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Saturday, May 25, 2013

Cap't Barnacle Bill an' his sail'n machine

Where ya wanna go today? How bout a boat ride?

Back in bout '93 or 94, I bought me up a sail'n boat. It weren't no wheres as big as the "BIG" sail'n boat I lived on for 7 years. It was a 22 foots Catalina with a great big ol' 5 HP motor hang'n off the back.
Look exactly like this one....only it weren't sit on top the water. It were sunk. Hang'n on the mooring lines, water up to the winders. What the hell, nobody buys a sunk boat. I got it floated and fix that big ol' 5 hp motor hang'n off the back. Hot damn, the old Billy Bob (Barnacle Bill at the time) is gonna be a sail'n boat captain.

I ain't never sail no boat before, this gonna be a new experience. A experience what turn into a death defying adventure real quick like.

I unties all the moor'n lines, fires up that "kicker" motor an' head out to the high seas....Corpus Christi ship channel. Notice I say "ship channel". There's big ol' ships out there. Great big ships. Anyhows, once I motor out to the ship channel, I prepare to raise the main sail. That mean I got to let loose my white knuckle grip on the tiller (steer'n wheel). Rock jettys over there bout a hunnert feets away, an' all kind of boats pass'n by me all over the place. I'm drift'n....motor turn off an' ain't nobody steer'n the boat. I'm sit dead in the water. I start pull'n on this rope an'' the main sail start to raise. Hot damn, that a pretty sight. Then it stop, half ways up. The damn thing got a snag in it an' I cain't reach it. I'm head'n off in the direction of rocks. I works up a good sweat cuss'n an' stuff....pull'n on that rope. Yeee Haw, up goes the sail an' it catches some wind. I fiddle round with some stuff an' finally get 'er go'n on a straight course, right down the middle of the ship channel.

I sits back in the cockpit, chest all poke out, feet prop up, I'm one proud sail'n boat captain whistl'n "Barnacle Bill the Sailor". I ain't been "sail'n" for but a few minutes an' bout that time I hears a loud ass fog horn blow'n, blast'n that sucker three times (3 blasts is a warn'n "git the hell out my way"). I looks back behind me an' HOLY SHIT, there's a great big ass oil tanker ship bear'n down on me, do'n bout 20 knots (nautical term for "a hunnert mile a hour"). If'n ya ain't never been up close to a big ol' ship in a little sail'n boat, ya don't know what pee'n yer pants is. It were huge, bigger than 3 football fields an' a hunnert feets high. YIKES....come on wind.

With a little cuss'n an' adjust'n stuff, that ship go on by me like I was stand'n still. I were skeered half to death, shak'n all over. But it was over....big ol' ship gone, poooof, just like that. Well now, if'n I can out maneuver a ship in close quarters, I'm think'n I can sail this thing.

Sit'n back in the cockpit, chest all poke out, I decide to change course....head up the Lidia Ann channel. A sailboat passes me on the left. A man hollers...."have a good day". Have a good day? Did you see that shit out there in the middle of the channel? I almost got my ass run over by a freak'n ship. That ain't a good day. Off to the north, up the Lidia Ann channel, I see what appears to be a super Walmart headed my way. It's a double wide stacked set of barges.....go'n a hunnert mile a hour. An' he get'n closer. An' I'm in his sights, dead center of the channel. I think I pee my pants again at this time. Well shoot, if'n I can miss a ship, why can't I miss a set of big ass barges?

Bout this time I'm think'n "to hell with sail'n". After danger had passed us by, I grabs holt to the tiller an' heads back towards dock. Back into that "big ass" ship channel. "Fog horn Billy Bob, I hear a fog horn".  I'm go'n bout 2 mile a hour, against the wind and the incoming current in the channel. What would a seasoned sail boat captain do? Fire up the little 5 hp motor an' get the hell out the way. 

Back at the dock I tie up all the moor'n lines, steps back with a poked out chest and proclaim "I'm a sail'n boat captain".

This is a true story from the first day I decided I was gonna learn to sail in a sunk sailboat up until the day I decided to buy a bigger sail'n boat. I have more "adventures" in my quest to learn to sail this little 22 foot sail'n boat, but will leave them for another day.

14 comments:

  1. Nothing like a big ol' ship coming at ya to teach ya real quick how to get outta the way!

    I can picture all this in my mind as I read it. I couldn't help it...I did grin a LOT!

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    1. Jim, I try very hard to present a " mind picture" through my writing style. I'm complimented by your comment. Thank you.

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  2. I'll bet this was a whole lot more fun to read about than it was to experience it!!! It did make for a good story, though.

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    1. Oh yes it is much more fun to read an' write than live some adventures/experiences. At least I don't pee my pants writ'n this one.

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  3. Different strokes for different folks.

    If that had been ME in your shoes...it would have taught me that I did not want to be a ship boat captain and I would have put a "for sale" on that sucker :D

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    1. MsB, I've had a very adventurous life and have had to do some strange things to to change experiences into adventure. I did finally receive my "white" capt'ns cap, hand'n down the "rookie blue" cap to a grandson. He is now in the Navy.

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  4. Just think what would have happened if'n you were in the "babba boat".

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  5. Boy did that bring back memories. I've got some pee making stories too ;-)

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    1. Hi kristine, good to see ya again. I sure would like to sit back an' listen some your adventure stories.

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  6. How bout returning to slip-- wind and current both against us. Engine dies just as make turn into slip Boat turns 180 to slip I'm running all over deck fending off the other boats we come too close to. While hubby frantically trying to restart motor. Of course there was a large audience watching. Eventually was able to get engine restarted and backed out of fairway and tried again-- success! Or time we sailed small boat down estuary-- caught strong wind gust as we passed between two large buildings. Capsized! right in front of a coast guard cutter. It was moored there. All the coasties rushed out to rescue us. They wanted to tow the boat with the sail up upside down to our dock. We righted it and graciously accepted their tow to the dock. Another large audience. Last one-- First night sail (San Francisco Bay) Peaceful, full moon, calm seas and suddenly stopped dead in the water. No crash-- just stopped suddenly. Couldn't figure what happened-- We hit something though. Had to have boat hauled to see if any damage to hull. Scratched paint and fiberglass. Haulout place said was probably a submerged log. I still think it was a whale.

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  8. I thought that boats under sail have the right of way.

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    1. They normally do have right of way over power boats. But a ship or a herd of barges....nope.

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    2. I like that - "a herd of barges". Ya gave me a good laugh, and I thank you.

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