"Yo Billy Bob, have you lost yer mind or what"?
Ya see, it's like this....I got me a brand spank'n new Weber Q bbq grill an' I ain't got no place to tote it from one camp to another. Well I do, but I'm gonna have to do some "switch a roo". The Weber Q ain't a one hand carry grill, it takes two strong hands. Sucker weigh bout a hunnert pound. "Put it in "that jeep" Billy Bob". Put it in "that jeep"??? Have ya look at the inside "that jeep" lately? I got stuff in there.
See what I talk'n bout....stuff.
Well, I start unload'n all that "stuff" yesterday. Got it all lay'n in a neat pile out in the yard. Something gotta go. I'm sweat'n....hot like a sum-a-gun. When I go to bed last night, all that "stuff" was still lay'n out there in the yard.
From "da house" to the old VW bus is right bout a hunnert yards. I got bout a hunndert pounds of "stuff" I gonna put in there to store it for a while. Until I either sell it, throw it in a dumpster or give it away. That's the way I do things. Well, some things I keep. I got stuff in that VW bus what been in there for over ten years. Anyhows, I'm gonna load up the back "that jeep" with stuff I don't need in "da house". Drive that hunnert yards and unload it. Then I can put all that suff what is lay'n out in the yard back in "that jeep". That make sense??? It do to me.
Bout 2:30, I drags a steak out the freezer. My god, that steak look terrible. Look like it been in there for a year. We gonna do a test burn on that steak for supper. I fires up the Weber with the push of a button. Hot damn, we gonna be cook'n now. It got a cast iron grill grate in it, so I got to heat it up a bit. Grill marks ya know. Throws that ugly look'n steak on there an'.....sizzle sizzle.....it be smok'n. Bout 4 minute one side an' three minute the other, that sucker should be med rare.
Well, it weren't. That sucker was full blown well done. What I don't like. Good thing this was a test fire an' not a family cook out. When I take my first bite that steak, what taste like chicken, I done know I did something wrong. Ain't nobody eat a well done steak. Gotta have some blood an' juices....what there weren't none. Then I got to think'n bout the steak, not the method of grill'n. An item such as a steak, should never make it to the freezer an' sit there for months wait'n to be cooked. I done this before so I should have known better than to try to eat it. Sadie Mae got her share an' I force the rest down.
I can see right now, I got to make me some modifications to the new grill. Not that there's anything wrong with it like it is. In fact, it's perfect. But, I do my grill'n sit'n on my ass in a easy chair with a cup of coffee close at hand. "Cut the freak'n legs off'n the stand Billy Bob". That what I got in mind, just not today.
Boy howdy I sure do got the golf ball swak'n bug.
I go out in the yard yesterday an' swak me some golf balls across the road into that empty mesquite forest over there. Try out my brand spank'n new driver. BA-BAMMM, I swak a ball a hunnert mile. Four times in a row I hit them golf'n balls straight like a arrow. "Bet ya a dollar Billy Bob, ya cain't do that at the golf course". I can if'n I want to. You just watch, right down the middle the fareway. Yeee haw,,,,BA-BAMMM. I'm think'n tomorrow morn'n, if'n it ain't too hot an' the humidity is low enough, I'm mosey on up to the golf course an' swak a few.
As for what I'm gonna do today, I rekon move some stuff to the storage shed....that old VW bus.
Speak'n of VW bus, I wonder how much that sucker weigh? Bound to be less weightly than "that jeep". I could go camp'n in places a Jeep cain't go. It's a Westfalia camper van.
Look just like this one....only not so pretty like this'un. A toad maybe????
Ya see, it's like this....I got me a brand spank'n new Weber Q bbq grill an' I ain't got no place to tote it from one camp to another. Well I do, but I'm gonna have to do some "switch a roo". The Weber Q ain't a one hand carry grill, it takes two strong hands. Sucker weigh bout a hunnert pound. "Put it in "that jeep" Billy Bob". Put it in "that jeep"??? Have ya look at the inside "that jeep" lately? I got stuff in there.
