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Sunday, June 9, 2013

Jetty currents an' sail'n

Dad gum that anonymous spamer. Sure do wish I knowed how to get rid of him. Ain't no way I'm gonna block my favorite anony commenters....they good people ya know. 


It was a beautiful sunny day. The winds was blow'n somewheres bout 15 mile a hour. I had just finished eat'n lunch at The University of Texas cafeteria. Somebody mentioned it was a good day for sail'n. I put on my best "sick" face an' approached the supervisor. "I'm sick boss, I need to go home....Oh I'm feel'n terrible".

I jump in my old VW bus an' drive directly to the UT marina where I park my little 22 foot sail'n boat. I had done made me up a story just in case the "boss" catched me an' say "what the hell you do'n, you're sick". My story would'a been, "I'm sail'n home....VW out of gas". But he never show up. I'm good to go. Sick an' all ya know.

If ya ever been to Port Aransas, you know where the UT marina is and you know where the end of the ship channel rock jettys is at. 
That's the Gulf of Mexico out there....that where I go'n....sick or not.

I motor out in the ship channel, look'n both left an' right for ship traffic. A good sailor is always cautious for oncoming traffic at major intersections. I grab holt to that rope what pulls the sail up to the top of the mast. Same one what got hung up on another adventurous sail'n trip not so long ago. I'm good to go, tiller in hand, I point the bow towards the wide expanses of the Gulf of Mexico. Yeee ha, we go'n a freak'n hunnert mile a hour.

Ok, don't be think'n everthing is fine an' that disaster don't await me around the next corner just 'cause I got off to a good start. I don't think I ever did anything in my entire life that something didn't go wrong or I broke something.

Ya see, here what happen.....some scientific data here, the moon controls the rising an fall'n of the tides in the Gulf of Mexico....same as it does everwheres else, but it don't in the bays. On this given day, the tide was low in the gulf when I set sail. That means there gonna be a outgo'n tidal current from the bays rush'n through the ship channel at an alarming rate.....in the exact position where I'm sail'n my little 22 foots sail'n boat. The current was flow'n somewheres bout a hunnert mile a hour I would say. That why I were go'n so freak'n fast.

Hold on, I ain't quite done yet. The closer I get to the end of the jetties, the higher the waves (swells) were forming. They bout 4 foots now an' I'm get'n a little bit skeered. An' I still got a quarter mile to get to calmer waters out in the gulf. If'n a big ol' ship happens along bout now, I'm a roasted marshmallow.

Now we are in 5 an' 6 foot swells, it get'n worser. I'm think'n turn this sucker round an' go home. I'm sick ya know.....an' a tad on the skeered side. Life jacket,,,,where the hell is my life jacket?

Before I set sail, I failed to consider that I had to "come back" against the wind to the UT marina after a afternoon of sail'n all over the Gulf of Mexico. If'n ya ever sailed before, ya know what to do when you sail'n against the wind. Ya tack that sail'n boat....a zig zag course....kind of like a drunk sailor on steroids. That's easy to do when you sail'n in slick water (no freak'n 5 foots swells), but hard as hell against a hunnert mile a hour current an' the wind on your nose (that's the front of a boat ya know...the bow). "Fire up that little outboard kicker motor Billy Bob". That what I did. An' I lower the main sail 'cause all it do'n is flap'n in the wind break'n stuff. Up an' down we go in them big ol' swells....skeer hell out me. Motor come'n slap out the water with every swell we hit. Scream'n to high heaven like a banshee.....10,000 rpms. Then it plunge into the water again with a splash/crash/boom.....jump slap off the back of the boat. I'm hold'n a scream'n motor in one hand an' the the tiller (steer'n wheel) in the other. OH SHIT.....I'm in some kind of deep trouble now. I'm skeered ya know.

I finally get that damn scream'n motor turn off. Put it back on the back (stern) of the boat an' I fire that sucker back up. Shoot, that weren't so bad. Shove my white capt'ns hat back on my head...I sit back an' relax. Check my drawers too. I'm headed back to the marina.....sea turtles pass me up.

As I slowly (ever so slowly) pass the UT science lab pier, I hears the entire maintenance crew hang'n over the rail'ns laugh'n an' cheer'n me on. "Boss" supervisor giv'n me one them looks. Boy howdy, I got me some splain'n to do tomorrow morn'n.

