My Grandpa

Grandpa climbed on the Greyhound bus headed for Las Vegas with change jingl'n  in his pocket. It weren't the first time and weren't the last. He were a gambl'n man....blackjack. Every time he work out a system, he get on the bus and be gone for days on end....usually only a couple. In his valise (suitcase), he carried a loaded old timey Colt 45 cal. single action pistol and where ever Grandpa was at, that valise sat right next to him. Would he use it??? I suspect he probably would.

I asked him one time when I was growed up...bout 14 or 15, where he got it, but he never told me anything other than "remember Pancho Villa"??? That all he said. I asked him if he ever shot it. He says "one time". Seems there was an Indian in his corn field steal'n corn back in Columbus on "da ranch". He shot high just to scare the him. He said he never see a man so fast in his life. Never seen him again. Sure wish I had that old Colt 45. I got one just like it, but it's brand spank'n new and a .357...just hang'n on the wall "do'n nuttin".

Grandpa used to mix peanut butter and water together and drink it. When I asked him why he did that he says "it's medicine Billy". Holy Crap, what freak'n kind of medicine is peanut butter and water?

Grandpa came to live with me back in bout 67' or so. Under his bed he kept a big jar of peanut butter, a case of Coco Cola and that valise. Spent most his time in his room either sleep'n or sit'n on the edge of the bed look'n at stuff in that old valise....pictures and stuff. He guarded it with his life. That was all he had left.....memories and a few old pictures....and that old Colt 45.

Back at Walmart

Weren't long after that my trusty steed "jeep" got a rock or something in one his feet and we limped back to "da ranch just hobbl'n long. Couple time he stopped breath'n...kind a coughed like and then back to a full gallop.

Don't what wrong with this "that jeep this time. Yesterday a little yeller light come on say "check engine". A neighbor just happen to have a gizmo for check'n stuff like that. Cadillac converter or some crap like that. Well, "that jeep' ain't got one...somebody done stole it whiles I weren't look'n. So neighbor reset the computer and all is well. That is till I were com'n back from Walmart. Freakin engine pooted a couple times, like it was gonna quit on me....out in the middle of no where. Be walk'n.

Speak'n of Walmart....I had to go back today 'cause I didn't read the label. Here what happen....back there in the T/V section they got some games for my Play Station. Well Lord have some mercy....lookie here... that one on sale, just what I were look'n for. So's I bought it and took it home. Wait a minute here, this game don't fit my Play Station....what the hell. That why I went to Walmart again today. Got my money back and bought the right one....for more money of course. It ain't worth a flip!!!

Back at "da ranch"

Just got back from down at the Dry Gulch Saloon on my trusty steed "jeep". Had'a ride off to town for supplies and ammunition. An old sidewinder stand'n at the bar gave me a look when I strude in an ordered me up a shot of "cup'o". A crusty look'n feller with sunken beady eyes. Long greasy black hair, "whiskey" scars on his head and bakkie juice run'n down his chin. He says..."what ya look'n at...stranger". Well ya probably know where this is going......

At the ranch

This morning I woke up....Yeee Haaaa....another day.

Weren't nuttin but clouds all day yesterday but we got sunshine this morning. Someone said we was expect'n rain, but I don't see none...yet.

On the agenda for today it looks like I gonna be "do'n nuttin". Still have a problem with start'n the engine...turn the key...it might start or it might not. Battery voltage is OK. Hmmmmm....what the hell wrong now. Hold on....gonna check it again this morning. Ah ha.....I lied. The battery voltage is low. Now how comes that??? With that said... I have a project....fix it or buy a new battery.

When Pancho rode up to the ranch he was all red faced and mean looking. He had just rode in from the Birchfield ranch after coming across the border from Mexico. He had stopped off to "shoot the breeze" with William Perry and apparently their visit wasn't a good one. "Birchfield is a sum bitch, Piepmeier is a good man". That what he said. Seems he was watering his horses and William Perry didn't take to that without his permission. Run Pancho off with a double barrel shot gun.

Mr. William Perry Birchfield was a hard old man. A cattle baron from west Texas. With close to 30,000 acres of ranch land and thousands head of cattle, he had to be tough. Even to Pancho Villa. He had 3 mines in them mountains, the Floritas....mean'n flowers, where he spent many hours "think'n". An Indian cheif attempted to steal his favorite horse Snorter one evening, but about the time he climbed up on Snorters back, William Perry whistled and Snorter throwed that Indian to the ground, feet in high gear headed for the mountains. Mountain lions came to the ranches look'n for a quick dinner of what ever was around. Dogs, cats and small newborn cow puppies. Skunks and badgers were a frequent sight. My aunt Evelyn come out the outhouse call'n "here kitty, here kitty" Great grandpa John shot that "here kitty" dead on the spot full of buckshot.

Life was hard on the ranch. Grandpa plowed up a piece of land with two old mules and planted corn. While driv'n around the corn field in his Model T pick'um up truck, grandpa got stuck up in a mud bog. He was dig'n out the tires when off to the south, here come Pancho Villa and his crew. Pancho laughed at the predicament grandpa had got himself into what grandapa got so mad he threatened to yank him off'n that horse and whoop his ass. Pancho and his crew broke out ropes what they tied to that old Model T pick'um up and pulled it slap out that bog. Then they sat on "da porch" and sipped a cup.

I still go visit the ranches on occasion although there is nothing left but dry land. Cattle still roam the area...big cattle....bigger than Texas Longhorns. Walk'n the ranches take me back to a time when cowboys rode horses and fended off outlaws and Indians. To stand on the spot where Pancho Villa and Grandpa sit sip'n coffee and jaw'n. Make ya wanna live.

