Halloween scares...

We lived in a big ol' beach house up on stilts, 10 foots off the ground. It was Halloween an ol' Billy Bob gonna scare me some kids what is com'n down the street all dress up in costumes. I were dress up as a mummy, strips of a bed sheet wrap round all my limbs an' stuff. Damn it were hot in that get up. At the bottom of the steps leading up to the "goodie" candy bowl at the top. I placed some old junk from the back yard and set my old raggedy "sit'n" chair right in the middle. I sits there, not mov'n a muscle in anticipation of my first customer of the night. Hee hee, hee....this gonna be fun.

My first customers was a couple little boys bout 4 or 5 year old. Mamas is stand'n out at the street. They walks up giv'n me the eye when all a sudden I jumps up. That was all it took....them kids was gone....pooof, just like that. One them mamas was so upset, she call me a "sum bitch".....and whole bunch other choice words. Not gonna scare no "little" kids no more.

Then here they come, bout 5 little girls in their prissy girlie outfits.....all of age, bout 8, 9 or 10 year old. They look at me giggl'n an' pok'n fun at me as I sit there like a rock....never move. Up the stairs they go say'n "trick or treat". That when ol' Billy Bob come slap alive, mak'n gurgling sounds, snarling and headed for the steps. That was about the same time when them little girls come alive too. They was scream'n to high heaven, look'n for an escape route off'n them porch steps. Wouldn't surprise me if every one of them little girls was pee'n their pants by now. One little girl fall slap off the steps an' hit the ground a runn'n......bout a hunnert mile a hour. No more scare'n little girls on the steps.

Then there was the little "Darth Vader" youngster. He were all by his self, strutt'n his stuff.....his light saber swing'n side to side. I jumps straight up, arms frail'n, right in front that boy....boy howdy. That when he cut loose with that sword thingy an' beat hell out me with it. Sheesh!!! No more scare'n kids with sticks, baseball bats or light sabers.

Yesterday old Billy Bob cut loose and tackled the nasty job of clean'n that bedroom. I mean to tell ya, it were a mess. Three bags full of stuff what I ain't never use or see in years and ain't gonna never use in the years to come. Pull out drawers stuffed with god only know what.....or why. Billy Bob is clean'n house. Three drawer slide plastic thingys had to be replaced where all that weight had busted them into little pieces. Cheap junk. That was a job I don't want to ever do again.

Then here come old "pesky neighbor" Wayne. Right in the middle of fix'n that last broke drawer. See what I mean bout "pesky"? And then here come some more "pesky's". In no time flat, "da porch is fill with people talk'n bout some special star out there, meteorites, solar flares.....what the hell???  No offense Dizzy, but old Billy Bob ain't got no interest in that kind of stuff. I would rather plant rocks an' watch 'em grow into boulders. Now don't get me wrong, I like to look at the moon an' all them gazillion stars up there, but I ain't gonna be talk'n bout them.

Today is solar panel delivery day an' old Billy Bob ain't even ready to install them. There's decisions to be made. Do I leave the one good solar panel on the roof along with the 2 new ones or do just install the new ones and dumpster the old? More on that after I go sit on "da porch", sip a cup and do some think'n.

Poor old Wayne has got his self a "mama hen". That woman don't give him a chance to do nuttin on his own. Wayne has got to do stuff by his self if'n he's gonna make it. Ya can't depend on someone to do everything for ya. That's all I have to say bout that. She already pissed at me.

Ok...."da porch" time....an' some think'n. 

Work work work....that's all I ever do...

First off is "a good morn'n to all ya". All Ya???? Now what the hell is "all ya"? That would probably fit in the category of "y'all", "youse" and "you all". What ever your preference...."Good Morning".


If "all ya" ain't notice, there seems to be a remodel craze go'n on. I just got back from Barney's place (OFM) an' he done went and tore out half his kitchen dinette. Bought him up one them office chairs like old Billy Bob done. Now we can both sit back in comfort while we write our blogs and watch TV.

One thing what is hard to do is to answer questions. In some cases, a simple yes or no is just not enough. Ya got to splain stuff....or in my case, I gotta write another story. I'm referr'n to a question I got a couple days ago about living on a boat. Now how the hell can I write a seven year long story bout liv'n on a boat? But....to appease my audience, the old Billy Bob will attempt to scratch the surface of being a "sailboat captain".

It was in late 1995 when I packed my last box of belong'ns aboard Coyote tied up out there on the end of dock #1. She weren't the same boat I fell in love with a few years before, but I had a dream and she could once more be a beautiful "pirate ship". I met a few neighbors, had a couple rum coolers, ate some dock fix'ns and settled in to a new life on the water.
JoJo was a couple months old by now and took to boat life right off. Run'n rould check'n stuff out....mark'n his territory. Drizzle here, drizzle there....."this is mine". JoJo made his first dive into the water one dark night while we was sit'n in the cockpit enjoy'n a soothing "rum cooler" and admiring our new home. KERSPLUSH....dog in da water. "Quick, gimme a flashlight". How the hell ya gonna see a black dog in black water in the black of night? All I hear is his little feet slpash'n in an attempt to find some safe haven. When the light finally found him, he was sitting on the rudder stick'n out the water by a couple inches. He was shivering cold.....glad to be back on board.

Tools was broke out to remove all the teak decks that had seen their better days. Thousands of dollars worth of useless deteriated teak was toted to the dumpster. Coyote now had teakless fiberglass decks. Brightwork was sanded and refinished with 7 to 8 coats of varnish. Coyote was look'n good. In the mean time "Barnacle Bill" had been gifted with a "captains" cap what he wore proudly as he strutted up and down the docks. Yes, I strutted. I was a Captain ya know.

My first winter on board Coyote was spent try'n to keep warm. It's cold on the water ya know. Blankets was bought, a sleep'n bag, a couple electric heaters and another bottle of Pussers rum. I were set. Winter passed quickly into spring. Life was good. Well, it wasn't really THAT good. We had storms....bad storms. Pelting rains, blow'n hurricane force winds an' cold northers make yer bones shiver all over. But work continued come rain or shine. Coyote was look'n good and Barnacle Bill is get'n seasoned into an "old salt". Learn all kind of nautical terms, like head, galley, salon, berth......and a few what I won't mention here. Life was good.

I'll leave it at that for this morning. Just the beginning of an adventure never to be forgotten.

Boy howdy let me tell ya, liv'n in an RV is just like liv'n on a boat.....work, work, work. The biggest part of yesterday was spent throw'n out junk and clean'n. Another bag to the dumpster an' a vacuum cleaner bag full to the brim. Where all that sand, dirt an' grime come from? I only do this onest a year. Other times it's just touch and go. Some peole don't realize how much work is involved in clean'n an RV. There ain't that many places to pack stuff away, so the old catch all system is used.

This will be my main project for the day. Where I gonna put all that stuff? That printer? Makes perfect prints of stuff, does photos great.....dumpster. That is unless I can find a place to put it and use it for photos only. But that would mean I would have to move my other laptop so's I could hook it up. Gotta think on that.

Ok, it's time for Billy Bob to get busy....work, work, work.....

How time flys....

Boy howdy, here it is the ending of another month already. And won't be long till the end of another year. Where does time go so fast?

I were sit'n here sip'n a cup an' got to think'n bout what I was do'n a few years back and why I ain't do'n the same stuff today. Well honestly I can tell ya....what I was do'n back then was just slap ass dangerous and nobody in their right mind would be do'n stuff like that. If I was to attempt to relive stunts I done "a few years back", I would probably be dead before tomorrow morn'n.

