RV'n ups an' downs

Sometimes I have to sit back an' re-think what my mind is think'n.

Yesterday I was think'n bout buy'n a brand spank'n new bicycle. I even posted a pic of it. Even though it's a perfect bicycle for somebody what has lower back issues an' can't breath half the time, I've given this thought some re-hashing. Cost is the first hashing....$1200. Somebody gonna steal it off the back of "that jeep". But most important....will the old Billy Bob ride the damn thing?
You can click this link for more information. Mariner 7 Electric Bike.

I've pretty much give up on most of my hobbies that involve strenuous activity. There's only two left. Golf and fishing. That's all I got left an' that sucks.

With the weather warm'n up all over the country, I suppose I could be try'n to figger out where I might want to go. Started look'n at a few possibilities online yesterday. Got sleepy an' had to take a nap.

I ain't do'n so good as a wanderlust traveler this year. I could just fire this big sucker up an' go, but as most RV'ers know, that seldom works out. Destination means a lot. What happens between here and there is what makes the trip worthwhile. At present I have no destination in mind.

I been ask a few times if'n it's expensive to live full time in a RV. Well, yeah it is....an' yeah it ain't. Gas prices ain't got a thing to do with it....just in case ya want to know. The average full time RV'er travels bout 5000 miles a year, so gasoline (fuel costs) is probly  bout the same as you would pay for property taxes in a "medium income" stick house. Where ya camp has everything to do with it.

Most RV parks and RV resorts charge as much or more than your typical stick house payments. Destination is a determining factor. Take for instance if'n ya wanted to go to Disney World in Florida. Ya might as well park the RV, get ya some plane tickets an' fly to Florida. Rent a condo an' a rental car. But, if'n ya go the other way.....west, an' stay your ass out of California, you can live full time much cheaper in a RV.  Remember, ya can "boondock" a RV, but ya cain't a stick house.

Maintenance an' upkeep on a RV is way less expensive that if'n ya live in a stick house. Lawn mowers, call the plumber, new wash machines an' dryers, the roof leaks, paint peel'n, trash pick up, utility bills....you know what I'm talk'n bout....stick houses is expensive. Problem is though, RV's depreciate while a stick house will appreciate. A hunnert thousand dollar stick house will be worth the same or more in 10 years. A hunnert thousand dollar RV will be worth bout 1/4 what ya paid for it in 10 years. RV's are NOT a investment opportunity.

Ok, I'm slap out of blog material. Nuttin excit'n in Billy Bob's life. See ya laters..... 

Update....LOLOLOLOL....Hahahaha....golf...A new bike???....maybe

Afternoon update:
"Hahahahaha....LOLOLOLOL....Billy Bob hit a golf'n ball like a gurl".

I ain't never gonna wear shoes again for the rest of my life. The last thing I remembered before depart'n to the golf course was that I said I would never, for as long as I live, wear sandals to the golf course again. So I put on a pair of oversize walk'n shoes....or something like that. By the 8th hole, my right foot done broke down. Fell like I was a "club foot" play'n golf.

But that ain't the reason I ended up with such a terrible score. I was swak'n the ball in the fareways just fine. Get'n the second short right up there close to the green. Then I fall slap apart. I can't "chip" worth a poop today. Either 40 feet short of the cup, slap over the whole green or on the green an' roll back off. Got me a whole bunch of double bogies today. 48 front nine....49 back nine. 

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So what do you do on a beautiful, cloudless, windless day when the temp is 82 degs at 9:30 am. Well, let me tell ya what most people would do. They would grab holt of their golf clubs an' head for the golf course. Oh wait, most people don't like golf.

Have ya ever have something what make ya all excitis an' ya wanna talk about it from the time ya get up till ya go back to bed? I don't know bout wimmins, but men have hobbies, play sports an' stuff like that. We spend a lot of money on our hobbies and sports events. So naturally, we got to talk bout them. That's the way it is for me and golf. I'm gonna talk bout it.

I feel the same way bout fish'n too, but it's get'n harder for me to go fish'n than it was a few years ago. In fact, it's turn into "work". In order to catch a fish, ya gotta fish where the fish live an' hang out. That takes a boat in most cases. Unless ya want to "work" hard at fish'n. Like chop'n down trees an' brush just to get to a fish'n hole. Carry all your fish'n gear for bout a mile or so. Then have to go back to the car an' find your fish pole.

But I got a boat. Trouble named it the "billy boat"....what is a good name. But the "billy boat" is "work". Ya got to unload it out the back of "that jeep". Unroll it an' blow that sucker up.....like a balloon. They ya got to put all the "stuff" in it....seat, motor mount, troll'n motor, battery, fish'n tackle an' fish poles. If'n ya ain't parked close to the water, ya gotta tote all that stuff. That's "work". So ya see why the old Billy Bob ain't been do'n no fish'n.

I been feel'n pretty good so I won't be whin'n bout nuttin today. But look out if'n I have a hard day at the golf course. Just giv'n ya advance warn'n.  

I fount me a new bicycle. Just the thing for somebody like me what cain't ride a regular bicycle. Easy to ride an' it don't weigh much.....made out of aircraft aluminum (44 pounds).

 Now I ain't say'n I'll be the owner of this bad boy, but I'm think'n I could ride this all day long an' never get tired.....or until the battery runs out of go juice an' then have to peddle the sucker back home. But, as you can plainly see, it would have to be modified. It's a single speed. Modification would be to convert it to a 7 speed. Put me a basket on the front for Sadie Mae. Right !!! Like Sadie Mae is gonna ride in a basket. She don't even like rid'n in the "bubba boat". Crazy dawg!!!

I ain't believ'n it. I got a sink full of dirty dishes again. Ya see, I clean out the refrigerator. Throw all that "old" food out. Did ya know goats will eat cherry chocolate cake?

Ok, I got things to do....git ready for golf ball swak'n. Laters.

Remember'n dig'n dirt

I got me a little 10 year old grand niece who keeps bug'n me all day long yesterday. She grabs holt to the broom an' sweeps the floor. Not once, but bout a dozen times. Then she wants to finish wash'n the dishes, picks up stuff lay'n on the floor, puts groceries away....all kinds of stuff what is just fine with me like it is.  Then she sweeps the floor again. Sure do wish I could find me a little girl like that bout 35 or 60 year old.

Yesterday I was sit'n here look'n at the "billy bike" sit'n out there in the yard. Weeds grow'n up all around it, tires rotting, paint fading....rust....stuff like that. I ain't rode that bike ya know. Ya see, I'm a sucker for buy'n stuff intended for younger an' "physical specimen" people. Then I just sit back sip'n up a cup look'n at the damn thing. But anyhows, and besides the point, I jump up on that thing yesterday even'n, give them peddles a pump an' ride all the ways to the gate....100 feet. That's bout all I have to say bout that.....I jump right back off an' park it. I got to do something bout that bicycle.

Had us a pretty good rain last night. It were suppose to be a severe thunderstorm, but that didn't happen. It just rained. Warnings on the TV for hours. Hope the golf course is dry by Monday.

A few years ago, I was a prospector. I would go out early in the morn'n an' dig up a bunch of dirt an' sand, shovel it into my homemade "gold machine" an' get me some gold. That's all I would talk about....dig'n dirt I called it. Well, I cain't dig dirt no more, so I don't talk bout it no more. Have ya ever heard bout get'n bit by the "gold bug". Gold fever is what they call it. That's what happens when ya see your first glimmer of gold in your pan. Ya get bit right then. Ya don't never lose thoughts of that excit'n moment. Dang, sure do wish I could still dig me some dirt.

Old 1894 gold mines. Randsburg, Ca. 2004

The "gold machine" in operation.Red Mountain, Ca. 2005
Designed and constructed by Billy Bob Mining Equipment Inc.

Now I ain't say'n that I struck it rich or nuttin like that, but with gold prices what they are today, I got bout $300 in a little bottle somewheres back there in the bedroom. So, if'n you are still young enough to dig a ton of dirt, gold prospect'n is a great hobby. I knowed one prospector what would dig dirt all day long an' take home bout $10 or $12 worth of fine 92% gold. That don't even cover the cost of the beer he drinked. I don't drink beer, so my gold was all profit....after expenses ($20 a day). 

As you can tell, I ain't got a damn thing to talk bout today. Sooooo....I'm out of here. Got things to do ya know.

Updated post....Dog Gone....poof, just like that...12 gauge

Now I'm really pissed. Our wonderful neighbor just shot an' kill deader 'an a doornail a old ugly dog. Ya see, these neighbors has got themselves a dog chained up in their yard what I ain't never see feed the poor thing or nuttin like that. This old ugly dog comes to visit almost every day....an' they play dog games. They was best buddy's.

Also, my grand nephew an niece was in the yard play'n not 50 feet from where this deadly deed occurred. An' that "damn goat" was over there too.

 

 

Sorry for the gruesome photo, but the old Billy Bob don't like that shit.

It's events like that gives me the "willies" bout "some" people own'n guns. I'm not against any intellegent person to own a gun, but these people don't deserve a gun or a dog for that matter. Grrrrrrrrr.....I'm pissed.

Ok, that trip to HEB like to done me in. By the time I got all my bags of groceries loaded in "that jeep", I was wored slap out. Then, by the time I unloaded all them groceries at "da house", I was wored slap out on top of wored slap out. First off my foot went out.....old Arthur ya know, an' then my back done give out on me. Rekon maybe I need to quit eat'n so's I don't have to go through this no more??? Oh wait....if'n I give up shop'n, that means I got to give up COFFEE. Ain't no way I'm gonna do that.