Pancho Villa at the ranch

Well, I won't dwell on the subject of Pancho Villa, but he was at one time a bandit throughout Mexico and and the badlands of west Texas and New Mexico. A hero he was in the Mexican Revolution. Around the time of 1910, the name Pancho Villa was as common as Wheaties, the breakfast of champions, around the breakfast table.

His travels to Deming, NM. were many, for political reasons, coming out of Mexico through or around Columbus, NM. Most times right through the Piepmeier homesteads and the Birchfield ranches with a band of sometimes 50 or more Villistas....fighting men...hard core...cut yer throat...shoot ya in a heartbeat. While the Birchfields didn't tale a lik'n to he visits, he was welcomed at the Piepmeier ranch. Free coffee, chat and blacksmithing. Note: Hanging on my wall is a horseshoe from the ranch that could possibly be from one of Villa's clan....as there were no horses only mules for plowing on the Piepmeier ranch.

Now, the Piepmeiers weren't only farmers in this desolate land, grandpa was a contractor. Built stuff just like old Billy Bob do. In Columbus stands an adobe jail house what grandpa built.

Closer to the mountains, he built a one room schoolhouse of adobe. This structure was torn down for the adobe blocks in the late 50's. He was the first to plaster outside walls of adobe structures in southern New Mexico.

In the town of Columbus, great and grandpa's had a small grocery store. Produce was provided from the ranch.

With Indians still on the rampage and after the Pancho Villa raid in 1916, people were temporarily abandoning their homesteads and ranches for safer ground....the growing little town of Deming was a safe haven. The Piepmeiers rented a little shack right in the heart of Columbus as they had a thriving business...the grocery store.

Grandpa told me many years ago of his first meeting of Pancho Villa. Off in the distance he seen a dust cloud....as the Indians used to say....many horses....many men. The hair stood up everywhere he had hair when the approaching heavily armed riders appeared in his fields. One in particular stood out.
He wore bullet belts crisscrossed across his chest, a huge black sombrero and rode a beautiful "grey" horse. None other than Pancho Villa in the flesh. They chatted for a while....on "da porch" sip'n grandma's bitter coffee and a smile. Although, grandma was probably pee'n her pants. As time went by, Pancho never missed a chance to visit the ranch for more of grandma's coffee and cookies.

Off to the east sat the San Juan Ranch, not more than a 1/2 mile. One of the Birchfield ranches with many head of cattle and horses. Pancho's first visit to the Birchfield ranches was not welcomed by William Perry Birchfield.  Cattle scattered by the small army approaching and all hands were armed and ready for what was to come. Nothing came of the visit, but Pancho stayed clear of Birchfield ranches after that.

More to come....just ya wait and see.

Who's that guy???

Last night I were think'n, when ya gonna tell em' bout old Pancho Villa and grandpa's stuck model T truck?
Well, before I get into that story, maybe I need to tell ya how my grandpa come to be anywhere close to where he would meet the notorious Pancho Villa. So this is gonna be a long drawn out bunch of writ'n just to get up to the story.

In 1834, two brothers, Herman Heinrich Piepmeyer (my great great grandfather) and Johan Heinrich Wilham Piepmeyer, came to the United States by way of old sail'n ships....there weren't no big luxury cruise ships at that time. They settled in a little town called Dutzow, Missouri, where they took up trades of farmer, blacksmithing, stone masons and wine making. My great grandfather Johan Adolf Piepmeier was born in 1845 and baptized in Femme Osage, Mo. Note: Spelling was changed in 1845 from Piepmeyer to Piepmeier. Still pronounced the same....duh!!! Herman Piepmeyer moved his large family to Appleton City, Mo. some time between 1860 and 1865....wild guess here. Greatgrand father Johan married and produced offspring....including my beloved grandpa Victor L. Piepmeier. He was a builder, farmer, grocer and musician.


In about the year of 1910 or there bouts, my great and grandfather wagoned to New Mexico territory before it was a State. Indians were still on the rampage and many settlers were killed in an attempt to live in this desolate land. Homesteads were claimed.


Then at the same time came another family to this area, William Perry Birchfield. He was a Texas rancher and acquired many many acres of ranch land. One ranch next to the Piepmeier homesteads. This is where my grandpa met and married my grandmother, Clara Ann Birchfield. He built her a great one room adobe structure out in the middle of nowhere where they produced 3 offspring, of which one was my father William Ralph Piepmeier, before grandma died in 1916 at a very young age of about 26....I think.


What does this have to do with Panhco Villa??? Well just hold on and we'll get to that later.


In the mean time, I got to get to bed.

Stoopit kids

Oh....there it is right there on my right foot. Who would'a ever thought?

Before ya ask, that was my shoe I were look'n for. But it weren't really miss'n.
Did I ever tell ya bout the time, I were get'n late for work and couldn't find my glasses. I look everywhere. I were frustrated...that damn girl just lay'n there with a grin on her face. "my glasses...git up..help me find my glasses". "You're wearing them....stooopit". That a true story...I swear. And I were only 52 year old. Now I'm well beyond that age and still have the same problem.....but that ain't what I'm get'n on to here.

I were lay'n in bed this morn'n think'n.....damn it's cold in here ....Lug Nut git off'n me...damn dog!!! Respect, that's what miss'n in my life. Like when I'm eat'n, them damn dogs just sit there stare'n at me..."I want a bite". "Oh can I have some"? Neighbors have no respect at all. Here I am sit'n outside, mind'n my own business and here they come with a big grin on their face. I don't wanna talk this early in the morn'n....I'm "relaz'n". Yeah that's a word....kind of like lay'n back but too lazy to move. Next thing ya know, they gonna want to sit down and ask some silly question like "how ya doing". And ya know what that can lead to....a long drawn out useless boring conversation.