Most my life has been an adventure, well beyond just an experience or a "normal day". If I didn't end up at the end of a day either in a hospital or jail, I had a good day. No I'm not a freak'n criminal or a daredevil like that dude what jump motorcycles over a hunnert school busses.....break'n bones an' stuff. But when old Billy Bob walk upon the scene, something was gonna happen.  You've hear me say many times, "life without adventure is just an experience". Well that the way I have lived my life since childhood.

When I lived on the farm, I was a terror to all the farm animals. They see me com'n, they was outta here. I was a rock throw'n fool. Could knock a squirrel out a tree on the fist throw. The other boys kept there distance when I had a supply of rocks near by. I rode pigs in the pig pen. Make 'em squeal like a pig. Have ya ever been bit by a pig? Jump up on the back of a new born calf out in the barn yard. Ride that sucker like a rodeo star. Mama cow beat my ass though. Run me slap under a barbwire fence....bout a hunnert mile a hour....me yell'n "MOMS" loud I could. Somewheres back there on my butt I still got the scar. Jump off the smoke house right in the middle of a old lumber pile. Put a nail plumb out the top my foot what the doctor pour alcohol and stuff like that. Now that was an experience I'll never forget.  Pull a fox out his hole down there by the creek bank. Well yeah he bite me a good'un. Doctor put more that god awful alcohol on it. Jump on that old ugly dog what was sleep'n under my tree. He bite me too. Back to the doctor and his alcohol.  Old Tom cat put a number on me a few times too. More alcohol.  Have ya ever jump out a tree swing....backwards....downhill....into a little creek....cuts an' bruises??? Still more alcohol. These tid bits of information were just the beginning of "The Adventures of Billy Bob". Yeah old Billy Bob was a "wild child" an' he weren't even 7 year old yet.

The 2 weeks of feel'n good done up an' went away. Ya see, I were all fired up to get my work list down a couple more items an' it hit me.....don't do nuttin....hurt pain agony....lazy. But I did do something anyhows. Marked the dash air off'n my list. But as far as the rest of the list....nuttin. Billy Bob don't feel good. Hurt all over. Smell like Ben Gay....eat'n aspirin like they was candy. 

Look'n round "da house".....what the hell do I keep that stuff for? So far I have "dumpstered" two great big ol' bags of stuff and from the looks of things, two more to follow right shortly. Then I got to think'n, why do men keep worthless junk stuff like that in the first place when they know damn well they'll never use it? Makes no sense to me, but it sure looks purty sit'n up there on a shelf. Some is memories....the rest is junk.  God help us poor junk collect'n rednecks.

Holy crap.....

Ok, what the hell is go'n on? I waked up this morn'n thought I were gonna freeze to death. Well yeah, it's 32 degs outside and 49 in "da house"....turn on some heat.

First things first this morning. Ain't nobody even looked at that piece of wood. All they see was a little coyote hang'n up there on the wall next to it. That coyote has a story behind it, so we gonna attempt to tell a story this morning.

Back in about 1987 or there abouts, I moved back to Port Aransas, Texas from a miserable 10 years in West by God Virginia. In the evenings I would take a casual stroll on the docks in the marina look'n at boats an' stuff....dream'n. There on dock #2 sat this beautiful "pirate ship", a 41 foot Formosa ketch. I fell in love with this boat. In the cockpit sat an older feller with a bottle of Captain Morgan in his hand and a proud "captains" smile on his face. The teak woodwork glistened in the evening sun, the teak decks were the color of sand. She sat high in the water, her masts reaching to the heavens. What a beauty. "Coyote" was her name.

As time passed, my deck walking gradually diminished to once a month....and then to once every 6 months. In the mean time, the older feller had fell overboard and drowned from over indulgence of the local brew. After a few years, Coyote had lost her tone. Her brightwork was now deteriorated, her teak decks had turned a dirty gray. She was dying a sad death.

Then one evening while walk'n the docks, I seen Coyote sitting all alone at the end of the dock....a sad sight to behold. I took a stroll down that way and low an' behold, on her boat davits hung a 'for sale' sign. My heart started pound'n in anticipation of ownership of this once glistening beautiful "pirate ship".

Arrangements were made for monthly payments and "Barnacle Bill" moved aboard in 1995 with tools, a gallon of varnish and a little dog name of JoJo. But a mascot was needed....other than a dawg. What could be a better mascot, other than a dawg, than a stuffed "Wile E. Coyote"? I searched every store I could think of look'n for my elusive mascot. But none was to be found. Then Christmas day, my son Daniel handed me a package....his gift to me, a stuffed "Wile E. Coyote". He hung around in the boat for 7 years, hung around in "Alice" for 3 1/2 years and now hangs around in "Sally da house". To a kid, he would be a toy, but to old Billy Bob, he is a memory of 7 years of a wonderful life living on a 41 foot Formosa ketch. Life was good.




 

Work list gets smaller

Good morn'n all you wonderful people. "What the hells wrong with you Billy Bob? Ya never say good morn'n to no body". Well shoot, I feel good this morn'n, so good morn'n.

Had us a whole bunch of wind come thunder'n through Deming last night. Rain was on all sides of us, but not a drop at "da house". Was 41 degs this morn'n, but it was nice an' cozy inside. I rekon tonight will drop into the 30's with the cold front. Damn....that gonna be cold.

See there, I tole ya. that board right next to Wile E. Coyote is the board old Billy Bob done replace. Can ya tell if it's a new board? Very close observation you will see that it's not oak like I wanted, but I bet ya a quarter you can't see it from your house. Only I will know for sure.

Remember that wireless printer what ain't hook up wireless?  Well let me tell ya right now....it's a piece of crap for printing photos. Junk. Throw it in the dumpster.....that what I want to do with it. But then again, I didn't read the directions for printing high quality photos. "Break out the book Billy Bob....read".

Another comment popped up bout them damn solar panels. Let me see if I can set everyones minds at ease. One of the two is putting out right at 90% capacity @ 7.0 amps....that's good. Now the one in question is putting out 2.2 amps. Each one checked separately through the charge controller. No mistake, one is not producing rated amperage. Flash.....new solar panels will be shipped today or tomorrow. That what the guy tole me anyhows.

Ok, gotta go over and check on "pesky neighbor" Wayne. Be back laters.

Wored slap out...

Old Billy Bob ain't miss'n. He just been soooo busy he ain't had no time for blogg'n an' stuff like that. Had to take a break.

Couple day ago, yesterday morn'n me an' Sadie Mae jumps in "that jeep" for a trip to town. Turn the key an' it do nuttin. Now what the hell? Brand spank'n new battery slap dead'er an' a door knob. Charge that sucker up an' away we go. Stop by and visit my financial adviser. His advice was to quit spend'n money what ya ain't got. So's I borrow some change from one account and put it in another.....just like Obama do. Then I went on a spend'n spree, shell'n out twenty dollar bills to everybody. Upholstery guy gonna fix my couch just like in a plush Prevost couch. Went by the lumber yard and bought me up some boards an' stuff to replace the rotted out board an' stuff. Pick up some refrigerant for the dash air conditioner. Back to "da house" fix'n stuff.

Did I tell ya i done blow up another meter what I was check'n them solar panels with? Holy cows, that sucker says....poooof. But anyhows, the solar panels are headed for the dumpster soon as the brand spank'n new ones get here.

5pm....
Took care of all the business of the couch. Changed color tough. I can do that ya know. In about a week the Carmal leather will be here and 3 days after that I will have a brand spank'n new couch in "da house".

