Thursday, October 20, 2011

Think'n back to the past

I were tickle pink yesterday with all the comments bout beans in chili. I were expect'n sympathetic comments bout how hard I been work'n an' some suggestions on how to fix all this broke stuff, but all I got was "beans" comments.

Well, I won't be talk'n bout chili (with beans) today that for sure, but you can bet yer bippy I know how to make the stuff. In fact, this pot of chili is one the bestest I brewed up in the last 5 year. It so close to perfect it would amaze the judges at any "chili cook off" competition in any part of the country.  Except for them damn beans float'n round in there. I come in second place in competition with this same recipe back in bout 1989 or so. In that same same year, I come in first place in the "rusty bucket" parade for "best of show" with an old rusted out 1972 VW bus. Still got that trophy somewheres in my collection of junk.

Speak'n of beans. Real beans. We as a group of bout 15 of us, (University of Texas maintenance crew and a few from the boat crew) took our yearly fish'n trip to Choke Canyon State Park where we rented one them enclosed cabin enclosures to store hundreds of pound of fish'n stuff and groceries for a week. Old carpenter Ron breaks out his big ol' cook'n pot, fill it up with a couple three gallon water and bout 5# of butter beans an some ham hocks.  Put that big ol' pot on the fire an' off we go fish'n. Now when we gets back a few hours later, them beans is all tender and ready to eat.....along with the regular conglomeration of camp cook'n. Bout 9 a clock pm we was all break'n out sleep'n bags and cots for a good night of sleep...in the enclosed air tight cabin shelter. Snor'n started right round 10 a clock. And then......RIPPPPP, someone done let one loose. Then on the other side the room.....RIPPPP, there go another. By 11 a clock pm, the whole room were full of these god awful  RIPPPPP's.... like ya never hear in yer whole life. People is go'n outside....sleep'n bags an' blankets under arm. The house was vacated and left to the critters of the woods. This is a true story so don't be add'n nuttin to it.

Did I ever tell ya bout the time..... In Port Aransas, Texas, we had a yearly "anything that will float but a boat" race competition in the harbor.  I were gonna win this year....I were sure of it. I took this old bicycle an' build me a paddle wheeler out it. Complete with a styrofoam outriggers so's it don't turn over or sink, a rudder where the front wheel go an' a great big ol' sail (wisht I knowed where that pic was at). I had it all decked out with flags an' stuff and even a pair of oversize granny underdrawers hang'n from the mast. Hot damn, that were one good look'n rig. But it didn't work out like I had planned it to. Oh it peddle paddled just fine....go'n a hunnert mile a hour. That when something go wrong. Ya see, when I build that paddle wheel, I use screws instead of bolts to hold it together....and all them screws come loose. All the peddl'n I do, that thang don't go nowheres. Just sit there dead in the water, while all them other boats is headed for the finish line. Well hell, put the sail up and sail cross the finish line.....ya still got a chance to save face. Up go the sail...."there ain't no wind Billy Bob". I stuck...stranded...all by my self.....red face embarrassed.  Fortunately, there were a Coast Guard boat at the festivities....what come out and rescue me. I were the first one to the turn around point and the last one to the finish line. Damn that was a fun day.

Break time....look out "da porch", here I comes.

5:30 pm.....The boring stuff.
Boy howdy, this old guy been busy again today. Right after I drag myself off "da porch", I starts tear'n stuff apart. Mainly the slide out what been giv'n me trouble for the last couple years. Ya do know what a slide out is, right? It's a wall in an RV what you can "slide" it out to make the room bigger. In my case, almost big enough for a square dance or the "cotton eye joe". I jack that thing up with a prys bar an' a bunch of 2x4's so I could check the rollers. They all ok......'cept that one. One roller is 1/2 inches lower than the others.What the hell, how that happen. Oh yeah, remember when I had a flood? That part of the floor, right where that roller is, sinked. As a temporary repair/test, I slides a piece of 1/2 inches thick plywood under the slide out....right where that roller is. Unjack everything and push that button. It go in.... an' it go out. But not like a brand spank'n new one.

Then I goes round there to my battery bank compartment to check to voltage on one set. What the hell, who turn the charger back on? Now I got to wait one more day. That one solar panel has the other set charge up almost to the brim....gonna run over in a bit.

While I were tak'n a break out there on "da porch", up drives this big ol' Fed Ex truck with my brand new chair. Damn, that was quick. I put it all together....with out do'n any read'n of them directions, and it's gonna work.
See.......I tole you!!!
That's all I did an' I'm tired. Don't want nobody com'n down to the "da porch" bother'n me with silly stuff.
Got my spaghetti over there on the stove boil'n away. How damn, can hardly wait. Chili spaghetti spaghetti with garlic powder (not powder dummy....garlic salt) sprinkle on top an' some garlic toast on the side. Boy Howdy!!!


  1. My 10 yr old g/dotter had a booth at the biker meets, selling those farta startas. We had cooked pots and pots of em for it. Gosh. love those things.

  2. now you did it... i busted my gut. you trin to send me to the hospital. wait till I show this one to the guys at jail.

  3. I really like good chile, with or without beans. Think a guy could live on it. Remember the old "Iron Sides" show, how the star always ate chili?

  4. Ernest Tubbs pretty much did live on chili.When I make it I use a chuck roast ,freeze just enough to slice an dice it about 3/8 in cubes.I make cube chili.

  5. Ted, that's the way I did many years ago....just chop up a roast into little chunks. But then I found that get'n that chuck roast course ground in the meat market, I was able to extract more flavor from the meat.

  6. Getting close to chili weather here.We'll talk a little more CHILI.When I make my cube chili I use either 6 or 8 pound roast.I use the real chili power not this store bought McCormick blend chili power.After we eat off it that day it goes in the (ice box) over night the chill will furm up.Then it is spooned (heaping) into muffin pans an freeze.Then they are popped out an put in freezer bags.We started doing that with dressing after Thanksgiving. With the microwave it makes a fast meal.When I have a problem getting the real stuff I'll buy 3 or 4 of wick fowlers blend an add my touch to that.

  7. Made my deer chili one year, by just throwing stuff in, then, when i finished and tasted it, i immediately sat down and wrote down all the stuff i had used. Beat darnedest chili i've ever had.
    And, i cube my meat like Ted said. And now, soooo sad to say, all i have is Wolf brand,,3 cans, what can i say? lolololol