What I fount out in years of "practice"..... make 'em go way. Growl....yeah....growl. Works good unless there's a dog present....dogs bite. Start cuss'n....just any word 'll do. "Gald darn" coffee sucks. Where's the "freak'n" price tag? Learn to cuss when there ain't nobody round. Talk to yourself...loud. That'll scare 'em. That remind me the time I were in the local Walmart store back in San Antone. Weren't a good day for old Billy Bob. I were feel'n the after effects of a bad meal and a few beers, so's I started mumbl'n stuff in every asile...talk'n to myself.....quite a conversation. I notice people were stay'n clear, but they was a look'n. So's I started us'n a few choice cuss'n words. Boy howdy, that do the trick. I were attacked by the manager and a couple rough look'n dudes what escorted me out the front door. No respect I tell ya, no respect.

What I'm get'n to here is...leave old people alone. Don't mess with 'em. Respect 'em...like they was your own relation. Give 'em a big ol' hug and see what happen to ya. LOL...they gonna knock ya down.

Sure is a good look'n day out there. Just think'n...I should be a fish'n. Done spent some my hard earn dollar on fish'n stuff and here I sit just think'n bout it. Fix my fish pole so's it'll throw that line with the little spin thingy a mile. Grease it all up like brand spank'n new. And here I sit just think'n bout it.

With all that said, here what I gonna do. Gonna sit right here until all that mud in Yuma dry up, fire up my 8.1 General Motors Chevy Vortec engine and head off to town. Fill up my water tank, empty that "other" nasty tank, get me some more propane and spend a night at Walmart wait'n on my prescriptions. That make me so "cited I could swing open the door and pee in da yard. I pee in a swim pool one time...right off the side. Had the whole place to myself right quick like. That when I were younger though...45 I think. Kids do stupid things ya know.

Speak'n stupid things.....I had me an old "37 Dodge car what I wanted to turn over.....don't ask why.  Go'n down the road 60 mile a hour, made a sharp right hand turn...dust and dirt fly'n. Went up over that hill thingy the road grader left, out off through greasewood bushes, cactus and little flower thingys....bounc'n like a "goofy ball". Stuff was fly'n. The damn thing wouldn't turn over. Took it to a race track...wide open round ever turn. All what happen was a blowed tire and a long walk home. Had it turn over, ya would be read'n my obituary instead. Stoopit kids!!!

Now for the grand finally.....break time.

Ok...break time over...got things to do. "Oh...what press'n things ya got to do Billy Bob"? See...that what I were talk'n bout...talk'n to myself.

I were sit'n outside on da porch sip'n a cup and got to think'n.....them batteries ain't get'n fully charged. So's I broke out the DeWalt hi power 9 volt portable drill, the table saw and the big ol' roll round pump 'em up jack. I have work to do. Took that charge controller off'n the wall and crank that voltage up to 14.70 volt. Boy howdy, I want ya lookie see all them amp go'n in them batteries. Ain't gonna be no time them battery gonna be cry'n..."turn it off". While I was deeply involved with fix'n stuff, I chacked the voltage drop from the charge controller to the battery bank. Holy cows....14.28 volts....that ain't right. Time I went look'n for some heavy wire...bout #4 I rekon will do. But then again, I could buy me one then Trimetric 2020 meter battery monitor thingies and move the controller to the battery compartment. But not today!!!!

Clum up on the roof to check where my slideout been leak'n. Yep....right there where the seal thingy don't even touch the slide roof. That would cause a leak...right??? Now....how the hell do ya raise the slide when it sit on rollers. Wonder if'n that why it so hard to roll it in. Gonna have to look into that...but not today. Hold on, I gonna go outside and check something.....be right back. Well that were a wasted trip....can't see a damn thing.

Oh well....back to the porch, sip a cup and do some think'n.

Where I at...?????

oops.....

Wayne is a big boy.....real big boy.....eats lots of doughnuts and stuff

where my shoe????? "LUG NUT...where my shoe"???

Rain'n dog and cat puppies

Well shoot, here I were sit'n here think'n I was in some kind of paradise while the rest of the country was look'n for a place to get warm and a place to get dry. Then I look at the news and...my god....it's rain'n an it ain't never gonna stop. This "paradise" made the National news. How bout that???

Speak'n of rain....what I don't like to do, I'm a think'n I may be stuck here for a while. That would be 'cause there only one way in and one way out. And "that" road were filled with mud and muck from the rain two day ago....I can imagine what it look like now. Now what ya gonna do Billy Bob??? I could be in a worster place ya know. Like at "da pond" in Yuma. From the radar thingy, they got busted. And that mean old Billy Bob made a good decision to stay right here.

Speak'n of rain....boy howdy, it rain'n in "da house". Where all these leaks come from??? I got a window open ya know and the floor is sop'n wet what I happen to step on in my sock feet this morn'n. Now my feet are cold. Then I sit down on the couch and my god, it drenched. Now I got wet cold feet and a wet cold butt. Gonna take days for that thing to dry out.

Now what ya gonna do Billy Bob??? "Stay inside...that what I gonna do". I guess I could finish the dishes I started two days ago. Then maybe break out the vacuum cleaner. Hell I don't know. Sound like work to me, and ya know what I think of work.

2:30 pm.....holy geebies, did I mention rain. For the last two hours it has rained cows and buffalo....wind blow'n 400 mph hour and no end in sight. Although...we did have some sunshine a while ago....for 5 minutes. I can't believe this. I been through hurricanes in south Texas, but "this" ain't south Texas. What the hell did I dothis time???

