Some things are butterflies float'n round in my mind.....others are reality.
I was borned in a era when the adult male lived to the ripe old age of somewheres bout 60 years.....if'n he was lucky. I was one them WWll babys, Sept. 1941. I didn't start school until after the war was over. Long bout my first year of school, I was indoctrinated into the "you gonna die" theory. A theory created by widows an' decrepit "old folks" lay'n on their death beds at 45 year old. 50 year old men sit'n on "da porch" in wheelchairs.....stuff like that. Young men barely in their 40's wrinkled an' sun brazen from 12 an' 14 hour work days. This is where I come from. I learn at a early age that when you reach 70 year old, you was officially "old". That's my story, an' I'm stick'n to it.
Boy howdy, yesterday was a success. Jump in "that jeep" with my shop'n list an' head off to town. Although everthing on my list wasn't purchased of completed, it was a good day. Drop off my empty drug bottles to be refilled to be pick up on my return (Walmart). Head for Port Aransas. Pick up my mail, what contained a check from the University of Texas from 12 year ago. "Yeee haw Billy Bob, you rich". Drop by the bank an' git me some pocket change. Buy up some smokes an' I'm out of here.
Back in Aransas Pass, I get'n kind of hungry. Churches Chicken. I goes inside, they ain't got no chicken on the rack. What the hell, where the chicken? There ain't none in the fryers, weren't none nowheres.....where the hell is my chicken? Stuff like that piss off the old Billy Bob, so he has to say something....contain'n cuss'n words....stuff like that. I'm out of here.
I pulls into Walmart. Find me a park'n place close to the door.....I'm old, remember. They ain't got all my meds. The one what controls my heart rate won't be there till tomorrow. Damn!!! Then I go shopp'n. Boy howdy let me tell ya, I did some shopp'n. I was throw'n stuff in my cart I probly ain't never gonna use. Well, yes I will. Don't know how long I'll use it....probly till it's work. New bicycle seat. Exercise thingy. Practice golf'n balls....got frick'n holes in 'em. Wonder if'n a damn goat will eat plastic golf'n balls with holes in 'em? An' last but not least, I buy me a "Herman" for the couch.
If'n ya ain't never had a Herman before, that's the silly look'n brown pillow thingy, they are some kind of comfortable. Back in '80, after I get out the hospital for a back injury, my darling wife....that the one I don't like much, she buy me one these pillow thingys. I love it so much, I name it...."Herman". For lower back pain, or any kind of back pain for that matter, these Hermans work just fine to help find a wonderful out of this world comfort zone. Hee Hee...they good for afternoon nap'n too.
A hunnert dollar for groceries, back to Churches Chicken for a 10 pac, I head for "da house". It's a hunnert ninety degs out there, humidity bout 99.999 fine Canadian gold standard. Sure glad Sadie Mae stay at home in air cond. comfort. Yup, yesterday was a success.
Another bad night last night. I was all sleepy an' stuff, so I go to bed. Toss an' turn for a hour....damn my back hurts. Get up for a hour, then back to bed. This go on till the wee hours of the morn'n. I need some sleep.
Ok, I got a bicycle seat to install.....I'm out of here. Laters.
I was borned in a era when the adult male lived to the ripe old age of somewheres bout 60 years.....if'n he was lucky. I was one them WWll babys, Sept. 1941. I didn't start school until after the war was over. Long bout my first year of school, I was indoctrinated into the "you gonna die" theory. A theory created by widows an' decrepit "old folks" lay'n on their death beds at 45 year old. 50 year old men sit'n on "da porch" in wheelchairs.....stuff like that. Young men barely in their 40's wrinkled an' sun brazen from 12 an' 14 hour work days. This is where I come from. I learn at a early age that when you reach 70 year old, you was officially "old". That's my story, an' I'm stick'n to it.
Boy howdy, yesterday was a success. Jump in "that jeep" with my shop'n list an' head off to town. Although everthing on my list wasn't purchased of completed, it was a good day. Drop off my empty drug bottles to be refilled to be pick up on my return (Walmart). Head for Port Aransas. Pick up my mail, what contained a check from the University of Texas from 12 year ago. "Yeee haw Billy Bob, you rich". Drop by the bank an' git me some pocket change. Buy up some smokes an' I'm out of here.
Back in Aransas Pass, I get'n kind of hungry. Churches Chicken. I goes inside, they ain't got no chicken on the rack. What the hell, where the chicken? There ain't none in the fryers, weren't none nowheres.....where the hell is my chicken? Stuff like that piss off the old Billy Bob, so he has to say something....contain'n cuss'n words....stuff like that. I'm out of here.
I pulls into Walmart. Find me a park'n place close to the door.....I'm old, remember. They ain't got all my meds. The one what controls my heart rate won't be there till tomorrow. Damn!!! Then I go shopp'n. Boy howdy let me tell ya, I did some shopp'n. I was throw'n stuff in my cart I probly ain't never gonna use. Well, yes I will. Don't know how long I'll use it....probly till it's work. New bicycle seat. Exercise thingy. Practice golf'n balls....got frick'n holes in 'em. Wonder if'n a damn goat will eat plastic golf'n balls with holes in 'em? An' last but not least, I buy me a "Herman" for the couch.
If'n ya ain't never had a Herman before, that's the silly look'n brown pillow thingy, they are some kind of comfortable. Back in '80, after I get out the hospital for a back injury, my darling wife....that the one I don't like much, she buy me one these pillow thingys. I love it so much, I name it...."Herman". For lower back pain, or any kind of back pain for that matter, these Hermans work just fine to help find a wonderful out of this world comfort zone. Hee Hee...they good for afternoon nap'n too.
A hunnert dollar for groceries, back to Churches Chicken for a 10 pac, I head for "da house". It's a hunnert ninety degs out there, humidity bout 99.999 fine Canadian gold standard. Sure glad Sadie Mae stay at home in air cond. comfort. Yup, yesterday was a success.
Another bad night last night. I was all sleepy an' stuff, so I go to bed. Toss an' turn for a hour....damn my back hurts. Get up for a hour, then back to bed. This go on till the wee hours of the morn'n. I need some sleep.
Ok, I got a bicycle seat to install.....I'm out of here. Laters.
Nothing like a successful day to make for a good nap!
ReplyDeleteI sleep better napping than I do at night in bed! Wonder why that is?
70 isn't old, wait another 5 years then you might be old! ;-)
ReplyDeleteI hope I am still around to hear what you say when you reach 80. . .
ReplyDeleteI had a good laugh about "your darling wife...the one you don't like so much" lol Billy Bob if I have said it once I will say it again...you missed your calling...comedy writer D
ReplyDeleteYou sure bought a lot of stuff at Walmart...hope you own some of their stock!
You are right about this getting old stuff. We have quite a few bonus years more than our ancestors and keep getting more every year. Now you can ride your bicycle even further.
ReplyDelete