak'n of brass tacks, yesterday was a winner. Got the laundry all done up an put away, took a big ol' bag of trash to the dumpster, wash up all them dishes again, sweeped the floor, clean the bathroom....yuk job, rode the "billy bike" round the park an' sit on my ass out there on "da porch" sip'n up a cup an' do'n some think'n. "You da man Billy Bob".

Saturday boredom (updated)

Ok....here's what I'm think'n. Gonna take me a lay back day an' do nuttin. Ya see, it's a bit on the cool side out on "da porch" an' I ain't a sit on "da porch" cool side type of guy. With all the snow and wind a couple hunnert mile to the north, I'm expect'n it's gonna be cold in Deming 'fore I know it. I rekon as long as my water hose don't freeze solid, I'm good to go. It just now hit the 65 deg mark, an' climb'n, on that cheap Walmart thermometer I got hang'n outside. Gonna be another beautiful day in the desert southwest.

Speak'n of cold. Me an' first mate Vickie Lynn had left all our winter clothes back in San Antonio and we are in Big Bend State Park headed for California. It's the begin'n of winter in the mountains. I'm talk'n cold. We had a full tank of propane an' one cheap Walmart battery. That battery run that furnace for a couple hour an' it die....slap dead....no heat. I swear I froze to death that first night....an' we gonna be here for 3 nights. Goodwill, we gotta find a Goodwill. Had I knowed at the time that a regular Walmart battery is gonna die in 2 hours of run'n the furnace, I would have bought me up a blasted heater to sit on the floor what don't use no electricity. Learn'n curve for RV'n an' boondock'n.

As with any house in suburbia, RV's also have little "rodent run a round" problems. These little critters seem to get into everything, especially the freak'n oven. Why the oven? Well anyhows, I fount me some evidence of their presence a few days ago. Foot prints....(let's see how many bite on that one). I grabs me up one my special mouse critter catch'n thingys and load it up with peanut butter. Put it in the oven. Snap, pop, squeek....I done catched me up a mouse in the oven. But wait....I ain't supposed to have no little mices run'n round "Sally da house". I bought one them electronic thing a bobs what supposed to run them off. Apparently, they don't work an' I'm out another $15. Who would'a thought an electronic device made in China wouldn't work.
Just to be on the safe side for all the animal rights people, I did not beat, harass or harm this mouse in any way or fashion. He died of a heart attack when he see that wire loop thingy gonna squish his nasty disease infested little ass.

I didn't tell ya bout my golf ball swak'n exercise program the other day. The first half of the exercise program, that's 9 holes, I had me a pretty good score of 45. I'm git'n all excitis now. Well, on the 10th hole, I fall slap apart and hit a double bogie....two over par. It were all down hill from then on. Ended up with another somewhat decent round of 94 (after some spectacular shots)....what I should have struck a round of 89 or 90. I ain't never gonna learn how to play golf.

Don't know if'n I'm gonna have to cut my trip through Texas short or not. My plan was to spend a month get'n to way down south Texas where the OFM Barney is hang'n out. The coastal bend of Texas on the Gulf of Mexico. Ya see, I still ain't fount the ignition/starter problem on "Sally da house". There ain't nobody in Deming what knows anything bout motorhomes or big ol' 496 cubic inches motors, so I gonna have to wait till I get somewheres where I can get it fix. When the motor don't start, I start.....worry, worry, worry.

Maybe laundry today. I got me a basket full back there in the bedroom what is begin'n to smell something awful. Well, it ain't that bad consider'n the "old man" smell that lingers back there. I done wash everthing from sheets, pillow cases and blankets....still smell like a old man lives back there. What the hell??? No ladies, it ain't near as bad as you might be think'n. I exaggerate sometimes ya know. Actually, it smell pretty good back there....if'n you is a man.

Ok....gotta figger out what to do today. "Ride the "billy bike" Billy Bob, put the dishes up, take the trash out, do the laundry...git off your ass".
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Engine starting update:
 This is one then fandangled new computerized 'everything' type of motorhomes. I ain't worth a crap with computers. But I did make some progress. Since I have never had the engine not start up on the first turn of the key I never knew or suspected there was any kind of starting problem. So I spent what was left of the morn'n on investigat'n and analyzing what happens when ya turn the key to start. If all is ok, the computer says to "go ahead and start engine". If'n it don't start up on the first try, the computer says "wait a total of exactly 5 seconds before you try again". I did that and it works perfectly every time. So maybe there is NOT a damn thing wrong an' I been los'n sleep for nuttin. A google search for the 5 second delay produced no results, but I'm still look'n.
As far as I can figger out, this 5 second delay is built into the computer system or that big ol' box full of solenoids, relays, a hunnert fuses, a gazillion wires and a circuit board under the hood.   