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Ok, so I'm late to make a post. Well, I got me a very good reason....I didn't get out of bed till 9:30....so what ya got to say bout that? I don't rekon it really matters what time I get up, I ain't gonna do nuttin anyhows. Although....I got plenty to do. Groceries, laundry, finish the dishes, sweep the damn floor again....freak'n dog hair, oil a a/c motor......

Oh, that damn goat come run'n up the steps yesterday, slide across the floor an' try to climb his ass up on the couch. Sadie Mae just sit there an' don't say nuttin. Have ya ever try to get a big ol' goat out your house? I grab holt to that goat an' drag him to the door. He step on my feet a couple times in the process.....what don't feel good. Finally out the door an' down the steps, that goat just stand there look'n at me like...."what the hell ya do that for"? Goats are cool.

I fared pretty good last night after that game of golf yesterday. Never wake up one time with them dreaded leg cramps. Maybe exercise IS good for ya after all. Even though I ride my ass around the course in a golf cart, that don't mean I ain't get'n no exercise. The average walk'n distance on each hole is right at 50 yards. Calculate that out to 2700 feet of walk'n in 18 holes. Damn, that's over half a mile. I need to play more golf.

For those that hate read'n bout technical stuff, let me tell ya bout Windows 8. Boy howdy, I don't know what got into Bill Gates mind when he OK'ed this piece of crap, but I think it sucks. I was able to get the damn thing to boot up to the desktop, bypass'n all them apps what I don't know the first thing about. At that point, I figgered I would be happy. Wrong!!! It seems that anything that has the slightest relationship with Adobe Flash, is gonna lock up tighter than a drum (Adobe Flash is a program that lets ya watch videos through your browser....Firefox or what ever.). Most of the news sites post videos, rather ya want to watch 'em or not. An ya cain't turn 'em off neither until the *advertizing....big bucks....ya know* is finished. Then everthing locks up. Won't do nuttin. Ya cain't even close the browser. It just sit there staring ya in the face....do'n nuttin.
"Dang Billy Bob, what brung all that on"? Computer lock up, that's what.

As much as I hate to go shop'n at the Sinton HEB, I rekon I'm gonna have to. I been want'n some BLT's an' I ain't got no bacon, my bread is stale, the milk is sour, my maters are all shrivel up....I want a big ol' BLT.
Speak'n of BLTs, have ya ever make one with a over medium rare egg on it. You know, the yoke run down your chin, get on your clean shirt an' stuff when ya bite it? Now that's what I'm talk'n bout.
Speak'n of eggs, my eggs is over a month old. Hope the hell they don't hatch out an' be a bunch of little chicken puppys run'n round in the frige. 

"Dang Billy Bob, hit the publish button before folks think ya done lost it".

Oh wait, did I ever tell ya bout the time.....me an' first mate went fish'n.......

Updated....Tough decision for a Friday

I went to bed early last night (11:30) think'n I would wake up early this morn'n and have plenty of time to prepare myself for a round of golf ball swak'n. I waked up at 9:20. Brewed up a pot and start read'n the daily blogs. Then the news. Now it's 11:30. I ain't got no shoes on yet, my hair is a total disaster, Sadie Mae won't come back in "da house"....an' I really don't give a flip. Ya see, yesterday, my back start feel'n a lot better. So I go outside an' "practice" hit'n some golf balls into the neighbors yard. No, I weren't try'n to hit them in the neighbors yard....they just went that way. Then the great big chained up dog wouldn't let me in the yard to retrieve them. I think he ate them 'cause they was gone this morn'n.

But anyhows, it's get'n too windy to be play'n golf. Well maybe it is. I might just go anyways.

Yup, got most of the dishes done yesterday. Sweeped the floor again. Dad gum dog go outside, roll in the grass an' bring sticker burrs, dirt an' sand, and grass clip'ns in "da house" Do her shake an' that stuff is all over the place. Not that it matters or anything like that, but after bout a week, it look like a pig pin in here.

Ok.....decided I better go to the golf course an' swak a few. I'll be back shortly.....maybe. 

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See, I tole ya I would be back. Had a very excit'n day at the golf'n place an' the eat'n place.

When I arrived at the Sinton golf course, there was a hunnert old farts wait'n in line to tee off. You know how old farts are, they slow. The nice lady say to me that I can start on the back nine if'n I want to. Well, I'm want'n to, so I did just that.

There was a steady 15 miles a hour wind blow'n, sky full of rain clouds an' high humidity. So this is gonna be a challenging experience. I aims to the right of them two big ol' oak trees....let 'er rip. "Jesus Billy Bob, you ain't even close.....where the hell you learn to aim a golf ball"? Well, at least I'm in the fareway even if it's still 200 yards to the green. I ain't got no club what will come close to 200 yards. So it take me 4 strokes to get on the green and it's a par 4. The rest of the back nine went just fine with a total of 44 strokes. For you non-golfers, that's a good score.

 Take a quick look at that par 3 what I got a birdie on. Now that's what I'm talk'n bout. Over to the right is a par 5. Yup, I pared it....but it took a spectacular shot to do it. I weren't even on the green yet an' I was hit'n 5. Chip that sucker right slap in the hole.
Then it start to rain. And the wind picked up. Seven of the last nine holes were played to a disadvantage. Cain't see for the water on my glasses, wind blow'n my ball all over the place, golf'n stiks all wet, feet slip'n on the wet grass....stuff like that. It were a hard finish. The wind and rain provided me with a final score for that last nine holes of "this sucks" (49). For a total 18 hole score of 93. Acceptable, but nuttin like it were 5 or 6 years ago when I was hit'n in the mid 80's.

Oh, speak'n of slip'n feet.....I ain't never gonna play golf in sandals again...for the rest of my life. 

Now for the funny part of my day. At least I thought it was funny anyhows. I went off to the "greezy spoom" Mexican restaurant (Taqueria La Tapatia). Order me up a combination plate and coffee. After I finish a fine Mexican dinner, I sits back to enjoy a fresh cup of coffee. While I was sit'n there, I feel me a gas attack com'n on. I got to let this stuff out real quiet like so's nobody can hear. Before I go on with the rest of this story, once you hit the old age of 70, it's perfectly acceptable to release gas in public. Old people farts don't stink ya know. Anyhows, that quiet gas release sound just like a bull walrus hunt'n for a mate. The seat vibrated and everbody was look'n right straight at Billy Bob. Embarrassed, you damn betcha old Billy Bob was embarrassed. And that was only the first time. Had to leave a perfectly good cup of coffee sit'n on a now empty table. I was out the door. That when it struck me as funny.   


  

Dumb moments

Boy howdy, yesterdays blog post musta had a bunch of political stuff in it.....or something like that. I think I only mentioned "God" one time, but not in a religious manner. I said "shit"....what should have been crap. "Dang Billy Bob, you got to get your "crap" together....people are read'n you". 
Ok, that was my rant for the day.

Well, what ya think bout this weather? I don't know bout you, but the old Billy Bob was miserable yesterday. The wind was blow'n an' it was cold outside......high of 60 degs. I went outside one time to get something out "that jeep". Holy shit....crap....cows, it's cold out here. I ain't got no shoes on an' this tee shirt don't cut the mustard. Heater run all day long. And it's snow'n somewhere up north.

I think I done mess up this new fangle Windows 8. Ain't had it but a month an' it's already lock'n up stuff. Ya see, I were do'n a little research on how to operate Windows 8 an' I start mak'n some changes. Figgered out how to bypass that dad burned apps page what pops up every time ya turn the computer. Updated Adobe Flash player 'cause it kept lock'n up. Then I turn off some gizmo setting so's that the touch pad don't open stuff just by look'n at it.....very very very sensitive. Just breath wrong on it an' stuff start pop'n up. No, sensitivity is not adjustable. Bill Gates, you suck!!!!

There's a possibility I will be swak'n golf balls Friday. The cold front is supposed to be gone an' warm temps are forecast. Of course, there will be wind.

A little bit about swak'n golf balls. Also called "a round of golf". It's not a matter of "chas'n a little white ball" all around the course, it takes a skill many folks just don't have. It takes hours of tedious training and concentration. If'n ya got your mind on a nice cold beer while you're stand'n in the tee box, you gonna hit the ball in the water....or in my case, hit a tree way the hell over there. Ya gotta think ahead to your next shot, like in a game of snooker or 8 ball. Have the ability to see into the future. Read the lay of the land. Golf is a game of strategy, concentration and skill. A little luck don't hurt neither. Your worst competitor in a round of golf is yourself. So don't be knock'n golf ball swak'n if'n ya don't know nuttin bout it.

Sometimes I let my mind wander back to when I was just a kid. Now that's a long time ago ya know. I like to write about my experiences an' adventures. Situations I got myself into. Some good, some dumb. If'n somebody ask me what my dumbest moment was, it would take me a week to answer. I done way too many dumb things to pick out just one.

Did I ever tell ya bout the time I jump off the roof of my shrimp'n boat? I were gonna take me a swim. That's all, just take a nice cool little swim. Problem.....we was in 4 foot of water an' there's mud down there. An' there probly sea monsters down there ya cain't see. Ya don't jump off'n a big ol' shrimp'n boat into 4 feet of water an' mud and expect to surrive. That's dumb....an' ya gonna get stuck in the mud scream'n "MOMS". Yeah I did that. Back in bout '69.