Oh....and on top all that, I lost all my pics I took here at the slabs. Left them all on that little card giggy and when I went to take a pic, it said the card could not be read...had to format it. Now that piss me plumb off. Here's the deal, the card was in my PC...work just fine 2 day ago...now tell me what happen.

Sunshine and stuff

My God, did ya see what happen last night??? For me, I'm happy as a lark....hmmmm, are larks really happy???
Anyhows, now I feel like I am actually one of "we the people" what has something to say.
"that's all I have to say bout that" (GUMP) Yeeee Haaaa

Beautiful day at "da slabs". Whole sky full of sunshine, 70 degs and a little breeze......but don't get too comfortable, 2 more days of heavy rain headed this way. Then, it's off to Yuma for some fish'n....probably bout monday next week.

Ok, here's the deal. My water tank still had 10 or more gallons in it, so why the hell am I out of water??? Went off to town and got me 14 more gallons, so I'm good for a few days. Then I check the water in that engine battery.....it were full to the brim. Then I checked the voltage with the engine run'n....it were fine (13.44 volts). Ok, now....why the hell my battery dead? Will update on my findings as I find them. Then, I changed 5 gallon buckets and fill it with rocks.

Oh Oh, another major destruction issue has surfaced. Remember them brand spank'n new reflectors I build a while back??? Well, the rain did a number on them. They all curl up reflect'n in all kind of directions....they warped. But don't ya fret none, old Billy Bob know what he gonna do. Not today though.

I weren't the only one what got a spank'n from the wind and rain. Old Tennessee Ken done got swamped and moved to a new campsite. Hazel talk'n bout mov'n back to next to me 'cause she in a lake of water and mud. Couple roads got a good wash'n out and now we wait'n for the road grader people to fix them.

News flash.....just talk to "pesky neighbor" Wayne. He had a freak'n heart attack, went to the hospital and got 3 stints put in. Now how the hell is he gonna play golf when I get back?? Doc told him he do'n fine, but to quit smok'n. Same freak'n doc I got. Boy howdy, I'm happy he ain't dead.

The great rain storm

And not only that....we had hail. Boy howdy, did it rain or what? And there more on the way....I'm gonna drown.

Ok....I went to crank the engine to "Sally da house" an guess what. Battery problem, just like it were last year. But this year I ain't got an extra battery for the engine. But that only half of it....now the handle broke on my 5 gallon bucket. What is a man to do when all these things happen the same time? Oh, and fore I forgit, I got a water leak on the tv antenna. Now how the hell that happen...it never leak before.

Yeah, old Billy Bob had hisself 2 bad days. Makes me wanna just pack up and go somewhere. What I was gonna do tomorrow, but then we got this big ol' storm what mean it's gonna be nuttin but mud in Yuma. Maybe I'll just sleep for the next 4 or 5 days till it all passes.

Then....I ate a bowl of "Chili Bobs" famous Colorado chili. Not to knock his famous chili, but I need Alka Seltzer...or something like that. Yep....old Billy Bob done had him 2 bad days.

Bad hair day

Holy cripes Billy Bob, what the hell did you do to poor little Sadie Mae. "Uhhh, it's like this...I were cut'n her hair and the clippers give out half way done". Then I took the scissors to her. Yeah, I mess up again, but it ain't the first time I been knowed to admit to defeat. LOL...I got to say, it's back to Walmart for a new set of clippers. Lug Nut don't know who she is now.



Got more visitors to the camp. Heide and Peter all the way from New Jersey...or some place like that. Lug Nut was bark'n at someone in the camp I never see before, so maybe we got more for round the campfire tonight.

Speak'n of campfire...we got a feller from Colorado what goes by the name of Perry what been bring'n in wood from a construction site dumpster down the road a piece. He brung in another load today what make bout 2 cord if'n ya stack it. I could build a house with all them scraps. We got enough firewood to last for two years. Little does the rest of the camp know, but old Billy Bob gonna load up a heap them 2 by sticks and take to "da pond" in Yuma. Boy howdy!!!

What start off a bad day at the slabs turn into another beautiful 70 plus day with lots of sunshine and just enough breeze to keep the flies off'n ya.

Did I tell ya bout the pot of chili I made yesterday? Well....it sucks. Don't ever buy hamburger in California. The cows may be happy, but the meat end of them sucks...greasy crap what they call hamburger. Ruuned a 3 gallon pot of delicious chili. NOTE: scooped out a 14 oz. can of grease for I attempted to eat any....and them I were skeered I would end up sick....what I didn't....but it still sucks.

Oh Oh...look like all the southwest gonna get a drench'n with some rain. Now this is bad news. Ya know I were gonna leave here in 2 days to "go fish'n", but now it look like I gonna be here at "da slabs" row'n round in my little blow up boat for another week. Oh well!!!

Birthday girl....Hazel

Boy howdy, what did I do??? All I done is mention "oatmeal" and the whole world is in turmoil. Earthquakes in different parts of the world, freez'n weather all the way down to Florida, people steal'n clothes off'n clothes line, fist fights in bars....and the list goes on and on. But let me tell ya bout this stuff call oatmeal. In right bout the time it take to pull some eggs and bacon out the fridge for to cook up, ya can have a hot steam'n bowl of vitamin enriched breakfast right at your fingertips. Now, what can ya do with oatmeal? Ya can put some "chocolate chips" in it like suggested in the comments or ya can put a hand full of California sun dried raisins in it.  That what old Billy Bob do....for the extra fibre. Then if'n ya really want go wild, ya can chop up some Spam or some crumbles of bacon and toss in there. My favorite is a big ol' heap'n spoon of Folgers instant Sweet, Creamy and Smooth Mocha Chocolate Cappuccino. Boy howdy...caffeine galore. Have ya ever tasted Metamusil?? Now that stuff sucks. Oatmeal is a refreshing substitute for a man made combination of cancer caus'n chemicals and chunks of wood (fibre).