Well, I start unload'n all that "stuff" yesterday. Got it all lay'n in a neat pile out in the yard. Something gotta go. I'm sweat'n....hot like a sum-a-gun. When I go to bed last night, all that "stuff" was still lay'n out there in the yard.
From "da house" to the old VW bus is right bout a hunnert yards. I got bout a hunndert pounds of "stuff" I gonna put in there to store it for a while. Until I either sell it, throw it in a dumpster or give it away. That's the way I do things. Well, some things I keep. I got stuff in that VW bus what been in there for over ten years. Anyhows, I'm gonna load up the back "that jeep" with stuff I don't need in "da house". Drive that hunnert yards and unload it. Then I can put all that suff what is lay'n out in the yard back in "that jeep". That make sense??? It do to me.
Bout 2:30, I drags a steak out the freezer. My god, that steak look terrible. Look like it been in there for a year. We gonna do a test burn on that steak for supper. I fires up the Weber with the push of a button. Hot damn, we gonna be cook'n now. It got a cast iron grill grate in it, so I got to heat it up a bit. Grill marks ya know. Throws that ugly look'n steak on there an'.....sizzle sizzle.....it be smok'n. Bout 4 minute one side an' three minute the other, that sucker should be med rare.
I can see right now, I got to make me some modifications to the new grill. Not that there's anything wrong with it like it is. In fact, it's perfect. But, I do my grill'n sit'n on my ass in a easy chair with a cup of coffee close at hand. "Cut the freak'n legs off'n the stand Billy Bob". That what I got in mind, just not today.
Boy howdy I sure do got the golf ball swak'n bug.
I go out in the yard yesterday an' swak me some golf balls across the road into that empty mesquite forest over there. Try out my brand spank'n new driver. BA-BAMMM, I swak a ball a hunnert mile. Four times in a row I hit them golf'n balls straight like a arrow. "Bet ya a dollar Billy Bob, ya cain't do that at the golf course". I can if'n I want to. You just watch, right down the middle the fareway. Yeee haw,,,,BA-BAMMM. I'm think'n tomorrow morn'n, if'n it ain't too hot an' the humidity is low enough, I'm mosey on up to the golf course an' swak a few.
As for what I'm gonna do today, I rekon move some stuff to the storage shed....that old VW bus.
Speak'n of VW bus, I wonder how much that sucker weigh? Bound to be less weightly than "that jeep". I could go camp'n in places a Jeep cain't go. It's a Westfalia camper van.
Hmmm. that there steak.
ReplyDeleteI always thaw completely to room temperature. Get grill good and hot, then open lid turn to medium low, spray a bit of oil ( use Pam with olive oil) on both side of steak, and a few spices then drop on the gril close lid maybe 2 minutes then flip her over maybe 2 more.
But then if ya got freezer burn thats not to good, will make it tough.
I don't have a stand (takes too much room) either a picnic table or small folding table I use.
Practice a bit it will get betterer
That Westfalia would be lots fun too, think it weighs about 4500 lbs.
That ain't the first steak I ever screw up.....but I ain't gonna put no blame on the old Billy Bob's cook'n skills. I like a bit of "char", so's I crank it up to 500 degs. I bet ya a dollar I don't be buy'n no more steaks by the dozen.
DeleteHoly crap....4500 pounds? That too much for "Sally da house" to tote.
Aha! Now I see where you keep your stash of those old fashioned, best there is, webbed lawn chairs!
ReplyDeleteI wish I had a Westfalia van that ran good. What kind of modifications have you made to it?
I'd say get out on the golf course while you're feeling confident.
Them chairs you put the spy on, I picked up at Academy last year. $15 each. But guess what, Walmart has some too....probly cheaper made, for $9.97 each. See them the other day when I pick up the Weber grill.
Deletehey, the steak looked good, if you clean the van out Mandi and would come out and get it. that would be a prefect project for her and I. So, going cut the legs down on that their new grill? known you, your going to. well have funny today and they cool.
