Thursday, September 5, 2013

A trip to Walmart....Deming New Mexico

Brake systems and repair seems to be the subject of interest. Can the old Billy Bob muster enough patience to wait for his mechanic Mark, or is he gonna climb under "da house" an' do it his self? Either way is acceptable.

Can I hurt myself? Well, I rekon there's always a possibility....like if the ground suddenly gave way an' da house" sinked on top of an old man just lay'n there look'n at stuff. Anybody, even a 5 year old, can loosen a few bolts an' remove a couple little parts. I don't need no stink'n chassis manufacturer (Workhorse) to do that....closest Workhorse repair facility is in Las Cruces, bout 60 miles. BUT....the last I heard, that facility no longer exists.

Is this a bug or is it a critter with teeth? I don't know, but when he landed on me, I bet ya a dollar I skeer him as much as he skeer me. My god, I jump 5 feets. I don't like bugs an' such do'n no land'n exercises on me ya know. There was also a pray'n mantis in "da house" too. Did ya know they eat a whole freak'n fly in less than 30 seconds? Legs an' all. Had a big 'un on "da porch" one time. Feed him flys an' stuff with a toothpick. He attack the humming birds. Probly would a got his ass whooped if'n he would a catched one. Bugs are cool.

I jump in "that jeep" an' head to town. Look out people in the Walmart park'n lot, here come the old Billy Bob. I start look'n round at stuff, plac'n a few little "cain't do without" items in my shop'n cart. Then I head off to the grocery department. "You're block'n the ****** aisle ladies". Now get this, I'm on the bread, coffee, coffee mate isle. I need 'em all. There's a cart parked in front the bread I want, nobody around....and a open purse in the cart. She's talk'n to her neighbor 10 feet away, blocking the aisle to all traffic com'n an' go'n. A simple "excuse me" gets the cart moved...and she go back to talk'n to her neighbor, right where my next purchase is sit'n on the shelf. Another "excuse me" moves them in front of the coffee. I'm out of coffee ya know. It's been like a hour an' I'm get'n a little pissed that these women wait till they get to Walmart for a good talk.....I hollers... "you're blocking the eff'n aisle ladies". And they was, nobody could get through. I suggest they spend the next 10 minutes over in the ladies wear department so's I can get my shop'n done. You would'a think I "B" slap the fat one across the mouth. Her lips was flap'n some kind of obscenities.....and she give me that look.
As I rounded the corner, there they are, still flap'n jaws. Just for the hell of it, I says to the nice lady that left her cart back there..."if that was your cart back there, I think some guy just took your purse". You talk bout break'n up a jaw'n session....yeah boy howdy, that lady could move.

Check out was no better, although there was no line to wait in. The checker girl was bend over the counter read'n a newspaper flyer or something like that. I says..."are you open"? I start fill'n up the automatic conveyer thingy an' it don't move. I says...."can you turn this thing on"? She puts her flyer down...flip the switch....and go back to her flyer. I ain't done yet, that flyer must have been interesting. She's bag'n my groceries....put a half gallon jug of milk in with my fresh bread. "Ya smashed my bread". Then I wait for a new loaf of bread. She goes back to her flyer. Finally after a five minute wait to replace my smashed bread... "That'll be $102 dollars" she pick up that damn flyer again while I'm swipe'n my card. This is probly a graduate from some local community college. This is Walmart. Ya gotta love Walmart employees.

I get back to "da house", tote my purchases inside an' go sit on "da porch....wored slap out. Still no mechanic. I read a few comments on the blog. Maybe I need to practice some patience. So I thought no more bout the damn brakes for the rest of the day. But I dream'n bout 'em. Here I are go'n down this long grade off the top a mountain. I'm push'n them brakes as hard I can. Go'n a hunnert mile a hour. I waked up with a leg a freak'n cramp. 


  1. Wow, BB, reading about your adventures today was like reading a good, exciting book! No wonder you were slap wore out!

  2. yeah, those wal mart trips are funny. can't wait for the next trip. I went to wal mart with my pop one time and boy let me tell you it was some trip. now I still go to wal mart with him time time , he goes his way and I go mine. Now me I don't go to wal mart unless I have to. can't stand wal mart. your leg cramp today was from your dream smashing them breaks so hard. lol... hope you get them fix soon so you can relax like a retired man should. play golf, fish, ride bikes, set on Da Porch. love you...

  3. I have a private contest going with myself to see if I can't find the slowest WM cashier, I am often amazed at the new entries to the contest I find.
    Every once in awhile I'll get a receipt that has a survey on it, even rarer is when it happens after I get a check out person like the one you had, but sometimes I get lucky!

  4. BB
    I learnt bout Walmart too Sept 4th, never go there the few days after the SS checks gets delivered. Yep, those jabberin ladies are spoken bad about by the man of mine after he goes shoppin, he tells me they take up the whole aisle from beginning to end.
    "wored slap out" made me chuckle a bit!!
    Good blog. I enjoyed reading. I've been to Deming, Elephant Butte, and Los Cruces. Bernalillo I spent 8 weeks there. Nice place for sights and walking. Sure would like to go back next spring.
    Enjoy your time while in NM, and don't bug out over them little bugs!! They won't eat much...Get them brakes fixed real soon, ya hear??

  5. I can certainly understand about mechanics and them having a different way to tell time. I think they are all even though they have probably never heard of it...on Terlingua time.

    Patience is not one of my virtues so it would be hypocritical of me to ask you to have some. With that said...why are you in such a hurry? You can drive "that jeep" to go see the doctor and just wait it out until the mechanic can get to "Sally da House".

    1. Whoever said patience is a virtue was dead on.
      The Queen of Procrastination has no Patience? Here is a poem for you MsB.

      Patience is learned from practice using it.
      Knowing when and when not to make your move can be vital
      Just don't confuse patience with procrastination
      If you're not careful you'll mistake the two
      Wait too long and your life will pass you by
      Procrastination doesn't allow for preparedness
      Putting things off assures that you'll never be ready to fly
      Be patient but never procrastinate

  6. Sure can relate to those Walmart visits think they are the same about everywhere, hope you get them brakes fixed up.