Did ya ever try to carry a sheet of plywood up a roof twenty feet off the ground? In wind. Boy howdy let me tell ya, you be fly'n like a eagle. Yeah, I did that too.....an' I was a 30 year old clear think'n adult. Land in a pile of scrap lumber....all scraped up and bruised....splinters, stuff like that. Dumb ya say? You bet. 

I don't rekon anybody else ever did nuttin dumb, but if'n ya did, here's your chance to tell bout it. Come on, don't be shy.....what was the dumbest moment in your life?

That's a fox, not a dog

Boy howdy....let me tell ya.....spring in south Texas sucks. I had watched the weather forecast for yesterday and today. Said something bout night time lows in the 40's again. Right bout 2430 last night.....(military time for 12:30 am), it were still in the mid 70's outside. So's I went to bed with the winders and the door wide open. Blanket was in a heap on the floor.

Some time during the night, things changed. I waked up long bout 4am freez'n slap almost to death. That's what I'm talk'n bout....this ain't spring, it's still winter.

You think "that's" bad, take a look at this. Yesterday my stocks (ATT) was at a all time year high. I'm git'n rich (happy face). This morn'n they was down 6% (-$2.30). So much for git'n rich (sad face). This is not my idea of the start of a good day.

Talk bout get'n bent out of shape, the old Billy Bob is hurt'n all over  this morn'n from all them girlie chores I done yesterday. You know bout them back problems I got, but I step on a pork chop bone too...... what Sadie Mae left lay'n in the middle of the floor. You wouldn't think a pork chop bone would cause so much pain, but let me tell ya...... Have ya ever step on a Lego? I step on a sleep'n cats tail one time. You wouldn't think that would hurt neither, but I thought I done tangled with a mountain lion. Had bites an' scratches all over my feet an' legs where that cat worked me over. I've had a hard life with cats an' all.

Speak'n of bites an' scratches, did I ever tell ya bout the time.....me an' that ol' ugly dog was down along the banks of the creek. Yup, same ol' ugly dog on the farm what used to bite me. I would scream "MOMS" an' she would beat hell out that dog with a broom stik. Anyhows, that ol' ugly dog chase a fox into a hole up under some trees grow'n on the bank. Go right in that hole after that fox. An' don't come back out. All I hear is that dog a bark'n an rais'n all holy hell in there. I reaches up in that hole, feels around, an' grabs holt to that dogs tail....drag him slap out. But it weren't that dog. It were that fox. What proceeded to beat my ass. Bite the shit out me. I'm scream'n "MOMS" loud as I can to come get this fox off'n me. I finally let loose his tail an' he gone.....pooof, just like that. Did ya know "Moms" would put turpentine, alcohol an' iodine in bite wounds???  Hurt worster than any bite or scratches ya get just play'n round.

Well, I guess it's time to get back to "housework" I didn't do yesterday. I'm think'n long the same lines as "Sissy", I need a maid.

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Been work'n like a girl

Boy howdy, that golf ball swak'n beat the hell slap out me. When I returned to "da house" yesterday afternoon, I was in pain. Took me up a couple them super duty aspirins an' lay myself down on the couch. That where I stay for the rest of the day. Exercise sucks.

Waked up way too early this morn'n. It were still dark out there in the yard. Brewed me up a fresh pot of coffee an' lay back on that couch over there sip'n up a cup an' relax'n. Day dream'n an' think'n. I'm get'n to where I like that couch. Wind is blow'n a hunnert mile a hour, so I won't be go'n outside any time soon. Then I looks around...."holy shit Billy Bob, when ya gonna do some house clean'n to this place"?? Yup, you right, I jump right on it. There dirt, dust an' sand all over the place. God only knows where all that stuff come from.

So I cranks up some cajun on the surround sound.....start do'n girlie stuff. Vacuum clean'n, sweep'n the floor an' mop'n. Wash the dashboard so's it look brand spank'n new. Give the couch a good bath too. Did all that between bout a hunnert 15 minute breaks. Now I'm wored slap out an' my back is kill'n me....and I'm only half ways done. "Tomorrow Billy Bob. If'n ya don't touch nuttin, it gonna still be there tomorrow". What ya think? Tomorrow, or keep abus'n this old body of mine?

Cold front on the way. I'm get'n tired of these daa-gum cold fronts. Just when I get all fired up an' excitis bout nice weather, here come another cold front. I rekon I'll know for certain pretty soon if'n I made a good decision or a bad one by not go'n nowheres yet. I don't mind sit'n here at nephew Joseph's El Rancho Abraham, but I would just a soon be somewheres else moan'n an' bitch'n bout the weather. I don't recall another winter like this one has been. Kind of weird if'n I do say so myself. 

 That's it folks. The old Billy Bob has got to take a nap.

I forgot...has been updated

I 'member one time......Oh wait, I don't remember much of anything no more. I were sit'n here after I done read all the blogs this morn'n an' my mind ceased to work. I forgot what I was gonna say.

So what am I gonna do today? "I bet ya a dollar Billy Bob, if'n ya get off'n that damn computer, you'll think of something".
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3PM Update:
After a nice shower, I noticed it was a beautiful day....what I didn't notice earlier. And what a better thing to do on a beautiful day.....go swak some golf balls.....(something bout that sentence don't look right).

I arrived at the first tee box right at 12:15. There weren't nobody in front of me and nobody behind me. So I could take my time an' concentrate on perfect shots. "Damn Billy Bob, there's water over there. Whatcha hit it over there for"???". That was close.

Usually when I arrive at the golf course, I am all pumped up an' excitis. Today was an exception. I didn't really want to be there. But I had done paid my dues, so I may as well do the best I can. What weren't too bad for a rookie just learn'n to swak golf'n balls. I also don't usually post a pic of a score card unless something really spectacular happens.

Take a close look at hole #18. That's a 455 yard par 4, much farther than any par 4 you will ever find on most golf courses. I had planned to take the short cut to the left of that big ol' oak tree out there in the middle of the fareway, but I miss judged my ability to hit a ball where I'm aim'n. I was in the middle of the fareway....what don't usually happen. My second shot with my trusty 5 wood left me 70 yards from the green. Now if'n I hit my next shot just right, I can get on the green in 3. What I usually don't do on this hole....with all them trees an' stuff in the way. I'm think'n a 3/4 swing with a 9 iron aimed directly at the flag. Swak....that ball go up in the air, land on the green and roll....right straight at the flag stik. I'm think'n I may have a chance for a par on this long ass par 4 hole......and the ball drop slap in the hole....just like that. Now I all excitis, but this is the last hole....damn!!!
I love golf ball swak'n.

Brain farts

The wonders of the mind. Just sit'n round do'n nuttin, my mind has done slap went crazy. Think weird stuff.

I upgraded my motorhome to a 42 footer diesel pusher. Yanked every bit of that "girly" stuff out the bedroom an' built me a "man" garage/workshop, right there where that bedroom used to be. Overhead florescent lighting, table saw, band saw, drill press.......walls filled with woodwork'n tools, drawers filled with "power" and hand tools.

Don't ask me where that silly idea come from, although it is a pretty good one. NOT!!! Did you know that a designer of RV's had that exact same dream a while back? Turn a perfectly good bedroom in to a "toy" room. He called it a "toy hauler"....or something like that. 

That wonderful idea of clean'n out the back of "that jeep" yesterday got shot all to hell an' gone. Ya see, I were hungry when I got that silly idea. So's I ate me up a big ol' ham an' cheese sammich. What make me sleepy. So's I took me a nap. You know the rest of the story.

Of course I spent right bout 4 hours research'n places I might want to go this summer. To no avail. Had me a nice time look'n at all them photos an' stuff. Now I don't need to go. I done seen it on the internet. I don't particularly want to go somewheres I been before, but I'm sure I'll end up in the desert again. Go see "pesky neighbor" Wayne long bout August....stuff like that.

Sit on "da porch" sip'n up a cup again. Dang, sit'n on that porch was like sit'n in the cockpit of my old sail'n boat.

Ain't got nuttin more I want to write bout this morn'n. The old Billy Bob is hav'n a hard time in his life. I got me enough "want to" to last a hunnert years an' not enough "can do" to make it through the day. Seems like everthing is lost an' I cain't find it. But I'm still look'n.

Laters

On a roll...snake eyes

People that have never been to Port Aransas in it's better years don't understand "Grrrrrrr....Port Aransas sucks". Sorry I made that statement, but I was there. I lived there. I worked there. I fished there. I drinked a few beers there. I danced to country music there. I played poker. We knew our neighbors by first name. We didn't lock our doors. Fish poles could be left outside overnight an' still be there the next morning. We helped each other. That was the better years of Port Aransas. It's not like that no more.

Boy howdy, it were cold last night. I waked up early, look at the thermometer thingy an' it was 42 degs out there. I'm think'n this "global warm'n" thing is a bust. But then ya know how the government likes to scare ya into think'n the world will end if'n ya don't do what they say. "That's all I have to say bout that".....Gump.

I'm still at a point where I don't know what I'm gonna do. I got me this big ol' motorhome what can go anywheres any time I want. I got a "that jeep" what runs pretty good half the time. I got me a dawg what loves to travel. So, what's miss'n? I ain't like'n this idea of not go'n nowheres any better than the rest of ya. I'm depressed with the weather, ain't got no desire no more, don't wanna do nuttin....an' I'm get'n a bit on the lazy side. Kind of makes me wonder if'n my travel'n days over. Am I just gonna sit here in nephew Joseph's yard an' shrivel up an' die? Come on "mama nature" (good weather)....help me out here.