Solar panels have been ordered. Ain't nuttin more to say bout that.

Installed the new wood on the slide out what was rotted on the end......mark that off the list.

I'm gonna sleep on it, but since I've spent this much $$$$, I may as well spend another $400. What ya think, HUH????

Wayne's recovery

Boy howdy' old "pesky" Wayne sure do light up when I tell him bout all the people root'n for him and wish'n him well.

It didn't take long for Wayne to get back to his old "pesky" tricks. Here I were sit'n at the table drink'n my first cup this morn'n an' here he come hobbl'n cross the yard to "da porch". Big grin on his face. I think he's very pleased with his progress. I ask him if he wanted the golf cart over there so's he could ride back and forth. Nope he says, he wants to walk. He's settled in at home just like he was never "miss'n in action". Five months is a long time. We may go play a round of golf ball swak'n this week if'n it ain't too cold. Give Wayne a chance for fresh air, the smell of fresh cut grass and drive the cart a hunnert mile a hour. He'll like that I'm sure. Maybe even let him swak a few hisself.

Cold front gonna be here in a couple days. Hot damn,  I gotta get out of here before the first freeze. But I don't think I'm gonna make it. This is New Mexico and we have some strange weather here. Supposed to drop into the 30's at night with this front. That when my water hose freeze up an' I have to use dog water for my morning coffee. Most time I just let 'er drip at night and have water come morning, but sometimes I forget. And my memory ain't get'n no better with each passing day.

Spend the entire morn'n mess'n with that solar panel. Crank up that brand spank'n new meter an' everything check out good. It should work. So I lug that thing back up to the roof an' hook it up.....in parallel with the other one. Go back down that ladder for the umpteenth time to check the output. Ok, where the hell did the sun wander off to? Clouds have rolled in and now I got to wait till they gone. Slim chance 'cause we supposed to get some rain today. But.....with what little sun there is, it seems both solar panels are producing megawatts of electricity. "You good Billy Bob. Now, what the hell did you do to fix that panel"? At this given point an' time in my life, I have absolutely no idea. Ya rekon it may have been just my touch what did it???? Will know for sure as soon as I have a sun filled day. Until then, cross'n fingers.

Speak'n of my touch.....way back when I were in the refrigeration business, I got a call from a long time commercial customer. He had a refrigeration unit what was deader like a door nail....didn't do nuttin. I walks up to that unit and says..."a good kick in the ass will fix that". So I rares back and I kicks that dead unit a good'un. That sucker crank right up an' I never figger out why it had quit in the first place. That kick earned me a service call and the admiration of a happy customer.

Word usage

Well shoot, I think I got some splain'n to do this morn'n. After read'n yesterdays comments, it seem some of ya think Wayne is all well. Well that ain't so. When I said he drove up in a big ol' pick'em up truck, he weren't do'n the driving....he were just riding. If ya look around you at some folks that have had a stroke, you will see that their capabilities are much degraded. Parts of their body will not function as it did before.

Wayne is lucky.  He has the ability to walk, but he ain't gonna be break'n no speed records for a long time. With the help of a walker he is able to move about and do his necessary stuff. He has regained use of his right hand and arm, but not his left. Maybe 25% usage in the left. After 3 strokes, I would say he is in very good condition....considering what he went through. I hope I never have to go through such an ordeal he has.

So what did Billy Bob do yesterday? I were sit'n on the couch think'n bout mak'n a trip up on the roof when I spyed a bag of Cheetos an' a bag of Ruffles look'n at me from inside a cabinet. Well hell, "eat'em up"....what I did. Then I got sick. Holy cows....puke and everything. Took me a nap, miss supper an' go to bed feel'n terrible. But I feel good to go this morning.

I were read'n Barneys blog (OFM) an' look at them cast iron legg'ins thingys he got on for wade fish'n. That remind me the time I were wade fish'n on the beach in Port Aransas try'n to catch me up some spotted sea trout. Yeah I were barefooted. Little critters was crawl'n all over my feet get'n out my way when I step on something what don't run away. The water thrashed under my bare feet an' I were "out of there" in a flash. A dark shadow was go'n the other way. Yup, it were a sting ray.

Look'n like I only got bout 5 weeks to make a final decision what I'm gonna do for the winter. At this point, it look like I'm gonna be headed west to the "slabs" again this year. But that decision ain't written on a rock. I don't know bout the rest of ya, but a decision such as this bugs the hell out me. I lose sleep over it. I have to drink more coffee to calm my nerves. Decisions are an important part of my life. "Well DUH Billy Bob". Maybe I better go outside, sit on "da porch", sip a cup an' think this thing over.

"My God Billy Bob, now look what ya went an' did. Ya slap blowed up that volt meter". Well it weren't my fault. Ya see, when I was on my Texas trip, I left it lay'n outside....an' it rain on it. It would still work, but after what I done to it today, it dead....poooof, just like that.  And then, I was gonna go to Walmart, get me a new one. Freak'n battery dead in "that jeep". What the hell? Maybe I better take the rest of the day off.

Battery charge up....head'n off to Walmart.

Wayne is home...

Boy howdy, I get's up this morn'n, drinks me up some coffee and here come "pesky neighbor" Wayne drive up in a big ol' one ton pick up truck. Take a ladder get in an' out that thing.

I had promised Wayne I would make him some good coffee soons he come home, so I put on another pot while he was stumbl'n up the steps to his house. My God, is he drunk??? Then I takes him a big ol' cup. Hot damn, he drink that up like he ain't had no coffee in months. Well he really didn't. That stuff they serve in hospitals and nursing homes would never pass for coffee in the real world.

We sit there on his porch for a spell gabber jaw'n when he say, "lets go sit on "da porch". Grabs his 2 wheel walker and away he go....climb up my steps like they weren't there. Much better than I had expected. After a bit he says...."come on Sadie, lets go for a ride". They jump in the golf cart an' away they go....do'n a hunnert mile a hour round the track. So good to see old "pesky neighbor" Wayne back home.

Of course I ain't did nuttin today and probably won't. I have the option to choose what I gonna do an' what I ain't gonna do. And I choose the lesser of the two options...."do nuttin". Although, I been think'n bout climb'n up there on the roof and check out that solar panel again........hmmmmm, should I or shouldn't I?

Day of reckoning...or something like that

 YEEE HAAA!!! Wild Man

This is what happen when ya take a shower and don't brush your hair before it dries......


When I roll out of bed at 9am this morning, I says "what the hell". I ain't never sleep this long in years. So what could be on my mind to sleep that long?

I'll tell ya what it is. Ya see, I'm mak'n all these pepairs to "da house" and don't know how much money I want to spend on them. With everything what is broke, I think I'm look'n close to $4000 or more. That would include some new shoes ya know.....$2400 for the set. These ones are over 7 year old, so they gonna blow up one these days....send "Sally" out in the weeds an' be break'n all kinds of stuff. Damn, just the thought make my cringe all over. BaBOOM....out in the weeds somewheres.

Anyhows where was I? Solar panel. Ok, just order a new one, mount and hook that sucker up an' be done with it. I check that thing out fortyhunnert time and it still don't work....drive'n me plumb nuts. Fount one online, Kyrocera KD135SX-UPU, to replace it with for $330 plus shipping. I'm think'n $330 plus shipping is a wonderful way to stay out of the State Institution for the mentally challenged.....ie.. nutso ward.

