My god, it's absolutely beautiful out there. This is the kind of weather that every retired guy loves to see. *think'n, "I wonder if women enjoy beautiful weather too"* "I see what ya did there Billy Bob". I'm being very careful how I word this so's I don't run any my beautiful wimmins off this morn'n. But today, it's about men.
Ya see, what I was get'n at is that "guys" like to go outside an' do stuff. Outside, not inside. Grow gardens an' stuff with great big ol' maters bout the size a basketball. Cucumbers an' onions. Watermelons. Crank up a hunnert horsepower JD lawn tractor. Cut 10 acres of lawn they just cut 3 days ago. Cut down trees just to hear a chainsaw run'n full bore. Wood chips a fly'n. Warsh an' wax the truck, not the wife's car. That's what men do. They go outside an' do "MAN" stuff. Included in "MAN" stuff, is fish'n, boat'n, golf'n, shoot'n guns an' blow'n stuff up (rednecks). Set'n BBQ grills on fire. Then there's the occasional trip to town to purchase items for the above mentioned "MAN" stuff. Bout twice or three times a week. You know, Walmart, Bass Pro Shop, Ace Hardware, Home Depot....stuff like that. Pick up a case of cheap beer an' some hot dogs for the grill on the way home.
That just bout covers what most men like to do....when it's beautiful outside. They don't intentionally jump into maintenance an' fix'n stuff unless it has something to do with the "MAN" stuff. Rake'n the yard an' warsh'n the wife's car is for the hired neighbor kid.
I waked up again this morn'n. Late of course. Yeee haw!!! But I don't feel all that good. I know it ain't from all the work I did yesterday 'cause all I did was put some water in the batteries an' brew up a big pot of chili soup. There's a difference between chili an' chili soup ya know. Ya eat chili soup with a spoon an' ya eat chili with a fork. Did it come out good?? Well, apparently it didn't 'cause I only eat one bowl. "Ya left out the jalapenos Billly Bob, ya gotta have jalapenos". Sheesh, I know that. I was make'n chili soup, not chili. Chili soup ain't supposed to set ya on fire.
Ok, I'm done with this dad gum Walmart special temp thingy. Gonna go buy me a brand spank'n new one. This one never shows the right temp. Yesterday it was off by 6 degs...accord'n to another China made temp thingy...an' the local weather channel on TV. I been fight'n this thing for two years now. That's unwelcomed an' unnecessary stress. I don't like stress.
One more thing an' I go to go. Run slap out of coffee grinds an' you know, the old Billy Bob ain't gonna go without his coffee. Dang, I hate to go to Walmart on a freak'n holiday. (due to the warmer temps, Sadie Mae stays at "da house" in air conditioned comfort) That reminds me the time......I was at Walmart. Sadie Mae was in the car. It was 75 degs, the wind was blow'n, all the winders rolled down 6 inches an' Sadie Mae was sound asleep in the front seat. Stand'n next to the car is this lady with a sweater on. She commence to chew me out for "Sadie Mae is gonna die". Ok, I have my own theory on that. If ya got to wear a sweater, it's cool enough to leave yer dog in the car. 80 degs is my limit....with the winders roll down. Sadie Mae loves me.
Out of here....it's get'n late....."do something Billy Bob".
Ya see, what I was get'n at is that "guys" like to go outside an' do stuff. Outside, not inside. Grow gardens an' stuff with great big ol' maters bout the size a basketball. Cucumbers an' onions. Watermelons. Crank up a hunnert horsepower JD lawn tractor. Cut 10 acres of lawn they just cut 3 days ago. Cut down trees just to hear a chainsaw run'n full bore. Wood chips a fly'n. Warsh an' wax the truck, not the wife's car. That's what men do. They go outside an' do "MAN" stuff. Included in "MAN" stuff, is fish'n, boat'n, golf'n, shoot'n guns an' blow'n stuff up (rednecks). Set'n BBQ grills on fire. Then there's the occasional trip to town to purchase items for the above mentioned "MAN" stuff. Bout twice or three times a week. You know, Walmart, Bass Pro Shop, Ace Hardware, Home Depot....stuff like that. Pick up a case of cheap beer an' some hot dogs for the grill on the way home.
That just bout covers what most men like to do....when it's beautiful outside. They don't intentionally jump into maintenance an' fix'n stuff unless it has something to do with the "MAN" stuff. Rake'n the yard an' warsh'n the wife's car is for the hired neighbor kid.
I waked up again this morn'n. Late of course. Yeee haw!!! But I don't feel all that good. I know it ain't from all the work I did yesterday 'cause all I did was put some water in the batteries an' brew up a big pot of chili soup. There's a difference between chili an' chili soup ya know. Ya eat chili soup with a spoon an' ya eat chili with a fork. Did it come out good?? Well, apparently it didn't 'cause I only eat one bowl. "Ya left out the jalapenos Billly Bob, ya gotta have jalapenos". Sheesh, I know that. I was make'n chili soup, not chili. Chili soup ain't supposed to set ya on fire.
Ok, I'm done with this dad gum Walmart special temp thingy. Gonna go buy me a brand spank'n new one. This one never shows the right temp. Yesterday it was off by 6 degs...accord'n to another China made temp thingy...an' the local weather channel on TV. I been fight'n this thing for two years now. That's unwelcomed an' unnecessary stress. I don't like stress.
One more thing an' I go to go. Run slap out of coffee grinds an' you know, the old Billy Bob ain't gonna go without his coffee. Dang, I hate to go to Walmart on a freak'n holiday. (due to the warmer temps, Sadie Mae stays at "da house" in air conditioned comfort) That reminds me the time......I was at Walmart. Sadie Mae was in the car. It was 75 degs, the wind was blow'n, all the winders rolled down 6 inches an' Sadie Mae was sound asleep in the front seat. Stand'n next to the car is this lady with a sweater on. She commence to chew me out for "Sadie Mae is gonna die". Ok, I have my own theory on that. If ya got to wear a sweater, it's cool enough to leave yer dog in the car. 80 degs is my limit....with the winders roll down. Sadie Mae loves me.
Out of here....it's get'n late....."do something Billy Bob".
I love chili. By the way, my one pup just loves to go out and lay in the hot Texas sun. When I finally get her to come in, she is hot to touch but she loves it. My other two love the AC.
ReplyDeleteLove chili, now matter whether its soup or stew, hotter the better!
ReplyDeleteCan't beat a big o;' pot of chili or chili soup! Some cheese and some crackers on the side, a bunch of iced sweet tea...now that's a good way to eat!
ReplyDeleteI can assure you women like to go outside and do things, but the washer, dryer, ironing board, sink, dishes, sewing machine and the dishwasher are located indoors. I say we let men take care of those things while women garden, sit in the swing and read, prune things, ride that great big lawnmower.
ReplyDelete"I wonder if women enjoy beautiful weather...".
ReplyDeleteWonder no more! Also, many are by necessity into a lot of those "Man activities called CHORES. I , as an example, am worn to a frazzle trying to keep up with chores and no time for FUN stuff. ...all work and no play makes for a very dull day. Hmm, those beautiful days keep slip, sliding away in a rushing way. Whoosh!
Well I guess I need a boyfriend to help me do the "men stuff" that I have no choice but to do as a woman :-(
ReplyDeleteSame here!
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