Ain't no sense in me tell'n ya bout what I did yesterday, 'cause it sure as hell ain't nuttin excit'n. Just normal every day "sit on my ass" activity. I'm get'n old ya know, so I got me a good excuse. My health ain't get'n no better, so I rekon that's another good excuse. This ain't no way to live an' I ain't like'n it one bit.

I learn't many years ago that if'n ya ain't excited bout something, make up a excuse to not do it. You know....like wimmins an' headaches. I used to tell my young'uns...."don't be giv'n me no excuses, just git it done". Now here I am down the road a piece mak'n excuses. Bet ya a dollar some doctor got a pill for that. Maybe Dr Phil could straighten me out. He's good at tell'n other people how to live their lives.....Grrrrrr, Dr Phil sucks.

Boy howdy I'm on a roll today. Think I better just shut the hell up an' go do something.

Hows bouts do'n something with "this" mess???

 

 If'n ya cain't tell by now, that's the back of "that jeep". Quite a mess if'n I do say so myself. An' my fish poles is under all that stuff.
 Laters.

Little fish'n village...Port Aransas

Yeee Haaa, now that's what I call wind. I knowed a cold front was headed this way, an' I knowed there is always wind with a cold front. An' I mean to tell ya, the wind blowed. Temps last night were no where close to what was predicted. My Walmart special temp thingy says it got down to 55 last night. I can live with that.

After my "find dad" vacation, I returned to Charleston SC. to find a transfer offer from the United States Government. Ya see, they was put'n together a international good will ship to sail all over the world. To be manned by sailors from different countries. I was a electrician an' they needed a American electrician. So's I accepted their offer since I could read English an' I were a pretty good electrician too.

Arriving in Norfolk Va. to report to my new assignment, I got delayed a couple days....with military approval. That delay costed me my position on the "good will" ship. But fear not, the old Billy Bob was offered to be transferred to any US Navy port in the US.....as long as it was on a ship. 

Since I had found my dad and fell in love with Port Aransas, I chose a reserve training ship out of Galveston, Texas (Pelican Island). Close enough to hitchhike back an' forth on a days notice....bout 208 miles if'n I recall.

This was my last duty station (USS Haynsworth DD700) up to 1966....unsure of month. I spent 4 years 4 months rid'n these babies all around the Caribbean, Canary Islands, up an' down the east coast, France, Italy, Greece, Spain....places like that. An' boy howdy do I have some stories to tell.

I hanged around Galveston and Texas City for a few years before mov'n to Port Aransas.....for the first time. Back then, fish'n was excellent in Port Aransas. Catch tarpon an' jew fish right out of the Corpus Christi ship channel. Now I ain't say'n I ever catched one of 'em, but they was there if'n was I want'n to. A good size jew fish would tip the scales at 500 pounds with the biggest at 800 pounds. Damn, that's as big as a cow.

Today, Port Aransas is no longer a excit'n little fish'n village. It's a freak'n tourist trap what will drain you of every last cent ya got to your name. Developers have made a killing off'n retired suckers. Even if ya got your own house on wheels (RV), expect to pay from $400 to $800 a month just for a place to park it (RV Resort). A rented condo ranges bout the same. If ya decide to spend the day at the beach, ya got to purchase a "beach parking permit" or face a ridiculously high fine. Grrrrrrrr....Port Aransas sucks.

Well shoot, I were think'n bout swak'n up some golf balls today, but now it's too late in the day, an' earlier it was too cold (64 degs).    

Mississippi small town cop

Wow boy howdy, let me tell ya bout some salty humidity. Ya see, the wind is blow'n from the southeast and a few short miles to the southeast, is the Gulf of Mexico. Salt water for as far as the eye can see. Salt filled air will eat up a brand spank'n new car lickity split. If'n ya live in Port Aransas, ya change cars every three years....or ya put them in a sealed garage an' never drive 'em. I know 'cause I lived there for 18 years.

My first encounter with Port Aransas was way back in 1963. I was stationed in Charleston SC aboard a guided missile destroyer (US Charles F. Adams DDG-2).....US Navy ya know. I were look'n for my "lost" dad what I ain't seen in a few long years. I located him in Port Aransas, Texas....in a saloon drunker an' a skunk. My dad was a drinkard ya know.

I jumps in my old 1956 Ford 4 door an' heads west in the direction of Texas. I got me a 30 day leave (military vacation). I stops in a little hick town in Mississippi to fill up the gas tank.....check the oil, water, air in the tires.....stuff like that. Up drives this old 1953 Oldsmoble....or something like that, cop car.....red lights flash'n. This BIG feller climb out that old Oldsmobile all puff up like a pit bull in heat. "Where yer shoes boy? In Mississippi ya don't drive with no shoes". I knowed for sure I was gonna go to jail right now. I was sceered shitless. This guy was big....an' mean look'n....I mean to tell ya. He check all my credentials....make sure I weren't transport'n drugs or illegal aliens.....rob a bank, nuttin like that. Bout a half hour of small town cop indoctrination, I assure this cop I will never again, as long as I live, drive a 1956 Ford 4 door barefooted again. He points me in the direction of the border.

I stops off in a little town just across the border in Texas. My god, what is that smell? Vidor, Texas....smell like a deserted chicken farm. Dead chickens an' rotten eggs. I asks this nice lady in a convenience store if'n she knowed where Port Aransas was located. Like me, she ain't never hear of Port Aransas. Well, if'n its a port, it must be on the coast....right? So's I head off to the south bout 300 hunnert mile along the coast. There it are, Port Aransas...on a freak'n island. Population bout 600. A little fish'n village.

I start mak'n the rounds look'n for dad. Never see so many damn bars in a small town in all my life.

I pull up in front of Shorty's Bar.

Loud ungodly music fills my ears. I pulls up a stool, orders a adult beverage an' looks around. The place is packed with locals an' a few tourists. There's Bob an' Buttercup, Frank an' "none other" dad. Bob slam'n keys on the piano an' Buttercup strum'n on a old washtub. Frank screech'n notes on a old out of tune fiddle. An' there's dad beller'n "Filipino Baby" at the top his lungs. Earnest Tubb he ain't.

Naturally, he didn't know who the hell I was, where I come from, or why I had called him "dad". By the time my vacation was over, I knowed every barmaid in town by name, knowed every password to the backroom poker tables an' run that 1956 Ford 4 door slap into the Gulf of Mexico (for the first time). Second time ruined it....went to the dumpster.

Was relieved to see two ladies make a blog post this morn'n.

Ha Ha....maybe I need another first mate. MsB, you crack me up. I'm think'n more along the lines of a "nurse" instead of a first mate.

This shit is hot....wooo-eeee!

Boy howdy, what a long ride. Me an' Sadie Mae loaded up an' headed for Port Aransas. The skys was cloudy, wind blow'n from the southeast and it were foggy the closer I got to the coast. Cruis'n through the little town of Taft, an observant police officer shaked his finger at me. I were go'n too fast. By the time we reached Aransas Pass, Sadie Mae was fast asleep in the passenger seat. Reaching the ferry landings, there were no lines to wait in. Mail was picked up at my mail pick'n up place, pocket change was picked up from my bank'n establishment and a few smokes were purchased from the liquor store. Mission has been accomplished in Port Aransas.

We headed south on the "island road" towards Corpus Christi. Intention was to purchase a battery at the hobby shop. As you remember, the hobby shop was closed last week after mak'n the long trip from Sinton. I were all excitis I was gonna get the battery today. The door to the hobby shop was lock up tighter than a drum. Now I are pissed, hungry an' gotta pee. My trip to Corpus Christi is a bust.

Headed north out of Corpus Christi to Walmart in Calallen....I'm pissed, hungry an' I gotta pee. I drop off my empty prescription bottles for a refill. The nice lady says to come back in 25 minutes an' they will be ready. This ain't never happen before at a Walmart pharmacy. I was shocked. So I grab me up a shop'n cart an' start cruis'n the aisles. I got 25 minutes to waste. My biggest fear when I grab holt that cart was spend'n a hunnert dollars on crap I have no use for. I walk out of Walmart with my prescriptions refilled an' a loaf of bread. I must be get'n old. My trip to Calallen is a success.

I stops in Odem at the Dairy Queen. I'm still hungry. Steak finger basket sound pretty good with a big ol' pile of french fries. NOT!!! I got sicker an' a dawg. Thought I were gonna puke right there in the store. This ain't never happen before at a Dairy Queen. Supper was turned down an' I went to bed hungry.

That was my day yesterday. This morn'n I wake up to a cloudy skys, wind blow'n, gotta pee an' I'm hungry. Anything excit'n what happens today will be by sheer chance....accident, 'cause I ain't got a thing planned. I ain't say'n I ain't got stuff to do, I just don't want to do nuttin.

I was old enough to be Vickie Lynn's daddy, so in public, she called me daddy. We were sit'n in a fancy Mexican restaurant with some upper class friends eat'n up some chips an' salsa before our meals arrived. Vickie Lynn took her first bite, look me straight in the eye an' proclaims in a loud voice....."My God daddy, this shit is hot.....whooo-eee!!!". You would'a had to been there to realize the impact of her proclamation.  Silly girl.

Funny how ya can be just sit'n round an'  a thought sneeks up on ya. Like the one above. I were just sit'n here an' out of the blue, up pops Vickie Lynn. She was my "first mate" on the sailboat and the first year of my retirement. But most of ya already knew that. Vickie Lynn walked the plank a few times but I always took her back. Just a little thing....loved her vodka an' orange juice (reason for walk'n the plank). Vickie Lynn will always be a fond memory in my life....God rest her soul. 