Cow puppy

What the hell....I ain't got no internet connection. Writ'n this on WordPad. How I gonna make a blog post if'n I cain't get on the internet? Ya see, it's like this, I were read'n my comments this morn'n an' there was one more them "hate" comments by annonymous, what I was gonna reply to. But my internet done blow up or something like that. Ya don't rekon she hack my computer or something like that do ya? I got a feel'n this ain't gonna be the last time we hear from annonymous. Stuff like what she were say'n just upset the old Billy Bob to no end....rune my day.

It's been a couple three good days here at old Billy Bob's house. I been feel pretty good consider'n all the crap what I got work'n against me. Ain't got no new aches an' pains, so I rekon I'm good to go....what ever that means. Been rid'n that "billy bike" a few rounds in the park an' went to the golf ball swak'n place again yesterday so's I could get my daily exercise. Other than that, I ain't done diddly squat. Oh wait....dishes is done again.....yeee ha Billy Bob, you da man.

What I write on my blog don't sound nuttin like what a old man of 71 year old would be say'n, but what the hell, I'm still a young man at heart. I enjoy tell'n bout my childhood days, what I can still remember, an' all the "trouble" I got myself into. Nuttin secret on this end. The problem is, I done told all my childhood stories....probly more than onest. If'n ya don't know me by now, ya probly ain't never gonna know me. But I gonna continue to write about them memories....hateful comments or not.

Just a tid bit this morn'n bout the time I rode me a brand spank'n new cow puppy. I were probly bout 6 year old at the time, the cow puppy bout a week or so. I were all full of piss an' vinigar....gonna be a great rodeo star. That cow puppy just stand there, dare me to climb up on it's back. Ha, That cow puppy don't know who he was talk'n to. An' that's exactly what I did. I jumps slap in the middle his back an' hold on for dear life.....after I fall off on my scrawney ass a few times. Me an' that cow puppy take off across the cow pin lickity split.....a hunnert mile a hour yeah we was. While mama cow, stand'n over there talk'n to other "wimmin" cows, was give us the evil eye. I'm think'n she don't like this rodeo stuff at all, 'cause here she come. Now I git'n skeered. I'm scream'n  "moms" loud I can. I falls clean off'n that cow pupply, feet run'n before I hit the ground. I gotta git outta here...right now. I lands in some that ol' gooshy stuff what cows drop all over the yard. Gooshy stuff all over me. Make my feet all slippery, no traction for run'n an' here come that mama cow snort'n buggers an' stuff. Yikes, she one pissed off cow. By the time I gets to the fence, that cow is all set to stick one them big ol' horns in my behunst (buttocks) side. Under that fence wire I goes, like a hunnert mile a hour. That mama cow didn't git me with her horn, but the "bob" wire sure did. Moms applies her favorite remedy for any bleed'n injury, alocohol an' iodine, you know, that red stuff what burns like hell. I'm think'n moms was a sadistic old woman. This ain't the first time moms had to "fix" me up, so's I knowed what to expect. No rodeo trophys this day.

Farm pets

I ain't ready yet. I'm sit'n here think'n bout something to amuse y'all with this morn'n an' all I got on my mind is that damned ol' mean cat. Cain't believe someone would tag me as a murderer, terrorist, wife beater and possible 8th grade drop out, jist 'cause that damn cat beat me up all the time. I rekon this just goes to show I need to git me one them writ'n certificates from some accredited college somewheres. But I'm rekon it's already too late for that....I done let the cat out the bag.

If'n ya ever live on a farm in the 40's, ya know pretty darn well that farm life is a adventure. Ya ain't got no neighbor kids to play with 'cause they live way the hell down the road at the next farm. Ya see, I lived on a farm when I was just a tot. Along with a bunch of other older boys, rang'n in age from 6 year old to 13 year old. I were the youngest. We had cows, chickens, pigs, a old ugly dog and that damn ol' mean cat. Plus any other critters we could drag home from out in the woods. Most of our adventures involved either one or all of the above mentioned animals/critters.