Look all over online for a replacement sleeper sofa to replace ol' wored out one I got. Dogs ya know. Guess what....$1000+, plus shipping. That gonna have to wait till I check out a upholstery shop. Damn!!!

And then we got that backup monitor to consider. Do I spend $700 for a new one, or just take my chances? Actually, a backup monitor is just a luxury item for ya to be distracted from "safe" driv'n every time ya look at that little tv screen to see if'n "that jeep" is still back there. What good would it do for me to watch "that jeep" come unhook and take off across the weeds do'n a hunnert mile a hour? It's either back there or it ain't. 

Now we comes to the slide out. Yeah I know, I been talk'n bout it a long time. Remember.....it don't slide in an' out like it suppose to do.....over works the motor. Well I go looks at it again and maybe I fount the problem. The two strong like bull metal actuator arms what is attached to to the wall is sit'n on an' sliding on the frame part under the slide out. That ain't right. The bottom of the slide out sits on rollers in case ya wanted to know. I know, I can't 'splain it no better than that. So how I gonna fix it?

Dad burn flies just won't let my alone. Follow me everywheres I go. But I'm gonna fix them. Gonna take my monthly shower a week early. Put me on some clean duds an' I be good to go. Take that you damn pesky flies.

Think'n back to the past

I were tickle pink yesterday with all the comments bout beans in chili. I were expect'n sympathetic comments bout how hard I been work'n an' some suggestions on how to fix all this broke stuff, but all I got was "beans" comments.

Well, I won't be talk'n bout chili (with beans) today that for sure, but you can bet yer bippy I know how to make the stuff. In fact, this pot of chili is one the bestest I brewed up in the last 5 year. It so close to perfect it would amaze the judges at any "chili cook off" competition in any part of the country.  Except for them damn beans float'n round in there. I come in second place in competition with this same recipe back in bout 1989 or so. In that same same year, I come in first place in the "rusty bucket" parade for "best of show" with an old rusted out 1972 VW bus. Still got that trophy somewheres in my collection of junk.

Speak'n of beans. Real beans. We as a group of bout 15 of us, (University of Texas maintenance crew and a few from the boat crew) took our yearly fish'n trip to Choke Canyon State Park where we rented one them enclosed cabin enclosures to store hundreds of pound of fish'n stuff and groceries for a week. Old carpenter Ron breaks out his big ol' cook'n pot, fill it up with a couple three gallon water and bout 5# of butter beans an some ham hocks.  Put that big ol' pot on the fire an' off we go fish'n. Now when we gets back a few hours later, them beans is all tender and ready to eat.....along with the regular conglomeration of camp cook'n. Bout 9 a clock pm we was all break'n out sleep'n bags and cots for a good night of sleep...in the enclosed air tight cabin shelter. Snor'n started right round 10 a clock. And then......RIPPPPP, someone done let one loose. Then on the other side the room.....RIPPPP, there go another. By 11 a clock pm, the whole room were full of these god awful  RIPPPPP's.... like ya never hear in yer whole life. People is go'n outside....sleep'n bags an' blankets under arm. The house was vacated and left to the critters of the woods. This is a true story so don't be add'n nuttin to it.

Did I ever tell ya bout the time..... In Port Aransas, Texas, we had a yearly "anything that will float but a boat" race competition in the harbor.  I were gonna win this year....I were sure of it. I took this old bicycle an' build me a paddle wheeler out it. Complete with a styrofoam outriggers so's it don't turn over or sink, a rudder where the front wheel go an' a great big ol' sail (wisht I knowed where that pic was at). I had it all decked out with flags an' stuff and even a pair of oversize granny underdrawers hang'n from the mast. Hot damn, that were one good look'n rig. But it didn't work out like I had planned it to. Oh it peddle paddled just fine....go'n a hunnert mile a hour. That when something go wrong. Ya see, when I build that paddle wheel, I use screws instead of bolts to hold it together....and all them screws come loose. All the peddl'n I do, that thang don't go nowheres. Just sit there dead in the water, while all them other boats is headed for the finish line. Well hell, put the sail up and sail cross the finish line.....ya still got a chance to save face. Up go the sail...."there ain't no wind Billy Bob". I stuck...stranded...all by my self.....red face embarrassed.  Fortunately, there were a Coast Guard boat at the festivities....what come out and rescue me. I were the first one to the turn around point and the last one to the finish line. Damn that was a fun day.

Break time....look out "da porch", here I comes.

5:30 pm.....The boring stuff.
Boy howdy, this old guy been busy again today. Right after I drag myself off "da porch", I starts tear'n stuff apart. Mainly the slide out what been giv'n me trouble for the last couple years. Ya do know what a slide out is, right? It's a wall in an RV what you can "slide" it out to make the room bigger. In my case, almost big enough for a square dance or the "cotton eye joe". I jack that thing up with a prys bar an' a bunch of 2x4's so I could check the rollers. They all ok......'cept that one. One roller is 1/2 inches lower than the others.What the hell, how that happen. Oh yeah, remember when I had a flood? That part of the floor, right where that roller is, sinked. As a temporary repair/test, I slides a piece of 1/2 inches thick plywood under the slide out....right where that roller is. Unjack everything and push that button. It go in.... an' it go out. But not like a brand spank'n new one.

Then I goes round there to my battery bank compartment to check to voltage on one set. What the hell, who turn the charger back on? Now I got to wait one more day. That one solar panel has the other set charge up almost to the brim....gonna run over in a bit.

While I were tak'n a break out there on "da porch", up drives this big ol' Fed Ex truck with my brand new chair. Damn, that was quick. I put it all together....with out do'n any read'n of them directions, and it's gonna work.
See.......I tole you!!!

That's all I did an' I'm tired. Don't want nobody com'n down to the "da porch" bother'n me with silly stuff.
Got my spaghetti over there on the stove boil'n away. How damn, can hardly wait. Chili spaghetti spaghetti with garlic powder (not powder dummy....garlic salt) sprinkle on top an' some garlic toast on the side. Boy Howdy!!!

Bust'n my butt....

Just a short update of what I were do'n yesterday. No, I'm not talk'n bout "do'n nuttin". I been bust'n it today.

But before I get into all the work I been do'n, I got to comment on a comment I received bout my Billy Bob chili. Yes real chili do have beans. I could leave it at that but let me tell ya how chili come to be. Ya see, my great grandaddy was a cowpoke back in 1860's on a cattle drive to Kansas. Every day the old cook would serve up a big ol' pot of pintos for breakfast, lunch and supper with sour dough pan bread. Well my great GD got tired them beans so's he went out an' fount a old cow what died the night before. He cut that sucker up and sneaked some it in that pot od beans along with some hot peppers what he fount grow'n wild. That how chili come to be. Later, eastern folk come south and west what didn't like pintos. So they took 'em out an' call their beanless chili "chili con carne", what was later in the 50's changed to simply "chili". Now that's a fact.


Ok......my rotted piece of wood project on the slide out.

First off if'n ya look real close ya can see sunshine com'n in under that seal. That where the water com'n in I betcha. That ain't right. Gonna have to fix that.....but not today. It ain't rain'n.

Now here's a look see at that piece of rotted wood.....see down there on the end.....yeah that's it. Now this will be a simple fix, but it ain't gonna look the same when I get done. That crap is made out of cheap particle board with fake oak tape on it. Old Billy Bob gonna go for the real thing.....strong like bull solid oak.  That is if'n the freak'n lumber yard has any oak in stock. If not, I'll stain some pine or something like that. Put a good coat of polyurathane on it no one know the difference. I did that one time so I knows what I'm talk'n bout.