Opps, we had another birthday party last night round the campfire. Hazel the short little Canuck. How bout a big ol' strawberry birthday cake with "real" strawberries and whipped icing. None that cheap imitation junk for Hazel.

Time to move on

Well, old Billy Bob been do'n some think'n. It's like this, as long as I were follered round by that ol' "black cloud" and everything I done turn into a disaster, my blog was a "hit". Since I been stuck at the slabs with nuttin to do, it been a downhill climb...yeah, ya can climb downhill just like climb'n a railroad track on yer hands and knees.

I been here long enough....time to move on. As soon as the birthday party is over, I'm out of here. Birthday party ya say??? Well yeah!!! Seann from Canada is gonna have one here in just 3 more days. Rekon I'll bake up that cherry chocolate cake for the occasion. Then I'm out of here....off to happy hunt'n grounds. Well, maybe not hunt'n ground, but "go fish'n". Yeah...Yuma, Arizona at "da pond". May even go to the "donkey BBQ" come Feb. 5th. in Palo Verde, Ca. bout a hunert mile north of Yuma....right close to Quartzite, Az. But if'n the fish'n at "da pond" is anything like last year, I ain't go'n nowhere.

I'm so sick of eat'n oatmeal I could puke. But I'm too damn lazy to make a "real" breakfast. Got all the mak'ns.....just don't like cook'n the stuff, then 5 minutes later, it all gone. Complete waste of time. And ya know, old Billy Bob ain't one for wast'n time.

Speak'n of cook'n....gonna try mak'n a pot of 15 bean soup in the solar oven today. Got to hurry though...times a wast'n. Hmmmm.....maybe I put some chunk of ham in there. Yep...that what I gonna do.

Now I gonna go sit on "da porch", eat my oatmeal, sip a cup and do some think'n.

OK....what day is it???

I ain't got no change in my pocket...spent it all at the bar. Dogs ain't got no food....they scrounge'n in trash cans. My tires are bald and won't hold no air. Whoa is me!!!! Boy howdy, them were some memories.
"Back to reality Billy Bob".

Holy cows, ya should 'a see the sun come up this morn'n. I grab my camera....but the damn batteries were dead like a doorknob. Bestest sunrise I see since I been here. So, ya say. What ya do'n up that early? Well it like this. Last night while I were sit'n round the campfire, the dogs got into the trash and was eat'n up anything what smell like food. Bout 4:30 Lug Nut was jump'n up and down mak'n "chug'n" noises....what woke me up. He had'a go outside and puke up "stuff"....right now. And of course, make his morn'n rounds....dogs bark'n everywhere. I fired the Onan generator and brewed me up a pot....neighbor hollered "HEY!!! Turn that damn generator off, I'm try'n to sleep".  Well, I was too fore that damn dog woke me up.

Let me tell ya bout a batch of biscuits I were gonna cook up yesterday. Oven were up to 275 degs and not to waste all that heat, decided I need to cook something. Biscuits. That were a mistake. First I put cook'n oil in the dough instead of Crisco. Then here come a great big ol' cloud. Then the damn pan were too big to fit. That were 8 of the things Lug Nut were chow'n down on last night.

Speak'n of cook'n...that brisket what I throwed in the oven the other day come out perfect. Pis ya say??? Well hell no. I done forgit to take some. Slice it all up and now I got sandwich mak'n for a week.

Just read a sad description from an old lady on her maiden voyage from one my "groups" I belongs. She 85 year old and bought her a high dollar Prevost motorhome what she took off for Florida. She back in her cozy warm home in New Jersey now 'cause it were too cold in Florida. This were her dream what were cut short by cold weather. Don't think she ever gonna have another chance to "on the road again". So sad.

Well shoot, got all busy do'n stuff and forgot all bout this post. New batch of biscuits come out just find but not browned like I like them...but they good. Then I started read'n a book. Then I went to sleep. Then I waked up and here I am all groggy eyed and grumpy.

Try'n something new

Old Billy Bob like things old, but thought I would give this new updated version of post editor a try. Don't know what I'm do'n, but what the hell, I usually don't anyhows. The first thing I gonna try is post'n a pic I took last year while I was on "da beach" in Port Aransas, Texas.

Well crap....it ain't do'n what they said it would do.  Gonna have to "spearmint" with this thing.

Ok...let me see what this button do....Well, I want ya lookie here......what the hell??? Ok....that took care that!!! 

Woke up again this morn'n. Boy howdy, that good news. Last night were one them "scary" nights when ya combine all your thoughts into one dream. Holy cows, Billy Bob in trouble. Actually, it were a nightmare. I were camped on a little piece of land, mind'n my own business, look'n out across the water from some little island in the Pacific Ocean. Ok, how the hell I get way out here in a motorhome? I had the solar over all set up to cook me some kind'a fresh caught weird look'n fish...with big fierce look'n teeth. It were rain'n like a cat and a dog and the solar oven caught on fire.....(it's a dream ya know, these things happen in dreams). Here come the fire department, Coast Guard and the Texas Rangers....all in little boats with red and blue lights flashing. "Sally da house" had done sunk up to the windshields and Lug Nut had done turned into a full fledged fire breath'n pit bull chas'n some guy in a pin striped suit on a bicycle. Next thing I knowed, I was sit'n at some big airport with rags for clothes begg'n for change for a cup of coffee. That's when I had to get up and go pee.

