Friday, September 20, 2013

Meeting Alice....

Don't ya just hate it when people try to paint a picture of ya an' when they finish, it don't look nuttin like ya? They say mean an' hateful things bout your character. They try to make snide humorous remarks what ain't even close to be'n funny. I say ..."Grrrrrrrr".

Holy crap, I sleeped almost 10 hours last night. With only one wake up.

I 'member the day I picked up "Alice". I had been out make'n the rounds....check'n out the lovely beauties ya know. At one establishment, there sat a lonely look'n older lady, back in the last row all by herself. She needed a bath an' a good rub down would have greatly improved her appearance. She was short and she was wide, not overweight by no means.....just plump. I was "stricken", and she was affordable. I sat down with the "keeper" of this out of the way establishment and a deal was made. "Alice" would go home with me today, to live a life of unknown adventure and tender loving care.

On the return journey from Boerne, Texas to Port Aransas, I discovered Alice had a drink'n problem. I had picked up a gallon or so in Boerne, but had to stop down the road a piece when she had drinked that and more. By the time we arrived in Port Aransas later that evening, Alice was about drinked out of her favorite, recently purchased of hi-octane "go go" juice.

I talked Alice into a vacation trip to California....as soon as I received my retirement papers from The University of Texas. We made plans of places to stop off and see along the way. Routes were plotted on my Walmart special GPS device...a recent copy of Rand McNally Road Atlas. We had a destination in mind. Places to see an' things to do.  First mate Vickie Lynn was taken along to keep things tidy.

We purchased right bout a hunnert pound or so of groceries, foul weather gear, blankets fit for a trip to Alaska....it was winter ya know....we patiently waited for our departure day, January 20th 2002. I was get'n to know Alice pretty good by now. Knowed her drink'n abilities an' prepared for just that....carry along lots of "go go" juice. In some areas she was a bit temperamental. In cold weather, it took a few minutes to get her day started, but later in the day she mellow out to a fine lady. Do exactly what I tell her. As long as Alice had her "go go" juice to keep her in top shape, she never miss a lick.

Meet my beloved "Alice". Thirty feets of romp'n stomp'n, 454 powered, 1989 "go go juice" gasoline guzzl'n motorhome. Tiffin Open Road.  
Yeah I know, I posted this pic before, but some of ya never had a personal introduction to Alice before. She was a hum-dinger an' I still miss her today....God rest her soul.  Probly sit'n in some junk yard in south Texas somewheres now.

Ha....the clean'n lady is mine. An' you thought the old Billy Bob done lost his touch. But, she's only temporary. Once she get "Sally da house" sparkl'n clean, she's out of here. "Down the road nice clean'n woman, you got baggage....down the road with ya".

Everbody has got different opinions on travel companions, lady friends an' would be maternal partners. How do I know?? I seen it right here on my own blog. Although I would make an excellent "legal" partner to any wayward lonely child of the opposite sex, I ain't never ever gonna do it again. Ya see, I ain't never forget the turmoil generated by a controlling an' demand'n last wife. It was all fine....until the day I says "I do". That when the "control freak" demons was released from her soul. My god...Oh hell no. "Run Billy Bob, run"!!!

When you're look'n to meet up with a travel companion, everbody ain't got just one suitcase full of "baggage, but they got a damn "warehouse" full. Travel'n in a RV upsets their "sticks an' bricks" lifestyle.

Before any you winnins get all upset, men ain't no better. Just look in the refrigerator. There ain't a 6 pac in there, there's a case....drunk city come'n on. Yup, us men folk have faults too. Ya ever dance with yourself? Looks kind of funny huh? Takes two to tangle....oh wait, not tangle..."tango". 

Just a little note here on "rejuvenating" batteries. A rejuvenated battery will NEVER produce the potential capacity of a new battery. Only a portion there of....like at most 40%. Replace the battery you killed, don't attempt to revive it. Better yet....think AGM. Google that if you must.

In answer to ButterBeans comments on the golf clubs. Yes it was a wonderful birthday present to old "pesky neighbor" Wayne when I agreed to buy his golf clubs. He now has money in the pocket that he didn't have before. Anybody interested in purchas'n a fine set of used golf clubs? I don't need them.      


  1. There is a motorhome sitting down the road that looks just like that one you posted a picture of. Could it be Alice? Actually, I have seen a lot of them going down the road. They must be good ones and popular. Have even seen them on TV adds.

  2. I never did like anyone trying to "fix me up" with a man. I found my own men but sure didn't do all that great either. And anyone past a "certain age" has got a whole heap of problems I don't need. Finding a good friend, man or woman, is the difficult thing.

  3. While you have written about Alice before...I liked the way you wrote this particular introduction of how she came into your life.