Ok, I done messed around too much this morn'n. Got things to do. 

Morbid thoughts

Ain't got no new news from Billy Bob's Place this morn'n. I just ain't got no energy to get up an' do anything. The highlite of my day is when I click on the blogs an' see what everbody else is do'n. Of course I spend a little time read'n the news each morn'n. Check the stock market to see if'n I can afford a trip to Walmart.

I been think'n bout golf clubs lately. Thanks to OFM Barney, with his brand spank'n new golf clubs, I got to think'n maybe I need me some new clubs too. Ya see, when I swak my golf'n ball, it don't go to where I'm aim'n at. An' it don't go very far neither.....like Barneys do. So I went Googl'n. Well shoot....I hit my golf'n balls just like a average 71 year old amateur golfer. I ain't never claim to be no professional golfer or nuttin like that, but I sometimes do consider myself a little bit better than a backwoods redneck amateur. My clubs are just fine for my age bracket. I'll keep these. Now if'n I could just learn to hit a ball.

I'm gonna hit on health issues this morn'n. In the last few years, it's been a downhill battle for the old Billy Bob. After hav'n heart surgery in '08, I pretty much accepted that I'm gonna die one of these days. What is pretty much Ok with me. I ain't say'n that I ain't got nuttin to live for, 'cause I do. But I want what time I got left to be comfortable. You know what I'm talk'n bout....not laid up in some bed of death suffer'n from pain from the time I wake up till I go back to sleep. Get'n all shrivel up into to some kind of meatless skinny ghost figure. Not able to attend to my daily needs....like do'n dishes......stuff like that.

Travel has gotten much harder for me in the last 5 years. Once I get a campsite set up somewheres, I'm think'n I want to stay there for a while before I move on to a new campsite. I got to take breaks, rest....sip up a cup.....do some think'n. Go'n down the road a piece ain't as easy as it used to be. 

Have ya look at the weather forecast? Would you believe there's another freak'n cold front? Supposed to be here in a couple days.....mid 40's for lows and lower 70's daytime. This is why I'm depressed an' don't want to do nuttin. Actually it plumb pisses me off. Ya know I don't like wind an' what do ya suppose is gonna happen. Yup....wind.

You know I still have to climb up there on the roof an' fix that back A/C. I just ain't gonna take the chance of a gust of wind blow'n me off'n that roof. You watch....the first day there ain't no wind, it gonna be a hunnert degs., the roof gonna be all wet from sweat an' I'm gonna slide off in a pile on the ground. Damn, I just cain't win for lose'n.

Ok, morbid thoughts aside....I got things to do. Laters. 

Hard work'n sum-a-gun...

Just a quick reminder this morn'n that the old Billy Bob is one hard work'n feller. I do stuff....git 'er done.

It all started yesterday morn'n when I needed a freshly washed dish what was in the bottom of the dish pan. To get to it, I had to wash what ever was on top of it. Makes perfect sense to me. Anyhows, all the dishes are washed an' put away. Well, maybe not all of 'em, but most.

I didn't do it all at one time, but a whole bunch of stuff what was lay'n round "da house" ain't lay'n round no more. I been do'n housework. Well, it ain't really housework, I just been put'n stuff back where it belongs. Lots of stuff. All hobby build'n materials an' hobby tools....battery chargers, little bitty saws, files, drills an' drill bits, tubes of super glue, duck tape....stuff like that....you know what I'm talk'n bout.

I were sit'n there on the couch sip'n up a cup an' tak'n a break from all the hard work I been do'n. Cherry Chocolate Cake. I got all the mak'ns for one, ain't got nuttin to do an' I'm hungry. So's I throws all that stuff in a bowl, mix it up an' make me up a Cherry Chocolate Cake.

What the hell....it's a goat. This is that damn goat what when ever he gits the urge, he comes stomp'n up the steps into "da house".  Goats ain't got no respect!!!!

I rekon since today is a cloudy day an' the wind is blow'n outside, I'll get some affairs in order. Look'n at my "to do" list, I ain't gonna get much done though. "Tomorrow Billy Bob, wait till tomorrow". I just love the hell out of tomorrow. Gives me another day to do nuttin today. I just love hell out of do'n nuttin.

Ok, I'm gonna do "something"......laters.

Possible surgery....not likely

I were sit'n there on the couch, that beef pork stew soup was warm'n on the stove. Here come nephew Joseph. "Ya want a steak an' baked tater for supper Uncle Bill"? I jumps up real quick like a flash, turn  the stove slap off an' says...."Oh hell yeah"!!!! A hour later I were eat'n up a fat, juicy, medium rare 12 oz. mesquite grilled steak long with the biggest bake tater ya ever see in your life. Both cooked to perfection just like I like 'em. I don't know what kind of beans them are, but I ain't eat'n 'em.  

Everbody know that the old Billy Bob has got a bad back. Been that way for 30 years....with some instances of relief along the way through strenuous physical therapy. I were sit'n over there on the couch an' got to think'n bout all the times I had considered let'n some veterinarian do back surgery. I jump on the the internet and Google. I was think'n laser surgery would be the way to go. I heared too many stories bout regular back surgery where they cut a big ol' slash in your back, go dig'n round in there with knives an' forks, drills, hammers an' chisels....Dremel tools....stuff like that. And then for the rest of your life, ya hurt more than when ya started. But.......read on.

Laser surgery ain't no better....depend'n who ya listen to. I bet ya didn't know that any doctor can perform laser surgery. That why I said veterinarian a while ago. But anyhows, Billy Bob ain't gonna be get'n no surgery of any kind for quite a spell. Oh, by the way.....your insurance probly ain't gonna cover laser surgery anyhows. Typical laser back surgery....$30,000. So this is how I spent a good four hours of a beautiful day yesterday.   

Not that everbody gets all excitis bout the old Billy Bob do'n dishes, but I got half them suckers done yesterday before noon. I'm think'n that's a pretty good accomplishment for one day. I done I been cursed by the "dirty dish fairy". 

The more I think bout flip'n a coin, the more I'm think'n that may be the best choice for my next trip. Not only does that make good blog material to write about, but I get to see all kinds of stuff what I wouldn't drive a hunnert miles to see. Ended up in Dodge City Kansas one time flip'n a coin like that. What do I remember bout Dodge City??? It sucked, that's what I remember bout Dodge City. I mean.....there was a gazillion tourists, kids run'n round scream'n like banshees, babies cry'n...dad burned traffic jams everwheres. It were rodeo time an' I don't do rodeos.

Last time I was to a rodeo was bout a hunnert year ago (50). Me an' a self proclaimed wanna be cowboy buddy of mine drove almost a hunnert mile to Bakersfield, Ca. just so's he could ride a freak'n cow. Hell, I did that when I were 6 year old right out there in the barn yard. My cowboy buddy lasted bout a nanosecond on that big ol' cow. Throw him slap on the ground. Then knock hell out him with his head. Poor cowboy buddy got a bloody nose....an' a few cuts an' scrapes. Big ol' goose egg on his head. Who in their right mind would ride a cow???

Ok, I gonna see what I can get myself into today. You guys have a good'un.

Stuff to do

Well shoot, I don't know what I'm gonna do today. I ain't say'n that I ain't got nuttin what needs done 'cause I got plenty. I'm the type of a guy what uses a tool or something, thinks he might use it again in a week or so, so's I just lay it down somewheres. In time I got me a big ol' pile of "stuff" to stumble on ever time I walk by it. Not the perfect form of housekeep'n, but it works for me.

I have limited bandwidth on my Verizon air card. Since I bought this new laptop, with Windows 8 installed on it, my bandwidth usage has gone way up. In 6 days, this sucker has eat up 670 megabytes. Does anybody else have Windows 8 and are experienc'n the same problem? This sucker is download'n stuff I don't want. Don't even ask me if'n I want it or not. In my book, Windows 8 sucks. 

A couple bloggers are hav'n health issues. I don't like that crap.....it worries me. But at the same time, I can sit here an' look at my own health issues and think' nuttin of it. I might bitch an' moan a bit, bout hurt'n an' stuff like that, but worry that I'm gonna die, I don't do that. But when somebody else is hav'n problems, I worry bout them. Get well bloggers.

Dadgum Mississippi riverboat is still on my mind, even though it is all put back together an' hang'n on the wall. Everthing I was gonna fix an' modify has been completed. But....I ain't at all satisfied. The way I see it, I'm gonna be work'n on the Mississippi riverboat in the near future. "Git it right Billy Bob, I'm tired of hear'n bout this shit....an'... an'... fix that damn flag pole ya broke". 

Boy howdy, I feel nuttin but pity for all them folks up north what are still shovel'n snow an' driv'n round on a sheet of ice. Sure am glad it ain't me, 'cause I don't shovel nuttin no more. My God "Mama Nature", this is April.....spring time an' showers. Not only is the weather affect'n them people up north, it's affect'n the old Billy Bob too. I ain't go'n nowheres till it quits snow'n.

Speak'n of go'n nowheres, a few years ago, that's what I did. I took off on a trip with no particular place to go. Make a turn on the flip of a coin. "Wonder where this road goes"? Well shoot, it didn't go no where. Some god forsaken little burg out in the middle of nowheres. Sightsee'n tourist ain't never been there. RV parks an' places to park was nonexistent. "Where the hell is a Walmart"? That was the year Uncle Sam was hand'n out $600 dollar bills to everbody. Spended it all "go'n nowhere".

