Boy howdy, I'm still alive. I had my doubts though. If it had only been stomach rumbles I could have handled that. But, oh hell no, I had me some terrible headaches what wouldn't go away, neck pain like somebody sucker punch me, an' somebody set a stick of dynamite off in my right hip. There was nothing excit'n happen at Billy Bob's house yesterday.
I was ride'n a horse one time. The damn horse left me up there in the mountains to walk all the way back. Holy cows, that was way back in 1958. Ya see, I always wanted to be a cowboy, ride'n horses, throw'n cows on the ground....you know, stuff like that. Have ya ever go "cow tip'n" at night? Yeah, I did that too. Anyhows, I goes down to the horse rental place an' rent me up a big ol' horse. Gonna ride up to the mountains....ha, round up some stray steers, rustle up some outlaws. I are a cowboy ya know. I got me a African safari hat on, black Levies an' a tee an' a borried pair of ride'n boots. Didn't find no stray cows or any outlaws, just sand, rocks an' desert brush. Ain't see nobody. I was five mile from the horse rental place an' it were hot like blazes. That horse is sweat'n up a storm an' want'n to go to "da house". But I didn't know that at the time.
We stop for some refreshments an' a sammich I brung along. I pour some water in my African safari hat for the horse. He rolls them big black eyes at me, take a few swallers an'.....poooof, he was gone, just like that. He leave me stand'n there with a "dumb ass" look on my face. All I see is a dust trail go'n down in the valley. That horse was go'n home. Remember them "borried" boots I was tell'n ya bout? Well, they was bout two sizes too big. Blisters....did I ever tell ya bout blisters? My god, by the time I got down the mountain an' back home, I had blisters on top of blisters. Damn "crazy horse"!
*Snaps fingers*.....just like that, it's cold. First the rain come down in buckets. Then the wind pick up. The temp drop to 48 degs. Sure am glad I ain't in one them northern states, like North Texas. I really don't like this shit.
I was ride'n a horse one time. The damn horse left me up there in the mountains to walk all the way back. Holy cows, that was way back in 1958. Ya see, I always wanted to be a cowboy, ride'n horses, throw'n cows on the ground....you know, stuff like that. Have ya ever go "cow tip'n" at night? Yeah, I did that too. Anyhows, I goes down to the horse rental place an' rent me up a big ol' horse. Gonna ride up to the mountains....ha, round up some stray steers, rustle up some outlaws. I are a cowboy ya know. I got me a African safari hat on, black Levies an' a tee an' a borried pair of ride'n boots. Didn't find no stray cows or any outlaws, just sand, rocks an' desert brush. Ain't see nobody. I was five mile from the horse rental place an' it were hot like blazes. That horse is sweat'n up a storm an' want'n to go to "da house". But I didn't know that at the time.
We stop for some refreshments an' a sammich I brung along. I pour some water in my African safari hat for the horse. He rolls them big black eyes at me, take a few swallers an'.....poooof, he was gone, just like that. He leave me stand'n there with a "dumb ass" look on my face. All I see is a dust trail go'n down in the valley. That horse was go'n home. Remember them "borried" boots I was tell'n ya bout? Well, they was bout two sizes too big. Blisters....did I ever tell ya bout blisters? My god, by the time I got down the mountain an' back home, I had blisters on top of blisters. Damn "crazy horse"!
*Snaps fingers*.....just like that, it's cold. First the rain come down in buckets. Then the wind pick up. The temp drop to 48 degs. Sure am glad I ain't in one them northern states, like North Texas. I really don't like this shit.
Trouble 'n Texas sent the bad weather over here to me so I sent it on down to you. Share and share alike, right?
ReplyDeleteYou lucky there, we at that northern state near Fort Worthm 28 degrees here right now,brrrrrrr....
ReplyDeleteWas at the fishing pier a bit earlier in tee shirt and shorts. No fish caught. Ratzzzzzzz.
ReplyDeleteRain in PHX since early last night. I kinda hoped it flooded between me and work, but no luck. Rain here is like snow in Nashville, TN. It happens so seldom that the idea is the same, just stay home till it dries. In Nashville they close schools on the FORECAST of snow, and advise workers to stay home till 10:30 am when the snow will have melted. Last evening the 6pm workers coming in warned us it was getting cold out there. The temp guage on the Jeep when I left said 62 degrees.
ReplyDeleteGetting colder b the minute here in east Tennessee too. I'm a chillin' awful bad. Do you think maybe that falling on your head caused the head aching? Can't be too careful about those head bumps, BB. Everything is connected to another part. Stay safe, Guy, an I mean it.
ReplyDeleteYou have had some adventures in your life Billy Bob, and we all love hearing about them. At least you live to tell the tale.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your horse story. Hope you asked for a partial refund after having to walk back in your "borried pair of ride'n boots"....jajajajajaja!
ReplyDelete"Sure am glad I ain't in one them northern states, like North Texas."
ReplyDeleteToday's post merits a double comment! I about fell on the floor from laughter after reading the above :D