Speak'n of solar oven, what ya think bout us cook'n up something today? I know, I got a big chunk of beef brisket what been in the freezer for months. Yep, that what we gonna do. But I got to thaw it out first...froze solid as a brick. The oven is already up to 250 degs, (9am) so's by the time this thing thaws, the oven will be ready. Need room in the freezer anyhows for all this other stuff I bought at Walmart the other day.

Yesterday I had a visitor from LA what come by to see old Billy Bob. Mark (OGT) and I drove up the road to Bombay Beach for breakfast at the American Legion....right at bout 9:30 10oclock. There were a guy pound'n a piano and sing'n some "bar" songs, some old timers sit'n on "da porch" smok'n and drink'n beer....at 9:30 10 oclock and a crowd of people inside eat'n up and drink'n weak coffee.  Went back to "da house", sit around jaw'n and tell'n tales. Thanks for the visit OGT!!!

Sunday??? Again???

Boy howdy, where all these days go off to? Seems like just yesterday it were Friday, but hell no, it were Saturday. Sheesh!!!

Ain't no use talk'n bout the weather this morn'n. Same as every day. So boring. Here it is freez'n cold everywhere, people build'n snowmen, throw'n snowballs, frolic'n in the nastiest weathe we see in years and I have to sit here in shorts, a tee shirt and sandals. Oh well, somebody got to do it.

Hmmmm, I been sit'n here think'n bout the comment "honey" made yesterday. Let me see what I can say to ease her doubts of old Billy Bobs travels to Terlingua. I been retired (and RV'n) for 8 years now and in that 8 years only blogged for ONE....of which I made 2 trips to Terlingua in 2009. Yeah, they were short trips...bout a week each....it were so hot, there ain't no way hell gonna freeze over. In 2002, my first trip, I was tell'n myself, "I could live here". Then I went back in 2003 in the dead of winter, still tell'n myself, "I could live here". From 2003 to my first blog entry, I made another 5 trips to Terlingua. So there!!!

But, as far as living in Terlingua, don't gonna do it unless my health says to lay down the keys to "Sally da house". Gonna travel the wide expanses of our great country until I can travel no more. That's what full time rv'ers do.....ya know. But, old Billy Bob needs a home base. Some where to plant his feet when he not on the road. A little chunk of property he can call "home". To take off his shoes, lay back on "da porch" sip'n a cup and do some think'n. Terlingua would be perfect.

LOL to Walmart. "that's all I have to say bout that"....(GUMP)
Ya gotta love Walmart....everything a man could ever dream of, cheap prices, courteous employees, no wait'n in lines, acres of free park'n (for RV's) and all the free trash bags ya could ever want. You can eat there, brush your teeth there, sit in the lawn chairs when your feet get tired and marvel at the aisles and aisles of "stuff". Boy howdy, ya gotta love Walmart.

Well, I done run out of water when I were mak'n my first pot of coffee this morning. This time I had a jug full in the fridge....no dog water this time. Yeah, the water I picked up yesterday is still in the jugs in the back of "that jeep". Gonna pump them into da house right shortly.

Speak'n of dogs....last night we was eat'n dinner round the campfire and here come all the dogs. Even a few we never see before, all want'n a little bite of food. Beg'n. Well, Lug Nut was the worst of the bunch. He went from one dinner plate to the next and of course got a little bite at each plate. I threatened him with a stick, but he know I ain't gonna swak him, so's he just ignored my efforts. Crazy dog!!!

Ain't got a thing planned for the day.

Terlingua or not?????

Yesterday I was talk'n bout go'n off grid....pointed in the direction of Terlingua, Texas. Now if'n ya never been to this place, ya gotta take a look see what I'm talk'n bout. I rekon if ya was to "google", you gonna find everything ya want to know bout it.

Some folk gonna say that Terlingua is an isolated ugly patch of ground out in the middle of nowhere. Yep, you may be right. That is if ya never look at the beauty of the desert and mountains. When God invented the Big Bend area, he knowed exactly what he were do'n. I been there many times, so's I know what I'm talk'n bout. I could live there no problem. And that probably what I gonna do. I may die there, but that ok too.....gotta die somewhere!

Then there's the people that live there and those that "plan" to live there. In my travels all over the country, I find all kind of "old grumpy", "nasty", "foul minded", "get off my land", "nose stuck in the air" kind of folk. But when I'm in the Terlingua area, I find a different kind of folk. The kind ya would want for a neighbor....bout a mile away. These are hard work'n folk, scratch'n the dirt and rocks to build a life of freedom and happiness. Some make it, others don't. It's a hard way to go, but in the end, worth every effort.

Picked up all the tools, burnt all the scrap wood from the old solar oven, raked the yard and lay back "do'n nuttin". Now that what I call a good day. Oh, did I mention it got up to 75 degs yesterday. Not that you would be interested, but being a retired R/V'n old fart liv'n in his "shack on wheels" has it's good points.

Boy howdy, what a beautiful morning it is. Gotta do something today.....outside. Let me see, I need to go get water, take the trash to the dumpster, make a run to Walmart for something to eat and maybe sit on "da porch" sip'n a cup. That sounds like a full day even if nuttin else gets done.

That took care that. Done dropped off a hunert pounds of trast, fill my two water jugs and went to Walmart. But, Boy Howdy....did Billy Bob get all 'cited and buy up all kind of stuff. Went WAY over what I was gonna spend. "How the hell ya gonna get that big ol' pizza in the freezer"??? Well shoot, that easy....break out the Skill saw and cut it in half....DUH!!! All that other stuff, I have no idea where it gonna go.

First thing I done when I got back at 3pm was to hook up my brand spank'n new Brita water filter. The cheap one since it only temporary. Brewed me up a pot of coffee and let me say right here and now, that sucker works. Good "man" coffee with the bite of a fire breath'n dragon.

