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Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Yikes, I cain't swim

Every day is a constant battle. That little hill we have to climb, is no longer a hill. That little stream we have to wade across, is no longer a stream. Towering mountains an' raging rivers surround us. We are "git'n old".

I don't know if'n anybody else ever wrote them words, but I just did. I ain't a mountain climber no more an' bout them raging rivers, I ain't never made it across one yet. You got to remember....I ain't a swimmer.

You would think that if'n you cain't swim, you would never jump into water without first know'n you can place your feet on rocky bottom an' just walk out to safer ground. It's that simple, your mind will tell ya...."don't do it". Most people will listen an' walk away with dry feet. I don't do that kind of think'n....I'm gonna get wet.

It was long bout 1946 or 7. Run'n throught the farm was this little creek...called a crick. Under the road bridge was a big pool of water. This was the swim hole. The older boys took me swim'n for my first time. Little did I know, there was no bottom....I jump in. Natural instinct tole me, ya gotta breath air. There ain't no air under water. I was rescued, slapped around some an' big boy cuss'n for a bit. I was told to stay in the shallow water next to the shore.....or they would beat my ass. Well this weren't no fun, I want to swim like the big boys. I wade out to bout neck deep. This more like it....as long as my toes touch bottom, I'm good to go. All a sudden the big boys start thrash'n to shore scream'n something bout "SNAKE".  Here they come, bout 4 big snakes just mind'n their own business. This was the day I learnt to walk on water. By the way,  never went back to that swim hole again.

It was long bout 1954...Twenty Nine Palms California. I had been in town only a short time an' start school. Our PE class went to the swim pool. We change into swim trunks an' all the other boys is jump'n in the pool splish splash'n an' hav'n a good ol' time. Little did I know at this young age, swim pools are deeper on one end than the other. I take me a fly'n leap into that swim'n pool....the deep end. Instinct tells me something....git out this swim pool. I was rescued an' never ever allowed in that pool again.  

We was in the Mediterranean Sea, do'n our thing on the island of Malta. The engeneer'n department had acquired a case of big ol' steaks from the the chief cook for a beach cook out. While our rookie cook was prepar'n a good fire an' all that stuff, a fellow sailor buddy says to me, "let's go over there"....on the other side a small cove. We took off walk'n....on solid ground. A hour later we are on the other side that little cove. Nuttin to see from over here. Let's go back an' eat some steak.

My buddy wades out in the water to swim across....."Come on, let's go". I says...."NO, I'm gonna walk around". He assures me he will help me if'n I have any kind of problems....like drown'n. He's a great swimmer, so I take his word for it. He's stand'n on the rocks on the other side, I'm not half way across. An' sink'n. I yell for "HELP", he says "you can make it" an' sit's down on a freak'n rock to await my demise. This is when I recall that old "ugly dog" on the farm an' how he would swim in the swim'n hole.....kick his feet an' stay afloat. Some people would call that tread'n water or dog paddle. I was a quick learner.

I eventually come to the rocks. All I got to do is climb out the water on to them rocks an' I'm on solid ground. The Mediterranean Sea is the home to many sea creatures. One is the dreaded sea urchin, a spiny ball look'n thing.

  I steps right in a pile them damn spiny things.....spines burried an' broke off in my bare feet. There went a wonderful beach cook out.....I'm in dire pain. *took almost a week to dig them spines out my feet* The thing is, I could hear them sea urchins say'n to me...."come on, make my day"....Clint Eastwood.

I already tole ya bout the two ships I jump off of into the "deep blue sea. Had I not knowed how to tread water or do the dog paddle, I would be writ'n this from "Davy Jone's" locker. Damn I loved that old "ugly dog".

There is no progress go'n on at Billy Bob's house. Everthing is at a standstill. I don't want to do nuttin. I don't really care bout nuttin. That little hill I got to climb an' that little stream I got to wade across....don't think I'm gonna make it. God I hate days like this.

   

9 comments:

  1. Oh, Come on now Billy Bob, it's just one of those 'down days'. Things will look better tomorrow, I betcha. Liked the stories today - at least you still have your memory. Right? Be glad that old Alzheimer's hasn't taken hold of you

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    1. I don't mind a down day ever once in a while, like maybe one a month. But when ya have 'em bout 4, 5 or 6 times a week, that sucks. Yes, I always look forward to tomorrow as a better day.
      Now, bout that memory....what was your name??? I've lost so much memory in the last couple years it's extremely hard to write my stories. Was I aged 4 or 5??? Was it red or blue? Was it in France or was it in Jamaica? See what I'm talk bout?....memory loss sucks.

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  2. Pour another cup of coffee and hug old Sadie Mae. That is about all your need is a good cup of joe and the love of a good dog.

    KarenInTheWoods and Steveio
    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    (Blog) RVing: The USA Is Our Big Backyard
    http://kareninthewoods-kareninthewoods.blogspot.com
    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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    1. Ha ha Karen, have ya ever known the old Billy Bob to be without a cup o' coffee? As for Sadie Mae, that dog is under foot from the time I wake up till the time I go to bed. We talk.

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  3. Yep, do just what KarenInTheWoods told you to do. But then when I was feeling that way when I was a kid, my Dad always told me: "Son, nothing is ever so bad it can't get worse"!! Have a great day, you hear?

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    1. Ha Dizzy, I was tole the same thing when I was a kid. I ain't a kid no more.
      I'll hang in there just 'cause you said so.....

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  4. Just remember you can always come down to Rockport and NOT catch fish like me.

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  5. I used to think you were kidding but I guess you're serious about not knowing how to swim. I thought if you joined the Navy it was a requisite.

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