This is a continuation of yesterdays quote of "Billy Bob, you a idiot". Now why somebody would say something like that amazes me. Oh wait.....I said that.
Ya see, it's like this.....I don't always make the soundest of judgements...or in this case, decisions. Any doctor with a degree of some sort, even a veterinarian, would never suggest a "quick round of golf" acceptable in my latest condition. I thought I was gonna die. Hurted everwheres.
After I had swak my first three balls, I knowed I was in deep trouble. Them balls didn't go nowheres close to where I was aim'n at. Who the hell in their right mind would aim at trees? Out of 18 tee shots, I had one (1) ball land in the fareway.....probly bounced off'n a tree. By the time we reached the 16th hole, I was ready to give it up. Send Barney on to finish the last 3 holes and come back an' pick me up. I was beat up from that big toe all the ways up to the top my head. Hobble round the golf course look'n for my poorly struck golf balls like some kind of old cripple, or something like that. I thought I was gonna die.
OFM Barney don't know it, but the old Billy Bob farted 4 times while we was sit'n there in that Mexican restaurant. Although he did look at me kind of funny one time. Give me one them "Oh God, you didn't fart did ya?" looks. We had us some pretty dag gum good eat'n even if'n I do say so myself. The coffee was a close balance between fair an' sucks.
Well anyhows....after I got back to "da house" to lay down on the couch to pamper my wounds....I thought I was gonna die. My legs start cramp'n, that dad gum big toe was all swoled up an hurt'n and I fart a couple more times. A soothing nap was out of the question. It was a aspirin, alka seltzer, foot bath, muscle massage kind of afternoon.
Since I was supposed to go to Walmart in Aransas Pass yesterday to pick up my meds, I might head over that way this afternoon. This don't fit the 'procrastination' theory, but let me tell ya right now, I do knows how to procrastinate. For those who don't know how, it's so freak'n easy it would make your head spin. Ya just don't do it, put it off...until a later date. Works for me. It could work for you.
Ok, I ain't got nuttin I'm gonna do....laters.
Ya see, it's like this.....I don't always make the soundest of judgements...or in this case, decisions. Any doctor with a degree of some sort, even a veterinarian, would never suggest a "quick round of golf" acceptable in my latest condition. I thought I was gonna die. Hurted everwheres.
After I had swak my first three balls, I knowed I was in deep trouble. Them balls didn't go nowheres close to where I was aim'n at. Who the hell in their right mind would aim at trees? Out of 18 tee shots, I had one (1) ball land in the fareway.....probly bounced off'n a tree. By the time we reached the 16th hole, I was ready to give it up. Send Barney on to finish the last 3 holes and come back an' pick me up. I was beat up from that big toe all the ways up to the top my head. Hobble round the golf course look'n for my poorly struck golf balls like some kind of old cripple, or something like that. I thought I was gonna die.
OFM Barney don't know it, but the old Billy Bob farted 4 times while we was sit'n there in that Mexican restaurant. Although he did look at me kind of funny one time. Give me one them "Oh God, you didn't fart did ya?" looks. We had us some pretty dag gum good eat'n even if'n I do say so myself. The coffee was a close balance between fair an' sucks.
Well anyhows....after I got back to "da house" to lay down on the couch to pamper my wounds....I thought I was gonna die. My legs start cramp'n, that dad gum big toe was all swoled up an hurt'n and I fart a couple more times. A soothing nap was out of the question. It was a aspirin, alka seltzer, foot bath, muscle massage kind of afternoon.
Since I was supposed to go to Walmart in Aransas Pass yesterday to pick up my meds, I might head over that way this afternoon. This don't fit the 'procrastination' theory, but let me tell ya right now, I do knows how to procrastinate. For those who don't know how, it's so freak'n easy it would make your head spin. Ya just don't do it, put it off...until a later date. Works for me. It could work for you.
Ok, I ain't got nuttin I'm gonna do....laters.
You are so freaking funny, thanks for the laughs today BB!
ReplyDeleteIt's purty easy be'n funny when all ya do is stupit stuff. Glad ya enjoyed read'n bout all the "stupit stuff" I do.
DeleteI think you might even be a better procrastinator than I am. My grandfather used to use Absorbine for everything that ails ya. He used it on himself, his kids, his farm animals. I wonder if they still sell it and if so, it might be just what your swollen toe needs.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I need to put anything on that big ol' toe. Just stay off'n it a little bit longer.
DeleteJust got home from a wonderful day of wade fishing on Mustang Island. I don't hurt any particular place just all over more than anywhere else. I am ready to see you play again tomorrow. I will just watch from the sidelines in a recliner with a cold drink.
ReplyDeleteSure am glad you feel better enough to go wade fish'n. I would fall down for sure.
DeleteTomorrow? What the hell you talk'n bout tomorrow? I'm think'n I might give it a go this Friday afternoon. A well tuned guitar play some beautiful music.
Sounds like a pretty tough day at the golf course! Just how bad was the score? Or do we really want to know?
ReplyDeleteWell hell no I ain't gonna tell ya the score. You think I'm nut or something like that.
DeleteYou bet it was a tough day. Ain't gonna do that again. But, I only losed by one stroke, so I don't feel tooo bad.
Actually we don't really know the score. Two senile old farts trying to remember how many strokes we took bouncing balls around in the trees is more guess work than reality. Sometimes we just put down what feels good for a number. Then at the end a beat into submission OFM trying to remember which fingers and toes had already been used was impossible. So my guess is that the final score was between 50 and 180 each. BB said that since I hurt less I must be the winner or was that whiner. Any way it was great that it was a golf club in our hands instead of a shovel, although sometimes I moved enough dirt to have been using a shovel.
DeleteThe next time I need a garden spaded I will get a dozen golf balls and have you and Barney bring your golf clubs (grin).
ReplyDeleteLooks like you had a bunch of painful fun.
ReplyDeletebe careful with them old bones!