Ok....remember I tole ya bout my backup monitor not work'n? Well, I tore that sucker plumb apart. Why didn't someone tell my them little TV's will knock ya on your butt.....damn. Anyhows, the monitor is done bite the dust.

If ya get real close to it, you can smell the burn something, but I can't see what is burn up. Replacement time.

Ok.....chili.....with beans is all heat up for old Billy Bob. Today is chili an' crackers day. I think I made enough to last bout 3 more days. Tomorrow is chili (with beans) spaghetti. If'n ya ain't never have chili spaghetti, ya ain't got no idea what ya miss'n. Hot damn......YUM YUM eat' em up.

Undecided??? Who me?

Boy howdy, decisions on top of decisions. You would think mak'n decisions for an old retired fart would be easy, but it ain't.

Ya see, it's like this......some of the decisions I need to make revolve around what I am able to do as I get older. You know, like do I go out and buy a snorkl'n outfit, (wet suit, flippers an' one then mask thingys) when all I gonna do is get my feet wet in some puddle somewhere. Well, the decisions I gotta make ain't that extreme, but they are important. Do I buy something just 'cause I want it or 'cause I gonna use it? Most stuff I go out and buy end up sit'n on a shelf or out in the dumpster. That ain't too thrift wise.

Remember that great big ol' airplane I was tell'n ya bout what I built 6 year ago?

 Well, it ain't see it's first crash in all that time. What the hell I gonna do with a airplane what ain't never fly? Just sits there do'n nuttin. But......them was the bestest 3 months I spend in a long time....glue'n little pieces of wood together an' all that stuff. But it's got to go. Need the room for a helicopter.....decisions decisions.

And then.....there's this Boze sound system what I bought. Since it don't rattle stuff, I got to decide if that great big ol' 500 watt system needs to be ordered. But I don't listen to much music anymores like I used to. And if i hook it to the TV, I gotta turn the "boom'n" bass almost completely off just to understand what the hell they say'n. Decisions decisions.

And then.....where I gonna spend the winter. This is the most important of them all. Do I go to the "slabs" or do I go to south Texas. Again, age makes a difference in what I can do an' what I can't do. I know damn well I can't ride a freak'n horse no more. I can't dig for gold no more. Be do'n good if'n I could catch a fish.

Let's take a look see what I can do at the slabs. There bout 20 people talk'n their lips plumb off'n their face for me to go to the slabs. At the slabs I have beautiful spring time temps all winter long....40's at night and lower 70's most every day. Play Texas Hold'em 2 or 3 times a week. Campfire almost every night. Free food at least onest a week. Always someone to talk to.....BS mostly. Live entertainment every saturday night at the Range. You know, old fart stuff. Nuttin real excit'n.

Now if'n I was to go to south Texas, I gonna have all the fish'n I could handle for the rest of my life. But then.....I ain't gonna go out on a lake in a freak'n boat if'n it's cold (under 70 degs). I would be in my favorite State out of all 57 of 'em......although, there ain't nuttin wrong with New Mexico. Well yeah there is. It's flat ass cold in the winter and hotter an' hell in the summer. I were really talk'n bout the scenery, not the weather. All the Mexican food my belly will hold....ain't got that at the slabs. Ordered tacos one time....they was 3 inch long.....with fish on 'em. That ain't no taco. Decision decision.

Ok, run the clean'n lady off. She start cut'n corners. By that I mean, she weren't wash'n the corners....and there lot's on corners in "da house".

Mak'n me up a half pot of "Billy Bob" chile since it's get'n cool in Deming. Gonna leave if thick so's I can eat me up a couple chili samiches. Then, I'll thin it out a bit for chili spaghetti. Damn I like that stuff. Bestest chili this side the Mississippi. Think I'll have me one right now.......UMMM....yum yum.

Oh my God Billy Bob....you have did it again.

Ain't did hardly nuttin today. Seperated the battery bank into two banks so's I can check out each battery. That was a time consum'n endeavor if I do say so myself. Cleaned each an' every one them cable terminals and battery post, even though they didn't need it. Got the solar panel charg'n one set at 6 amps and the big charger equaliz'n the other set.

And then I hear this click'n noise. I says "what the hell is that"?  All the 12 volt was disconnected, so's it can't be that. So it got to be something 120 volts.....right??? Well, I goes over there to turn off the breaker when I sees my water connection hose dripping water in one compartment.....click, click, click as it hit the plastic bottom. Or as Barney would call if, poly something or another. Plastic to me.

Ok, back to wash'n corners.....

Will I live or die....

Holy crap, what have you done Billy Bob?

Yesterdays dozen or so trips up and down that ladder put a hurt'n on my back. Won't be no ladder climb'n today. Last night was terrible try'n to get in a comfortable position for some much needed beauty rest. And then this morn'n, I didn't know if I was gonna make it to the coffee pot or not. If'n ya ever had a back problem, what most men have from try'n to be "Mr. Macho", you know where I com'n from. Slipped discs 'cause severe pain.

Back to repairs an' stuff. A few hours were invested last night online look'n for replacement solar panels (one), a brand spank'n new couch, and replacement chairs. Fount them all.....well maybe not a new couch. You know how much them things cost for a RV???? My God!!! If I could sneak across the border (Mexico) with that thing on my back, I could it recovered for less than half the price a new one.....in leather. But I'm red tagged to go to Mexico until I get a passport....what I ain't gonna do.

Now what the hell did you do Billy Bob? Where is your cleaning lady? Don't know what it is, but every time I get someone to clean house for me, they don't come back. Hired my niece one year to clean. She got half the ceiling washed and never come back. I know I sure don't like clean'n, but I was pay'n them hard earned $$$$ to do the job.

Now i gotta go sit on "da porch", sip a cup an' do some serious think'n.
Oh wait.....here a pic of that little black box thingy on the back of my solar panel.

It's a slow world...

Things sure are slow'n down in the blog'n world lately. Either that or things are speed'n up in the "every day life" world. I remember back a time when I had so much extra time on my hands I didn't know what to do with myself. But holy cows, they increased the speed limits on the Interstates, big ol' malls have opened up, nobody eats at home.....it's a dog eat dog world. Hurry hurry hurry......no time to relax.

While I was sit'n round yesterday....relex'n, I noticed a water damaged board. Damaged pretty bad if ya ask me. It gotta be replaced. Ya see, I have a slide out room what been giv'n me trouble for the last couple year. Damn thing don't slide like it supposed to do. Well, come to find out, the damn thing leaks too. Water run'n down the one end get'n that board wet...and the floor. Now this means another trip up there on the roof and take a look see where the water is get'n in. I'm beginn'n to think I'm a little too old to be climb'n up there put'n my life in jeopardy every time I do. But....somebody got to do it.

Fount me some really nice look'n replacement chairs online. Since I moved some stuff around, I decided I got to have new chairs. And they cheap. Black leather swivel round in circles. Go up and down. I gonna be uptown.

Ok, clean'n lady showed up before I were ready. Will be back later.......maybe 

4:pm......

Boy howdy that clean'n lady is do'n a great job. Her 4 hours of clean'n would equal to my 24 hours of do'n the same thing....but not as good. Clean'n sucks ya know.

Four hours of diagnostics up and down that ladder and the solar system is still not fixed. The panel in question is only putting out 2.2 amps, but the voltage is correct @ 17.2 volts. I have a suspicion that little black box on the back may be the problem. If I am able to unsolder it, I'll check it out some more. This is where the diodes live. In the mean time I'll be satisfied with a 6.8 to 7.2 amp charge from the other panel. Grrrrrrrr to fix'n stuff.