My dinner what I made last night (for two meals) is gonna have to wait till tomorrow. We all gonna eat a big ol' chuck roast tonight with all them taters and carrots. Boy howdy, can hardly wait.

Ok, I'm gone....pooof!....just like that. Got $200 worth of stuff what is wait'n on me to be put up. Where??? You tell me............Sheesh Billy Bob, think fore ya go shopp'n.

Go'n off grid

I were read'n what's his names blog a while ago and it got me to think'n bout liv'n off grid on nothing more than social security. That got me to think'n how much do a person need to stay alive, have no bills and still be healthy and happy. Well...it depends. If ya be by yourself with only a couple old dogs to feed, yeah it can be done. And put a few $$$ in the bank for a rainy day.
But, if'n ya got a family, ya need to do some mighty hard think'n. For one person...and his dogs, it's an adventure. But for a family, it's a responsibility.

Now, let's take a look see what I'm talk'n bout. Before ya even think of go'n off buy'n property, can ya afford it when ya know your only income is gonna be SS??? Ain't gonna be mak'n no payments with that. That's eat'n, heat'n and gas money.

Then ya gotta have a place to sleep at night....a heated place. Now we talk'n bout a chunk of change, although a little shack can be built pretty cheap. But then, ya gotta have ya some solar panels, an inverter and a bunch of batteries. Another chunk of change.

Ok ya say, "that ain't nuttin". But it is something. A big something. Bout $10,000 worth...and if ya ain't got it, it ain't gonna happen. Oh sure, ya can live in a tent for a year sav'n up a few dollars, but in the end run, ya gotta pay.

If'n I was gonna go off grid...and live in a shack, first thing I would do is check my finances. Ok....they fine. Then find my little chunk of paradise land and set about build'n that little shack, but not liv'n in it quite yet. Then in the next two months (sav'n what SS I could) buy me an inverter and a couple batteries and charge them with a cheap generator and battery charger. The last two items are an investment not an expense (right bout $300).

A cheap shack many overlook is a small older travel trailer. They have everything ya gonna need to live comfortable....much more than an empty wooden shack.

That's what I would do, but I'm so far ahead the game all I got to do is park this big ol' motorhome somewhere, put out the awning and sit on the porch sip'n a cup. Although, that's not what old Billy Bob has in mind. Pull this big sucker up under at shelter, walk out the door and sit on "da patio" and sip a cup. My cost would still be $5000 plus the land...and then my personal improvements, probably another $5000. So there ya have it...no matter how ya look at it, it gonna cost $10,000. "That's all I have to say bout that" (GUMP)

Can you believe it? At 5am this morn'n it were 50 degs outside. Then long bout 8am it were 62 degs. Not long after that it were 74 plus degs. Boy howdy!!! But then all hell broke loose. Wind started blow'n (bout 8 mph), clouds started roll'n in and the temp fell to a very very comfortable 71 degs. Ain't this weather screwed up this year?? HEEE HEEE....just love the slabs.

Ain't done a thing all day. Not that I had planed anything, but my God Billy Bob, ya gonna get "cast iron butt". Yesterday, my lady friend dropped by on her way to some hot springs south of here. She brung me a whole bunch of 2 and 3 inch styrofoam think'n I would build another solar oven. Not!!! The only way ya can use this crap is to build a completely air tight box so's the "cancer caus'n toxic fumes" can't get to your food. Then I got to think'n, I could make a bunch of them little whirly Florida flamingo thingys ya put in the flower gardens. But then I got to think'n, what ya need to do Billy Bob is get rid that junk and give Sadie Mae a haircut. More on my mind boggl'n ideas later. In the mean time, I'll save it just in case someone wants it....any takers???

Hang'n round da campfire

Yeah, I know. I didn't post nuttin yesterday. Yesterday was just another boring day at the slabs....same ol' temp every day, sunshine, very few clouds....etc. etc. etc.

Had us another campfire last night....burn'n iron wood or what ever they call it. One chunk lasts for hours but it don't make no flame. Hardest stuff ya ever see. The cut up pallets burn like wildfire.....poooof and they gone.

Gave Tennessee Ken his cocktail table last night. Boy Howdy was he tickled pink. Called his friend back in Tennessee just to tell them bout it. First thing he done was spill a drink on it....LOL.

Been think'n bout get'n ready for my journey to Yuma. All them fish down there are call'n my name. Weather there is almost the same as here so I gonna be nice and warm there too. Boy howdy, can't wait for that first fish in "da skillet". We gonna have a birthday party for one the campers on the 18th so I'll probably wait till after that to head 'em up...just in case that RiverHauler might wanna drop by and meet the Billy Bob. Also give that whippersnapper OGT one more chance to get out of Dodge (LA). But, then again, I may just pick up my stuff lay'n on the ground and be gone in a heartbeat. Old retired farts can do that ya know.

Cook'n in da sun

What can I say bout yesterday? Well first, I just want to know what happen to my bread what didn't rise like it supposed to. Did everything like what the recipe says, but all I got out the deal was a little chunk of what look like that bread we use to buy in Italy back in the 60's. But let me tell ya bout a good soup sop'n bread....Boy Howdy!!!

Speak'n of soup....made me up a small pot of chicken noodle tater vegetable tomato soup what turned out to be enough to feed 10 people. Put me up two bags in the freezer for "down the road".

Just sit'n round on "da porch" this morn'n think'n....all this sunshine and ya ain't cook'n nuttin. Well shoot, how bout a batch of biscuits? They in the oven get'n all purty. Last ones I made was like little round bricks for build'n round houses. These are gonna be better....I can tell.

