Touchdown at "Yo Mama's RV Resort" land'n strip was a success. Upon approach, co-pilot Sadie Mae says...."Oh my god daddy, there's fire trucks on the runway". Two pickup trucks are block'n my entrance. The "billy jeep" is hang'n out in the road. Everbody is sound asleep.
Where was my landing strip attendant when I made my approach? I could have wrecked ya know. Oh yeah, he's off to the north Georgia mountains camp'n an' fish'n so's I'll have me some fresh pan fried rainbow trout for supper tonight. Dang I like the way my son thinks. He knows his daddy is gonna be hungry.
Now we got to figger out a way to level "da house". I got all the tires jacked up on the driver side an' we are still "crookit"....that's not level if'n ya didn't know. I can live with that, but....it's not recommended to raise an' support 10,000 pounds (half of "Sally's" weight) on the leveling jacks for any amount of time. I need 2x6's kids, a bunch of 2x6's.....hint hint hint.
Yesterdays "down the road a piece" went with no errors....other than crank'n this sucker up the one time in the morn'n. Dang, I thought I was in trouble for sure....stranded. The one stop for fuel was not at the intended location. Ya see, I spied a Loves an' a Petro truck stops up the road. What the hell, try 'em out. "Perfect Billy Bob...you know some shit".
Mile after mile passed me by. I entered Georgia. Holy cows, we ride'n on air. Georgia highways are some kind of nice. I'll not discuss how pissed off I was in all then other states. Even Texas with big chunks of concrete lay'n in the road....pot holes an' stuff. Come on Obama, our highways need some assistance. *just HAD to say that*. Dad gum governments suck whether you're left handed or right handed.
So....on today's schedule, I am gonna attempt to rejuvenate this worn slap out old body. I ain't go'n nowheres an' I ain't gonna do nuttin. I got a messed up mind I got to do some repair to also. It may take more than one day....who knows? You wouldn't believe some the stuff I'm think'n bout. Wheelchairs, custom walkers, broke stuff, $$$$$$$$$$$$$ for repairs, oxygen tents....mo-skeeters an' SNOW. Dang I hate skeeters. Leave big ol' gaping holes in ya an' swell up big as a marble. I know what I'm talk'n bout....I been to Georgia before.
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12:30 Update.....
Ha.....my son Robert just showed up. With no freak'n rainbow trout.
We sit here an' talk for a bit......*ring ring* Roberts phone come alive. He leaves in the morn'n for Florida to work for a couple weeks. "Robert, can ya help me level "Sally da house"? Well guess what...."Sally da house is level....bunch of 2x6's under the driver side tires.
"Daddy, your electric adapter is smok'n". Robert gets in his truck an' heads off to Home Depot for new cable connections. He's such a good boy. An' he's got two more freak'n dogs. An' they love Billy Bob. Sadie Mae even "smiled" at 'em....teeth bared. A little growl just so they understand.
Where was my landing strip attendant when I made my approach? I could have wrecked ya know. Oh yeah, he's off to the north Georgia mountains camp'n an' fish'n so's I'll have me some fresh pan fried rainbow trout for supper tonight. Dang I like the way my son thinks. He knows his daddy is gonna be hungry.
Now we got to figger out a way to level "da house". I got all the tires jacked up on the driver side an' we are still "crookit"....that's not level if'n ya didn't know. I can live with that, but....it's not recommended to raise an' support 10,000 pounds (half of "Sally's" weight) on the leveling jacks for any amount of time. I need 2x6's kids, a bunch of 2x6's.....hint hint hint.
Yesterdays "down the road a piece" went with no errors....other than crank'n this sucker up the one time in the morn'n. Dang, I thought I was in trouble for sure....stranded. The one stop for fuel was not at the intended location. Ya see, I spied a Loves an' a Petro truck stops up the road. What the hell, try 'em out. "Perfect Billy Bob...you know some shit".
Mile after mile passed me by. I entered Georgia. Holy cows, we ride'n on air. Georgia highways are some kind of nice. I'll not discuss how pissed off I was in all then other states. Even Texas with big chunks of concrete lay'n in the road....pot holes an' stuff. Come on Obama, our highways need some assistance. *just HAD to say that*. Dad gum governments suck whether you're left handed or right handed.
So....on today's schedule, I am gonna attempt to rejuvenate this worn slap out old body. I ain't go'n nowheres an' I ain't gonna do nuttin. I got a messed up mind I got to do some repair to also. It may take more than one day....who knows? You wouldn't believe some the stuff I'm think'n bout. Wheelchairs, custom walkers, broke stuff, $$$$$$$$$$$$$ for repairs, oxygen tents....mo-skeeters an' SNOW. Dang I hate skeeters. Leave big ol' gaping holes in ya an' swell up big as a marble. I know what I'm talk'n bout....I been to Georgia before.
*****************************************************************************
12:30 Update.....
Ha.....my son Robert just showed up. With no freak'n rainbow trout.
We sit here an' talk for a bit......*ring ring* Roberts phone come alive. He leaves in the morn'n for Florida to work for a couple weeks. "Robert, can ya help me level "Sally da house"? Well guess what...."Sally da house is level....bunch of 2x6's under the driver side tires.