Back to feel'n normal

I don't know what it was what I ate the other day but it's all wore off today. For 2 days I was feel'n like a brand new hunnert dollar bill. Today I feel like I went through grandma's wringer wash machine.

On the farm, "mom's" got her hand stuck in the wringer of one them old wash machines. Sucked her in there all the way up to her elbow fore she was able to hit the release thingy. Her arm was black an' blue for a week. We didn't have electricity on the farm till 1948 I think it was. The wash machine had a motor on it....putt-putt-putt, the wash is done. I think it were a Sears an' Roebuck....but don't quote me on that. 

Bot howdy, let me tell ya....I were think'n last night...."what ya gonna eat for supper Billy Bob"? Well hell, I'll just go off to town and eat at one them fancy restaurants. Ok? Fancy restaurant in Deming??? Where would that be...McDonalds? Ended up at the chinese buffet. Mistake....BIG mistake. Now get this, they got 3 steam tables loaded with scrumptious look'n "stuff". Two of them steam table is shut slap off. Cold food. Where the hell is the beef an' broccoli??? Had to swipe some broccoli out one other pan, but it taste just like chicken. Yummmm yum, yum. Yeller fried rice???? Where the hell is the shrimps??? "Oh, there one....yup, one". Then I tells the cute little china girl...."I'm very displeased an' won't be com'n back". She says...."Oh thank you berrly much....ten dollar fifty seven cent please.....you have two penny"?

Ok, my garden lady is due in a few minutes, so I got to go sit on "da porch". Gonna move "Sally da house so's she can dig up all them weeds where I park. Then I got to think'n...."I wonder if she cleans house". Boy howdy, old Billy Bob wouldn't have to do nuttin but supervise. I bet ya a quarter I gonna like that job. The way I figger it, I get paid a sack full of money every month for "do'n nuttin", so's to help the economy, I'll spread it around a little.

1:30pm......

Ok, hired me one them Pinkerton investigators to investigate my solar system. Uh huh, just what I were think'n, one panel is charg'n 5.9 amps an' the other one 1.4 amps. Now that tell me something.....one ain't work'n. But that's only part of the problem. Why are my batteries go'n down so freak'n fast? But old Billy Bob know how to check that out too. Disconnect everything that run off the batteries. Then if'n them batteries go down, them batteries are shot.....maybe. I ain't done yet......

Boy howdy them 2 trips up to the roof like to kill me. I were winded, couldn't breath.....thought I were gonna die. And I gotta go up there again to uncover one solar panel. And then back up there with my chain saw, volt meter, a handfull of tools an' stuff to check out that panel what ain't work'n. Sheesh!!! Anybody know how to check out a 48 cell solar panel? All I know is "either it is or either it ain't".

Think'n back...

3pm Update:

Morning edition will be found below
Before and after......

Now that's what I'm talk'n bout. I got me one hard work'n garden lady that for sure. By this time tomorrow, old Billy Bob should be weedless.

I been a busy old cuss all day long fix'n stuff. Was get'n some tools out the shop and the damn tool drawer wouldn't close.....hang'n up on something. So's I empty the drawer, take it out and walla, there a screw stick'n out. Rescrewed that sucker and all is good as new. Then I got to think'n, how bout check'n for a leak on that dash air? What I did. Replaced a shrader valve.....that one them things like what holds the air in the tires on your car. This is the tool I fabricated to remove the shrader valve. A regular valve removal tool was too short to reach the valve, so's I make one reach way down in there. You good Billy Bob.

Then I put some pressure with a brand new can of R-134a. Tomorrow I will know if all is well and can charge 'er back up. Damn I like fix'n stuff. But I sure ain't gonna be break'n stuff on purpose so I can fix it. That would be dumb.

Got either battery or solar panel problems what need to be diagnosed. Ya see, the batteries are only charg'n half what they supposed to be do'n by the solar panels. That makes me suspect one solar panel is not charging. Old blanket trick will solve that suspicion (cover one solar panel, climb down off'n the roof and see how much amps there are). Ya gotta do that two times ya know. By the way, I equalized them batteries all night long. In a week I'll do it again. But don't forget, I let the battery water get low.

**********************************************************************************
Morning edition....
Ya know there may come a time when ya get to think'n...."I ain't hav'n fun". But then when it's all over and ya think back, ya had a blast. I were sit'n back on the couch last night thumb'n through a book, TV on, Bose system try'n to shake the neighbors winders, listening to the neighbors new dogs bark'n and got to think'n....."you had a wonderful trip Billy Bob". 2600 miles of stomp'n through Texas heat, fires, empty lakes, high humidity and endless roads. It don't get no better than that.

One of the pleasures of traveling and blog'n is that you sometimes get to meet up with some of these people what been hiding behind a computer screen. Ya get to wonder'n what these people are like in "real life". Well let me tell ya, I met up with two followers what "made my day". Up at Ink's Lake, TroubleinTexas showed up at my campsite for a visit with the Billy Bob. Just so happen, the OldFatMan was camped right across the street from me, so we both got to meet Trouble. Was a wonderful visit sit'n round the picnic table tell'n sea stories, laugh'n an' hav'n a good ol' time. Ok Billy Bob, where the hell are the pics of Trouble? "No Billy Bob, ya didn't forget to take pics did ya"? Damn I wish someone would remind me that I own 3 digital cameras. All loaded up with film ready to shoot.Thanks sooooo much for the visit Trouble.

(pic of Trouble goes here)

Then.....while camped at San Perdro campground at Del Rio, Texas, I had the great pleasure to meet MsBelinda, better knowed as simply MsB. Ya see.....I were sit'n outside enjoy'n an afternoon on "da porch" sip'n a cup and think'n. I hears a big ol' diesel truck come rip'n through the park with no muffler. I looks around and it were MsB driv'n "dad's" car.....dust, dirt and rocks fly'n. She thinked I didn't recognize her but I did right off the bat 'cause of the car. What another wonderful visit from a long time follower.

Just in case ya think I forget to take pics, here's Barney the OFM try'n to catch him some dinner. After meet'n up with Barney at 2 of Texas' lake, I would definitely do it again. Thanks for a great time Barney.

Ok....my "bag lady" gardener just showed up to dig weeds out my yard. You didn't think old Billy Bob was gonna do all that dig'n again did ya? I could hire a couple local illegals to do the job, but I ain't tak'n a chance on go'n to jail. Who says Americans won't pick onions and dig weeds. Sheesh....this is America and Americans want to work. No I ain't pay'n Union wages. I may be nuts, but not that nuts.

Updates later in the day.....if I do something worth writ'n bout.

It's freak'n cold....

I don't like nuttin this morn'n. I'm grouchier than what's his name. Reason is, I'm cold. Holy cows, it were 49 degs out there this morn'n before the sun come up. No....I didn't get up before the sun....sheesh, what you think'n? But I laid there shiver'n with one little tiny blanket wrap all around me.

In answer to a question a couple or 5 days ago, Inks Lake is way more further out the way of my route to Deming than Del Rio by bout 200 hunnert mile....or something like that. Plus, me and the OFM had arranged to meet up there. Lake Amastad is not a lake to be crossed off your travels list. The water is crystal clear as far as you can see. The camp grounds (6 of 'em I think it is) are perfectly arranged to access most any part of the lake. Choice matters.