Would anybody like to go sail'n with the old Billy Bob? I'm experienced ya know

16 comments:

  1. With all respect and awe of your sailin' experience I'd have to decline. Back when I was young and single I liked sailing. Even took a navigation course and a couple of other courses in small boat handling. Now I'm afraid to go near the water - hell, I don't even swim any more.

    I wanna hear what the boss said to you.

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    1. With your navigation skills an' my sail'n skills, I'm think'n we could jump in a little sail'n boat an' go to the Caribbean. Stop off at some them little islands an' have a good ol' time. But then again, one of us is probly gonna drown along the way. Ya got any other ideas????

      LOL.....you sure you wanna hear what the boss say to me? In short, he threaten me. Make me take vacation time instead of sick time. I needed that vacation time for a trip to Brazil.

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    3. Well you've given me fair warning to wear a life jacket. But I don't want you to drown because I'd never get the boat back to shore! Besides, I wouldn't want you to drown cuz I likes ya.

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  2. Good afternoon, BB. The exploits of that modern day swashbuckler, "Barnacle Bill" are engraved on the web. Folks far into in the future, will enjoy reading them, as well as "Travels". Have a good day!

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    1. Ya got me do'n some think'n now RB. How did ya know I used to go by Barnacle Bill???

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    2. Think'n ..... I began reading your blog a while back, after reading three or four posts, I thought "this guy knows how to tell a story".. So I started at the very 1st one, now somewhere in this blog, you mentioned the Barnacle Bill days and I have now read all your posts and dang sure am staying current! Thanks for another grin for the day. Salute you!

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  3. Dang BB, that would scare most people so bad that they wouldn't go near the water for a month, and that is a long time to go between a bath or shower (grin).

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    1. Sail'n boats will scare ya Dizzy. It ain't like ya got a 300 hp engine to get out of trouble with....or out run a hurricane.
      There was this guy an' his wife buy a 50 foots $300,000 sail'n boat. Took it out for a maiden cruise.....they ain't never sail a big boat before. They run slap into a storm. A bad storm. When the finally got back to land, that man step off'n that sail'n boat and never set foot on it again. Now that's what ya call skeered.

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  4. Conjuring pictures from your words had me holding my breath; very afraid of drowning, can't swim. Did learn to float though in my later years. Thrilled me. Too many tales in the family of near demises with water. Funny how memories stick for life and make some of us big old cowards/chickens.

    Those damn spammers. Delete 'em when they use us to promote their site. How about 30 a day? Those filthy ones is what gets me raring mad. Knock on wood, I fixed the problem; but now I get no comments, spam or otherwise! Google ain't on the ball half the time! Email spam makes my eyeballs glow! Which reminds me: One of my dogs eyes glow solid red in the dark; what for, I ponder; a Yorkie that barks all night long to boot. She better watch it; perfect size for sub sandwich and Choco loves subs. He's a dog too. Hmmp, I'm plumb weary with dogs...and spam...and google...and gubment idjits.

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    1. I'm think'n that's what makes my blogs so long....install'n little pictures in words.
      I ain't much of a swimmer neither. I suppose I could float around long enough for somebody to find me...in a life jacket of course.
      I been really fortunate with blogger catch'n most of the spam. How this one guy gets around it....I cain't figger it out. Sometimes only one or two on blogger....yahoo mail catches bout a hunnert a day. Plus a few every day I mark as spam.

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  5. In answer to your question...NO, Billy Bob I would not go sailing with you!

    You have a gift for telling a story. I could picture it all happening in my head...even on land and sitting in my computer chair...it was scary...

    Like your California cousin told you at a relative's funeral...I am surprised you are still alive!

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    1. Oh come on MsB. I promise you won't fall overboard. But if'n ya do, you're on your own.

      Surprised you remember stuff like that.

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  6. I'd go sail'n with ya Billy Bob. I need some excitement in my life....yawn.

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  7. I'd go sail'n with you too, BB. Never a dull moment, I'm sure.
    Missed your blog over the weekend, but wanted to comment that one reason I don't comment too often on yours and other blogs is they don't like anonymous comments, and I don't know any other way to do it. However, I enjoy every one of your stories!!
    Cheryle in NC

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  8. BB,
    This link will explain how to get rid of that spammer, IF you know his IP address. It seems a bit complicated but you can get rid of him - so they claim. It may be worth the trouble just to tick him off!

    http://www.mybloggerlab.com/2012/06/how-to-block-ip-address-on-blogspot.html

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