Let's face it, the old Billy Bob is jist bout on his last leg. I ain't talk'n bout no broke leg or nuttin like that, I'm talk'n bout that ol' "cain't do nuttin no more".....run slap out of steam, stuff like that.
Ya see, it's like this, that damn goat was out there chew'n on my stuff again. So's I chase his ass round the yard lickitity split bout a hunnert mile a hour, cuss'n an' stuff if'n ya really want to know. Holy crap, I thought I was gonna die chas'n that damn goat. Couldn't get a breath of air....wheez'n an' cough'n up a storm. "Damn goat"!!!
But that weren't all. My heart was beat'n a hunnert mile a hour too. Heart rate somewheres bout 130bpm or something like that. But it ain't my heart what I worry bout, it's the shortness of breath what is kill'n me. Gotta sit down ever 2 minutes, light up a smoke, an' then start chas'n that goat some more. Gonna have a good talk'n to that "damn goat" if'n I ever catches him. "Cough cough cough, wheeze wheeze wheeze, wait for me goat".
I am well aware of what "they" say bout what smok'n does to ya. Makes ya short of breath....right? I been preach to all my life bout the awful sin of smok'n an' what it do to your lungs. Ok, I ain't in a 100% agreement with that. That's one the reason I smoke. Ain't nobody tell Billy Bob what he gonna do. The other reason is 'cause I am eat up with the "addiction". Cain't seem to do a damn thing without a smoke hang'n out my lips. So I suffer the consequences of not catch'n that "damn goat".
Another good example of what I'm talk'n bout is, even a ride to town in "that jeep" wears me slap out. I went to every dad gum R/V store in Corpus Christi yesterday look'n for that freak'n thermostat. Ride over a hunnert miles. Would you believe they don't make that thermostat no more..... pooof, they gone, just like that. The replacement digital thermostat to replace mine runs just a bit over a hunnert dollar. Anyhows, by the time I left the second RV store, my hip an' back was kill'n me. What the hell?? I park as close to the front door as I could so I don't have far to walk, an' I still got three more RV stores to check out. I cain't do much more this walk'n stuff.
On the return trip back through Corpus Christi, I come upon a Edwin Watts golf stuff sell'n place. I'm need'n a new grip for my "automatic" putter. I whips right in their park'n lot, jumps out "that jeeep" an' goes inside. Oh my god, they got a hunnert choices of putter grips. What one do I buy? Well shoot, that's easy. I choose a brand spank'n new senior flex Cobra Amp offset driver....that what I done.
Oh wait, we was talk'n bout a putter grip. Yeah, I got me one them too. Ain't gonna be miss'n no more them 3 foot putts.
Back to "da house", I lay myself on the floor for bout a hour. Dad gum hip is hurt'n like a sum-a -gun....but that ain't the way I describe it. I swear, there's a old rusty 16 penny nail in my hip. That sucker never ever quit hurt'n. Well maybe a little bit if'n I got my mind on something like golf'n....stuff like that ya know.
I go outside an' swak a few balls with that new driver. I rares back an' give it my best shot. Yeeee haw!!!.....ZAAAZOOOOM, there go that golf'n ball a hunnert mile a hour....right where I was a aim'n it at. May be some modifications in the near future though....damn shaft is too long by bout a inch....or something like that.
Back to the elusive thermostat. Ok, they no longer make 'em like what I got. I get on the internet. Ain't nobody got one. So's I start Googl'n "replacement". Well I want you lookie here, some smart feller figgered out how to install a cheap Walmart special digital thermostat in place of the Duo Therm analog thermostat. Hunter model #4229b or #42995. I suppose that what I'm gonna do after I make another trip to town. Damn, that mean I got to walk some more.
Ya see, it's like this, that damn goat was out there chew'n on my stuff again. So's I chase his ass round the yard lickitity split bout a hunnert mile a hour, cuss'n an' stuff if'n ya really want to know. Holy crap, I thought I was gonna die chas'n that damn goat. Couldn't get a breath of air....wheez'n an' cough'n up a storm. "Damn goat"!!!
But that weren't all. My heart was beat'n a hunnert mile a hour too. Heart rate somewheres bout 130bpm or something like that. But it ain't my heart what I worry bout, it's the shortness of breath what is kill'n me. Gotta sit down ever 2 minutes, light up a smoke, an' then start chas'n that goat some more. Gonna have a good talk'n to that "damn goat" if'n I ever catches him. "Cough cough cough, wheeze wheeze wheeze, wait for me goat".
