Sunday, September 15, 2013

I'm nuts over nuts

There was a guy in the mental institution removing lug nuts from the wheels on a car. He says...."I may be nuts, but I ain't crazy".

A candy bar without nuts is just another candy bar. Try removing the nuts from a Snickers an' tell me what ya got. Just another candy bar. Many many years ago...God I can't remember how many, Three Musketeers was my favorite candy bar. Then I found out how much better a candy bar was with nuts. I been "nuts" ever since.

It ain't easy be'n a nut ya know. Once ya get that hard outside shell cracked, inside is a delicious morsel of pure delight. I fell out a tree one time an' broke that hard shell....I been "nuts" ever since. But, I'm misunderstood in so many ways.

Well anyways, I didn't do much of anything yesterday. The neighbors kept me run'n back an' forth from "da house" to "da porch". Every time I start on a little project/chore/job, here come somebody to jabber jaw. We sit out there on "da porch" tell'n "sea stories". Mostly BS. Same stories told over an' over again. "I got shot in the ass in Viet Nam". I fell off a ship into shark infested waters". "I catched a fish [this] big". "I camped on top of Mt. Everest for a week....naked".  Boy howdy, men folk sure do know how to tell some tall tales. I ain't get'n into what wimmins talk bout. I might be nuts, but I ain't crazy.

I spend a freak'n hour clean'n my table/computer station yesterday morn'n. This morn'n....what the hell?, where all this stuff come from? It's a man thing....empty spot, put something in it. It ain't like I got time to be put'n stuff up, with my busy schedule and works in progress....stuff like that ya know. "Right Billy Bob, like you're soooo busy".
Tidiness is for wimmins. Clutter is for men. Is at my house anyhows.

The last couple days, my back has been much better than a week or so ago. See above...."run'n back an' forth". It ain't far from "da house" to "da porch", but when ya make a hunnert trips a day, that's exercise....right? I been sit'n less an' that damn couch, I try to stay slap off it. *got to git that thing fixed* When I sit down, my ass go all the way to the metal frame. That ain't right an' it probly don't help my back any none either.

Ok, old "pesky neighbor" Wayne been driv'n by on the golf cart bout a hunnert times. I'm go'n to "da porch".    


  1. The old joke I remembered was about the guy outside a mental hospital who got a flat tire and was changing it while an inmate was watching through the fence. The guy changing the tire put the lug nuts in the hupcap but then bumped it real hard and all the lug nuts go down a nearby drain. He says what the heck am I going to do now? The nut behind the fence tells him to take one lugnut off each of his other wheels and use it to put the spare on until he can get somewhere to get more of them. The guy says that was great idea, so why are you locked up in a mental institution and I am out here? The nut says he may be crazy but not stupid.

  2. We are all a bit nuts, kinda makes life interesting.

  3. Being nuts is good! After all, just think how boring "normal" could be!