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Thursday, April 25, 2013

Dumb moments

Boy howdy, yesterdays blog post musta had a bunch of political stuff in it.....or something like that. I think I only mentioned "God" one time, but not in a religious manner. I said "shit"....what should have been crap. "Dang Billy Bob, you got to get your "crap" together....people are read'n you". 
Ok, that was my rant for the day.

Well, what ya think bout this weather? I don't know bout you, but the old Billy Bob was miserable yesterday. The wind was blow'n an' it was cold outside......high of 60 degs. I went outside one time to get something out "that jeep". Holy shit....crap....cows, it's cold out here. I ain't got no shoes on an' this tee shirt don't cut the mustard. Heater run all day long. And it's snow'n somewhere up north.

I think I done mess up this new fangle Windows 8. Ain't had it but a month an' it's already lock'n up stuff. Ya see, I were do'n a little research on how to operate Windows 8 an' I start mak'n some changes. Figgered out how to bypass that dad burned apps page what pops up every time ya turn the computer. Updated Adobe Flash player 'cause it kept lock'n up. Then I turn off some gizmo setting so's that the touch pad don't open stuff just by look'n at it.....very very very sensitive. Just breath wrong on it an' stuff start pop'n up. No, sensitivity is not adjustable. Bill Gates, you suck!!!!

There's a possibility I will be swak'n golf balls Friday. The cold front is supposed to be gone an' warm temps are forecast. Of course, there will be wind.

A little bit about swak'n golf balls. Also called "a round of golf". It's not a matter of "chas'n a little white ball" all around the course, it takes a skill many folks just don't have. It takes hours of tedious training and concentration. If'n ya got your mind on a nice cold beer while you're stand'n in the tee box, you gonna hit the ball in the water....or in my case, hit a tree way the hell over there. Ya gotta think ahead to your next shot, like in a game of snooker or 8 ball. Have the ability to see into the future. Read the lay of the land. Golf is a game of strategy, concentration and skill. A little luck don't hurt neither. Your worst competitor in a round of golf is yourself. So don't be knock'n golf ball swak'n if'n ya don't know nuttin bout it.

Sometimes I let my mind wander back to when I was just a kid. Now that's a long time ago ya know. I like to write about my experiences an' adventures. Situations I got myself into. Some good, some dumb. If'n somebody ask me what my dumbest moment was, it would take me a week to answer. I done way too many dumb things to pick out just one.

Did I ever tell ya bout the time I jump off the roof of my shrimp'n boat? I were gonna take me a swim. That's all, just take a nice cool little swim. Problem.....we was in 4 foot of water an' there's mud down there. An' there probly sea monsters down there ya cain't see. Ya don't jump off'n a big ol' shrimp'n boat into 4 feet of water an' mud and expect to surrive. That's dumb....an' ya gonna get stuck in the mud scream'n "MOMS". Yeah I did that. Back in bout '69.

Did ya ever try to carry a sheet of plywood up a roof twenty feet off the ground? In wind. Boy howdy let me tell ya, you be fly'n like a eagle. Yeah, I did that too.....an' I was a 30 year old clear think'n adult. Land in a pile of scrap lumber....all scraped up and bruised....splinters, stuff like that. Dumb ya say? You bet. 

I don't rekon anybody else ever did nuttin dumb, but if'n ya did, here's your chance to tell bout it. Come on, don't be shy.....what was the dumbest moment in your life?

14 comments:

  1. lol mine dont compare ....love the blog :)

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    1. Oh come on Cindy, tell us. Ya know ya want to.

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  2. Gosh, I can't really remember doing anything dumb in my whole life.

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    1. Watch it Barney. You forget who you talk'n to.

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  3. My third marriage was the dumbest thing I ever did. I'm so mortified that I did it I don't often even mention I had a third marriage. How can an intelligent woman pick such a pile of shit to marry (I guess I should call him a pile of crap, but he was a pile of shit.)

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  4. So glad to see ya Gypsy. I ain't laugh this hard in bout a week.

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  5. As long as I never do anything intelligent, maybe no one will all the stupid things I do,

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  6. Dont tell nobody else BillyBob...but when I was younger and stupider I peed on a lectric fence.

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  7. I would love to share with you my dumbest moment, but you see...I suffer from CRS...for those that do not know what that is...Can't Remember Shit! or perhaps I should say Can't Remember Crap?

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  8. butterbean carpenterMay 5, 2013 at 4:37 PM

    Howdy #1BB,
    The dumbest thang I eva did was be bornded and evathang after that!! Fouteen womens and 32 little bitty babies later, I'm still an ol' dumb-b--t!!!! I hit a golf ball oncst 840 yards, WITH WITNESSES, too, also!!! Of course it went outa boundz a little bit and rooooooollllllled 600 yards of it, down a concrete street and around a tennis court; BUT I DANG SHORE DUN IT!!! Oncst I rode a Brahmer bull to a stand-still; NOW YOU DON'T JUMP OFFN A STANDIN' BRAHMER BULL; HE'LL SHORE ENUFF GITCHA IN THE REAR OF YORE BRITCHES !!! They cross-tied 2 horses to him and had to UNWIND my fangers from the rope, before I could dismount... THAT WUZ TH' LAST BULL I RODE TOO, ALSO; I give my riggin' to a kid standing there, pulled off my spurs and giv'em to him too, also!!! That wuz dumb too, also!!! I still rode bareback, so, I had to buy me some more spurs!!! Yeah, I think I qualify for the 'DUMB CLASS'!!!!

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