Had a feller send me a link to a solar over builder guy. Ya gotta go take a gander at this contraption. 500#'s of romp'n stomp'n 450 deg solar oven. http://www.williamgbecker.com/MakeSolarOven.html

Guess I'll take a quick run to town in a bit for more water and pick me up a can of polyurethane to finish Tennessee Ken's cocktail table. Then all projects are done. Well, almost done...gotta finish the paint job on the solar over. Then a couple days to clean up my mess....Boy Howdy do Billy Bob know how to make a mess.

Back break'n work

Old Billy Bob ain't one them guys what sits around all day "do'n nuttin". Well...one time I did, but that were years ago when I had one them hangover thingys what ya get from drink'n too much beer.

Anyhows, first thing I done this morn'n was break out that mixer machine and brewed me up a batch of bread dough. By 11:30 that crap was still the same size when I put it in a bowl to rise. Oh what the hell, stick it in the solar over anyhows. Oh yeah, that gonna do the trick....Clouds. A whole sky full. Off to the propane oven in "da house". In the mean time whiles all that were go'n on, I started another back break'n project.....

Tennessee Kens cocktail table.After I got all that stuff done....run'n round the desert look'n for for sticks for the legs, drill'n leg holes, grind'n the legs to fit the holes, carv'n out his name and stain'n it, I fount out I don't have any polyurethane to finish it. Now what ya gonna do Billy Bob????

Sure is boring at the slabs. Same freak'n 75 degs every day, sunshine ('cept when ya wanna bake something), no wind and so quiet ya can hear the neighbors talk'n way over there. Bout two week or so, I'm gonna pull up stakes here and head off to Yuma....at least I won't be bored there fish'n every day.

Just pulled the bread out the oven....nope, didn't rise. What the hell did I do this time???
Oh well, it smells good.

Work'n on Sunday

See, I tole ya I'll be back. Ok, so it weren't yesterday. Got all involved with my project and done forgot everything, includ'n to eat lunch. Boy howdy were I hungry when it come supper time.

Here the new solar oven bout 80% finished. Look the same as the old one ya say??? Well yeah!!!When ya design something that work perfect, ya stick with the same design. If'n ya look real close, ya gonna notice that the oven has a winter position and a summer position. That 'cause the sun ain't always the same angle in the sky, buy ya already knew that....right? Can't wait to fire this baby up and cook me a loaf of "basketball" bread. Gonna bake in the food safe BBQ paint today.

Now, bout the water situation. Come find out, it weren't contaminated....well it could be from the factory. Lot a people says the the city water in Niland sucks and makes them sick. So's....I loaded up 14 gallon reverse osmosis water, but it sucks too. Then I got to think'n, my doctor tolds me that some my meds are gonna change my taste buds....and boy howdy have they ever changed. Was eat'n an orange and it tasted like an apple. Pork chop tasted like chicken. That ain't right!!!

After I get my other eye open I got to make another couple runs to town and get more water for my water tank....what I bleached and drained yesterday. Then it's off to work on the solar oven again. In the mean time....make some breakfast, sit on "da porch" sip'n a cup and do'n some think'n. Then I got a freak'n mess ya wouldn't believe to clean up. Tools and junk everywhere.

Ok....here the deal, old Billy Bob done went off to town, filled the gas tank in "that jeep", got me 14 gallon water....what I put in the tank. Then I work my fingers raw on the solar oven. Up to 315 degs with still one reflector to install. How bout that???

Now I gonna sit back with a big ol' somekind a sandwich and play me some golf. Too much work with no play causes sore muscles and migraine headaches and old Billy Bob don't do the headache thing.

Contaminated water???

Well shoot, it seems that old Billy Bob got a problem with the water supply. It tastes terrible, what make my coffee taste terrible, what gives me the squirts, what makes me think my water tank is contaminated. Here what I was gonna do today....put a cup of bleach in the tank and let it eat up all them little nasty tast'n critters swim'n round in there, but all the water is gone.....pooof....just like that. Run out.
So, here's the plan....go to town and bring back 14 gallon...put 1/4 cup bleach....let set for a couple hour.....drain....go back to town and bring back more water. What ya think???? Take 4 trips to town to do all that 'cause I only got 2 7 gallon water jugs.

Woke up early this morn'n, not 'cause I wanted to, but I had to "drain da radiator". And then Lug Nut was want'n out. So, what the hell, may as well stay up. Gonna be a beautiful day with a gob of sunshine. Supposed to get into the mid to upper 70's again (75 degs yesterday). That porch sit'n weather....sip'n a cup and think'n.

Yesterday was "polar plunge" day at the slabs. Naturally old Billy Bob didn't go. They was gonna throw me in whether I wanted to plunge or not. The polar plunge is into the canal what runs right over there bout 1/4 mile from "da house". I hear there was a "naked chick" went in.

Decided to wait another year to build my "snuggie" since winter is finally over. Ain't no need to be wear'n a blanket when it's 75 degs outside (52 degs right now). But, to replace that project, I got another. Old Tennessee Ken needs a cocktail table and old Billy Bob fount a big ol' chunk of 2x12 in the wood pile. Gonna put some tree limb legs on it, throw it in the campfire for a few minutes and walla....cocktail table.

Ok....I gots to get in gear and head to town for some water. Be back laters, so check back.

New Years campfire

No, No, and No. I had the .357 all loaded up with one them magnum thingys, but since I were the only one shoot'n off firecrackers, decided it best not to shoot the "cannon". Can you imagine that....thousands of people at the slabs and none had any fireworks? Sissys!!!

Campfire was a total success...burn up a whole pile of wood plus the left overs from the old solar oven. Boy howdy, you talk bout a fire....everyone was back'n up. That solar oven never been so hot.

That's all for today. Been lay'n back tak'n it easy. What more can I say???