I said I would never do that again as long as I live.......but......that may be my agenda for this summer. 

Updated Stew or soup.....what it is?

Experimentation with eatable food stuff could be hazardous to your health. Well, maybe not hazardous, but make ya puke an' stuff like that.

Pork is not beef. Ya see, the other day when I went shop'n, I got the idea to make me up some Billy Bob beef stew soup. By the time I got to the beef section in the meat display cases, I had considered a chicken or pork stew soup. With beef prices, pork was determined a good substitute. It weren't really. Not when ya don't like pork no more.

 Boy howdy......yum yum eat'em up. If'n I had only spended the extra $$$$ for beef!!!!

Speak'n of soup an' stuff. I ain't never had any good luck with freez'n soup. I brewed up so much soup yesterday that I'm gonna have to send half it to the dumpster.....unless I freeze some of it. Freez'n changes the texture....what ever the hell that is....stuff just don't taste the same. I put 2 bags of soup in the freezer last night. I ain't gonna starve to death, but I may be sick. 

Don't know if'n I ever wanna play swak 'em up golf balls anymore. Why is it that ever time I play a round with the OFM Barney, I pay dearly the following day? Yesterday was no exception. And then, he always wins me (highest score is not the winner). Even with brand spank'n new guaranteed golf balls, he still puts a whoop'n on me. One these days Barney....one these days.

Sure is a pretty day outside, although it's a bit chilly (62). I'm think'n bout noon time, I'll head up the road a piece to the golf ball swak'n place. I could hang around "da house", listen to cajun music an' watch Sadie Mae sleep.

That's all she do all day long.....sleep.
This dawg ain't right.
















I'm think'n I may make a trip up to the Houston area. Oh hell no, I ain't gonna go camp'n in Houston. I don't even like to drive through Houston, much less spend a week there. Just a thought.

Ok, I got a few dishes soak'n in the sink. Maybe I'll wash 'em up. Laters......
**********************************************************************

3:30pm Recap of a wonderful day:

Dishes? Why no I didn't do no dishes. They fine right where they at. They "rest'n". 

Here's what I got to say bout golf'n.......GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!
When I finished the front 9 (48), I knowed I was in for a terrible game. But hot damn, the old Billy Bob done pretty good on the back nine (46). When the scores was added up, I struck my handicap....what ain't been updated in 5 years. So I have no reason to whine an' cry like a little 9 year old girl step child.

When I were a step child, orphan or abandoned child, or what ever people sayed I was, I whined bout everthing. "How comes I don't get no desert like the other real kids"? "That ain't fair". "What you mean sit down an' shut up"? "Where my allowance"? "These second hand shoes don't fit". When I were married to my second hand wife, I felt like a step child, orphan or abandoned child just like I did when I was a little feller. My second hand wife sucked I betcha a dollar an' some change.

That beef stew soup I was tell'n ya bout.....well the soup an' vegetable part is 'souper' good. Pork in beef stew soup sucks. So's I added a can of diced maters in it. Tasting in 5 minutes.
Taste, taste, taste....it's Ok I guess. I were so hungry I could'a eat a blamed ol' road kill possum, so this soup taste just fine right now...... do in a pinch.

  

Will I be back today????

I may or I may not be back to make a blog post today.

Ya see, yesterdays winning golf game (highest score) with OFM Barney put a hurt'n on me. I still have a couple fingers with no feeling an' my back pains last night brung me slap out the bed with shouts of "damn, that hurts". Well, that weren't the exact words, but you know what I'm talk'n bout.

 Today I will be mak'n my famous "Billy Bob beef stew soup". But I ain't got no beef. So's we gonna be us'n pork.
Instructions and photos may be included....maybe. If not "laters", then tomorrow......maybe.

Cake time....

Holy crap, I done had me one them nights. At 2:30am, I were still look'n at the ceiling. Just look'n ya know 'cause there weren't nuttin else to do at that hour. I layed there listen'n to the awning flap'n in the breeze, think'n bout fix'n that a/c, wonder'n what today (Wednesday) would be like, "what the hell them dogs bark'n bout?", should I call Barney in the morn'n for a golf swak'n game, what new project should I start.....stuff like that. I knowed I would sleep in this morn'n, but I didn't care. I'm retired ya know.

Yesterday Dizzy Dick wrote a blog post bout when he met the old Billy Bob. Don't seem like it was 3 years ago, but I remember that day like it were 2 1/2 years ago. We ate hamburgers at the Grub Shack in Terlingua, Texas. Sit around in "Sally da house" jaw'n an' tell'n lies for a hour or so. Anyhows, I were gonna put a comment on Dizzy's blog, but I let it slip right through my fingers. I do that sometimes ya know.

I see we got a couple new followers to "Billy Bob's Place". I welcome you to my blog with open arms an' a great "Howdy Doo....y'all".

Speak'n of new followers, somebody don't know bout "Billy Bob Cherry Chocolate Cake". One comment says there must be a story behind that cake. Well, there is. Ya see, I were camp'n at the "slabs" back in '08. It were cold, rainy, clouds all over the place an' I were stuck in "da house" with nuttin to do. I says to myself...."Billy Bob, let's make a cake". Well, I don't even like cake.....but I got me a idea. A super moist almost gooey cake with cherries on top. Jump in "that jeep" an' goes to Walmart to buy up the stuff. I suppose ya could go to a regular grocery store to buy the same thing, but I don't do "regular".

When it come time to make the cake, I were tired, cranky an' grouchy from the long ride to Walmart....an' deal'n with Walmart shoppers. I just throwed everthing in a bowl, mix it up a little an' bake that sucker. That is how "Billy Bob Chocolate Cake" was born.
I done tole everbody a couple times all bout how to make this cake, but we got some new people what ain't never see the recipe. Here is the link if'n ya want to make one. Billy Bob Cherry Chocolate Cake.
I notice in the recipe I done forgot all bout the oil ya suppose to put in the cake batter. Bout a 1/4 cup or something like that. Oh shoot, just read the directions, but leave the water out. 
  
Well, here we go again. The freak'n weather forecast said today would be windy as hell. Well it ain't. There ain't no wind at all. This makes me want to go swak some golf balls.
Ok....me an' that OFM Barney is gonna meet up at the course at 12:30. Hot damn, can hardly wait.

Ok....got to get dress up in my Sunday go meet'n duds an' get fired up bout swak'n them new golf balls. Laters.

That damn battery

Yesterdays trip to Corpus Christi turned out to be 50% success. Got half the items I drove all that distance for. Now why the hell would a hobby shop be closed on Mondays?

Well I'm gonna tell ya why. Televisions, electronic games, iPods and cell phones. Nobody has hobbies no more. I'm gonna turn back the clock a few years when there weren't all this electronic gadgit stuff we have today. I cain't speak for you wimmins, but us men folk had hobbies. They built stuff an' then they played with it. In most any city or backwoods town, you could find a hobby shop just around the corner. Shelves loaded with all kinds of fun hobby stuff to keep a man busy year after year. Airplane kits what took months to build. And only a couple minutes to "crash". Plastic model cars what a good hobbyist would spend hours perfecting the finest of details. Model railroading where hobbyist would build entire landscapes with little trains run'n all over the place. Fill up a entire basement....or a two car garage. Boats and ships what took months of painstaking construction, only to sit on a shelf an' draw dust for the rest of it's life. Them hobby shops are gone now days....replaced with online hobby stores.
Please note, the above mentioned items are what the old Billy Bob has spent way too many leisure hours participating in....an' a ton of hard earned $$$$. Your hobby interests may vary.
Also note....fish'n is not a hobby. It's a professional sport. 

Back to the Corpus Christi trip. Me an' Sadie Mae pulled into the park'n lot of the Altex computer/electronics store. All I needed was a cable for the sound system in "Sally da house". Ha.....have ya ever see Billy Bob go shop'n? I seen this little double fan thingy for cooling hard drives. Hmmmm, I bet ya a buck one them fans will fit in that smoke generator. Hey, I could use some those wire connectors. "What the hell is this cool look'n thingy for"? A hour later, I walk out that computer/electronics store with a bag full of some really neat goodies.

I pulls up in front the hobby shop. "What the hell....it's closed". This is a week day. All I need is a simple battery. This is the only hobby shop for probly a hunnert miles. Me an' Sadie Mae sit in the park'n lot an' got to talk'n. She agreed we could come back to the hobby shop in Corpus Christi another day. Pissed off, I stop at two Radio Shacks and one Hobby Lobby. Ain't nobody got a battery like what I need. 

Walmart, up the road a piece in Calallen, was a 100% success. I got everthing what I had wrote down on my shop'n list. Plus half a basket of other stuff. I don't just go inside the store an' buy what I need, I buy what I want too. An' ya gotta walk around look'n an' touch'n stuff to find something ya might want. Then when I get home, I asks myself...."what the hell ya buy that for"???? You would love spend'n a couple hours shop'n with Billy Bob at the local Walmart store. They got everthing.....except for that damn battery.

Boy howdy. I were sit'n there on the couch last night listen'n to the awning flap'n in the breeze. The weather news says we gonna have 40 plus mile a hour winds....tonight, tomorrow an' the next day. That's not good. I got things to do an' travel  plans to make. Ok....so I ain't gonna be driv'n "Sally da house" in no high winds. An' I ain't gonna be climb'n on the roof in no high winds to fix the a/c. I ain't gonna be do'n nuttin in high winds. These winds are controll'n my life. That ain't right. I'll just sit here in Sinton, Texas, do my thang....and wait.  

