Friday, September 27, 2013

Golf ball swak'n 101

Friday golf lesson #437. Never eat a great big sammich before attempting to hit a golf ball.

I decided I would go swak a few. I took a 500mg aspirin before we left. Built a sammich from hell bout [this] thick. Ya see, what happens, ya need flexibility an' stability when ya hit a golf ball. A full stomach takes that all away. Ya get "belly rumbles", your bloated stomach presses against your lungs....you cain't breath. You miss the ball a good 4 inches or ya hit it out there in the woods somewheres out of bounds. Don't eat!!!!

Well, even though I had eat up that big ol' sammich, I still had a good wonderful great outstanding round of golf. I were swak'n golf balls just like I was do'n 5 years ago. My automatic putter saved me a few shot and Wayne's old golf'n clubs proved to be a improvement over mine. Much to my surprise.

I'm think'n 6 pars out of 18 holes is a pretty good start of a new career. See that birdie on #8? My second shot was pin high off the green sit'n in 3 inches of grass. Babam....I dig that ball out the heavy grass, up on the green an' right in the hole. Eat yer heart out Tiger Woods. Don't even say nuttin bout hole #9.....8 strokes. Somebody put a house right where my ball was go'n.....an' I hit the damn thing. An then I hit a damn tree out in the middle of the fairway. Then 3 putted. Sure was glad when that hole was over. A very enjoyable game. "Has anybody find my camera yet"? Yup...it was lost yesterday.

I was tell'n Wayne...."I'm gonna pay tonight"? Leg cramps ya know. But I didn't. That's a good sign that golf ball swak'n is still on my list of things I can continue to do.

Neighbor Mark, that's #10 in yesterdays "drama" list, pull a part off'n "Sally da house" this morning. I call it a steering stabilizer, while others call it a steering damper. Both are correct. After 9 years of go'n "down the road a piece", I'm think'n it's bout time to replace.

I buyed me some multi vitamins. Guaranteed to make me feel like a new man....or something like that. How long does it take for these things to kick in? I'm all excitis bout that "new man" stuff. I used to take multi vitamins way back in my other life. Bout the size a dad gum swell up butterbean. Choke an' gag get'n them things down. Strange thing though, they never did make me a new man....probly 'cause I forget to take 'em every day. A bottle of 50 would last me bout 6 months.


  1. If and when you remember the name of those vitamins that made you feel like a new man, please let the rest of us old farts know and alow where to get them. . .

    1. When ya speed read my blog Dizzy, ya miss half of what I have to say.

  2. "How long does it take ....?"
    Two months and maybe never. There are 'vitamins' then there are Vitamins. Discount stores aren't in the health business. VitaCost.com has superior products. At 72, I'm a long life tester and sporadic taker, yet my smoking cancels any benefits ever gained but you are doing better than I - able to hit those balls. Vitamin B-12 is good. Hey, BB, you might check out Kombucha tea on the 'net. Chockful of stuff for what ails a body - talking about vitamins!!! Got a gallon brewing right now. Just suggestions for ye, mind,. I'm with you about those gagging football size pills - I find one goes down easier when I swallow like a bird drinks, but still....

    Dang getting old; makes me get plumb riled ...it ain't a bit fair!