Jetty currents an' sail'n

Dad gum that anonymous spamer. Sure do wish I knowed how to get rid of him. Ain't no way I'm gonna block my favorite anony commenters....they good people ya know. 


It was a beautiful sunny day. The winds was blow'n somewheres bout 15 mile a hour. I had just finished eat'n lunch at The University of Texas cafeteria. Somebody mentioned it was a good day for sail'n. I put on my best "sick" face an' approached the supervisor. "I'm sick boss, I need to go home....Oh I'm feel'n terrible".

I jump in my old VW bus an' drive directly to the UT marina where I park my little 22 foot sail'n boat. I had done made me up a story just in case the "boss" catched me an' say "what the hell you do'n, you're sick". My story would'a been, "I'm sail'n home....VW out of gas". But he never show up. I'm good to go. Sick an' all ya know.

If ya ever been to Port Aransas, you know where the UT marina is and you know where the end of the ship channel rock jettys is at. 

That's the Gulf of Mexico out there....that where I go'n....sick or not.

I motor out in the ship channel, look'n both left an' right for ship traffic. A good sailor is always cautious for oncoming traffic at major intersections. I grab holt to that rope what pulls the sail up to the top of the mast. Same one what got hung up on another adventurous sail'n trip not so long ago. I'm good to go, tiller in hand, I point the bow towards the wide expanses of the Gulf of Mexico. Yeee ha, we go'n a freak'n hunnert mile a hour.

Ok, don't be think'n everthing is fine an' that disaster don't await me around the next corner just 'cause I got off to a good start. I don't think I ever did anything in my entire life that something didn't go wrong or I broke something.

Ya see, here what happen.....some scientific data here, the moon controls the rising an fall'n of the tides in the Gulf of Mexico....same as it does everwheres else, but it don't in the bays. On this given day, the tide was low in the gulf when I set sail. That means there gonna be a outgo'n tidal current from the bays rush'n through the ship channel at an alarming rate.....in the exact position where I'm sail'n my little 22 foots sail'n boat. The current was flow'n somewheres bout a hunnert mile a hour I would say. That why I were go'n so freak'n fast.

Hold on, I ain't quite done yet. The closer I get to the end of the jetties, the higher the waves (swells) were forming. They bout 4 foots now an' I'm get'n a little bit skeered. An' I still got a quarter mile to get to calmer waters out in the gulf. If'n a big ol' ship happens along bout now, I'm a roasted marshmallow.

Now we are in 5 an' 6 foot swells, it get'n worser. I'm think'n turn this sucker round an' go home. I'm sick ya know.....an' a tad on the skeered side. Life jacket,,,,where the hell is my life jacket?

Before I set sail, I failed to consider that I had to "come back" against the wind to the UT marina after a afternoon of sail'n all over the Gulf of Mexico. If'n ya ever sailed before, ya know what to do when you sail'n against the wind. Ya tack that sail'n boat....a zig zag course....kind of like a drunk sailor on steroids. That's easy to do when you sail'n in slick water (no freak'n 5 foots swells), but hard as hell against a hunnert mile a hour current an' the wind on your nose (that's the front of a boat ya know...the bow). "Fire up that little outboard kicker motor Billy Bob". That what I did. An' I lower the main sail 'cause all it do'n is flap'n in the wind break'n stuff. Up an' down we go in them big ol' swells....skeer hell out me. Motor come'n slap out the water with every swell we hit. Scream'n to high heaven like a banshee.....10,000 rpms. Then it plunge into the water again with a splash/crash/boom.....jump slap off the back of the boat. I'm hold'n a scream'n motor in one hand an' the the tiller (steer'n wheel) in the other. OH SHIT.....I'm in some kind of deep trouble now. I'm skeered ya know.

I finally get that damn scream'n motor turn off. Put it back on the back (stern) of the boat an' I fire that sucker back up. Shoot, that weren't so bad. Shove my white capt'ns hat back on my head...I sit back an' relax. Check my drawers too. I'm headed back to the marina.....sea turtles pass me up.

As I slowly (ever so slowly) pass the UT science lab pier, I hears the entire maintenance crew hang'n over the rail'ns laugh'n an' cheer'n me on. "Boss" supervisor giv'n me one them looks. Boy howdy, I got me some splain'n to do tomorrow morn'n.

Would anybody like to go sail'n with the old Billy Bob? I'm experienced ya know