Misc.....

Dag nab it!!!  I been try'n all morn'n long to make a online insurance payment. This sucks. So's I call them on the phone...know'n it's gonna take a hour or so. I was very close with that estimate. Automation sucks. Because my cell phone is old, an' it's so dirty I can barely see the numbers, the insurance company don't recognize what ever numbers I press. Old cell phones suck. Then this nice lady gets on the phone. I can barely hear her. Bad hearing sucks. Then she cain't find my policy in her computer 'cause they changed my policy number. Computers suck. Finally....my insurance is paid in full for another 6 months. Then, in 6 months, I got to go through all this same stuff again. Pay'n insurance sucks.

When I waked up this morn'n, there weren't the first sign of sunshine. Look kind of like it's gonna rain. Of course, the wind is blow'n just like it did yesterday.

Ok, got the oil and filters changed in "Sally da house", the Onan generator and "that jeep". Thanks to Bubba. Then I got to think'n....."Billy Bob, ya ain't changed the oil in "that jeep" since ya bought it". That's been what? Almost 4 years ago? While the oil was being changed, nephew Joseph climbed under the Jeep Grand Cherokee Limited Orvis and informed me that the motor mounts are slap wore out. Somehows I knowed I was gonna be spend'n more $$$$ to keep this POS run'n. In case you're wonder'n, I'm driv'n a $5000+ Jeep what's worth bout $2000. I'm think'n something ain't right bout these numbers.

Speak'n of chang'n oil. How often do you change oil? You do know that the recommended oil change intervals has been upped....right? I read that somewheres. Just don't know where. Anyhows, if you drive a motor home, did you know....ya don't change oil every 3000 miles? Read'n my maintenance schedule on "Sally da house", I change oil every 7500 miles. But since I use synthetic oil, I can go up to 15,000 mile before I need to change the oil. It gets changed once a year if'n it needs it or not.

I been do'n some research on a new hobby. Or maybe I should say a new "toy". Remote controlled bulldozer. Found a real nice one made in Germany. All steel construction. Working hydraulics. Not a bad price at $9,500. Hell, I can buy a full size bulldozer for that kind of price. I'm think'n I'll just forget bout a remote controlled bulldozer toy.  

Me an' Sadie Mae has got to take a ride today. Walmart of course. Ya see, the old Billy Bob is out of essentials....donuts, generic twinkies, coffee an' coffee mate, milk, bread, lunch meat, taters....stuff like that. I ain't got nuttin  to eat. I guess I could go to Corpus Christi to pick up some "hobby toy" items while we're out. 

Drop kicked by the dawg

Boy howdy I mean to tell ya.....I feel pretty good this morn'n. I rekon most people get tired of hear'n bout how bad somebody feels.....But....that's what old people talk bout. When ya walk up to some "old" person an' ask 'em "how ya do'n?"....expect them to give ya a detailed and colorful description.
"Hi ya Larry, ain't seen ya in a while....how ya do'n"? You asked for it, Larry is gonna tell ya.

In fact, I feel so good this morn'n I could go swak a few golf balls. Oh wait.....the wind is blow'n a hunnert mile a hour. The same is forecast for tomorrow (Monday). But....I'm think'n a early tee time on Wednesday morn'n is called for. Hmmmmm....wonder what the daily lunch special is at the "greasy churn" (Butter Churn) is on Wednesdays? 

Sadie Mae drop kicked me, slam dunked my arm....beat my ass. Ya see, she was play'n with that little dog an' got herself all excitis. She was jump'n round like a crazy dog. That when she give me left jab an' a right cross. I bleeded like a stuff hog. That's what blood thinners do for ya....give ya wimp skin an' stuff like that. 

Hot damn, that one fine look'n automobile. I were sit'n there on the couch wait'n for the golf game to be over so's I could go outside an' wash "that jeep". That's when I spied "Bubba" outside do'n some chores. "Hey Bubba, how bout wash'n my Jeep"??? See, I tole ya I was gonna wash "that jeep" today.

I been think'n bout what would make the rest of my life a little easier. You know....Play Station 3, that electric motor for the "billy bike", a walker with wheels, a full time housekeeper....stuff like that. I ain't worried bout get'n no exercise or nuttin like that. Just a easier comfortable life of leisure. Damn I love be'n retired. 

Speak'n of the "billy bike" an' a electric motor, I jumps on that thing an' points it up the street. Got a nice 15 miles a hour breeze behind me....gonna be do'n a hunnert mile a hour up the street. Yeee haa!!!....here come the Billy Bob. But wait, I got to peddle that sucker back home against the wind. I puts "billy bike" back in the yard, sits down sip'n up a cup an' done me some serious think'n bout bicycles, exercise an' wind. There's gotta be a easier way.

The old "desert bug" hit me yesterday. Out of all my travels, the desert is my all time favorite place to be. You've heard the old say'n, "been there done that". The old Billy Bob is always ready to go back to the desert an' do it again. As long as it ain't 120 degs in the shade. Sheesh, that would be dumb.

Now I ain't say'n that I decided to go west this summer....or nuttin  like that, 'cause I still ain't got the slightest idea where I gonna go. The desert southwest is just one option of many. I rekon I could just climb behind the wheel, flip a coin an' go. But I done tried that one time before. Said I would never do it again. Flip'n coins takes you to some of the most ungodly places ya ever did see. Have ya ever see the worlds biggest hand dug well? I have. Would I go back? Well hell no.

I rekon that's all the news from Billy Bob's house this morn'n. Y'all have ya a good day an' remember the old Billy Bob while you're eat'n a big old juicy T-bone an' a baked tater. 

Golf'n Friday

Yesterdays adventure took place at the local golf ball swak'n establishment. I arrived at the assigned location with a bag full of golf ball swak'n sticks and a hand full of golf'n balls. It was the beginning of a beautiful sunshiny afternoon, with a slight breeze out of the southeast. A high speed cart was chosen to carry me around the course from tee box to tee box.

At the first tee box, on hole number 1, I met up with a couple younger fellers what agreed to play along with me in a team effort to keep track of and locate my ill hit golf balls. To my total surprise, no balls were lost, wet or mutilated by concrete cart paths.

I started the round with my first hit ball not more than 3 feet from a water hazard on the left. Damn, that were close. That's not where I were aim'n. Ya see, in the popular game of golf, the course designers design a patch of short cut grass what they call a fareway. That's where ya aim at when ya rare back an' swak your golf ball. Some players are more proficient than others. The old Billy Bob learnt many years ago how to play his second shot out of high grass, from behind trees and out of water hazards. Today was no exception of the rule. After the first hole, I knowed I was gonna have me a good day. I scored 5 strokes on a par 4. This went on for the first nine holes with a decent score of 44.

At hole #10, the two younger fellers packed up an' went off down the road a piece. This left the old Billy Bob to finish out the round all by his self. On hole 11, I had teamed up again with 3 fellers just learn'n to swak golf'n balls. They also agreed to help the old Billy Bob keep track of his balls. That's when I began to "fall apart". Got me a triple bogie  (3 strokes over par) an' then a back to back double bogie (2 strokes over par). Now the old Billy Bob is a serious kind of golfer an' this shit don't sit too well when attempting to score a good round. I made up for some them extra strokes and ended up with a decent 18 hole score of 94.

Then I went to the "greasy churn" buffet an' loaded up a couple plates of some fine eat'n. Yesterdays....or to be more specific, two day old, macaroni an' cheese sucked. It were all dried out an' hurt my teeth to chew the stuff. Kind of like chew'n on the gristle on a pork spare rib.  The salad was superb. 

Today is windy. Today is partly cloudy. Today kind of sucks. There ain't a thing wrong with the 75 deg temp, but the wind...the damn wind is blow'n. Have ya ever wash your car in the wind? Well, that's my plan for today.....here in a little bit. That poor "that jeep" ain't been washed in bout a year. And ya can tell just by look'n at it. It's so dirty ya cain't see the gray paint for all the dirt an' stuff on it. When I got in it yesterday, I couldn't hardly see out the windshield. Cranked up the winder washer thingy an' mud come off'n there.  

We was talk'n bout sav'n blog posts the other day. I'm still wait'n for Trouble to tell me how she save them with comments. When I save mine, the way I do it, the comments are a internet link. That means ya gotta be online to see them. If'n any of ya follow John Wells at "the field lab" (link over there on the right). he had his old posts printed in book form. Bet ya a buck that costed him some pocket change. Don't think I would want my blog to be in book form. Although, they would last for a hunnert years. But I ain't gonna live that long anyhows.

Ok....that's it for today. Laters.

Shrimps....$1 a pound

I was sit'n there on the couch sip'n up a cup....think'n. That Mississippi riverboat is sit'n across the room on the hobby table, sometimes used as a camp table when boondocking. That damn boat needs to go back on it's perch on the wall. But.....it's dirty an' needs a bath.

The boat and hobby table was moved outside in the sunshine. Squirt bottles were filled with cleaning solution and fresh rinse water. A old electric toothbrush is used as a clean'n device. Two hours later, the boat is clean as a babies butt, dry'n out there on the hobby table. Oh crap, is that a warp I see. Yup it is. As the wet wood dried, it warped. But fortunately, it's out of sight....and repairable....just not today. Won't be giv'n the boat no more baths.