Did I mention I have a battery problem? Boy howdy, yeah I do. Ya see here's the deal. When ya live in a motor home, 5th wheel or one them little tow behind house trailers, ya gotta check the water in the batteries. Well yeah I check mine....was just too long ago. They were low....way low. Now you know old Billy Bob fix stuff, but batteries require expertise beyond my control. Now don't go jump'n up an' down say'n Billy Bob can't fix everything, 'cause I done fix stuff before. The last time I let the water get low I fix 'em right up with my battery charger. It's called equalize, and all good battery chargers have that feature. That what I gonna do when I get to Deming. Otherwise.....$450 for new batteries.

Bout time to head off down the road a piece and my mind is all fog up so I'll post this before the fog clears.
Updates later...

UPDATE:.
1:30pm.....well here I are in New Mexico. Pull into the New Mexico Visitor Rest area so Sadie Mae could go take a poop. Boy howdy, she drop a big ol' log. Only bout a hunnert mile to go for destination Deming. I camped last night further than I thought from Deming.....right at 300 plus mile. Damn I'm gonna be tired.

6pm....laid back in Deming. Took a whole 10 minutes to unhook "that jeep" and set up camp. Damn I'm get'n good.

This is what I came back to.

You would think a couple hunnert pounds of salt would have kill the ground deader an' a door knob, but hell no it didn't. My weeds is grow'n just as good as everyone elses. What now....fire???

I think this is all I have to say for one day. Will start catch'n up tomorrow......boy howdy that gonna be a chore.

On the road again....

Yee Haa!!! Old Billy Bob is headed down the road do'n a hunnert mile a hour. This post is being made from Sanderson, Tx. bout 115 mile from Del Rio, Tx., where me an' old fat man Jack spend an awesome time catch'n fish and stuff like that. In Del Rio not Sanderson. Camped a whole week for $14......cain't beat that wit a stik.

Got to make this short 'cause my internet connection SUCKS. Really slow for a big city like Sanderson.
Left out an hour after Barney did this morn'n headed off in different directions. Him go'n south to Rockport and me go'n west towards Deming, NM. I were all excitis once I got fuel and set the speed control thingy on 60 mile a hour. Damn, I like the desert.

When I get down the road to civilization, I'll attempt to catch up on all the blogs and put an update to this one. Somewhere's up the road bout a mile or less, I'll be headed north to Ft. Stockton and I-10......only bout 80 mile north.

Missed y'all for the last week. Ain't never gonna let it happen again.

UPDATE:
4PM.......sit'n to the side the road. Boy howdy I mean to tell ya, this travel'n stuff is why I retired. Get behind the wheel this big ol' thang an' scare hell out people. You think I'm kid'n? It were back down the road a piece and this guy pull slap out in front me. Now "Sally" can yell "get the hell out the way" pretty loud when she get nervous. That guy what pull out....I'm think'n he done mess his pants....turn pure white, weave'n all over the road look'n for a place to get out the way. Bet he don't do that no more.

Been sit'n here read'n blogs for the last hour....boy howdy I'm never gonna catch up. Then I got to think'n,....this is a really nice comfortable look'n place to camp for the night. Hmmmmm, think I might just do that.

Just for Trouble.....here that pic ya been wait'n for for so long. Ya see, Barney was fish'n over there where there weren't no fish while old Billy Bob done clumb over all them big rocks an' stuff to get to the fish'n hole what had so many fishs they was fight'n just to get on my pole. That be one monster of a fish.

Ya believe that right??? Well good.....'cause old Billy Bob don't stretch no truth ya know.

Stuck in the desert with no internet...

Well howdy do to you....where the hell ya been? Been miss'n see'n all your happy faces and sit'n on "da porch sip'n a cup an'n jaw'n with ya.

Pull in right across the street from OFM Barney the other day. Tuesday I beleive it was. Well it weren't exactly just pull'n in, old Billy Bob went right on by the entrance to the campground do'n a hunnert mile a hour. DEAD END. "Oh Oh Billy Bob, I don't think you oughter be on this road".

And then...."that jeep" done screw up again. Won't shift out of park. After a full night of think'n an' worry'n "I'm gonna be stranded in this God forsaken place", I finally come to the conclusion...."that jeep" is a piece of junk. Next morn'n I breaks out all kinds of tools an' start tak'n stuff apart. Hammer in one hand and a big screwdriver in the other.....something gonna give. Wiggles wires, pulls on cables, swak this with the hammer, twist that thingy....all kind of "back yard" mechanical stuff. Then I cranks up the engine, grabs holt that shifter thingy an' push the button......WALLA, it works. "You good Billy Bob". 

Today is my 4th day at San Pedro campground in Del Rio, Texas....with no internet, what really make old Billy Bob feel somewhat angry with Verizon. The only place in the whole freak'n world where Verizon won't work and that's right where I plant myself.

Me and old Barney been everywhere. High dollar eat'm up places eat'n up shrimps an' stuff like that. He been mak'n me climb down cliffs, over brush an' weeds, great big ol' rocks, just to get to a fish'n hole.....where there ain't no fish. Not even a little bitty one, 2 inch long or nuttin like that. Sheesh, how I gonna catch me up a fish if'n there ain't none.

Until next time, this is old Billy Bob sign'n off. See ya down the road a piece.

Count down....

Oh boy, I get to see the sun come up this morn'n. What a thrill to look out the winder and see this look'n back at ya. Not a spectacular view of a sunrise if ya ask me. But like they always say...."ya get what ya pay for".

Speak'n of gas prices, what some pretty little girl mentioned......it don't matter. Ya got to understand, that when you retire, buy a big ol' motorhome (Sally da house) and tow a big "that jeep" behind it, it's almost 60 feet long. Now you try to pull this rig up to a pump at the local convenience store. It won't fit and you can not back up. If I drive 8 miles to save a couple cents on a gallon, I'm gonna burn a gallon of fuel or more. So I save nothing. But I have on occasion HAD to drive 4 and 5 miles off my route just to find a station I can fit this rig into. I dread refueling. A trip such as this Texas trip, I'll burn over 350 gallons of fuel. Gotta dig deep in the pockets for that.

Remember all that stuff I were gonna do yesterday so I wouldn't have to do it this morning? Well, guess what. No, never mind, you already know the answer.....didn't do a damn thing. Not only did old Billy Bob feel terrible yesterday, he feel worse this morning. "What the hell did ya eat this time Billy Bob"?

Ok, 10am and all is well.

Well all except for the damn dash air. Where the hell did my freon go? Will have to suffer my way to Del Rio with out it, but ya knows how tuff Billy Bob can be. Ain't skeered no stink'n heat.

Went dumpster div' a while ago. Fount me a great big ol' American flag. I'm talk'n BIG. Now what the hell I gonna do with it....blanket for the bed??? Or a couch cover??? Front winder screen thingy??? I'm talk'n BIG. Maybe put it on my awning like one them screen thingys for shade.....yeah, another project.

Ok folks, see ya down the road a piece.

1pm update:

That ain't so bad. Got the winder open and the fans run'n. Finally got out of the high humidity of the gulf coast and a few miles behind me. But......ya know what a back up monitor is??? It a little tv what hangs up thewre on the dash so's you can see what behind ya when ya back up. Mine stays on all the time so's I can see when "that jeep" come loose an' hits the shoulder....off into the corn fields. Well, that sucker done quit work'n. Now we talk'n anywheres from $400 to $600 just for a new unit. Then it gots to be installed. Is this another project for the Billy Bob?

Ok, just let'n ya know I'm still truck'n down the road a piece. Laters from somewheres.

Pack'n up....