I am well aware of what "they" say bout what smok'n does to ya. Makes ya short of breath....right? I been preach to all my life bout the awful sin of smok'n an' what it do to your lungs. Ok, I ain't in a 100% agreement with that. That's one the reason I smoke. Ain't nobody tell Billy Bob what he gonna do. The other reason is 'cause I am eat up with the "addiction". Cain't seem to do a damn thing without a smoke hang'n out my lips. So I suffer the consequences of not catch'n that "damn goat".
Another good example of what I'm talk'n bout is, even a ride to town in "that jeep" wears me slap out. I went to every dad gum R/V store in Corpus Christi yesterday look'n for that freak'n thermostat. Ride over a hunnert miles. Would you believe they don't make that thermostat no more..... pooof, they gone, just like that. The replacement digital thermostat to replace mine runs just a bit over a hunnert dollar. Anyhows, by the time I left the second RV store, my hip an' back was kill'n me. What the hell?? I park as close to the front door as I could so I don't have far to walk, an' I still got three more RV stores to check out. I cain't do much more this walk'n stuff.
On the return trip back through Corpus Christi, I come upon a Edwin Watts golf stuff sell'n place. I'm need'n a new grip for my "automatic" putter. I whips right in their park'n lot, jumps out "that jeeep" an' goes inside. Oh my god, they got a hunnert choices of putter grips. What one do I buy? Well shoot, that's easy. I choose a brand spank'n new senior flex Cobra Amp offset driver....that what I done.
Oh wait, we was talk'n bout a putter grip. Yeah, I got me one them too. Ain't gonna be miss'n no more them 3 foot putts.
Back to "da house", I lay myself on the floor for bout a hour. Dad gum hip is hurt'n like a sum-a -gun....but that ain't the way I describe it. I swear, there's a old rusty 16 penny nail in my hip. That sucker never ever quit hurt'n. Well maybe a little bit if'n I got my mind on something like golf'n....stuff like that ya know.
I go outside an' swak a few balls with that new driver. I rares back an' give it my best shot. Yeeee haw!!!.....ZAAAZOOOOM, there go that golf'n ball a hunnert mile a hour....right where I was a aim'n it at. May be some modifications in the near future though....damn shaft is too long by bout a inch....or something like that.
Back to the elusive thermostat. Ok, they no longer make 'em like what I got. I get on the internet. Ain't nobody got one. So's I start Googl'n "replacement". Well I want you lookie here, some smart feller figgered out how to install a cheap Walmart special digital thermostat in place of the Duo Therm analog thermostat. Hunter model #4229b or #42995. I suppose that what I'm gonna do after I make another trip to town. Damn, that mean I got to walk some more.
Like my ole Mom always told me, "getting old ain't for sissies". Now I know what she was talking about.
ReplyDeleteI don't know Dizzy. Think'n "body abuse" ain't got nuttin to do with get'n old. Now I ain't say'n get'n old don't slow a man down just a bit from barfaritis an' stuff like that, but when ya do stuff to your body what ya ain't supposed to do, that what I talk'n bout. Abuse...the #1 crippler of the American male species. We do stipit stuff.
DeleteI just can't stand all the stuff they've made digital when I prefer analog. I have a new digital thermostat in my house and can't work the damn thing. I want to just turn a dial to the right or to the left to adjust it - same thing with a radio or tv.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on the addiction thing. I have such a nicotine addiction it is sometimes unbearable, but I haven't had a smoke since Aug. 2004. All it would take is one cigarette and I'd be right back to 2 packs a day within a week or two. Why haven't they prosecuted the guys who got the bright idea to add something to the already addictive cigarettes to make people need more of them.
Congratulations on the new driver. I hope it helps you to put drives in the fairway for a change. HEHEHE.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you did good on the new golf stuff! Now just need to get it out on the course!
ReplyDeleteWe had a problem with our thermostat few years ago, Got some electrical contact cleaner, took it apart sprayed it all up and works like new for a year or two then do it all over again. worth a try...
ReplyDeleteCheap fix....
Billy if you want me to check my local store for that thermostat i would be happy to. Just give me the model number and I can check in the morning. I can send it down to you. I would be happy to help.
ReplyDeletewell,well,well . if you shoot the goat " he can't run". and you wont be out of air. lol... know smoking sticks on the other hand I can't say nothing about that. when I quit well I went to dip stuff. t-stat like George said try contact cleaner. know that you have a new driver maybe I can use the one I used playing with you, I liked it.lol... i'll be headed to Jackson Mississippi, Monday . do some battery work. miss and love ya take care.
ReplyDelete