It's been a good two weeks since I've felt "among the living". I would'a thought that by this time, I would be all well.....swak'n golf balls, fish'n, camp'n, go'n down the road a hunnert mile a hour....stuff like that. I knowed all along that the body wears slap out with age, but damn, this sucks. Five minutes on my feet an' I got to find somewheres to sit down for bout 10 minutes.....sip'n up a cup ya know. I don't feel up to go'n nowheres, wash'n dishes, every day chores....nuttin, I don't feel like do'n nuttin.

Well maybe, just maybe, I'll go swak me up a few golf'n balls this afternoon. It's a beautiful day outside, 65 degs, bout 8 mile a hour wind an' I'm hungry for the "Greasy Churn" (Butter Churn) eat 'em up place. Fridays is seafood day an' the old Billy Bob sure do like seafood. Big ol' handfull of fried shrimps......uh huh, yum yum eat 'em up.

Speak'n of shrimps....Did I ever tell ya bout the time....I were a shrimp boat captain. Way back in '68 or 9, I bought me up a old black 35 foots bay shrimp'n boat. When I drove that old shrimp boat from Galveston, Texas to Texas City, the steer'n was slap ass backards. Ya turn the wheel to go right an' the damn thing go left. What the hell??? Well, I got that all fix up real quick like and proceeded to make my first million dollars.....$$$$$, yeee haw! And a very small start to a million dollars it was. Forrest Gump comes to mind.  Fresh catched shrimp was sell'n for $1 a pound off the boats. What ya didn't sell off the boat, ya had to either freeze or hussle the restaurants all hours of the night. All in all, I'm think'n I had me bout a dollar profit from that old shrimp'n boat.....give or take a few $$$. Word from the wise.....don't go out buy'n no shrimp'n boats. 

What I recall mostly bout that old shrimp'n boat was lunch time. I would open my lunch sack an' what do ya suppose was in it? Shrimps. I got so sick of eat'n shrimp I didn't ever want to see another damn shrimp  as long as I lived. I had fried shrimp, boiled shrimp, shrimp burgers, shrimp tacos....shrimp everthing. A big ol' juicy hamburger would be nice. Or a big ol' greasy pork chop betwix a couple slabs of bread. Anything but shrimps.

Ok, I gots to figger out what I gonna do the rest of the day.....laters.

Remember when....

Ok.....it's no big deal.

This ain't the first time in my life that I ain't had nuttin to talk about....and it probly ain't gonna be the last time. I'm serious like a heart attack, I ain't got nuttin this morn'n.

That cold front hit south Texas last night right on time. Ya see....I were sit'n over there on the couch think'n bout summer heat an' fix'n the bedroom air cond., what the fan don't turn. I notice it were get'n a mite chilly in  "da house", so's I shut the winders and the door....turn on the heater. It's 57 degs out there. What the hell???

Nephew Joseph has one them security lights out in the yard. Any time ya look outside, it look like morn'n an' the sun is com'n up. Whole yard lit up like day time. Well, at 2:45am I wakes up, heads for the bathroom....do my thang. Then I heads to the coffee pot for my morn'n brew. "What time is it Billy Bob?" Look'n out the winder, it looks like morn'n to me. But it ain't. Sheesh....I go's back to bed.

I don't know what it is, but cold winter weather gives me the feel'n of depression. You know what I'm talk'n bout....don't wanna do nuttin, don't wanna think bout nuttin....stuff like that. That's what I feel like this morn'n. Even if'n it is a beautiful day, I ain't gonna do nuttin today. Well, maybe I ain't. You know how the old Billy Bob operates, say one thing, turn round an' do another.

I'm pretty much disgusted with that damn Mississippi riverboat. But I ain't say'n that I'm gonna just hang it on the wall an' forget bout it. I still got me some nifty ideas roll'n round in my head what I ain't tried yet. But not today. Cain't wait to put that sucker in some calm fresh water, see that white smoke com'n out the stacks an' drive it all over the place. Remote control toys is fun.

  Remember when??? It's funny that a person can remember stuff from many years ago and not remember the first thing bout what he did yesterday. I'm talk'n bout stuff I did 60/65 years ago. Those memories are so vivid, they seem like yesterday. Well, maybe not yesterday, 'cause I don't 'member nuttin bout yesterday. But.....as we get older, those memories seem to fade away. Mine anyhows. Had it not been for this blog, I rekon all my childhood memories would be gone....poooof, just like that.

A while back, I learned how to save blog posts to my computer. Saved everthing....photos included. Come up in a browser winder just like ya was online even when you weren't. I know there's gonna come a time when blogs is gonna be a thing of the past...or blogger is gonna start charg'n $$$ for access. I need to save my blogs before they ain't there no more.

Ok....that's it for the day....laters.

Admission of defeat???

 YEE HAW!!!....this sucks. 71 years of constant study, research, trial an' error and self made engineer'n skills, is down the drain. I hate to admit to defeat, but this damn smoke generator may do it for me. Now I ain't say'n that the smoke generator don't work or nuttin like that, 'cause it do. It works perfectly. Only problem is, the battery only lasts bout 15 minutes.
"So Billy Bob, what ya gonna do now.....add a second battery"?

I'm think'n I spend entirely tooo much time on this computer. Blog read'n, news an' facebook'n every morn'n. Then I get a some strange idea run'n round in my head at all hours of the day......I Google for a while. That takes time, an' time is precious when ya get older. All them important chores what need done are put on the back burner. Now I ain't say'n I don't do my chores or nuttin like that, 'cause I do. Just takes a bit longer to do 'em. I'm think'n it's bout time to make some kind of change. But I know I ain't gonna change for nuttin. Ya cain't change the taste of a lemon.

Boy howdy, this years weather has been kind of weird. There's still people freez'n to death up in the northern states and down here in the south, the winds never cease. Blowed like hell again last night. But not for long. Weren't no rain neither. Kind of makes ya wonder what kind of summer we gonna have.

Ain't nuttin excit'n go'n on at Billy Bob's house other than a few little projects. What I'm bout to run out of. Shoot, I got most everthing fixed, changed an' modified what I been think'n bout for a long time. As soon as I get this damn riverboat project done, it's time to tackle another.

Speak'n of the Mississippi riverboat project, it should have never been started in the first place. It looked just fine sit'n up there on it's perch on the wall. What the hell did I need smoke com'n out the stacks for? I rekon it's a Billy Bob thing. If'n it ain't broke, modify it.

Ok....I got things to do.....laters.

 

Danc'n in Spain

The subject today will be what everbody has been wait'n for....Mississippi river boat.

I spent most of yesterday do'n little household chores, sort'n "stuff", toss'n junk.....stuff like that. Then I got to look'n at all the build'n materials an' stuff on my "hobby" table. I got to clean that table off right now just in case I have company. A clean house is a happy house. Or is that golf balls???

Anyhows, all the wiring, batteries, jury rig connections and the smoke generator was installed in the boat. A switch was installed to the smoke generator so's I can choose between smoke an' no smoke. "Well hell Billy Bob, lets fire that thang up an' see what happen". Oh Oh.....something wrong. There's smoke com'n out everwheres but the smoke stacks. Design error. Not enough clearance between the little fan gizmo and the upper deck (ceiling).

The smoke generator was tore slap apart. This is when I figger out that the new gaskets will not work. They was all shrivel up. The little fan what was on top and outside of the smoke generator, is now installed inside the smoke generator. A new silcone gasket has been installed.

And then I breaked a wire off'n the little bitty switch what controls every thing. Got pissed an' breaked the other one off.

Ok, that's our discussion this morn'n on remote controlled Mississippi River Boats 101. Stay tuned as the saga continues.

Got a kick out of MsB's comment bout "git'n down" to hip hop. Up until I reached the ripe age of 60 year old, I were a dancer....of sorts. Did the cotton eye joe, Texas two step, rattlesnake stomp, head bang'n, rock an' roll....you name it an' the old Billy Bob was out there on the dance floor do'n his moves. I were knowed to do a little dirty danc'n with the hoochie coockie girls too.

I rekon this is as good a time to tell ya bout danc'n in Spain. Ya see, I were in the Navy in the early 60's. We anchored up in Barcelona Spain. Now everbody know what Navy guys do when they drop anchor in a foreign port.....they hit the hot spots in town. Drink a few beers and enjoy them selfs. There was this nice Spanish lady do'n some sort of Spanish dance. She were all decked out in a traditional Spanish danc'n dress, big ol' hair do on top her head, click'n castanets an' stomp'n her high heels on the wooden danc'n floor. Well shoot, I can do that. So's I toss my Navy cap out there on that danc'n floor,  gets up an' do my rendition of a Mexican hat dance. Right there in front of everbody. I were think'n I'm probly gonna go to the brig before this is over, but me an that nice lady danced round my cap till I was wore plumb slap out. Got a stand'n ovation from a bunch of drunk Navy guys an' the local town folk. Memories like that brighten my day.

Gypsy asked what kind of music I listen to. Well, mostly I listen to anything with a good loud bass beat to it. I were brought up on "old" country music, but the country music of today is too whinny, cry in yer beer sort of stuff. Don't listen to much of the "new" country. I get along just fine with the old country of the 40's, 50's an' 60's. I still listen to the "oldies" from the 50's an' 60's on occasion. When I get in the mood, I listen to a little "longhair", what I also crank it up a bit. Folk and bluegrass deserves my attention ever once in a while. But....my all time favorite is Cajun. I love Cajun music and I love Cajun people. Although they do talk funny.
I don't get rap at all. Although it's very popular amungst the younger generation. For some reason, I just don't figger somebody talk'n is what I would call music.