As I've told this story before, I had me a pet chicken. Ya see, I were the official chicken egg collector. Go out in the hen house and yank them eggs slap out from under them chickens. No chickens were harmed or harassed in this process. That's what ya do when ya live on a farm. Anyhows, there was this one chicken what would meet me at the hen house door every day. Follow me from cage to cage....talk'n to me.....chicken talk. We became best of friends in nuttin flat. If'n I strolled down to the creek look'n for a stray turtle to take home, that chicken was right there with me.....talk'n chicken talk. If'n I pump me a drink of water from the well, that chicken drink out the same drink'n can as me. We was tight...that chicken an' me.

Come night time when I go in the house for supper, that chicken wait for me on the back porch to come back outside an' play chicken games. This go on far a long time....me an' that chicken. One Sunday morn'n, I cain't find my best friend.....that chicken. Where the hell is my chicken? I look all over the place....cain't find my chicken. Come dinner time, all us kids, mom's an' pop's gather round the kitchen table. The preacher man had come to visit. There in the middle the table is a big ol' platter stack full of fresh "fried in the skillet" chicken. That was the last time I ever see my "pet" chicken.

Yesterday I were all excitis bout go'n to the golf ball swak'n place. Ya see, I done re-modified that twice modified golf'n stick what Barney give me. But bout the time I were ready to go, the wind came up blow'n like hell. Ain't talk'n bout no little 15 mile a hour breeze, we talk'n 25 plus mile a hour wind. Dust sand an' stuff blow all over the place. I ain't go'n. Today looks a whole bunch better. Just a slight breeze blow'n out there. So, that's the plan for this afternoon.....go golf ball swak'n.
In the mean time, I got lots of tools an' stuff to pick up out there on "da porch".

Here is where we stand on the "mesquite eagle" project.

See, when ya thought I were just sit'n out there on "da porch" sip'n up a cup an' do'n nuttin, I were work'n on the project. Ain't gonna say no more bout it till it's closer to completion. But this is what it gonna look like. Only it gonna have a base so's it don't fall over an' stuff like that when I go round a corner go'n a hunnert mile a hour.

Ok....that's it for now.....Laters.


 

Damn mean cat

Ok, that discussion is over with. I'm here to stay come hell or high water. Now, let's get on to other things. You know, like silly stories and nonsense.

Silly stories and nonsense is the meat on my plate. Ain't no meal without it. Some people will sit down to dinner....and eat a salad. Where's the beef??? Ya gotta have some meat.

When I was a little kid, a couple years ago, I always found humor in most every thing what went on around me. That damn "nap'n" cat fell off the TV. Now that's funny no matter how ya look at it. I fell out a tree one time. At the time, it weren't funny at all. You know what I'm talk'n bout, slam'n into them tree limbs and hit'n the ground in a heap. Scrapes an' bruised all over me. But if'n ya knowed the whole story, you would see the humor as I do. Ya see, we had this old mean cat on the farm. You remember that cat, right? The one what didn't like Billy too much. I tormented that cat.....hit bite me too. Anyhows, that cat see me com'n and heads up a tree think'n Billy don't know how to climb a tree. Up that tree I goes...almost to the top where that cat was all puff up mak'n hiss'n sounds at me. Just a little bit farther up that tree an' I grabs that cats tail.....got ya sucker. Ha, that cat jump all over the Billy Bob. Scratch'n an' bite'n. I losed my balance an' I'm headed for the ground....still got that cats tail in a death grip. You git the picture....right?

Speak'n bout that cat. I tole this story a while back, but since we on the subject of "that cat", we gonna tell it again. Ya see, that cat didn't like Billy Bob too much 'cause of the torment I inflicted on him. He was a big ol' cat with long fingernail and fangs for teeth. He scratch an' bite me all the time when I corner him. Anyhows, we had a old wood stove in the middle room what we all sit around at night. That cat was lay'n there on the floor soak'n up the heat....sound asleep. Nows my chance...gonna git that cat...git even. I sneeks up and grabs that cat by the nap an' he come alive...out a dead sleep. He claw me up one side an' down the other. Pops, the man of the house stuffs that cat in a gunny sack an' takes him off down the road. Dumps him at a neighbors farm. That was after Moms beat hell out him with a broom. That cat was gone for bout a couple week or something like that and then one day here come that old "skinny" cat. His attitude done been changed. That old mean cat never scratch an' bite me no more. Well, he never let me get close enough for another encounter....sleeped with one eye open.

