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Wednesday, April 24, 2013

That's a fox, not a dog

Boy howdy....let me tell ya.....spring in south Texas sucks. I had watched the weather forecast for yesterday and today. Said something bout night time lows in the 40's again. Right bout 2430 last night.....(military time for 12:30 am), it were still in the mid 70's outside. So's I went to bed with the winders and the door wide open. Blanket was in a heap on the floor.

Some time during the night, things changed. I waked up long bout 4am freez'n slap almost to death. That's what I'm talk'n bout....this ain't spring, it's still winter.

You think "that's" bad, take a look at this. Yesterday my stocks (ATT) was at a all time year high. I'm git'n rich (happy face). This morn'n they was down 6% (-$2.30). So much for git'n rich (sad face). This is not my idea of the start of a good day.

Talk bout get'n bent out of shape, the old Billy Bob is hurt'n all over  this morn'n from all them girlie chores I done yesterday. You know bout them back problems I got, but I step on a pork chop bone too...... what Sadie Mae left lay'n in the middle of the floor. You wouldn't think a pork chop bone would cause so much pain, but let me tell ya...... Have ya ever step on a Lego? I step on a sleep'n cats tail one time. You wouldn't think that would hurt neither, but I thought I done tangled with a mountain lion. Had bites an' scratches all over my feet an' legs where that cat worked me over. I've had a hard life with cats an' all.

Speak'n of bites an' scratches, did I ever tell ya bout the time.....me an' that ol' ugly dog was down along the banks of the creek. Yup, same ol' ugly dog on the farm what used to bite me. I would scream "MOMS" an' she would beat hell out that dog with a broom stik. Anyhows, that ol' ugly dog chase a fox into a hole up under some trees grow'n on the bank. Go right in that hole after that fox. An' don't come back out. All I hear is that dog a bark'n an rais'n all holy hell in there. I reaches up in that hole, feels around, an' grabs holt to that dogs tail....drag him slap out. But it weren't that dog. It were that fox. What proceeded to beat my ass. Bite the shit out me. I'm scream'n "MOMS" loud as I can to come get this fox off'n me. I finally let loose his tail an' he gone.....pooof, just like that. Did ya know "Moms" would put turpentine, alcohol an' iodine in bite wounds???  Hurt worster than any bite or scratches ya get just play'n round.

Well, I guess it's time to get back to "housework" I didn't do yesterday. I'm think'n long the same lines as "Sissy", I need a maid.

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3 comments:

  1. I believe I mentioned you getting a maid when you were at Rancho Abraham four or five stays back...

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  2. LMAO!!! your a hoot !! betcha you were a little hellion growin up :)

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  3. Actually, at my place a full squadron of maids and farmhands might be the needed remedy! I'm exhausted and a GLUTTON for punishment, having now bought into more work this week - strawberries, cabbage, Swiss chard and two more apple trees. I'm telling you, my brain is out of sync with the body.

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