"Daddy, your electric adapter is smok'n". Robert gets in his truck an' heads off to Home Depot for new cable connections. He's such a good boy. An' he's got two more freak'n dogs. An' they love Billy Bob. Sadie Mae even "smiled" at 'em....teeth bared. A little growl just so they understand.
Glad you made the trip safely. Enjoy your family and the fresh caught trout.
ReplyDeleteThanks Dizzy....always good to arrive safely.
DeleteC'mon now Billy Bob. You keep thinking crazy shit like walkers, wheel chairs and the like and that's exactly what you're gonna get. Think about when you are pain free, walking like a young man, and feeling no pain after swak'n golf balls. Please start to think positive, and make yourself do it all the time - you will likely get exactly what you're thinking about. You don't have to believe this at first, but keep thinking good things are gonna happen and you'll find yourself believing.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on making it safely to Georgia. You did good, with all the things going against you - poor fuel stops, wondering if you're gonna be able to start the engine, and all that. You've got plenty of good times left, old man!
Gypsy, if'n I could overnight change my negative thoughts to positive, I would do so in a minute. But, I have talked to too many people that have had back surgery, (two sons included) with many many negative results. I have read too many back surgery reviews with too many negative results. Having positive thoughts bout something that skeers hell out me are hard to come by.
DeleteAll those things that were work'n against me....that's why I think negative. I'm look'n forward to the good times....old gal.
Now the fun can commence! Glad you made it safely!
ReplyDeleteI'm not really too concerned bout no fun times....it's the successful fix'n stuff an' family gatherings that make for "good" times. That's enough....set the fun aside. Well, wait a minute, isn't a few rounds of golf "fun" times?
DeleteThose "skeeters" only bite the sweet, so my Dad used to say. Fun and memorable times are with the family, not a piece of metal.
ReplyDeleteI'm fortunate. Mosquitoes don't nibble on me, not for many years - it's really odd. Spiders get me sometimes, marble size too, itch horribly for many days. SNOW, Billy Bob? Isn't snow rare in Georgia? Even so, it is still the month of May, so try not to worry too far into the future.
DeleteI'm a worry wart, a pessimist but usually find most of my worry was wasted time ...what IF, what if this, what if that? As the nurse advised, go prepared with all information doctors may need. I sincerely hope you will be a new man, able to swak a ball farther than ever before, so's you will beat the socks off partner Barney.
So glad you are safely landed. Now think "lots of rest" and "less worrying", good times with family members and some fun golfing with Robert.
What's this with Sadie seeing firetrucks? I'm lost.
I am facing back surgery and never thought about wheelchairs and walkers! But, now I am. I think it is hard for the mind to go back to no worries after the mind sees what is in or could be in the future. When I have the surgery, I will have to learn to walk again. That scares me, but I did not think about a wheelchair. oh gee
ReplyDelete*sit'n here think'n....maybe I'll hold off to see the outcome of Practical's back surgery*
DeleteI didn't think that too long. If I got to have surgery, I guess I'll have surgery....an' live with the outcome. Man...if I could only think of a way out.
The "not being able to walk" is getting to me. I have no idea why a wheelchair did not cross my mind. I have put this surgery off for three years, so maybe I can just wait and see what happens with yours...lol. I will have physical therapy in a nursing home to learn to walk. I think blood clots are what bothers me. My surgery will entail a six-inch cut and three units of blood.
DeleteThe worst part for me and what stops me is no social support. I certainly don't want some people inside my house, checking on it. My neighbor who would feed my hens has lots of teens around, and that makes me fear my house would have someone just come in and party...lol. It does not look like a party house, but who knows. I have no one who will even visit me in the hospital. I am having the surgery in Huntsville and friends in B'ham. I live halfway in between and friends have moved and died. When I have always worked and had friends south of here, that leaves me with few here.
I have a way out of surgery--eventually lose the ability to walk or control my bowels and bladder. But, that does not seem like a good option.
Glad you made it with just a few problems. Find the best doctor in the area. Ask all the important questions before having anyone touch you. Ask if there is anything that can be done for pain control without surgery or just taking pain pills. Be sure to ask about recovery-- length of time, possible side effects, things to eat (or stop smoking) prior to surgery that would make your body heal faster. You have been worrying about wheelchairs etc, but maybe a better mattress, chair (couch) may be the answer for some relief. Can you think of anything you do prior to having those backwards cramps that could set it off? I'm thinking about things like napping on the couch, sweeping, reaching for something that strains the back etc. It doesn't have to be something that you do in your sleep-- could have been something during the day too. Make a list of your complaints before you actually see someone. Use good descriptive words to describe what is happening. Backwards cramps is funny here, but the doctor will need words like spasm or cramp, dull or sharp pain etc. Be able to pinpoint exactly where it happens and how long, what you do to relieve it etc. Take a list of your medicines with you too, including the dosages. It also helps to have a second person there with you so if you miss something they may catch what is said. Be prepared to take notes. Does this sound like a nagging nurse? Well I am.
ReplyDeleteDaddy it was sure nice to see you today, enjoyed sending time with you and helping you out. I hate that I have to leave as you arrive. just a week or so'' I'll be back'' terminator . now you don't work to hard lol... Ok love you later
ReplyDeleteps... glad your here, now get some rest
Now you there all settled in a level, relax a bit and watch out for them man eating skeeters, they are brutal.
ReplyDelete