"Don't eat the chili"!!! Holy cows, who made this stuff?
Ya see, I was want'n some Billy Bob south Texas chili. I picked up all the make'ns at Walmart. Throwed it all in a big ol' pot an' commenced to cook'n. "That sure are a lot of grease in that pot Billy Bob". A little grease never hurt nobody....I keep on a cook'n. I throws all the season'n in there......something don't taste right. Generic shit....never use generic season'n in a pot of chili...."ya cheap bastard"!
It tastes somewhat like chili, not what I was expect'n. I grabs up a bowl full. OK, I can eat that. "You gonna be sicker an' a dog Billy Bob....don't eat it". Boy howdy you got that right. I was burn'n all the ways down to my toenails.....burp'n an' fart'n all night long. OFM Barney thinked it was funny. Alka Seltzer fix anything. Well most times it do.
I feel so bad this morn'n I didn't even get up. Just lay there in bed feel'n sorry for myself. Bout 9:30 I roll out of bed. I got things to do in the bathroom....brush my hair ya know. What the hell did I eat?
Actually, yesterday was a beautiful day. The sun was shin'n, it was warm an' not much wind to speak of. I'm go'n fish'n. I puts a big ol' green worm on my hook an' I heads for the fish'n hole. Ok, so there ain't no fish. That ain't my fault. These last few days of terrible weather spook them fish.....scare hell out 'em. That's my story......may as well stick to it.
Sadie Mae says "let's go to the other fish'n hole". There's got to be fish there in all them rocks an' boulders, drop offs an' stuff like that. Ain't no fish there neither. Where all the fish? Anyhows, I ain't catch me up no fish yesterday. An' I did try.
What I'm gonna do today is probly start get'n "Sally da house" ready to roll south in the next few days. Ain't in no big hurry ya know, but damn, it's get'n cold in Del Rio. Any time I have to sit in "da house" all day look'n out the winders, it's time to change location. But what the hell, it's winter, that's what folks do when it's too cold to go outside. By south Texas standards, cold is in the lower 40's at night an' below 65 in the day time. We got that clear....right? *Dad gum yankees an' Canadians probly laugh'n their azz's off at the old Billy Bob freez'n his azz off* I'll buy that.
Ya see, I was want'n some Billy Bob south Texas chili. I picked up all the make'ns at Walmart. Throwed it all in a big ol' pot an' commenced to cook'n. "That sure are a lot of grease in that pot Billy Bob". A little grease never hurt nobody....I keep on a cook'n. I throws all the season'n in there......something don't taste right. Generic shit....never use generic season'n in a pot of chili...."ya cheap bastard"!
It tastes somewhat like chili, not what I was expect'n. I grabs up a bowl full. OK, I can eat that. "You gonna be sicker an' a dog Billy Bob....don't eat it". Boy howdy you got that right. I was burn'n all the ways down to my toenails.....burp'n an' fart'n all night long. OFM Barney thinked it was funny. Alka Seltzer fix anything. Well most times it do.
I feel so bad this morn'n I didn't even get up. Just lay there in bed feel'n sorry for myself. Bout 9:30 I roll out of bed. I got things to do in the bathroom....brush my hair ya know. What the hell did I eat?
Actually, yesterday was a beautiful day. The sun was shin'n, it was warm an' not much wind to speak of. I'm go'n fish'n. I puts a big ol' green worm on my hook an' I heads for the fish'n hole. Ok, so there ain't no fish. That ain't my fault. These last few days of terrible weather spook them fish.....scare hell out 'em. That's my story......may as well stick to it.
Sadie Mae says "let's go to the other fish'n hole". There's got to be fish there in all them rocks an' boulders, drop offs an' stuff like that. Ain't no fish there neither. Where all the fish? Anyhows, I ain't catch me up no fish yesterday. An' I did try.
What I'm gonna do today is probly start get'n "Sally da house" ready to roll south in the next few days. Ain't in no big hurry ya know, but damn, it's get'n cold in Del Rio. Any time I have to sit in "da house" all day look'n out the winders, it's time to change location. But what the hell, it's winter, that's what folks do when it's too cold to go outside. By south Texas standards, cold is in the lower 40's at night an' below 65 in the day time. We got that clear....right? *Dad gum yankees an' Canadians probly laugh'n their azz's off at the old Billy Bob freez'n his azz off* I'll buy that.
So did you ever figure out what was wrong with the chili? You didn't save the rest of it, I hope, or you will just go through the same misery again!
ReplyDeleteI can always depend on your comments to brighten a dreary day.
DeleteCheap seasoning, that's what runes a good pot of chili. Well yes I saved the rest of it. I still got chili spaghetti to make ya know. I'm gonna eat all I can....plenty alka seltzer on hand.
Dang BB, you just haven't had chili for awhile and you were not use to it. . . BTW, later this week it is suppose to get down in the thirties, so you better head south a bit more, say around Brownsville?
ReplyDeleteWhat you talk'n bout Dizzy Dick? I eat jalepeno tacos for breakfast. Use 16 penny nails to pick the seeds out my teeth. Drink fresh squeeze Gaterade to wash it down.....Ha, ain't used to it.
DeleteDon't let the little cold we have been having scare you.
ReplyDeleteHope you can stay a little longer so I can go visit you but by the time I get through with my chores it is late afternoon and that would not give us enough visiting time before it gets dark and I can not drive at night anymore.
Billy Bob skeered??? What you talk'n bout girl.....I ain't skeered nuttin.
DeleteI was watch'n for "dad's" car today, 'spect'n you might show up for a visit.
Look'n at the weather forecast, come Tuesday morn'n, this old boy be headed south before the first freeze. Snow headed this way ya know.
I wanted some chili & went to the store (it wasn't walmart that day) to take a look at the seasoning packets. I actually read what was in them! The cheapest one was a house brand, it had "Chili powder, spices, flour." The rest cost more and had more stuff in them, I can put salt in if I want...
ReplyDeleteTurned out to be good stuff!
That store was in Iowa... I went looking here & found one like the other one, I spent more money on it but it had the same listed ingredients on the package. Not bad eating either...
May be that meatfrom wallyland washiding that amoeba.That little bug will always have your pants around your ankles.
ReplyDeleteYa gotta have good spices to make good food, no sense wastin that pot of chili thou.
ReplyDeleteI can never find 'cheap' seasoning but I don't shop at Wal*Mart. I do use Sazon Goya which is relatively cheap and adds some spice to my chili and stews. I also add a packet of it to my bottle of home made hot sauce which I sprinkle/squirt on almost everything else that I cook.
ReplyDelete