Wind blowed like hell yesterday. Good thing I didn't go to the golf ball swak'n place an' lose all my old scratched up golf'n balls. It's time for a new set I rekon. I were sit'n out there on "da porch" when all a sudden here come one them dirt devils through the park. There was dirt, dust, sand an' a few small boulders fly'n through the air. It hit "da porch" like a mini tornado.....stuff fly'n everwheres. I says "what the hell" and it was windy the rest the day.

Ok....got things to do. Texas trip get'n close and I got stuff lay'n everwheres to pick up. Laters.

Something for Billy Bob

Yesterday I did something for the old Billy Bob. I went golf ball swak'n. Ya see, since I've been in Deming, I pretty much scheduled all my events around old "pesky neighbor" Wayne. When he pulls up on the golf cart....to pester me, I drop what ever I'm do'n an' we sit on "da porch" tell'n BS stories and a bunch of lies. We don't talk bout current event stories an' stuff like that.....you know, national news, elections an' all the people whats dying every day. BS and lies is the talk of the day.

So, I was sit'n out there on "da porch" sip'n up a cup, an' I says to myself...."I can swak a golf ball bout a mile or more". The reason I think'n that was 'cause I watch golf on the TV over the week end. Inspiration ya know....git all excitis. On the first hole I breaks out that twice modified 3 wood what Barney gifted me with. Swoooosh.....baaamm!!! See that tree over there on the right? That where my ball go. I got a clear shot at the green, although it's a long ways off, so's I break out another club. Swooosh.....baamm!!!. See that tree over there on the left?? Hit that sucker dead center. By the time I finally got a ball on the green, it was way too late to get anywheres close to a par. Damn, we play'n "redneck" golf.

This is pretty much what the rest of the game was like. Hit the ball over there to the right and hit the ball over there to the left. Damn, we play'n "redneck" golf. Things picked up a bit after a few more holes an' end up with a halfways decent score of 94. If'n ya ain't never played golf afore, 94 is a excellent score. But if'n ya have played golf before, ya don't brag or even mention a score of 94. That's just the way it is....golf ball swak'n 101.

All the wonderful comments yesterday made me do some think'n. I didn't have no idea there was so many people watch'n  me and my crazy world. Makes a guy stand up an' look in the bushes....see who's out there sneek'n a peek. Or as one the comments say....walk to the front the barn and see what go'n on.

Ya see, the old Billy Bob has got it in his mind that he don't write no good stuff no more. It never cross my mind that people might just stop by to see what's go'n on.....no matter what I write. That makes a old man feel good inside when he thinks he's been "put out to pasture". So.....the old Billy Bob will continue to write.

Blog nab it!!!

It's com'n down to the wire. Do Billy Bob continue to write a blog or not? I'm think'n old Dizzy Dick had something when he say it's turns into work....or what ever it was he said. In a sort of way, blogs are kind of like the social network'n thingys....Twitter an' Facebook. But on those, the responses and comments ya get is usually fill with hatred and malice. Blogs is get'n "old" and people are mov'n on to other things.

A while back, blogg'n was new to me. I were all excitis.....(don't check my spell'n MsB). I were gonna share my everday life with the world. Well, I did that. I tole all the stories of my childhood, my projects, a little nonsense here an' there....I wrote a book if'n ya was to take time to edit it. But dag nab it, I done run out of stuff to write about.

My neighbor Jim come by last night an' I pick up a old horseshoe an' start tell'n him bout that old horseshoe. Bout the time I get to Pancho Villa visit'n my granda's ranch, Jim says to me...."you told me that story last week". That the way it is with blogg'n. Ya tend to repeat stories what everbody done heard bout a hunnert times.

I were sit'n out on "da porch" last night while the sun was go'n down. I were sip'n up a cup an' do'n some think'n. Done ate my supper bout 10 minutes ago, chili spaghetti, when all a sudden a thought hit me. "It's time to git out of Dodge (Deming)". Time to hit the road. Ya been here long enough Billy Bob.

Speak'n of chili. I done fount me a new chili seasoning made by McCormick. It's called Tex Mex chili. Of course McCormick is the lazy mans chili, but I'm tell ya right now, this stuff is gooood....after ya doctor it up a tad or two. You know, garlic, onions, some chop up jalepenos....stuff like that. Make little sweat beads break out on your forehead.....run down in your eyes an' ya cain't see. Oh hell no.....it ain't that hot. Just a tad on the other side of mild an' a few notches from hot. 

Ok....gonna see if'n I can find something excit'n to do today.