ReplyDeleteMandi ain't never gonna put her fingers on that VW. First thing she would do is paint it "pink". An' you know what I think bout pink.
DeleteHowdy #1 BB,
ReplyDeleteHow'd you like th' rant I put on ya the other day, hah?? YEEHAWWW!!!!! Well, I'm agonna get ya again about 'that jeep'!!!! If'n ya didn't PILE STUFF IN THERE,LIKE JOYCE DOES(I can't break her of the habit), but place and stack it 'neatly', IT DON'T TAKE UP SO MUCH ROOM!!! How'd ya ever become a Southern Engineer doing stuff like that?? What's wrong with the Westphalia?? That's NOT a storage shed, THAT'S AN RV, the FIRST MOTORHOME, made in Germany and STILL MADE for RVing..... As for golf-ball swakin', you'd better get ready, cause the OFM has got him a BIG BERTHA driver that knocks'em 500 yards RIGHT DOWN THE BEACH !!!! I bet Sadie Mae liked that ol' burnt-up steak; SHE'S GOT TEETH!!!! GO SWAK A GOLF-BALL!!!
Howdy bean. The ways I look at things, it don't make no matter how ya stack stuff up....as long as ya remember where stuff is at in the stack. Ben do that all my life....ain't chang'n nuttin now.
DeleteI got me 2 of them German engineered RV's. This one I drove in, the other I towed in. I rekon I could get 'em both run'n again, but they sure make good storage sheds.
I got teeth too Bean. I can bite slap through a 16 penny nail if'n I was want'n to. I don't eat none them "sissy" steaks what cut with a fork an' melt in yer mouth. Steak is fer chew'n.
Howdy young feller,
DeleteIf'n you'd clean them Westphalias out you could probably rent'em to some German tourists for $$$$.
They really like'em because they can talk their language.. In Germany they don't have these big RVs
like 'da house' or my GB and they do love to travel... You'd make enuff to buy another shippin' container!!! hee hee Why don't you bar-b-q 'that goat' and get rid of him.. Oh I just thought 'him' NO
THANKS, whew old goat meat STINKS and is plumb non-eatable!!!! Well, Joyce has learned how to fix my steaks so they're tender enuff for me to swaller(no chewin') put it in the blender on chomp for a minute... UMMMM GOOD EATIN' !!!! If you come up be sure and bring th' Weber!!!!
Hope you get to swak a golf ball today, even if it's just across th' road!!!!
I sure do like the looks of that van! Bet I could do me some camping with it!
ReplyDeleteSteak looks pretty good too!
That just a pic I fount on the internet. Mine don't look nuttin like that with all the rust, mildew, peel'n paint...stuff like that. I don't even know if'n the refrig still work.
DeleteI'm think'n ya could do some camp'n in a tent. Think'n they still sell 'em at Walmart. Ya need to git out the house Jim, ya gonna turn into a piece of furniture.
My '85 Westy weighted between 4800 & 5300 lbs on the scales. It was too much weight for my RV on the hills so I sold it...
ReplyDeleteWay too much weight for me. Now if'n I had me a big ol' diesel pusher, I might give it some thought. Don't see many VW campers on the road no more. Shoot, I would be a celebrity ride'n round town in one them things.
Delete"Yo Billy Bob, git this crazy idea out yer mind". "That VW bus ain't nuttin but junk....need a paint job, got 4 flat tires, motor is broke, that gas in the fuel tank is 10 year old.....it's junk Billy Bob"....set it on fire".
ReplyDeleteI thougt that was the way all vehicles should look inside.
ReplyDeleteI know that picture is not of your actual van...but if you want yourself a project...tinkering with that is as good as any.
ReplyDeleteI belong to a van dwellers forum and people would pay good MONEY for a van like yours and if you spruce it up a bit you can command high $$$$ for it.
Regrettably my van which is just a regular 1991 Dodge Ram 150, now can only serve as a storage container :(