Although 86 to 88 degrees may seem somewhat warm to some, I don't think I gonna be need'n no air conditioning. If worse comes to worster, I can always crank up the generator. Yep, boondock'n is rough. Ain't many can survive the extreme elements that those temps, but old Billy Bob is used to these extremes. When I were 13 year old, I lived in the desert, place call Twentynine Palms....California if'n ya didn't know. We didn't have no air condition back then....in fact we didn't have no electricity neither. But back then, we didn't think much bout how hot it were......115 was the norm.  Burlap was hung over the winders at night with a gallon jug drip system. Gentle breezes would bring in soothing cooled air in the heat of the evening. It were part of grow'n up in the desert.

Boy howdy is Billy Bob got lots to do today or what? Ya see, I always wait till the last minute to do things that might be considered work. Pack'n up for a road trip is work, so I waited till the last minute. Got to make a trip to town for a couple weeks supply of eat'em ups.....you know what I'm talk'n bout. Pick up a few items at the hardware store. Get me one more them cherry hot fudge sundae thingys. Then back to "da house" and pack it up for a long 310 mile drive to Del Rio, Texas. May spend tomorrow night camped out at the Walmart RV Resort in Uvalde, Tx. before mak'n that last hunnert mile journey on to Del Rio. 

It ain't too often when old Billy Bob carelessly flips his lips and says the wrong thing. Well I did that yesterday when I says "no one" instead of "not many". "That's all I have to say bout that"....Gump.

Ok....gonna head 'em off to town. Excitement awaits Billy Bob in the old fishing village of Port Aransas.

Sunday afternoon update

Since no one read this morning edition of Billy Bob's Adventures, here's an update of this afternoon.

The printer is up and running. Does a fair job for what I want it to do. Only problem is I have a room full up with wires hang'n all over the place. So....I am gonna make my kitchen table area my computer command center. Just like NASA. What means I gonna be mov'n stuff. Remodel. Tear down walls. Throw stuff to the dumpster. Break out power tools. Big hammers, table saw, engine hoist....hydraulic jacks an' stuff.

Actually what I gonna do is move a cabinet from over there to over here where the other table chair is located what is never used and I don't eat at the table 'cause there ain't no room.......PHEEEEEWWWW, that was a mouth full. Then I might buy me one them recliner type chairs to put over there where I move the cabinet from.

Yup....that what I gonna do, but not today. Be another project.

Oh yeah afore I forget.....I changed my mind. Well, Barney helped changed it for me. We gonna meet up in Del Rio round bout wednesday or thursday. Do some boat'n in the "bubba boat", catch us up some fish, spend some leisure time just sit'n back jaw'n and tell'n a few lies. Well wait a minute, old Billy Bob don't lie and I don't think Barney do either. 

New project

Holy crap, today is Sunday. Tuesday is departure day and I have no idea where I gonna go. I'm headed west, so it shouldn't be too hard to figger out. Rekon I better break out my Rand McNally GPS and figger out a route and a few places to camp. Ya can buy your own Rand McNally GPS at most any Walmart for $5.97. I'm think'n 2 weeks is enough time to drive the 800 plus miles to Deming.....what ya think?

Ok, let's talk bout this Boze sound system what I bought. "What the hell was ya think'n Billy Bob"???? Holy crap I can yell that loud. Like I said before, it's an excellent system if'n all ya want to do is listen to "quiet" tunes at bout 100 or so decibels. Now I ain't say'n that 100 decibels ain't loud 'cause it is. But that ain't what I were look'n for. I want that hammer'n bass....shake stuff.....rattle doors and winders. No I ain't too old for that kind of stuff.

So here what I gonna do. Back in Deming I have my old bass 10 inches speaker what the amplifier burn slap up. It were a Logitech just like what I was want'n in the first place. I gonna take this Boze thingy apart and put the guts inside my old box. Then cross my fingers an' hope it don't catch fire when I crank it up. Yup....another project for old Billy Bob. It's projects like this that give ya the feel'n of...."you da man Billy Bob".

Speak'n of projects.....let me tell ya bout this wireless printer thingy I bought. Holy cows, how the hell do ya hook it up? Mess around with it last night for a couple hour when I come to the conclusion....it ain't gonna work. Well, maybe it ain't. I got it to finally hook up to the router, but that ain't what I want. Don't need no stink'n router when ya got a wireless computer. Today I gonna try to install all the set up stuff on the computer from CD disc an' see what it do. Damn, why they make this stuff so complicated....change this setting, change this change that, hook up this hook up that....and the damn thing still don't work. Where's help when ya need it??? Yeah I read the freak'n instruction.....a hunnert time an' still don't understand a damn thing.

Was gonna do laundry today but decided to vacuum instead. Takes less time ya know and the laundry will still be there when I get back to Deming. Stink a little, but what the hell, I still got plenty underdrawers left. Ya see, I got a inventory of underdrawers of bout 30 pairs what will last bout 6 months or so if'n I'm conservative an' don't change too offen. Ain't got no date scheduled for the next few weeks, so I'm good to go.

2:30pm.......Ok, so no ones interested.

Well, Billy Bob done bit the bullet and relocated that damn wireless printer.....under a chair on the nasty dirt collect'n floor. Gonna hook it up with a wire......Oh no, not more wires. Holy Jesus, I got too many damn wires hook up to my laptop already. Us'n 3 USB connections and need one more. Damn....this sucks.

Got the floors all vacuum up. Look like a brand spank'n new floor now. Well it did until Sadie May brung in some more grass an' crap from outside. Changed the license plates on "da house". I were just get'n to remember what the numbers was and they send me a new set....with different numbers an' letters. Sheesh!!!

Got it pretty much figger out where I gonna go from here. Inks Lake State Park. Catch me up some fish this time an' not sink the "bubba boat". But that decision is subject to change. At my age, all I got to do is say I forgot where I was go'n and go somewheres else.

Ok, on with the printer installation.

New gadgets

I'm gonna start this morn'n with a little story bout "grudges". You know what I'm talk'n bout....somebody says something to ya what ya ain't expect'n them to say, so's ya throws the old grudge trick on 'em. I have a cousin. Lives in California, not that that would make any difference. One time as a teenager, I says to her..."Margaret, you're cute but you're fat" Oh my God, should'a never say that. When my Uncle died in 2004 I think it was, she still would not talk to me. Over 40 years she carries that grudge. And to this day, she still fat. Don't do it folks. Ain't worth it. Watch what ya say an' don't be toss'n "grudges" round like they was nurf balls.

Ok here the deal. I were gonna make a comment on this Boze sound system I bought yesterday. It were gonna be something like this..."OH YEAH....OH YEAH.....KNOCK YER SOCKS OFF"!!!!! Now ya got to know old Billy Bob and understand him and his ways. I ain't say'n this system ain't good, 'cause it is. It's fantastic. Clear and crisp. LOUD. All the good stuff you would expect from a 'spensive Boze sound system. But ya got to understand, old Billy Bob had his eye on a different system...one what has the power to rattle the winders and doors off the neighbors house a block away. That's what I'm talk'n bout. Hmmmmm, how can I modify this system to do what I want it to do???

Now bout that wireless printer I bought. Well hell, ya gotta have a wifi router for it to work without wires. Well I got me one them router thingys an' I got a 100 page booklet of instructions. Sheesh.....what the hell did I buy? I don't even use a printer. But it got one them flat top "sit on take a picture yer butt" thingys....what ever it called.

Ok....I'm out of here for a bit......back laters with excit'n news and nonsense.